"Queer Eye For The Amish Guy"
NOTE: This story contains some language that might be offensive to gays. I only included it because it seems like things that the Fab 5 would say.
Background:
The Fab 5 takes a private jet out to Lancaster, PA, in order to give a makeover to Jebediah Stoltzfus, a not so chic Amish man. Like with all of the other straight guys made over, they cover the areas of grooming, food & wine, culture, interior design, and fashion. However, since the Amish are very strict in following the ways of the Bible, the Queer Eye boys might encounter some trouble changing the ways of Jebediah and his family.
On the plane flight:
TED: Let's see, our next victim is…Jebediah Stoltzfus. Husband of Mary, father of 17. His 13-year-old daughter Annie signed him up.
CARSON: 17 kids…and I thought Amish people were uptight and prudish. I guess Jeb likes to churn things other than butter.
THOM: Age 49, from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Quite a sight! Kyan, you got a lot of work to do, buddy. (Laughs)
KYAN: Oh man, this guy looks like he's a member of ZZ Top tribute band at a funeral…but there is good news…I can see a slight resemblance to Justin Timberlake in one of his older sons.
JAI: Although they're very religious and we have to respect their beliefs and all, I think we can kind of mix all the traditional Amish get-up with some modern items. Who knows, maybe we'll be lucky and get them to use electricity!
TED: I wouldn't hold my breath. But Carson, I think you can persuade him to accessorize!
CARSON: Well, right now, Jeb is mighty unstylin', if you ask me. We need to get rid of all of that black. Horrid, I tell you, horrid!
KYAN: But I am impressed that the mustache is non-existent. Snaps for some shaving!
(They all snap)
JAI: So boys, I think we have our work cut out for us. Our mission is to make Jeb un hombre elegante.
ALL: A hip Amish guy!
