(The jet lands on a grassy field and the guys exit the plane. They are shocked at what they see nearby—a few houses, a busy barn full of animals and a cornfield filled with men working)
KYAN: Oh…my…god…
THOM: What did we do to deserve this?
CARSON: WHERE ARE WE?! I think the pilot tricked us and brought us to Nebraska. But why are there all these people with ugly boxcars and unfestive outfits?
TED: Guys, the house is over there!
(They run over to a simple wooden house with some children husking corn on the front steps.)
JAI: Hey kids! We're here to rescue your dad and make him into one cool dude!
(The kids look at each other, confused)
SAMUEL: (Whispering to his sister, Sarah) Who are they? Look at their strange clothes.
SARAH: The Fab 5. Annie watched their show when she was at someone's house and she decided to call them to give Father a haircut and some new things to wear. (Turns to the guys) Hello. Would like to go in the house?
KYAN: Well we didn't come out to some boring farm to pick up some one-night stands! (Laughs)
SAMUEL: (Even more confused) OK… (Pushes door open, and the guys run into the house. Jebediah's wife and some of his children are doing household chores)
THOM: Knock knock! We're coming in!
MARY: (Startled) Excuse me, may we help you?
KYAN: Hey Mary! So nice to meet you! (Tries to hug her but she backs away) Sure you can…just tell us where Sasquatch is.
MARY: Sasquatch? Who is Sasquatch? More importantly, who are you?! Why are you here?!
THOM: We're the Fab 5. Annie signed us up so we can give a makeover to Jeb. We'll fly him out to New York and take good care of him. (Shakes head in disappointment) Now, tell me why you have quilts hung on the walls. Is this your idea of décor?
MARY: (Disgusted) Ann, how did you find out about these men?
ANNIE: Um…I saw them…(sighs) on television.
MARY: Where?
ANNIE: Remember I went over Daniel's house a few weeks ago to work on a project for school? After we finished, we watched a little TV. I hope you don't mind.
MARY: I certainly DO mind! You know that after you are done with schoolwork at a person's house, you are to come home immediately. You also know electricity is off limits. And so are boys—at least at your age.
ANNIE: We didn't do anything bad…
MARY: I don't care at this point. For the next month, you are waking up an hour earlier to help milk the cows and after homework is done, it's straight to bed for you.
TED: Sorry to interrupt you, but where's Jeb?
MARY: Jeb? Jebediah is out in the field.
KYAN & CARSON: We'll be right back, people!
TED: Mary, I'm sorry, but between you and me, I think it was kind of rude of us to intrude like that. Even though we started off on the wrong foot, let's start fresh. Hi, I'm Ted.
MARY: (Smiles) Well, OK. I actually could use some work around here, with 17 kids and all. Plus, my eldest daughter, Rebecca, is getting married this Tuesday.
TED: Wow! Now we really have something to prep Jeb for. Well, I just wanted talk to you about some of the foods you have in your kitchen. I'm impressed that you don't use any of the processed stuff that's in supermarket aisles.
MARY: Oh yes. We only eat the gifts that nature provides for us during harvest.
TED: (Surprised at Mary's answer) Um…yeah…anyway, I'm happy about all of the fresh, whole foods that you cook with but I think I can infuse some sauces and more modern, urban flavorings to spice them up. I have a feeling we can cook up some new, original recipes for Rebecca's wedding.
MARY: Well, I'm more the conventional type, but I'm sure Rebecca will be willing to try it.
JAI: Now I know you aren't too keen on playing musical instruments, but I think I can help you, and especially the kids, to have some after-dinner, after-work fun. I have some new books for you and your kids, and also some toys for them. I'll help update your family on pop culture and such.
CARSON: (Walks back into the house with Kyan, while pulling Jebediah by the ear) So this is what you married, Mar?
MARY: (Laughs) Yes. That's my lovely husband.
KYAN: Trust me, hun. He'll be even lovelier once we get rid of the beard and the excessive amount of ear hair.
JEBEDIAH: (Annoyed) What is the meaning of this?
THOM: We're gonna make you—and your house and buggy—look like a million bucks for Rebecca's wedding.
JEBEDIAH: I do not need a makeover! This will be a traditional Amish wedding with a customary ceremony and a dinner afterwards. Nothing extravagant and out of the ordinary.
CARSON: Yeah, well that was before we came. We're gonna get you a new tux and make this house look more 2004 than 1804. OK?
JEBEDIAH: (Sighs, but realizes this might to his advantage and smirks slightly) Do I have a choice?
THOM: Nope. But I have the perfect plan to decorate this house, by adding some contemporary pieces that will jazz up some of your more traditional items. Plus, we're gonna make your buggy look all festive for after the wedding ceremony. We'll make a "just married" sign and attach it to the back.
CARSON: And we'll purchase some couture for your little horse friend. He'll be all festive and pretty, which will allow the bride and groom to leave their nuptials in style. (Looks at his watch and signals the door) You know, we better get going; let's board the jet.
(Jebediah kisses Mary and bids farewell to her and the children in the house)
JAI: (Singing) We're going to New York City, gonna make you look real pretty…
CARSON: C'mon kids. Let's put our derrieres in motion and get ready to transform our Jeb!
(Jebediah and the Fab 5 jog out of the house)
KYAN: (Turns to Jebediah's family) Trust me, you're all gonna love us when we get back here!
