A/N: This idea just kind of came to me as I was mulling over my new obsession, Yu-Gi-Oh. It's really weird, yes. That means you must review! Why? I don't know. I must tell you now, as well, o reader, that this fic has, within it, slight yaoi, 'cause I like the Yami/hikari pairings. Not a romance fic, but they're definitely together. Also, Marik=Yami Marik, Malik=the other one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh and I don't own, um, anything else, either. Wow, that depresses me.

The main premise of this story is that Ryou and Yugi are trying to make their yamis be friends-or at least not mortal enemies. First, they've started a book discussion group, and they'll do something different every time until the yamis are friends-or until they're all dead. They've brought Marik and Malik in, too, because the authoress likes them. So ha.

Yugi and Ryou were just realizing that they were both crazy. "Yugi, I'm not sure if this was a good idea," Ryou whispered.

"Me neither," Yugi admitted, surveying the scene before them. His yami was alternately glaring at Bakura and Marik, as though he couldn't decide which he hated more. Marik was poking Bakura with the Millennium Rod. Malik was rolling his eyes.

Just then, Bakura decided he'd had enough. He grabbed Marik's hand and squeezed. "You touch me one more time, and I'll break more than your hand."

Marik sneered and calmly extricated his hand. "Ha. You couldn't, idiot."

The two spirits glared at each other, and Yami glared at both of them.

"Um, maybe we should start," Yugi suggested unenthusiastically.

"Yes," agreed Ryou.

Yugi cleared his throat. "The first meeting of the book discussion group is going to start now, okay?"

Marik sneered again (something he was really good at) and said, "What if it's not okay? Will you cry?"

Yami's belt knife (something Yugi could not stop him from carrying) was at Marik's throat. "Say another word to him and I will kill you."

"No, Yami, it's all righ-" Yugi started, but it was too late. Malik rushed to defend his yami, expertly carrying out some sort of karate move that flipped the Pharaoh over, and removed the knife from Marik's neck.

Bakura had been watching with amusement, and now he burst out laughing hysterically. He almost fell off of his chair.

"Bakura, it's not funny!" Ryou said indignantly.

"Yes it is, hikari," Bakura corrected, catching him by the arm. "Come sit by me, Ryou, instead of by the Pharaoh's brat boy."

Ryou pulled away indignantly. "You're being impossible!"

Bakura laughed once more. "That's why you love me isn't it?"

Ryou sighed and returned to his original seat on the couch. Yugi had pulled the other three apart, and was standing between Yami and his opponents.

"Everybody!" Yugi shouted. "Sit down! Yami, don't kill anyone! You either, Marik, Malik. We started this book club so we could get to know each other better, not so we could fight!"

*No killing for you, either,* Ryou silently informed Bakura.

**Oh, you are no fun, hikari** Bakura replied. **Fine, no killing for me.**

Yugi surveyed the room again. This time, the outlook was more hopeful. Bakura only looked sulky, and Marik's arm was possessively around Malik, who had apparently sustained several bruises. Yami was looking half like a scolded puppy, and half like an imperious pharaoh, but at least he wasn't shooting dirty looks at anyone.

"All right then," said Yugi, trying to sound cheerful. "The book for this week is Moby Dick. How many of you read the book like you were supposed to?"

Marik said, "Not me. I can't read English."

Malik looked indignant. "Yes you can! I taught you, idiot!"

Marik replied, "Fine. I read the first two sentences, and I thought it was stupid. 'Call me Ishmael'?"

Yami looked slightly abashed and glanced apologetically at Yugi. "I didn't read it, either."

Yugi groaned. "My own yami! What were you doing all week?"

"Contemplating the mysteries of life?" Yami offered, then shut up as Yugi sighed and looked disgusted. Marik snickered.

"I read it," said Malik. "I thought it was stupid, too."

Bakura leaned back, and said smugly, "I read the whole thing."

Ryou and Yugi looked absolutely astonished. "The whole thing?" Ryou asked in shock. "You didn't!"

Bakura stretched lazily and said, "Well, after stealing it from Borders I might as well have read it, right?"

Ryou shook his head. "This isn't a book stealing club, it's a book discussion club, 'Kura!"

"At least I did better than the Pharaoh," Bakura answered, still looking like the cat who caught the canary. "Hahaha."

Malik said, "At least no one else will be imprisoned for petty theft."

Yugi glanced at Ryou. "Ryou, I don't think this is working."

Ryou replied, "You're telling me." After the snicker from Marik, Yami had begun beating him over the head with the Millennium Puzzle. "Take that! And that! And that! I am Pharaoh, fool!"

Malik was not coming to his yami's defense because Bakura was strangling him. "Idiot," Bakura hissed. "Don't mess with me! Petty theft! I'll have you know that I am not petty, nor will ever be!"

Malik started croaking out the words to an Egyptian death spell.

"Hey!" Ryou exclaimed, tackling Malik. "None of that!"

Bakura smirked. "Thank you, hikari."

"You either," Ryou reproved him. "No strangling!"

"Next week," said Yugi despairingly, "we do something slightly less dangerous!"

A/N: So, how was it? I could use suggestions for 'bonding activities', if you have any. REVIEW or else!