Title: Big Brother Stargate - Sara's Interview
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Details: Response to Heliopolis challenge #1865. Choose any ten members of Stargate SG1 and put them in big brother. Rules: Must include Sg1, Anise, Hathor, Martouf and Janet. Lines: "That is not legal." "Don't worry, they'll have to come up for breath soon.", "Um...Jack, you do know we're on national TV, right?"
Summary: Sara on life in the Big Brother house, Jack O'Neill, the evil goddess Anise and who she wants to win.
Disclaimer: None of the characters or places in this story belong to me, they are the property of Sci Fi, MGM Worldwide, Brad Wright, Gekko Film Corp and Double Secret productions. Obviously, you all know what Big Brother is and I certainly don't own it, so don't even try to sue me for that. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: Just imagine the Big Brother guy's voice - it makes it funnier.
~ Big Brother Stargate - Sara's Interview ~
By Ruth
'Stargate Big Brother' Series Copyright (c) 2003 Ruth
**********
IMPORTANT NOTICE: My email address has changed. Samcarterusaf@yahoo.co.uk is NO LONGER ACTIVE!! My new address is jm-webmistress@fsmail.net Please change your address books accordingly. Thank you, and enjoy the fic!
**********
"Hello everybody, I'm here with this week's evictee - SARA!"
(Cheering from crowd)
"Now, Sara - you were only entered into the house after 5-6 weeks, so how do you think this affected your bonding with the other housemates?"
"Well, obviously, they had all got to know each other very well and it..well it seemed like Jonas and I were intruding on them."
"Yes, Sara - that was the idea."
"Ookay then."
"What did you think of Jonas? Funny guy, huh?"
"Are we talking funny ha ha or funny weird?" Sara asked.
"Both, I suppose. What did you make of his horror movie stunt during week 6?"
"It was actually quite frightening. The fact that he was so damned proud of it made it worse."
"Oh, come on Sara! He wouldn't have actually hurt you!"
"HE KILLED THE CHICKENS ON SUNDAY NIGHT!"
"Yes, we are aware of this, Sara."
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I GOT VOTED OFF INSTEAD OF HIM!"
"He's interesting."
(Oooh sound from audience)
"WHAT?? YOU LET A MURDERER STAY IN BECAUSE HE WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ME??"
"Yup."
"AAGGHH!" Sara shouted, "DID YOU ONCE STOP TO THINK ABOUT THE LIVES OF THE OTHER HOUSEMATES? MY EX-HUSBAND IS IN THERE!"
"Ooh - so, Sara, let's talk about your ex. Do you still have feelings for him?
What do you think of his relationship with Sam?"
"We've gone a little off topic, here," Sara said dryly.
"For chrissakes, we still have 25 minutes airtime, now TALK!"
"Okay, okay. Yes, Jack is still a great friend to me - I would be very distressed if that f*cking nutter Jonas killed him!"
"And, what do you think of his relationship with Sam?"
"She's a nice woman, but I didn't see much of her inside the house - I was with Anise most of the time."
"Was this a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Well, at the time it seemed like a good thing, but in retrospect it probably wasn't. She led me to believe that Sam was evil, and she's plotting to marry Jack."
"Sara, are you aware of what Anise managed to do last night?"
"No - did she escape?"
"Nope. Better than that."
"Well come on then! Tell me!"
"She managed to kiss Jack - and then Sam walked in on them! HOW COOL IS THAT?"
Sara sat quietly for a moment. "Are your ratings really that bad?"
"You don't think that's cool?"
"No, I don't. First - what the hell was Jack doing anyway, second - she's a whore, third - Sam really doesn't deserve this!"
"This is Big Brother! It's our I-don't-know-what series and we're trying to keep our viewers! We have to be a little more disciplinary than before - it makes great TV!"
"This isn't TV! It's people's lives, their emotions!"
"Sara, this is exactly the reason you got voted out. You have to see the unfair side of everything, the why-are-you-doing-this view. Why can't you just chill out?"
"What the hell kind of an interview is this?" Sara stormed.
"It's a Stargate Big Brother 2003 interview."
"It sucks."
"C'est la vie, Sara, c'est la vie!"
"Okay, this is getting too weird."
"Sara, who would you most like to win?"
"Either Jack or Malcolm - both of them have been through a lot, and I think they deserve to win."
"Who would you least like to win?"
"Jonas or Anise - they don't deserve it at all."
"Thank you, Sara. Join us next time for week 8 of Stargate Big Brother 2003!
Sara, here are your best moments!"
('Silence is Golden' plays, with various clips of Sara)
"THANK YOU EVERYBODY!"
**********
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next time: It's day forty-seven in the Big Brother house. Sam is not speaking to Jack or Anise. Harry is holding an official funeral for the chickens, and Jonas is plotting on going out with a bang.
**********
Reminder: My email address has changed to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net Thank you.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Details: Response to Heliopolis challenge #1865. Choose any ten members of Stargate SG1 and put them in big brother. Rules: Must include Sg1, Anise, Hathor, Martouf and Janet. Lines: "That is not legal." "Don't worry, they'll have to come up for breath soon.", "Um...Jack, you do know we're on national TV, right?"
Summary: Sara on life in the Big Brother house, Jack O'Neill, the evil goddess Anise and who she wants to win.
Disclaimer: None of the characters or places in this story belong to me, they are the property of Sci Fi, MGM Worldwide, Brad Wright, Gekko Film Corp and Double Secret productions. Obviously, you all know what Big Brother is and I certainly don't own it, so don't even try to sue me for that. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: Just imagine the Big Brother guy's voice - it makes it funnier.
~ Big Brother Stargate - Sara's Interview ~
By Ruth
'Stargate Big Brother' Series Copyright (c) 2003 Ruth
**********
IMPORTANT NOTICE: My email address has changed. Samcarterusaf@yahoo.co.uk is NO LONGER ACTIVE!! My new address is jm-webmistress@fsmail.net Please change your address books accordingly. Thank you, and enjoy the fic!
**********
"Hello everybody, I'm here with this week's evictee - SARA!"
(Cheering from crowd)
"Now, Sara - you were only entered into the house after 5-6 weeks, so how do you think this affected your bonding with the other housemates?"
"Well, obviously, they had all got to know each other very well and it..well it seemed like Jonas and I were intruding on them."
"Yes, Sara - that was the idea."
"Ookay then."
"What did you think of Jonas? Funny guy, huh?"
"Are we talking funny ha ha or funny weird?" Sara asked.
"Both, I suppose. What did you make of his horror movie stunt during week 6?"
"It was actually quite frightening. The fact that he was so damned proud of it made it worse."
"Oh, come on Sara! He wouldn't have actually hurt you!"
"HE KILLED THE CHICKENS ON SUNDAY NIGHT!"
"Yes, we are aware of this, Sara."
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I GOT VOTED OFF INSTEAD OF HIM!"
"He's interesting."
(Oooh sound from audience)
"WHAT?? YOU LET A MURDERER STAY IN BECAUSE HE WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ME??"
"Yup."
"AAGGHH!" Sara shouted, "DID YOU ONCE STOP TO THINK ABOUT THE LIVES OF THE OTHER HOUSEMATES? MY EX-HUSBAND IS IN THERE!"
"Ooh - so, Sara, let's talk about your ex. Do you still have feelings for him?
What do you think of his relationship with Sam?"
"We've gone a little off topic, here," Sara said dryly.
"For chrissakes, we still have 25 minutes airtime, now TALK!"
"Okay, okay. Yes, Jack is still a great friend to me - I would be very distressed if that f*cking nutter Jonas killed him!"
"And, what do you think of his relationship with Sam?"
"She's a nice woman, but I didn't see much of her inside the house - I was with Anise most of the time."
"Was this a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Well, at the time it seemed like a good thing, but in retrospect it probably wasn't. She led me to believe that Sam was evil, and she's plotting to marry Jack."
"Sara, are you aware of what Anise managed to do last night?"
"No - did she escape?"
"Nope. Better than that."
"Well come on then! Tell me!"
"She managed to kiss Jack - and then Sam walked in on them! HOW COOL IS THAT?"
Sara sat quietly for a moment. "Are your ratings really that bad?"
"You don't think that's cool?"
"No, I don't. First - what the hell was Jack doing anyway, second - she's a whore, third - Sam really doesn't deserve this!"
"This is Big Brother! It's our I-don't-know-what series and we're trying to keep our viewers! We have to be a little more disciplinary than before - it makes great TV!"
"This isn't TV! It's people's lives, their emotions!"
"Sara, this is exactly the reason you got voted out. You have to see the unfair side of everything, the why-are-you-doing-this view. Why can't you just chill out?"
"What the hell kind of an interview is this?" Sara stormed.
"It's a Stargate Big Brother 2003 interview."
"It sucks."
"C'est la vie, Sara, c'est la vie!"
"Okay, this is getting too weird."
"Sara, who would you most like to win?"
"Either Jack or Malcolm - both of them have been through a lot, and I think they deserve to win."
"Who would you least like to win?"
"Jonas or Anise - they don't deserve it at all."
"Thank you, Sara. Join us next time for week 8 of Stargate Big Brother 2003!
Sara, here are your best moments!"
('Silence is Golden' plays, with various clips of Sara)
"THANK YOU EVERYBODY!"
**********
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next time: It's day forty-seven in the Big Brother house. Sam is not speaking to Jack or Anise. Harry is holding an official funeral for the chickens, and Jonas is plotting on going out with a bang.
**********
Reminder: My email address has changed to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net Thank you.
