A/N: Ah, the next installment in this delightful saga, uh, epic, uh, thing. Actually, I'm not sure what it is! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Superthing!! Riiiight, anyway, pay me no mind. I pay myself no mind, because I have none! Long live SUGAR!!!!!!!! (Because the author is temporarily unable to type *cougheatingchocolatecough*, someone slightly more sane will say what she actually wanted to say here) Marik: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bow to me, insubordinate mortal fools! (Because someone saner could not be located, the author will continue rambling) Ms. Thoughts: No, no more rambling. Really. I wanted to say thank you to all my reviewers, because without you, I'd probably be-well, let's think- I'd probably be feeding a can of tuna to my fifty mutant cats-er, something like that. Anyway, thanks for R&R'ing! Oh, also, I just noticed that italics don't show up when I upload stuff (don't know why), so I'm using /blah/ for italics. Okay? Okay.

Disclaimer: Ah, to own Yu-Gi-Oh!, or the rights to some other excellent anime show/game/manga series. Unfortunately I don't. Sigh.

Marik and Malik grinned at each other over a piece of paper. "This /is/ interesting," Marik said, grinning rather insanely, as always. "Really kind of pathetic, but interesting."

"That's what I thought," Malik replied. "Now, I'm sure we can come up with something that violates most of these-ah-guidelines. The only problem will be convincing the brats to let us plan something.." He glanced at his yami.

"Don't worry," Marik assured him, smiling predatorily. "I have an idea, so long as you're willing to do a bit of acting."

"Excellent," Malik said, folding Yugi and Ryou's list and putting it in his pocket. "Next week we can have some /real/ fun."

"Um," said Ryou. "Yugi? I think we have a small problem." The two boys were walking along Yugi and Yami's street.

Yugi glanced over. "Don't tell me you can't find /anyone/ who'll help us with group therapy," he groaned.

"That's exactly it," Ryou told him. "I think Bakura has seen every therapist in Domino! Even Alcoholics Anonymous refuses to have him again!" Yugi looked sideways at the other boy.

In answer to the unspoken question, Ryou sighed and responded, "That was when I was /really/ desperate that I took him there. Remember, after he robbed the psychiatrist?" They both stared into space for a second, remembering. "So you can't find anyone?" Yugi finally said.

"No," Ryou said glumly. "The school counselor still has nervous breakdowns when he hears the name 'Bakura'. When he saw me, he locked himself in his office. I don't know if he's come out yet."

Just then, they heard someone calling them. "Hi, Yugi! Hi Ryou!" Yugi blinked when he saw who it was greeting them in such a friendly tone. It was Malik.

"Um, hi?" Ryou replied, as surprised as Yugi. He had honestly thought that Malik was glued to his dark half. No one had seen them separately in months. "Where's Marik?"

"I wanted to talk to you guys alone," said Malik cheerfully. It was the first time they'd heard him sound happy unless he was talking about fire, blood, vengeance (which often had to do with fire and/or blood), or Marik.

"Okay," said Yugi, really hoping this didn't mean Malik wanted to murder them. "About what?"

"Well," the Egyptian boy began, "I heard you were having trouble finding a therapist who would talk to us, right?"

"Right," said Yugi cautiously.

"So, I was thinking, there's this one new kind of therapy I've been wanting to try. I know some people who could get us in, if you'd like." Malik actually sounded shy, worried that they'd reject his idea.

If Yugi and Ryou hadn't been so down already, they probably would have been suspicious. Yami or Bakura would've seen right through Malik's little charade, and laughed in his face. As it was, though, two kind, sensitive boys whose minds weren't working entirely properly had no chance.

"That sounds great," said Yugi warmly. "Thanks, Malik!"

"You're welcome!" said Malik, grinning. "See you around!"

"Wow," said Ryou, staring after him. "I didn't know he could be so nice."

*Mission accomplished!* Malik said to Marik gleefully. Both of them laughed.

"This is not therapy!" Ryou shouted.

"Well, if you look at it in a certain way, it is," Malik informed him, his smile demonic.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Ryou yelled back. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIEVE YOU!"

"I can," Marik commented. "Easily."

"You're such idiots!" Ryou exclaimed angrily. "I ought to strangle you both!" Then he rounded on Bakura, who was smirking. "What are you so happy about, anyway?"

The grin didn't leave the Tomb Robber's face. "I'm obviously a good influence for you. Do you know how much you look and sound like me right now?" His arm snaked around his hikari. "We could make an even better team if you like killing obnoxious people, too."

"See? We're bringing out the best in him," Malik pointed out. "You should thank us."

"People are looking at us strangely," Ryou said through gritted teeth. "Please, just all of you behave for once."

"No, they're looking at the stupid Pharaoh," said Marik, waving a hand in dismissal.

Yami was asking Yugi numerous questions, his eyes shining. Of course, that made the red of his eyes stand out even more. Everyone was glancing at him sideways.

Yugi wasn't really mad at Malik and Marik. Yami was enjoying what they'd planned, that was for sure. However, he had noticed people staring. *Yami, please, ask me things through the soul link now, all right?*

**This /is/ what they show on television, correct?** Yami asked, complying immediately with his light's request.

Yugi laughed a little. *Yes, Yami, it is.*

Ryou was shaking his head. "I'm just surrounded by lunatics. I can't believe WE'RE AT A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING MATCH!"

"I hear front row seats to these things can be very therapeutic," said Malik, doing his best to look hurt. "I only wanted to help."

"No you didn't," Ryou muttered, trying not to even think of killing Malik.

**You should kill him. You could borrow one of my knives,** Bakura offered silently.

"Maybe you should take up wrestling, Ryou," Malik suggested. "As a way to work off that anger, hmm?"

*I might take you up on that, 'Kura* Ryou replied silently, eliciting a laugh of delight from aforementioned yami.

"Hey, man," said a rough looking guy on the other side of Marik. "You wanna bet on the match? I got fifty says the Exterminator wins."

"I'll wager with you," Marik agreed. "I've seen the Mangler on television. He could definitely crush the Exterminator."

"Yeah, sure," said the guy, rolling his eyes. "We'll just see, buddy."

"You do know this is not exactly a fight, don't you?" Malik asked Marik. "It's rigged."

"So, they cheat?" Marik replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Duh," said Bakura, utilizing one of his favorite modern expressions. "Of course they cheat."

Yami, unfortunately, heard this. "What? They /cheat/?"

"Well, yes," Yugi admitted. "No one could do the things they do for real. But they are really athletic."

Yami frowned and sat back in his chair, no longer staring intently at the ring. "Ah. I see."

Then, the wrestling match actually started. The only ones paying attention were Malik, and Marik, who, of course, had just bet fifty dollars on it. Yami was sulking, having discovered that his favorite television sport wasn't entirely truthful. As he put it to Yugi, **They're just like Bakura!** Yugi was trying to coax him out of his depression. Bakura was happily filling Ryou's mind with images of painful ways to kill Malik. Ryou was busy trying to ignore him.

The Mangler smashed a chair over the Exterminator's head. Marik smiled triumphantly.

Then, a scream and several shouts rang out. A young, female snack vendor had walked by calling, "Candy! Candy right here!" A second later, she had been literally assaulted by a 'stupid lunatic' as she was to describe him later.

"I need some!" Bakura announced loudly, snatching as many boxes as possible. "You have to pay for that!" Ryou yelled desperately.

"How long have you stopped him from having sugar?" Yugi asked Ryou, wide- eyed.

"Since this morning, when he devoured all the Lucky Charms!" Ryou said. "'Kura, STOP!"

Just at that moment, Bakura was hit on the head by the Millennium Puzzle. Yami was wielding it by the chain with remarkable accuracy. Bakura looked surprised for a moment, then fell over.

"Stupid crazy people!" the vendor screamed. "I'm notifying my supervisor!" She stormed away.

"Wait, I can pay---" Ryou started to call after her. "Oh, great. Now we'll be accused of stealing."

"I feel better now," Yami informed Yugi, smiling.

"No!" Marik said suddenly. "These contests are rigged! I will not pay you! You obviously have inside information!"

"Listen, pal, we bet fair and square!" the man said angrily. "You don't look tough enough to pick a fight with m-" Then he froze. Literally. He was unable to move. The Millennium Rod's glow faded as Marik smiled smugly.

"Okay, this is probably our cue to go," Ryou said nervously to Yugi. Irritated wrestling fans were glaring at the six of them.

"Agreed," said Yugi. "Come on, Yami! Help Ryou carry Bakura, please?" Yami seemed about to argue, until Yugi gave him his best puppy-dog eyes. "And unfreeze that man? Wait until we're farther away," he added, glancing at the angry expression on the man's face. Yami nodded.

"And, I'll say it again, THIS IS NOT THERAPY, MALIK!" shouted Ryou as they left the arena as fast as possible, given that they were hauling along an unconscious Bakura.

A/N: Heh heh. Nope, definitely not therapeutic. Thanks to the Suffering Muse, who gave me the wrestling idea, and thanks to everyone who's reviewed! ^____________^ Please leave me a review, cause I love getting them!