A/N: Hello, readers! I would like to say a few words now. I mean besides the ones I just said. I have gotten two reviews suggesting I add Kaiba and Jounouchi to Ryou and Yugi's plans. I wanted to ask what everyone else thought. I, personally, could think of some interesting twists if I added those two...but give me your opinion! Okay? Oh, and, MalletWielderofDoom (love the new name! ^_^) commented that Marik and Malik were the only couple who really got along...I think my perception of them this way came from this one fanart pic I saw. It's at http://www.janime.biz/images/FanArt/Malik/01/17.jpg . I hope the link comes up when I upload this, or you'll have to type it in yourself. There's a Yami/Yugi one I like a lot, too, but I don't have the link immediately handy. Anyway, it's very cute, with both of them sitting on the grass together. It's on the same site, so go look! And also, there's a lot of good Tomb Robber Bakura pics there.

Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Yu-Gi-Oh. I just like messing with the characters' heads. Heh.

"Yugi?"

"Hmm?"

"I was just reading a self-help book."

Yugi looked up from his Duel Monsters magazine. "Did it help?"

"Well, it said to be happy, you should set yourself realistic goals," Ryou told him. "You know how we're trying to get Yami, Bakura, Marik, and Malik to be friends?"

"Oh, yeah," Yugi said, "I forgot that was what we were trying to do. I thought we were trying not to die."

"No, if we wanted to do that, we could just avoid each other," Ryou said with a grim laugh. "Anyway, I thought we could set ourselves a new, more attainable goal."

"Like what?" Yugi asked curiously.

"Well, like enlisting Bakura and Yami to help us turn Marik and Malik into piles of dust," Ryou suggested.

"Good idea!" Yugi replied, laughing.

"Yes, excellent," a voice purred. Both boys jumped.

"'Kura!" Ryou yelped. "You scared me!" Then his eyes widened. "You heard that?!"

"Absolutely," the Tomb Robber said. "It's one of the best ideas you've ever had."

"One of them?" Ryou gave his yami a strange look. "What other ideas of mine have you liked?" Bakura smiled and whispered something into his ear. Ryou turned an interesting shade of pink. "Oh."

"I'll go tell the Pharaoh about your new idea!" Bakura said brightly. "I'm certain he'll love it."

Before Ryou or Yugi could say anything, he was gone.

"I thought he was busy with the Internet?" Yugi asked Ryou.

"Ah, um, he was," Ryou said, still blushing a bit. "Maybe Yami kicked him out?"

"I don't think so," Yugi informed him. "There would have been more screams and explosions. Anyway, Yami's upstairs watching Egypt week on the History channel. He wouldn't leave that for the Net."

Ryou sighed. "Well, now we're going to have to explain to the both of them that we didn't mean it."

"Yami, did Bakura talk to you?" Yugi called as the hikaris walked up the stairs.

"Yes, he did," Yami replied from the bedroom. "He said we're going swimming."

"Well that's a relief," Yugi sighed, then frowned and ran into the room with Yami. "Wait. Swimming? What?"

"I took the liberty of deciding what our next activity will be," Bakura announced cheerfully. It seemed he had materialized next to Ryou.

"ACK!" Ryou pronounced, opening his eyes wide. *You almost gave me a heart attack!*

**So, what do you think, Ryou? You like my idea?**

*Um...should I?*

Meanwhile, Yugi was questioning Yami. (Um, you and Bakura don't have anything-er-planned, right?)

((No, of course not,)) Yami replied. ((At least, I don't think so,)) he added. ((He was making some sort of evil speech a moment ago, but they were showing my great grandfather's tomb, so I don't know what he said up until 'going swimming'. Sorry, aibou.))

(That's all right, Yami,) Yugi assured him. (I know you love Egypt week. But Yami,) Yugi said, remembering the last time they'd gone swimming, (If we go to the pool, you have to promise to wear swim trunks.)

((Of course, hikari,) Yami said, sounding a bit surprised. ((I recall what happened the last time. I don't want you to be upset over that again.))

(Promise you'll wear them /the whole time/,) Yugi told his dark firmly.

((I swear I will, koi.))

(And I wasn't exactly the one who was upset,) Yugi said fondly. (I think that old lady wasn't happy, though.)

**My, you are suspicious, hikari,** Bakura said to Ryou, laughing.

*It's just that we let two lunatics plan our outing last week,* Ryou responded in an irritated-but-patient way. *I think there's a monthly limit on that.*

**Oh, come on,** Bakura pleaded. **A nice relaxing pool would be so-**

*Don't start,* Ryou snapped. *Okay, fine. You plan it. But if anything happens, I'll know it's /your/ fault.*

@@@@@@@@@

"This was not my fault, hikari," Bakura stated. "I hope you don't think so- ?" he raised an eyebrow.

Ryou managed to say, "No, 'Kura, I'm not even suspicious."

"/I/ wore a bathing suit, Yugi," Yami said, with a pained expression.

All Yugi could say was, "Uh-huh." He wore an expression of complete shock. Ryou, Bakura, Yami, and Yugi had met at Domino City Public Pool at the prearranged time of two o'clock. Marik and Malik, however, had decided on arriving early...minus bathing suits.

Yugi, personally, could have credited it as an honest mistake. After all, Yami had been completely clueless as to the fact that one needed to be properly attired to swim in this day and age. Yes, Yugi would have written it off to that...except that he'd been swimming with Malik before, and at that point, the Egyptian had been perfectly well aware of swimming pool dress code.

"Finally, that annoying man left," Marik announced from the pool. "His shouting really took away from the relaxing atmosphere."

"It's called a LIFEGUARD!" Ryou yelled back. "He JUST ran by us, SCREAMING that he was going to call the police!"

"You need to wear something to swim," Yami informed the two helpfully. "You idiotic fools."

"The pool is far less crowded this way," Malik pointed out.

"So, Ryou," Bakura said conversationally. "May I go through with my plan to drown them?"

"Your what?" Ryou asked dazedly.

"Oh, that's right, I didn't tell you," Bakura 'remembered'. "The reason we came to swim was because I thought it would be the best, quietest way to kill them. Don't you agree?"

"Um, sure."

"Okay, now we have to get out of here before the police come and arrest us all for indecent exposure," Yugi said worriedly.

"They won't ever be getting out of that pool," Bakura fairly cackled.

"Oh good. Homocide," Yugi groaned.

"Hmm. It might be a good idea," Ryou said speculatively.

"You know, swimming really is better without these 'swim trunks'," Yami told Yugi thoughtfully. "In Ancient Egypt-"

"I hear sirens, really close," Yugi interrupted suddenly.

"Kill them, quick!" Ryou told Bakura, who grinned. "Er-no, wait, I didn't mean that..."

Fortunately, it was right then that the police actually arrived. "Everybody freeze!"

Unfortunately, it was right about then that Bakura had pulled out a knife from somewhere.

@@@@@@@@@

Later, at the police station

"Hey, this is actually very relaxing," Ryou told Yugi. "We should have done this earlier."

"What, gone to the police station to bail someone out?" Yugi asked. "Yeah, I'm wondering why we hadn't thought of this before."

((Please, aibou?)) Yami pleaded with Yugi for the seventh time. ((I want to go back there and laugh at them.))

(No, Yami,) Yugi replied, although sorely tempted.

"Bakura Ryou?" A police officer asked.

"Yes, that's me," Ryou sighed.

"You're paying the bail on-" the officer squinted at a piece of paper. "Bakura Yami?"

"Yes," Ryou sighed again.

"Come on back and get him," the officer said.

Bakura was being held in a cell with Marik and Malik. "Thank you for bailing me out, hikari," he said smugly as the policeman opened the cell door.

"And us?" Marik asked, looking anxious for the first time in his life (or death, or whatever).

Ryou rolled his eyes and walked out, dragging a smirking Bakura along.

"You'll be sorry!" Malik screeched after them.

"They should be thankful we brought them their clothes," Ryou muttered.

A/N: They needed that, I think. A couple days in prison ought to be character building for those two...or not. I don't remember who all reviewed in for swimming, but it was several people, who I will list when I get un- lazy enough to look it up. Thank you very much to everyone who's reviewed!