A/N: Hello. I am a bad little girl. I have not written since…forever? I am so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will try and make this nice and long to make up for my terrible, terrible, terribleness.

A lot of stuff has happened though so I have not had too much chance to write such as…sleeping, eating, drama classes on Saturdays, some more sleeping and eating, going in a trip to London (which I must say was most excellent!) and SEEING BOWLING FOR SOUP ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes those capitals were intentional, because I rocked my little socks off and had a fantabulous time!!!!!!!!!!!!

But that's why I haven't written anything for a while.

Anywhoozles, here's chapter four of Closet Cases!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: I'm sorry if Hermione seems obsessed with bacon or I overuse the word crispy, the title warned you though!!!!

PPS: A massive thanks, grasis, merci etc. to all my wonderful reviewers!!!! You guys should be bathed in ice cream and showered with sprinkles!!!

Mmm…sprinkles!

Chapter 4: Gestures With Bacon and An Overuse Of the Word Crispy

Ron awoke the next day in a room that very closely resembled the Hogwarts Hospital Wing.

But it wasn't.

He was actually in the palace's hospital wing, which was only different because of the fact that there was a dirty great sign saying 'Royal Palace Hospital Wing', just next to the door.

Ron gave a despairing moan as he read the sign and he rolled sat up with an expression of pure hatred towards that notice.

A rotund nurse heard his moan and bustled over with a trolley, full of dubious potions and pills.

"Ah, you're awake are you? Good. Let's have a look at you then, came in with a slight concussion and mild dementia didn't you? Amnesia too, according to Potter..."

Ron heard nothing of this, as he was too busy staring at the large woman in front of him. It was Madame Pomfrey, but she was wearing a much grander uniform than usual. It had little gold trimmings on the pockets and on the lining.

He was literally shaken from his thoughts as Madame Pomfrey's Doppelganger grabbed him roughly by the chin and yanked it open.

"Say aah. "

Ron did so and she stuck a stick in his mouth. She pulled the wood out roughly and tutted.

"Who are you?"

"Ron Weasley."

"How old are you?"

"16, 17 in March."

"Who am I?"

"Madame Pomfrey?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, this bed could be used by a sick person you know. Take this for your concussion and leave. You're perfectly fine to go back to work in the kitchens, you're just wasting a bed …"

She wandered off, muttering about beds, even though the whole place was deserted apart from her and Ron, while Ron just sat there like a lemon.

"So it's all real." He thought, as he swallowed the small, green pill. "I am in another world where kids work in kitchens and Hermione is a princess…I am going to kill Seamus and Dean when I go home…"

~**~

Ron got up, got dressed and stumbled down many, many staircases and through many, many hallways (and got very, very lost) until he eventually found the kitchens.

Harry was standing by a large stove, frying something, while Snape was barking orders at him. Other fellow Gryffindors and people from Hogwarts were rushing round with cutlery and plates

"Hurry up, Potter! The Royal Family want their bacon now, not next week! And they don't want it crispy!" He yelled.

'Hermione likes crispy bacon…" thought Ron to himself, as he plucked an apron from the rack above him.

As he tied the apron strings around himself, Snape spotted him and smiled nastily.

"Ah…Mr Weasley, we are glad to be graced with your presence. Maybe you should take the bacon through to the family, since you're on personal terms with the Princess…or maybe after your amnesia you can't remember who she is?"

'That's it. I'm going to kill Percy too. Little snitch. Snape's been on my list for a looooong time already.' Thought Ron as he shot a death glare to Snape's back.

"Take this to the Royal Dining Room…that's upstairs, down the hall and to the left if you can't remember."

Snape thrust the plate of bacon to Ron and he continued to plague Harry with orders for more fried bread and goat's milk.

Ron set off towards the dining room, plate in hand. As he climbed the stairs, more servants rushed past him, carrying jugs and mugs.

He turned left into the dining room and walked along to the great table at the other end of the room.

When he got there he saw a very sad sight indeed.

At one end of the table sat the King and Queen and a very long way down at the opposite end was Hermione. She was sat completely by herself, as far away as possible from her parents who were talking amongst themselves, ignoring her completely.

Ron's mouth dried up and a lump came to his throat when he saw her. Hermione was looking at her plate with an expression of great sadness. He knew she was trying not to cry; it was he expression she wore when she was at her saddest but she was trying to keep her pride.

Ron just stood miserably in the centre of the room. The King saw this and shouted at him to bring the bacon up here at once.

Ron took the bacon towards him and watched him take a large stack of rashers. The King then exclaimed that one was burnt and shoved it back with a disgusted face.

Ron then started the long walk down to where Hermione was sat.

She looked up at him with the same puzzled expression from last night in the ballroom.

Ron smiled gently and turned the plate round towards the crispiest piece on the plate, which she took with a grateful smile. Hermione looked at Ron and thanked him heartily.

He simply nodded and left for the kitchens again.

Hermione's expression remained perplexed, she was sure she knew that boy from somewhere…

She shook her head and started her breakfast…

But the way he had deliberately given her the crispiest bacon…it reminded her of something…

Flashback…

Hermione had just sat down to breakfast one morning. Harry was at Quidditch practice and Ron had come down early to get them a seat. 

A plate of bacon sat in front of them on the table, hot and fresh. A lot of it had gone but some pieces remained, though they were pale and had no crunchy edges.

"Bother." Said Hermione as she looked at the plate in dismay.

"What's up?" Asked Ron.

"No crispy pieces."

Ron looked at his plate and smiled. He picked up two pieces of bacon and put them on to Hermione's plate.

"Oh, thank you Ron." Said Hermione, gratefully. 

"S'ok. I know you like it." He said with his lopsided grin.

End Flashback…

'Where on Earth did I get that from?' she wondered.

Princess Hermione just sighed and ate her breakfast, determined to find out more about that redheaded servant boy.