A/N: I'm back! It's been a while, and I grovel as best I can but I can explain! School has been hellish; it's my big 'decision' year at school, deciding on subjects for my dreaded GCSE's so that means there have been parents' evenings, homework and having to go to school in general. And I don't even choose the subjects till June! Also, a little bit of writers block, hopefully that's now cured, and I've recently been completely dying of flu!
I am now recovered, aside from a nasty cough L, but I will now get on with the new chapter but not before I thank my lovely reviewers. You guys are awesome and I'm sorry I've kept you waiting…again. By the way, all your questions shall be answered, though you may absolutely hate me for some of the answers (but the Percy thing? That's just him being a pompous git, J) and I might just get round to fixing the error, thanks to Stray for pointing that out.
Peace Out!
Love Xodox.
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Chapter Eight: Nelson The Hairy And Harry: King Of Boogie
Ron carefully opened the door of the servants' chamber and stepped out on to the candlelit landing. Despite the dark and his exceedingly large feet, he nimbly made his way down the stairs and took a couple of tentative steps into a corridor he hoped he recognised, when he heard some muttering from behind him.
He quickly hid behind a rather ungainly statue of someone called 'Nelson the Hairy' and held his breath.
"Are you quite sure it will work?"
"Of course, your highness, I shall woo her before ze next ball you hold."
"You've not much time. Our next ball is for the full moon in two weeks."
"King Nish-Ell-Arse…"
"It's Nicholas. Nick-O-Lass."
"Yes, King Nickleglass, she shall be wooed. I am very determined."
Ron's expression was decidedly sour as he watched the two men walk past him.
'That hulking great lump hasn't got a chance.' Ron thought angrily as he used Nelson's immense nose to pull himself up.
He looked around before creeping softly from behind the statue and pattering down the hallway. Ron came to a fork in his path and, hoping that luck would finally be on his side, hurriedly picked the right and snuck down it.
Luck was definitely nowhere near Ron. The right path led down to the royal bedrooms but as he turned to dash away, he caught a glimpse of Crookshanks. Ron, unsure as to what he was doing, followed the cat towards what could only be Hermione's door and crouched down outside it. Crookshanks scratched at the door and meowed demandingly. It opened a crack and he slipped inside, his furry form opening the door a bit wider. It remained open and Ron, being Ron, snuck a quick look inside.
The princess flopped onto her bed and opened a book, quickly being absorbed in its pages. A loose strand of hair fell in front of her face and she gently brushed it back, tucking it behind her ear. As she sighed softly and turned the page, Crookshanks suddenly bounced onto her bed and promptly sat on the book.
"Silly thing," she said quietly. She then proceeded to quickly scratch him behind the ears and shoved him off of the book. He gave her a filthy look so she gave in and scratched his furry little belly. Hermione smiled and said he was spoiled, got up and as she got him some catnip she closed the door.
Ron exhaled loudly, his knees cracking as he stood. He could watch her all day; she amazed him even when she was doing the most mundane of things.
He grinned as he ran in the opposite directions,
'Maybe luck was on my side tonight.' He thought with a smile, as he finally found the kitchen and Harry waiting patiently inside.
**~**
"…And so I've ended up here."
"Wait, wait, wait…let me get this straight. You are either
in a coma or some kind of parallel universe, the Princess is your best friend,
along with me of course, and you ended up her through a cupboard and are a
'wizard'. You found your wand in the garden this afternoon, you don't know how
to get back to wherever you were before and the only person who can help you
now would be me. This is correct?"
"As far as I know."
"OK. Prove it."
"Well…I can't prove how I got here, or that Hermione is my best friend, or where I come from…"
"Thought not…"
"But, I can prove that I'm a wizard!"
"Then please go ahead."
Ron looked around the kitchen, scratching his nose thoughtfully. His eyes finally settle on a large and violently purple pudding that sat on a worktop. It was decorated with delicate splodges of goo, made to look like little flowers and smelt rather strongly of…purple. Ron grinned and looked at Harry.
"See that pudding?"
"Yes…" Harry looked warily at his friend.
Ron turned to face forward and produced his wand from his pocket. He smiled again and concentrated on the spell.
"Wingardium Leviosa!"
The dessert rose steadily upwards and remained suspended in midair. Ron made it wiggle madly in the air and was going to attempt a loop de loop but remembered that the bowl was filled with a creamy mess so he decided to let it rest on the table next to him.
Harry did look stunned, but a hint of scepticism still lingered.
"Still don't believe me?"
Ron smirked evilly and pointed his wand at Harry's legs. Harry looked worried, yet it didn't really occur to him to get out of the way thus…
"Tarantallegra!"
Harry's legs began to jiggle and twitch uncontrollably, jerking and dancing all they could. At first he started off with a high-speed foxtrot but it suddenly switched to an Irish jig and he ended up at the other side of the kitchen. Ron howled with laughter as his friend began an energetic samba, the expression on Harry's face completely horrified as he started a bizarre Cossack dance into the cupboard.
Things were getting out of hand. Harry abruptly did an outrageous tap dance into several trays of cuttlefish sandwiches, which clattered noisily on the floor.
Ron, regaining some sense, cancelled the spell and shoved the trays back onto a worktop nearby.
He dragged a rather out of breath Harry up from the floor and ran blindly into a corridor. The familiar sight of Nelson the Hairy came into view and the two of them ducked behind it. Trying to catch his breath, Ron breathed heavily as he watched the enraged figure of Snape flow past them and into the cuttlefish-covered kitchen.
A smile spread slowly over Ron's features and he looked over at Harry.
"Now do you believe me?" The smile in his voice was obvious, as was the reason that Harry raised his fist and punched him on the nose.
**~**
A/N: A bit short, I know, I know. But I'll get there! Don't worry, everything will eventually happen and it'll all go out with a bang!
Now, if you'll just be ever so kind and give me a review I'll give you some lovely, lovely biccies, doesn't that sound nice?
Lol, adieu mes amis!
