A/N: OK, this ENTIRE fic is dedicated to treanz-alyce, and the actual thing is coming tomorrow, OK? Disclaimer: I don't own Garth Nix, TUF paper towels, or OAKLEY. I don't own the original idea of an owner's manual, Theresa Green does. There are also other really cool owners manuals for TP (ziasfiremage) and HP (treanz-alyce) and POTC (various people), you can check out Theresa Green's bio for those and more. Please R&R when I post the rest!

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~CONGRATULATIONS!~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You may now consider yourself a proud owner of a unique model created just for you by Garth Nix Inc.!

To keep your model in fine, working condition, follow the instructions and guidelines in this manual. Your model will arrive in a packed crate or carton. Before opening it, read the entire manual. We thank you for your co- operation.

If you have any questions or comments about your new Garth Nix Inc. model, do not hesitate to contact our management.

Garth Nix Inc.

1946 Belisaere Avenue, Old Kingdom Postal Code: 259F36A7

Phone: (285) 478-4649

Fax: (848) 274-1947

Manager: Peachy Garlic

We hope you are pleased with your purchase, and hope you buy from Garth Nix Inc. again sometime soon.

OFFERS: Set the GN Inc. site to your homepage! Buy TUF paper towels, the best money can buy! GN Inc. is a proud sponsor of TUF paper towels. OAKLEY is proud to present: Super Shading Transparent Sunglasses! Call OAKLEY for further details.