"Doctor! Listen to all this racket! Will you ever read the manual for this insufferably primitive, moody machine? Where have you landed us now? Or have we even landed yet" Romana's irritated shouts were muffled by the thick door between the control room and her own.

"I'm sorry, I can barely hear you. She's being a bit stubborn today, you know. You'll have to speak up."

Romana sighed haughtily, lifted her eyebrows at her reflection in the mirror, and emerged in the control room. As usual, the Doctor was to be found kneeling on the floor tending to one of the old Type 40 TARDIS's many ailments.

"How do I look?" Romana had decked herself out in a red clown nose, an outlandish, purple and green sun hat, a matching dress with Renaissance-type flair to it, and additional and somewhat unnecessary pair of pinstripe trousers, and the highest, most unreasonable heels she could find. She wondered when the Doctor would notice.

"Oh, fine, fine. Listen, you wouldn't happen to have any horseradish on you, would you-"

For the first time since Romana had entered the room, the Doctor looked up.

"Hmm... That's an interesting outfit choice, Romana. I can hardly see such attire coming in useful on Eärkos, but suit yourself. It's only a primitive, simple vacation spot. They won't mind. Goodness. I will definitely be grateful to take a well-earned holiday."

"Negative, master. The humans on the holiday-planet Eärkos do dress in a manner similar to the attire of Misstress Romana." Apparently, K-9 had been lurking unnoticed in a corner.

"Ah. Thank you, K-9--" began the Doctor.

"You're welcome, Master."

"--for that input. I don't know where I would be without the fashion tips I get from a naked robotic dog." K-9's pert little head drooped sadly at this last comment. He may be a naked robotic dog, but he can still understand sarcasm and he does not appreciate it.

The TARDIS seemed aware of the uncomfortable silence that followed in which Romana shot venomous glances at the Doctor without him noticing as he went back to work with his repairs. Perhaps this was why it (or as the Doctor would say, she) gave a tremendous lurch that broke not only the tension in the air, but also the coat hanger that stood next to K-9 in the corner. told the Doctor, Romana and K-9 that they had finally arrived on Eärkos. Or had they?

Not expecting any space-time coordinate errors, the Doctor opened the TARDIS door and peered outside. The surface of the planet they had landed on was oddly shiny and silver. The mercilessly blowing air had the tainted scent of What was it?

"Tevérikk. The machine planet. No humanoids live here. Atmosphere: 70% Argon, 10% Lithium, 10% Gallium, 7.5% Neon, 2.5% Radon." K-9's eyes suddenly flashed red he rolled back into the TARDIS.

"Radon," said the Doctor," There is only one species that can survive with an atmosphere of Radon.