Author's notes in the first chapter.  Not really important, anyway.

~~~~~

-cut to first commercial break-

Lando Calrissian, complete with his trademark cape, is on-screen holding a bottle of Whyren's Reserve Malt Liquor Beverage Product.

LANDO, smiling:  I've been in some pretty tight situations over the years, and I've learned that there are few things you can rely on.  But no matter what, I could always count on my friends, and I could always count on this.

Lando cheerfully holds up the bottle.

LANDO:  Whyren's Reserve Malt Liquor Beverage Product.  Whyren's has been making it for decades, and through the years, the quality and precision of Whyren's has never faltered.  Just as good today as it was forty years ago.

Lando pauses and takes a sip.

LANDO:  Mmm…  but don't let the smooth taste fool you. 

Suddenly, a bevy of beautiful females of all species appear and crowd around Lando who happily raises his bottle.

LANDO:  Whyren's Reserve… works every time.

-cut back to the show-