See first chapter for author's notes.  (There aren't many of 'em anyway.)

~~~~~

-cut to first commercial break-

Interview Interlude

*on screen, Leia is sitting against a white backdrop.  Text beneath her reads: The Sister*

Leia, laughing: Luke has never really cared too much about style or fashion.  He's also got this real affinity for the color black, which I've never completely understood.  Might have something to do with our father…

*cut to Han, against the same backdrop.  Text beneath reads: The Best Friend*

Han, shaking his head: The kid looks like he's about twelve, if ya ask me.  Somethin' to do with the hair, I think.  I dunno, maybe the ladies really go for that look *laughs*  Kinda reminds me of an Ewok, personally.

*cut to Wedge, against same backdrop.  Text beneath reads: Former Roommate*

Wedge, looking thoughtful but smiling: Yeah, I lived with him for a few years awhile back.  There was no doubt about which part of the room was his.  Just look for the side with absolutely no decoration and no sense of style.  That was Luke. 

*cut back to Leia*

Leia, a little confused:  His hair?  What's wrong with his hair!  I think he looks sweet.  Like a little Ewok.

*cut to Wedge*

Wedge, smirking: I'm not authorized to comment on Luke's hairstyle. 

End Interview Interlude

Luke and Kyan are standing in an upscale-looking salon filled with the most modern furniture imaginable and flatscreens covering the walls displaying various shots of modern art.  A woman comes bouncing over to him, looking entirely too fashionable to be working in a salon.

Kyan: This is Kendra.

Kendra descends on Luke, who takes a step backward before he can really help himself.  She runs her fingers through his hair, pushing it off his forehead.

Kendra, over-emoting horribly: Oh, honey, this hair… you could do so much more with it than this!

Kyan is now poking around Luke's head, too:  So, what do you think, Kendra?  Lighten it up a little, take some of this *he gives Luke's bangs a little shake, giving him a tousled, just-got-done-pod-racing look* off, get rid of the split ends?

Luke, eyes up, trying to see what the two are doing: I have split ends?

Kyan, ignoring Luke:  We also need to get him some decent hair products, probably some moisture-rich shampoo, some sort of conditioner, maybe some gel or some wax, something to give it some texture.

Luke, confused: I thought hair wasn't supposed to be waxy.

Kendra, talking over him: Oh, definitely, definitely.  *She grabs one of his hands and doesn't catch Luke's look of surprise*  And we also need to do something about his nails. 

Luke, making his voice heard: A manicure?!  No. 

Kyan: Oh, c'mon, I get them all the time!

Luke just raises his eyebrows and gives him a my-point-exactly look, but Kendra is already dragging him away by the wrist.

-cut-

Thom is in Luke's apartment, frantically painting and muttering to himself: Must cover the gray, must cover the gray. 

He turns to the camera.

Thom: No matter what the situation, you should always cover the gray.

-cut-

Luke is sitting in a salon chair.  He's got pieces of foil sticking out of his head at odd angles and Kendra is busily filing and buffing his nails.

Luke, looking upward toward his scalp: Is this supposed to burn?

Kendra, never ceasing the buffing and filing: It might sting a little.  That's just the bleach.

Luke: No, no, this definitely burns.  It—wait a minute, bleach??

-cut-

Carson is still wearing Luke's old brown robe and is standing on the street in front of the salon, frantically waving his hands at people.

Carson, intoning gravely as he waves a hand at a woman in an unflattering dress: You do not ever want to wear that shade of purple again.

He pauses and waits for a reaction but she continues down the street.  

Carson, waving a hand at a man with severely slicked-down hair: You don't need that much gel.

This time, the recipient actually turns and repeats, offended: I don't need that much gel?

Carson, staring at his hand and looking stunned, in an awed whisper: It worked…

-cut-

Kendra is standing behind Luke, snipping and combing and touching up her work.  Finally, she gives Luke's chair a spin so that he can see himself in the mirror and Kyan can also inspect her work.  Luke's eyes widen terrifically.

Luke, shocked: I'm blonde!

Kyan, off-handedly: You were already blonde.

Luke keeps trying to run his hands through his hair, styled very differently now and much shorter in most places.  Kendra keeps smacking his hands away from his head.

Kendra, proudly: Look how much more pulled-together he looks!

Kyan, grinning: I love the highlights.  Really gives the style some depth.

Kendra: And the way it's *smacks Luke's hands* cut, you can wear it forward and smooth for a *smacks Luke's hands again* really nice formal look, or you can tousle it up and *smack* get more of a carefree feel.  Personally, I—will you stop that?!

Luke: It's so… short.

Kendra, looking at Luke directly: It's trendy!  Besides, now we get to see that pretty face you always hid under that mess of hair.

Luke blushes and glances down at his hands folded neatly in his lap, then frowns.

Luke: Hey!  I thought you said you wouldn't paint my nails!

Kendra: You're calcium deficient.  Weak nails.  *pauses as Luke's expression doesn't change, then says defensively*  It's just a little clear polish to strengthen them.

Luke, shaking his head: You painted my nails.

-cut-

Luke and Kyan are standing outside the salon, Carson still waving his hands at people.  He stops when he notices Luke.

CARSON: Wow, don't you look amazing!

KYAN, happily: Doesn't he?  I mean look at what the highlights did for his complexion, and we finally got that hair out of his face so you can see his eyes.

CARSON: Aww, look how adorable you are!

Luke just smiles sheepishly in response.

KYAN, proudly: And he was a pretty good sport about it all, too.  *to Luke* How do you feel?

LUKE, still smiling: Actually, I feel good...  The color change was a little surprising, but I think I like it. *seems surprised to hear himself admit it*  Yeah, it's good!

CARSON, eagerly: And now... now we've got... SHOPPING!

Luke suddenly doesn't look so happy anymore.

-cut-

Luke and Carson are standing in the middle of a large, fashionable store.  Luke is still squinting a little in displeasure and patting at the top of his head.

CARSON, pulling a vibrant green shirt from the rack: Now this brings out your eyes!

LUKE, frowning: My eyes are blue.

CARSON, holding the shirt up to him: Yes, but the green shirt makes your eyes look bluer.  It makes them pop!

LUKE, muttering to himself: They're popping, all right.

Carson circles the Jedi and cocks his head appraisingly.

CARSON: You work out, huh?

LUKE, trying not to blush: Y-yeah?

CARSON, rolling his eyes dramatically and pulling at the loose fabric of Luke's pants: Well, Sith, honey, show yourself off!

LUKE, side-stepping away from Carson: Well, I'm not really comfortable with--

Carson pays him no attention and instead grabs a pair of leather pants off the nearest rack, holds them up to Luke, and gives a perfunctory nod.

CARSON, in a definitive tone: Yes, put these on.

LUKE, squirming now and uncertain: Leather?

Carson suddenly looks horrified.

CARSON: Stars, you're right!  *checks the tag on the pants*  Oh, thank the Force, they're synthetic!  *addresses the camera*  We don't advocate cruelty to animals for the sake of high fashion.

LUKE, beginning to look panicky: Are you sure they're synthetic?  Because you know, sometimes they use mostly synthetic materials but then they'll use real animals, too, and--

Carson scans the store and sees a group of young women browsing in the shoe section.  He flounces over to them happily.

CARSON: Okay, girls, I need your opinion.  See that man over there?

GIRL #1: Oooh, the hottie with the kickin' hairstyle?

CARSON: Yep.

GIRL #2: Hey, he's a Jedi, isn't he?  Those robes... hey, that's Luke Skywalker!  Ohmigod, I have pictures of him everywhere in my room!  He is sex on two legs!

GIRL #3: *random squealing*

LUKE, trying desperately to not listen: Oh no…

-cut-

Thom has finished his paint job and is now sitting on a much-more-comfortable-looking chair, looking satisfied with himself and nibbling at a plate of rehydrated vegetables and Snerf.

THOM: Y'know, it's not really as bad as everyone says.

-cut-

Carson is still standing in front of the group of girls in the department store.

CARSON: Don't you think he'd look absolutely fabulous in those leather pants he's holding?

GIRL #1, suddenly wearing a shrewd look: We'll tell you our opinion on one condition.  We have to actually see him in those pants.

GIRL #2: Ohmigod, Tally, that's a great idea!  Gods, I'll be fantasizing for weeks!

GIRL #3: *random squealing*

CARSON: Oooh, I love a good bargain.  You got it.  You can be our panel of judges!

LUKE, giving one last plea: Leather?  Seriously?

CARSON: Yes!

GIRL #1: Definitely.

GIRL #2: Ohhh baby, puh-LEEZE put 'em on!

GIRL #3: *random squealing*

CARSON, to the camera while nodding toward #3: I like her.

-cut to second commercial break-