Author's Notes: Well, shucks! Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful feedback so far!! I had no idea when I plopped this baby up here that it would get such a warm and loving reception. I appreciate everyone's comments and y'know, it's just too damn fun writing this!
~~~~~
Carson is standing with the group of girls outside the dressing room, tapping his foot impatiently.
CARSON, with an audible eye-roll: Just come out already! *turns to the camera* Oh, if only I were so lucky.
The girls are giggling amongst themselves, every now and then giving each other the typically girly arm-grasp in anticipation.
LUKE, from inside the room: All right, but just so you know, I don't think they fit.
CARSON: They don't fit? Can you zip them up?
LUKE, dubiously: Well, yes, but-
CARSON: Then they fit.
Luke cautiously pushes open the fitting room door, surreptitiously keeping one hand in front of. himself. He's wearing deep burgundy leather pants that couldn't be more fitted if they were painted on. His shirt, a strange gauzy sea blue, is fastened up to his chin, and he's trying to hold closed the bright green jacket, already at a disadvantage as the jacket's various pieces-arms, collar, front panels, and back-are held together with some sort of black see-through webbing.
LUKE: They're too tight.
GIRL #2: Oh no, they aren't!
GIRL #1, with awe: It's. it's everything I'd hoped it would be.
GIRL #3: *bursts into glorious overwhelmed tears*
Carson shakes his head with a noise of annoyance and approaches Luke, who instinctively backs up. Carson hurriedly unbuttons the top three buttons to the shirt and slips some sort of strap through a few strategically-placed slots in the jacket, thereby keeping it held back.
LUKE, shaking his head: I can't wear this.
CARSON, scandalized: This is cutting-edge couture, my friend! You look amazing in it!
LUKE, frowning: It doesn't match!
CARSON: Matching outfits went out with the stormtroopers, honey. This is the wave of the future.
Luke sighs and studies himself in the mirror, cringing as he notices the giggling girl entourage behind him. Trying not to attract any notice, he vaguely waves one hand as he looks at them in the mirror.
LUKE, muttering: You don't like leather pants.
GIRL #2: I dunno, maybe leather's not quite him.
Luke sags in relief and turns to go back to the fitting room to take off the pants, which are also incredibly warm.
GIRL #1: Yeah, I think he's more of a spandex kind of guy.
Luke's shoulders slump.
CARSON, calling after him: And stand up straight! Everyone loves confidence!
-cut-
Luke is standing in the foyer of what's obviously a winery, Ted and Jai on one side, Carson on the other.
TED: So, you're going to a Senate dinner. The good news is that you won't have to do much in the way of food preparation, but you should always know a few basics, which is what we're going to cover today. First we're going to talk wine.
Luke just nods, for once not intimidated or uncomfortable, as he follows Ted and Jai to a table off to the side. Almost instantly, a droid appears carrying a tray filled with various wineglasses.
TED, taking one and passing it to Luke: This is a red wine, a cabernet sauvignon.
-cut-
Clip montage of Thom decorating Luke's apartment. We see him installing some complicated-looking candle sconces above the enormous tub in the bathroom, painting an intricate pattern of sponging on the living room walls, and organizing Luke's collection of music, which Thom can't stop laughing at.
He holds up one of the albums for the camera.
THOM: The Starlight Vocal Band. We hope Jai is picking up some new music.
-cut-
Luke is sitting at the table, his cheeks a little flushed and looking mildly disheveled. He takes a large swig out of one of the wine glasses in front of him.
LUKE, slurring a little: I like this one. 's not too sweet.
TED, to the droid: I think we're just about done here.
Luke tries to reach across Ted to snag one last glass but Ted intercepts his hand.
JAI, to the camera: Who knew Jedi were such lightweights!
LUKE, indignant: 'm not a lightweight. I jus' don't drink very often.
JAI: I'm not gay. I just don't sleep with women very often.
-cut-
The five of them have returned to Luke's apartment, and Luke, at least for the time, is back in his usual all-black Jedi garb.
CARSON, with a hand over Luke's eyes:
Are you ready to see your fabulous new apartment?
LUKE: S-sure.
Carson takes his hand away with a flourish and Luke's eyes widen dramatically. He blinks a few times and then the camera pans back so we can see what he sees.
His living room, which was once gray with a rainbow variety of secondhand chairs, is now the proud owner of light sage green walls with a vague pattern of slightly darker green sponging. Deep brown leather couches flank the fireplace, and the utilitarian tables and lighting have been replaced by friendlier dark wood and a few strategically placed light panels.
Following Luke to the kitchen, we see that it's been stocked with beautiful new flatware and a table setting for eight in the cabinet. Fresh fruits and vegetables fill baskets lining the counter, and new cooking appliances have replaced the used and/or broken ones.
We move to the bathroom to see that it has been painted a pale indigo, with matching towels and accessories accentuating it. Beyond that, the bedroom is also done in the same shade of indigo and the bedding done in matching, but much much darker, indigo. It looks as if it's made of some sort of synthetic velour.
THOM, expectantly: Well? What do you think?
LUKE, still wide-eyed: I feel like I'm at a hotel I could never afford.
CARSON, immediately: Ooh, can I rent a room here?
LUKE, finally beginning to smile: I don't think Jedi are supposed to have such posh surroundings.
TED: I don't think Jedi are supposed to eat Snerf, either.
THOM: That stuff's not half bad.
LUKE, frowning: I had Snerf in my apartment? Gods, I can't even remember buying it. It probably came with the place!
Thom looks a little ill.
CARSON, excitedly: Okay, boys, pull up some chairs! It's time for us to have a little fashion show!
Luke looks a little ill.
-cut-
Once again, Luke is back in the leather pants, this time wearing a plain crimson shirt which he keeps tugging, desperately trying to pull it down and over his relatively obvious physical attributes.
CARSON, snippily: If you keep pulling
on that, you're going to stretch it all out!
LUKE, under his breath: Exactly.
CARSON, happily ignoring Luke: So this is definitely something that you could wear if you were going out to a nice dinner, having a night on the town. Then this *he picks up a silver cape and swings it around Luke's shoulders* is something you can throw over the top for a more dramatic look.
LUKE, staring down at himself: I feel like Lando Calrissian.
CARSON, disparagingly: Lando never wore anything this trendy in those commercials.
-cut-
Short clip montage of Luke and Carson digging through Luke's new clothing.
-cut-
Luke is standing in tan colored pants that end just below his knees in a strange elastic band. His shirt is a dark green and sleeveless, over which he's wearing a mint-green vest of some undetermined synthetic fiber, and a sheer green coat as well.
CARSON: This is something you can wear
on an everyday basis.
LUKE: What exactly is it you think I do on an everyday basis?
-cut-
Luke is now wearing a pair of flowing, deep blue trousers, a cream-colored tunic, and a matching deep blue knee-length cloak.
All five men applaud.
KYAN: Oh, that is definitely the look for tonight.
CARSON: See, and if you want to make a dramatic entrance *he unhooks the clasp of the cloak* you can whip it off! *yanks the cloak from Luke's shoulders with a swirl of fabric*
LUKE, uncertainly: All. all right.
CARSON, putting the cloak back on him: Here, you try it.
Luke, wearing a helpless confused expression, takes his cloak in one hand and gives a half-hearted tug. It slips from his shoulders rather gracelessly and falls with a soft *whump* sound to the ground.
CARSON, staring dumbstruck and deadpanning: Okay, so you leave the cloak on. No biggie.
-cut-
The Fab Five are standing at the doorway to Luke's apartment, and the group is shaking hands and giving hugs.
CARSON: Remember, it's all in the attitude, no matter what you wear! . but don't wear black.
KYAN: Work the product in from back to front, and make sure to moisturize your skin.
TED: No more Snerf. *pauses* And stick with wine spritzers tonight.
JAI: It's okay to like the Starlight Vocal Band, but, y'know, probably not in public.
THOM: Light the candles. They're scented!
More hugging, hand-shaking, and thank-you's are exchanged, and finally, Luke's door slides shut. He sags weakly against it, then he raises a hand and examines his fingernails.
KYAN, through the door: And don't touch that clear polish!
-cut to last commercial break-
