Author's notes in other parts. Not important. But if you want to actually sing this jingle, sing it to the tune of the "Modern Major General". (Props to Gilbert and Sullivan, and to a dear fanfiction.net writer who wrote "Severus' Sorting Song" to the tune as well. So additional mad props to Textualsphinx.)
~~~~~
-cut to third commercial break-
We see a happy, if goofy-looking, chef in his kitchen (looking much like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets), who suddenly bursts into song, singing and tossing around various kitchen utensils and food.
Ohhhh if you want a yummy treat that's very economical,
A meal for friends and family with a taste that's astronomical,
Repast chock full of nutrients and all good things nutritional,
But still within the limits of good dining so traditional.
We offer a solution that we know you'll find agreeable,
A product you'll enjoy for all the future that's foreseeable.
From culinary institutes to barbecues held by the surf,
You'll always be successful when you cook your dishes using Snerf!
Triumphantly, the chef picks up a can of Snerf.
CHEF: Snerf, synthetic nerf-steak so
delicious, only you'll know it's not the real thing!
Close-up of the can of Snerf while the last line of the jingle repeats.
You'll always be successful when you cook your dishes using Snerf!
-cut back to the show-
