She woke in the morning to an empty bed. She lifted her head and saw Angel,
or rather Angel's feet, in the chair in her living room.
She climbed out of bed slowly and shuffled down the hall. "Hey."
He turned and smiled. "Morning, sleep well?"
She nodded. "What time is it?"
"Eleven thirty."
"We should get to work." She exclaimed. "We're an hour late."
"It's okay, I called Wes and told him we'd be late." He reassured her.
"Did you tell him why?" She asked, suddenly looking alarmed.
"No, I told him we were up late talking and that you were still asleep."
"So, it's my fault, huh?" She smiled, teasing him. "I'd better go take a shower and then we can go."
"Take your time." He told her. "Do you want some coffee?"
She pulled a face and then explained. "If I eat or drink something so soon I'll be sick."
He nodded and watched as she went into the bathroom. "We wouldn't want that."
Angel was shrouded in a thick blanket while Cordelia drove them to the Hyperion in his car.
He ran ahead to get out of the sunlight while Cordelia shut off the engine and walked up the path.
He waited at the door for her, in the shade, and opened the door for her.
"Do I tell them?" She whispered as they went inside.
"It's up to you." He told her and squeezed her arm gently in support.
"Morning!" She called out to the other members of Angel Investigations.
"You're late." Wes said moodily, not looking up from his book.
"I'm pregnant." She replied.
Wes looked up sharply and Fred looked like she'd seen a ghost. Gunn nearly fell off his chair. "Excuse me?" Wes was the first to speak.
"I'm pregnant." She looked to Angel for support and he placed his hand on her back, urging her further into the hotel.
"Since when?" Gunn asked, his attention now on Cordelia instead of his game boy.
"A few weeks." She replied and went to sit at her desk.
"Who's the father?" Wes asked and then blushed. "If you don't mind me asking."
"He's called Brian." She told him. "Brian Green."
"How long have you been dating?" Wes pressed.
"We haven't." She told him, looking down. "I slept with him once and I got pregnant."
"What are you going to do?" Fred asked.
"Are you considering abortion?" Wes wanted to know.
She nodded. "Yeah I am. I don't know what I want to do or what I think I'll do. My doctor says I've got another two weeks before I have to make a decision. After that I'd have to give birth to the foetus in an abortion which I don't want to do. Before that time it will be... easier."
"We're all here for you." Gunn told her with a smile, which she returned.
"Thanks." She lowered her head again and took a deep breath.
"What are we working on here?" Angel asked, swiftly changing the subject, sensing that Cordelia was about to get emotional.
Wes seemed to understand and started to tell Angel about one of their new cases.
Cordelia dabbed at her eyes discretely with a tissue and then booted up her computer, ready to start work. She looked up for a brief second and saw Fred looking at her. "What?"
"Oh, nothing." Fred replied and blushed.
"Go on." Cordelia urged.
"I was just wondering what it feels like knowing you have a baby growing inside of you." The Texan told her.
Cordelia shrugged. "Sometimes I feel great, sometimes I feel like I want to kill myself." Wesley's words to Angel faded and everyone turned to look at her.
"Okay, this isn't going to work." She told them. "Can we just pretend that this is just a normal day? Pretend like I haven't told you?"
"If that's what you want." Wes told her and stated talking to Angel again.
As Wesley droned on about the existence of more Durslar Beasts in the city, Angel's eyes strayed to Cordelia who was typing something into her computer. She was pretending to be strong but deep down he knew he wasn't.
They pretended for two weeks. Cordelia didn't come in the last Friday. Angel tried calling her twice and Wes called her cell three times but she didn't answer. They all had a suspicion where she was. They all remembered her telling them that she had to make a decision in two weeks time and they all could have a good guess that she was at the clinic.
She came in Saturday morning smiling. She was wearing a white linen skirt and a red tie top. She had a pair of sunglasses on her head.
"Morning." Angel told her casually.
"Good morning!" She smiled and went to sit at her desk.
"Do you want some coffee?" Fred asked, getting up to put some on.
She nodded. "Thanks, that would be great."
She flicked through the bills someone had thoughtfully left on her desk and discarded them all as not important.
She stood up. "I'm just nipping to the bathroom Fred, I won't be a minute."
She went to the bathroom and felt everyone's eyes on her back.
When she came out she bumped smack into Angel who was hovering on the other side of the door.
"Did you just listen to me pee?" She asked.
"No!" He reassured her, alarmed. "I just wanted to talk."
"Okay." She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Talk."
"Did you go to the clinic yesterday?" He decided to jump straight in.
She nodded.
"So, you..?" He didn't finish the sentence.
She sighed and looked down. "I wanted to. I got up early and went to my appointment. The doctor sent a counsellor in and I talked to her for a while. They sent me in to have it done but at the last minute I changed my mind."
"You did?" He felt a smiled break out on his face. "Really?"
She nodded and then smiled. "Yeah. I'm going to have a baby."
He pulled her into a hug. "That is really good news!"
"You think?" She checked, clinging to his shoulders.
"I know." He assured her.
"You'll help me?"
"Every step of the way." He promised. "And everyone else will. You're not alone."
"I guess they all want to know, huh?" She asked, pulling away from him.
He nodded and smiled at her.
She smiled back.
Without thinking she leaned up and kissed him quickly on the lips, just a light peck.
She pulled away and looked embarrassed.
Angel swallowed hard. "I'm right behind you."
She nodded and went back to the work area.
"Hi guys, I've got something to tell you." She announced and saw their expectant faces. "There's going to be a baby around here soon!"
All she saw was their smiles as tears blurred her eyes.
As Wesley's arms came around her she saw Angel over his shoulder.
"Thank you." She mouthed and the smile he gave her lit up her life.
She was making the right decision.
After talking to Wesley alone in a very emotional conversation she decided that she should call Brian and at least let him know that he was going to have a child.
Wes had confided in her and told her that back in England a girl he had slept with had gotten pregnant and then had an abortion but only told him about it afterwards. Cordelia had been amazed that he'd even shed a few tears as he told her about it which in turn had set her off. He admitted that he felt lonely sometimes and he wondered what life would be like if she had had the baby and let him bring it up. They had a heart to heart and she told him she would call him.
She didn't say anything about it on the phone; she just said she would like to see him. He sounded pleased and agreed to come over the next day after work.
She spent ages selecting the right outfit, something that wouldn't reveal her situation, and then drove everyone mad by pacing and tapping her fingers on the counter. An hour before he was due to arrive Angel and Wes were called out on an emergency but they promised to be back in time.
Forty five minutes later they were still not back and Cordelia was still pacing nervously, pulling down the hem of her shirt anxiously.
"Damn girl, will you cool it?" Gunn complained. "Five more minutes and it'll be me that hurls, not you."
She turned to glare at him but stopped the pacing. "Can you tell that I'm pregnant?"
Fred laid a restraining hand on Gunn's arm before he could say anything more sarcastic than the answers he'd given her the last twice she'd asked the same question. "Cordy, you're only two and a half months gone, you can't tell at all. At least, not with that shirt on."
Cordelia nodded in satisfaction. "Good, that's good. I can handle that. What time did Angel say he and Wesley would be back?"
"As soon as they've killed the demon in the sewers." Gunn answered patiently.
"How long ago did they leave?"
"About a half hour ago." Fred volunteered. "They shouldn't be long now."
"Angel said he'd be back in ten minutes, enough time for him to be back before Brian gets here!"
"I'm sure he'll be back in time." Fred reassured her with a smile. "Do you want some coffee? I could nip out and get you a cappuccino."
Cordelia smiled at her. "No, I'm fine, but thanks."
The door to the Hyperion opened and a tall dark haired man stepped in.
Cordelia turned at the sound of the door, hoping that it was Angel. "Brian, hi."
He smiled. "Cordelia, good to see you."
"Come in." She invited him with a nervous smile. "Can I get you some coffee?"
"No, I'm fine thanks." He declined. "I have to set off on a business trip to Chicago later on tonight. I'm hoping I can get some sleep."
"Okay." There were a couple of moments of awkward silence before Cordelia spoke again. "These are my colleagues Charles Gunn and Fred Burkle. Fred, Gunn, this is Brian."
They exchanged awkward pleasantries.
"There was a reason I asked you here tonight." Cordelia told him and went to sit on the couch, indicating that he should sit next to her.
Brian looked relieved. "There was?"
She nodded. "I know it's been a while since I last saw you but some things have happened since then that I need to tell you about."
"That was a good night." He told her reminiscently and then remembered that Fred and Gunn were in the room and blushed.
Cordelia cleared her throat. "I'm just going to jump right in here because this is kind of awkward. After we... spent the night together I went to my doctor and there's something I have to tell you."
His face seemed to go white. "Oh my God, you've got AIDS haven't you?"
"No!" She reassured him.
"Then you've got a STD! Come on, what is it? Syphilis? Herpes?"
"No! I don't sleep around!" She argued, getting angry.
"Well, you could have fooled me!" He retorted.
"Excuse me?" She exclaimed. "It wasn't me that slept with a hooker once!"
"I told you that in good faith!" He shouted angrily.
"There's nobody here!"
"That is not the point!"
"Look, I didn't invite you here to argue with you. I wanted to tell you that I'm pregnant." She told him, calming down.
She saw that Gunn had come around the counter and was standing with his arms folded looking menacingly at Brian.
"Is it mine?" He asked bluntly.
Cordelia's mouth opened and shut like a fish. "Of course it's yours!"
"Well, you can't blame me for asking. What is it that you want? Money?"
She shook her head. "I don't want anything. I just thought it would be the right thing to do to tell you that you're going to have a baby. I want nothing from you."
"Okay, great, so now what?"
"You get the hell out of my home and never come near me again. I thought you were a good guy. At least, I did until you never called but after all this time I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt." She told him, no emotion in her voice. "I was wrong. Congratulations! You're going to be a daddy! Now get out!"
Brian looked at her angrily for a moment before setting off for the door. Before he reached it he swung around. "You know what?"
"What?" She asked almost wearily.
"You were lousy in bed!" He told her in response, clearly saying the only thing that came to mind.
"Yeah right, I'm the best you'll ever have!"
"You wish!"
"Well, just so you know? It's not normal! It doesn't happen to most men and it is a big deal!" She shouted to his back as he walked through the open door, bright red and embarrassed.
She turned back around and saw Angel and Wesley standing in the door to the sewer access. "How long have you been there?"
"A couple of minutes." Angel replied, leaning easily against the doorframe. "I take it that was Brian."
She nodded but said nothing.
"Well." Angel replied after a moment. "He seems like an idiot, we'll cope without him."
Slowly, Cordelia smiled. "I guess so."
She climbed out of bed slowly and shuffled down the hall. "Hey."
He turned and smiled. "Morning, sleep well?"
She nodded. "What time is it?"
"Eleven thirty."
"We should get to work." She exclaimed. "We're an hour late."
"It's okay, I called Wes and told him we'd be late." He reassured her.
"Did you tell him why?" She asked, suddenly looking alarmed.
"No, I told him we were up late talking and that you were still asleep."
"So, it's my fault, huh?" She smiled, teasing him. "I'd better go take a shower and then we can go."
"Take your time." He told her. "Do you want some coffee?"
She pulled a face and then explained. "If I eat or drink something so soon I'll be sick."
He nodded and watched as she went into the bathroom. "We wouldn't want that."
Angel was shrouded in a thick blanket while Cordelia drove them to the Hyperion in his car.
He ran ahead to get out of the sunlight while Cordelia shut off the engine and walked up the path.
He waited at the door for her, in the shade, and opened the door for her.
"Do I tell them?" She whispered as they went inside.
"It's up to you." He told her and squeezed her arm gently in support.
"Morning!" She called out to the other members of Angel Investigations.
"You're late." Wes said moodily, not looking up from his book.
"I'm pregnant." She replied.
Wes looked up sharply and Fred looked like she'd seen a ghost. Gunn nearly fell off his chair. "Excuse me?" Wes was the first to speak.
"I'm pregnant." She looked to Angel for support and he placed his hand on her back, urging her further into the hotel.
"Since when?" Gunn asked, his attention now on Cordelia instead of his game boy.
"A few weeks." She replied and went to sit at her desk.
"Who's the father?" Wes asked and then blushed. "If you don't mind me asking."
"He's called Brian." She told him. "Brian Green."
"How long have you been dating?" Wes pressed.
"We haven't." She told him, looking down. "I slept with him once and I got pregnant."
"What are you going to do?" Fred asked.
"Are you considering abortion?" Wes wanted to know.
She nodded. "Yeah I am. I don't know what I want to do or what I think I'll do. My doctor says I've got another two weeks before I have to make a decision. After that I'd have to give birth to the foetus in an abortion which I don't want to do. Before that time it will be... easier."
"We're all here for you." Gunn told her with a smile, which she returned.
"Thanks." She lowered her head again and took a deep breath.
"What are we working on here?" Angel asked, swiftly changing the subject, sensing that Cordelia was about to get emotional.
Wes seemed to understand and started to tell Angel about one of their new cases.
Cordelia dabbed at her eyes discretely with a tissue and then booted up her computer, ready to start work. She looked up for a brief second and saw Fred looking at her. "What?"
"Oh, nothing." Fred replied and blushed.
"Go on." Cordelia urged.
"I was just wondering what it feels like knowing you have a baby growing inside of you." The Texan told her.
Cordelia shrugged. "Sometimes I feel great, sometimes I feel like I want to kill myself." Wesley's words to Angel faded and everyone turned to look at her.
"Okay, this isn't going to work." She told them. "Can we just pretend that this is just a normal day? Pretend like I haven't told you?"
"If that's what you want." Wes told her and stated talking to Angel again.
As Wesley droned on about the existence of more Durslar Beasts in the city, Angel's eyes strayed to Cordelia who was typing something into her computer. She was pretending to be strong but deep down he knew he wasn't.
They pretended for two weeks. Cordelia didn't come in the last Friday. Angel tried calling her twice and Wes called her cell three times but she didn't answer. They all had a suspicion where she was. They all remembered her telling them that she had to make a decision in two weeks time and they all could have a good guess that she was at the clinic.
She came in Saturday morning smiling. She was wearing a white linen skirt and a red tie top. She had a pair of sunglasses on her head.
"Morning." Angel told her casually.
"Good morning!" She smiled and went to sit at her desk.
"Do you want some coffee?" Fred asked, getting up to put some on.
She nodded. "Thanks, that would be great."
She flicked through the bills someone had thoughtfully left on her desk and discarded them all as not important.
She stood up. "I'm just nipping to the bathroom Fred, I won't be a minute."
She went to the bathroom and felt everyone's eyes on her back.
When she came out she bumped smack into Angel who was hovering on the other side of the door.
"Did you just listen to me pee?" She asked.
"No!" He reassured her, alarmed. "I just wanted to talk."
"Okay." She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Talk."
"Did you go to the clinic yesterday?" He decided to jump straight in.
She nodded.
"So, you..?" He didn't finish the sentence.
She sighed and looked down. "I wanted to. I got up early and went to my appointment. The doctor sent a counsellor in and I talked to her for a while. They sent me in to have it done but at the last minute I changed my mind."
"You did?" He felt a smiled break out on his face. "Really?"
She nodded and then smiled. "Yeah. I'm going to have a baby."
He pulled her into a hug. "That is really good news!"
"You think?" She checked, clinging to his shoulders.
"I know." He assured her.
"You'll help me?"
"Every step of the way." He promised. "And everyone else will. You're not alone."
"I guess they all want to know, huh?" She asked, pulling away from him.
He nodded and smiled at her.
She smiled back.
Without thinking she leaned up and kissed him quickly on the lips, just a light peck.
She pulled away and looked embarrassed.
Angel swallowed hard. "I'm right behind you."
She nodded and went back to the work area.
"Hi guys, I've got something to tell you." She announced and saw their expectant faces. "There's going to be a baby around here soon!"
All she saw was their smiles as tears blurred her eyes.
As Wesley's arms came around her she saw Angel over his shoulder.
"Thank you." She mouthed and the smile he gave her lit up her life.
She was making the right decision.
After talking to Wesley alone in a very emotional conversation she decided that she should call Brian and at least let him know that he was going to have a child.
Wes had confided in her and told her that back in England a girl he had slept with had gotten pregnant and then had an abortion but only told him about it afterwards. Cordelia had been amazed that he'd even shed a few tears as he told her about it which in turn had set her off. He admitted that he felt lonely sometimes and he wondered what life would be like if she had had the baby and let him bring it up. They had a heart to heart and she told him she would call him.
She didn't say anything about it on the phone; she just said she would like to see him. He sounded pleased and agreed to come over the next day after work.
She spent ages selecting the right outfit, something that wouldn't reveal her situation, and then drove everyone mad by pacing and tapping her fingers on the counter. An hour before he was due to arrive Angel and Wes were called out on an emergency but they promised to be back in time.
Forty five minutes later they were still not back and Cordelia was still pacing nervously, pulling down the hem of her shirt anxiously.
"Damn girl, will you cool it?" Gunn complained. "Five more minutes and it'll be me that hurls, not you."
She turned to glare at him but stopped the pacing. "Can you tell that I'm pregnant?"
Fred laid a restraining hand on Gunn's arm before he could say anything more sarcastic than the answers he'd given her the last twice she'd asked the same question. "Cordy, you're only two and a half months gone, you can't tell at all. At least, not with that shirt on."
Cordelia nodded in satisfaction. "Good, that's good. I can handle that. What time did Angel say he and Wesley would be back?"
"As soon as they've killed the demon in the sewers." Gunn answered patiently.
"How long ago did they leave?"
"About a half hour ago." Fred volunteered. "They shouldn't be long now."
"Angel said he'd be back in ten minutes, enough time for him to be back before Brian gets here!"
"I'm sure he'll be back in time." Fred reassured her with a smile. "Do you want some coffee? I could nip out and get you a cappuccino."
Cordelia smiled at her. "No, I'm fine, but thanks."
The door to the Hyperion opened and a tall dark haired man stepped in.
Cordelia turned at the sound of the door, hoping that it was Angel. "Brian, hi."
He smiled. "Cordelia, good to see you."
"Come in." She invited him with a nervous smile. "Can I get you some coffee?"
"No, I'm fine thanks." He declined. "I have to set off on a business trip to Chicago later on tonight. I'm hoping I can get some sleep."
"Okay." There were a couple of moments of awkward silence before Cordelia spoke again. "These are my colleagues Charles Gunn and Fred Burkle. Fred, Gunn, this is Brian."
They exchanged awkward pleasantries.
"There was a reason I asked you here tonight." Cordelia told him and went to sit on the couch, indicating that he should sit next to her.
Brian looked relieved. "There was?"
She nodded. "I know it's been a while since I last saw you but some things have happened since then that I need to tell you about."
"That was a good night." He told her reminiscently and then remembered that Fred and Gunn were in the room and blushed.
Cordelia cleared her throat. "I'm just going to jump right in here because this is kind of awkward. After we... spent the night together I went to my doctor and there's something I have to tell you."
His face seemed to go white. "Oh my God, you've got AIDS haven't you?"
"No!" She reassured him.
"Then you've got a STD! Come on, what is it? Syphilis? Herpes?"
"No! I don't sleep around!" She argued, getting angry.
"Well, you could have fooled me!" He retorted.
"Excuse me?" She exclaimed. "It wasn't me that slept with a hooker once!"
"I told you that in good faith!" He shouted angrily.
"There's nobody here!"
"That is not the point!"
"Look, I didn't invite you here to argue with you. I wanted to tell you that I'm pregnant." She told him, calming down.
She saw that Gunn had come around the counter and was standing with his arms folded looking menacingly at Brian.
"Is it mine?" He asked bluntly.
Cordelia's mouth opened and shut like a fish. "Of course it's yours!"
"Well, you can't blame me for asking. What is it that you want? Money?"
She shook her head. "I don't want anything. I just thought it would be the right thing to do to tell you that you're going to have a baby. I want nothing from you."
"Okay, great, so now what?"
"You get the hell out of my home and never come near me again. I thought you were a good guy. At least, I did until you never called but after all this time I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt." She told him, no emotion in her voice. "I was wrong. Congratulations! You're going to be a daddy! Now get out!"
Brian looked at her angrily for a moment before setting off for the door. Before he reached it he swung around. "You know what?"
"What?" She asked almost wearily.
"You were lousy in bed!" He told her in response, clearly saying the only thing that came to mind.
"Yeah right, I'm the best you'll ever have!"
"You wish!"
"Well, just so you know? It's not normal! It doesn't happen to most men and it is a big deal!" She shouted to his back as he walked through the open door, bright red and embarrassed.
She turned back around and saw Angel and Wesley standing in the door to the sewer access. "How long have you been there?"
"A couple of minutes." Angel replied, leaning easily against the doorframe. "I take it that was Brian."
She nodded but said nothing.
"Well." Angel replied after a moment. "He seems like an idiot, we'll cope without him."
Slowly, Cordelia smiled. "I guess so."
