Disclaimer: All Tolkien's stuff is his and my orc belongs to me. May the Good Lord have mercy on him. This was inspired by The Lauderdale, who suggested that I should write a series of stories about Nuzluk, the most long suffering and frustrated orc in Middle Earth. More to come. God Bless.

Nuzluk and Bill the Pony by Arabiasil

Nuzluk sat in the bushes and watched the group carefully. The Ranger had gone off for more firewood, leaving the hobbits at his mercy. He grinned to himself as he thought of how sweet their tender flesh would be.

The wind shifted a bit and suddenly the pack pony popped his head up as he caught the scent of the orc. He snorted a warning in Nuzluk's direction.

"Humph." thought Nuzluk. "I'll save you till last." he muttered to Bill the pony. "or use you to pack their carcasses away to a safer place to eat."

Bill stared at him as if he had heard him and Nuzluk stared back, making his plans to attack. Suddenly one of the hobbits, a nice fat one, came up to Bill and patted him on the neck.

"Here now Bill, what's the matter?" asked Sam. "You're not missing Bree already?"

Bill snorted again and nuzzled Sam in the chest.

"You don't worry Bill. I'll take good care of you." reassured Sam as he patted Bill one more time before returning to the camp fire.

Nuzluk moved quietly towards the hobbits, intent on surprising them before they could get away. He was going to have a feast and then... The last thing he saw was Bill's hind feet hurtling towards his face. Then darkness.

When he awoke his head was pounding and he found himself quite a distance from the camp. Bill's kick had sent him rolling down a hill full of sharp stones and brambles.

Moaning, he dragged himself to his feet and started back up the hill. Just as he got to the top he saw Bill grazing at the edge of the steep incline. Bill immediately wheeled and kicked him back down the hill. He tumbled back down hitting every stone and thorn bush along the way, finally coming to a halt against a pile of rocks at the bottom. He lay there for a minute in stunned agony.

Finally he got back to his feet and stared back up the hill. He wasn't going to give up. There was food at the top of the hill for the taking and he was hungry. He stopped short of the top and tried to peek over the edge. Bill's heels came flying at his head again. He ducked and ran to his left until he came to a thicket.

Chuckling to himself at his own cleverness he made his way through the thicket till he reached the top. Then he started back towards the camp.

Suddenly he felt Bill's teeth clamp down on his left arm and jerk him away from the camp. He caught a glimpse of Bill's ears pinned back against his head as he dragged the startled orc back to the top of the ravine. He clamped down harder on Nuzluk's arm and there was a sickening crunch of breaking bone.

Then Bill swung his head and threw Nuzluk back down the ravine. There was a satisfied snort from Bill as Nuzluk went careening back down the hill and a muffled "Oh gawd my arm!" as he hit the pile of rocks. Then silence. Bill returned to his grazing and Nuzluk found some sticks to splint his arm, snarling to himself as he did so.

"If this creature wants war so be it. I'll use his bones for battle clubs." he muttered. Nuzluk had had enough. This was only a horse, and a pony at that! He frowned at a nicker from the top of the hill that sounded suspiciously like a horse laugh. That just fueled his ill temper more and he went struggling back up the hill towards his prey. He had wanted to get the hobbits first but this horse was asking for it.

He stopped near the top and peered around a small bush. Bill's bramble entangled tail hit him squarely in the face, causing intense pain. The orc retreated a few paces to stay out of Bill's reach and tried again.

This time he went slowly, crawling on his hands and knees. He stopped behind a large stump and peeked out. The hobbits were busily eating their meal. Nuzluk creeped forward, intent on his prey. They would never see him until he was already on them.

He carefully made his way through some bushes until he was almost close enough to smell them. The hobbits burst out laughing at a joke. Just as they started into a very loud song, Nuzluk crouched to spring, and felt a sudden excruciating pressure on his right hand. He looked down and saw Bill's hoof planted firmly on top of his right hand. He looked up at Bill's blazing eyes, and whispered in a pleading voice "You wouldn't do that to old Nuzluk would you?"

Bill gave a low snort and put his full weight on Nuzluk's hand. The orc gasped in pain as the bones in his right hand gave way. Bill held him there in squirming agony until he was satisfied he had learned his lesson and then released him to go wriggling back to the ravine from whence he came.

Nuzluk made his way slowly back down the ravine, whimpering to himself about evil horses and the wrongness of the universe. The hobbits never saw him leave and all Aragorn saw of him was his stumbling footprints as he made his way away from the camp as fast as he could.

TBC