A/N: A huge thank you to the people who have reviewed so far! Well, they confront him in this chapter. It's been a long time coming, but it was quite difficult to write. Hopefully it's not too schmaltzy but not too cold. Enjoy! R/R, feedback would really be appreciated on this chapter.
Disclaimer: As ever, JK Rowling is supreme. I am a mere blot in her universe. And I have a mortal fear of lawyers.
The three friends sat in total silence, trying to take in what they had just realised. Finally, Sirius voiced what they were all silently thinking.
"So, do we confront Remus?" James nodded slightly reluctantly.
"I guess we have to. I mean it's a pretty big thing to keep secret, especially from your best mates. We'll have to do it quite soon too, otherwise we won't do it at all." James stopped to glare at Peter, who had begun to whimper. "Look Pete, it's not as if we're confronting him when he's a werewolf, it'll be when he's very much human. Besides, I refuse to let this be. I can see why he didn't tell us, but I want to hear it from him." Sirius straightened up, evidently trying to regain his composure.
"James, we can't just rush into something like this. That'd be a wonderful conversation wouldn't it? 'Hello Remus, how's things, lovely weather we're having. Oh and tell us, how long have you been a werewolf?' It's silly." James rubbed his eyes.
"I know what you're saying Sirius, but we need to do it soon. Otherwise we'll chicken out and he'll never know that we know. This is one secret I don't want to pretend I don't know." He became lost in thought, and the silence was only broken when Peter ventured to speak and say that they should really get to their Potions lesson.
* * *
They walked into the classroom, to find no sign of Remus. James looked confusedly at Peter and Sirius, who both looked equally bewildered; Remus would never miss a lesson. They sat down, and when the Potions master excused himself for a few moments and went out of the room, they immediately heard a drawling voice behind them.
"Wonder where Lupin is? He's probably up in his dormitory swooning like a girl. Did you see him in Defence Against the Dark Arts this morning? Honestly, what a wuss." Sirius clenched his fists angrily and made to turn round, but James shot him a warning look and instead he himself turned to face a boy named Vincent Jones, a particularly nasty Slytherin.
"Remus isn't feeling too well. Do you have a problem with that?" Jones scowled at James, his contempt apparent.
"I have no problem with it, Potter. I just want to know why he seems to be ill all the time." Jones began to sneer. "Does he miss his mummy? Is that it? Poor ickle baby Remus misses his parents. How sweet."
It all happened within a few seconds; Sirius leapt off his chair, his face contorted in fury, his fists ready to fly at Jones. The Slytherin boys in the Potions class stood to defend Vincent, the Gryffindor boys got to their feet to come to Sirius' aid if they were needed and James and Peter tried vainly to stop Sirius from advancing towards Jones. Sirius was roaring practically incoherent threats.
"You say another word against Remus and I swear I'll kill you, Jones! You have no right!" Jones looked at Sirius with venom in his blue eyes.
"Since when were you his keeper?" he spat. "Don't tell me, the Black sense of loyalty comes through again! Next thing you know he'll follow in his dear brother's footsteps. Tell me, how many people has Regulus cursed this week?" The tense scene was only dispelled when a soft voice said,
"Don't tell me this is all over little old me?" Everyone in the room turned to see Remus standing in the doorway, his pale face obviously torn between shock and a trace of amusement. He walked towards his friends, took his books out of his bag and sat down quietly. After a pause, he looked up and said, "Isn't anyone else going to sit down?" Sirius opened his mouth to protest but something in Remus' eyes made him sigh and sit down, just in time for the Potions master to return and find his class seated as if nothing had happened.
* * *
After the lesson, the four Gryffindor boys headed to their dormitory. They reached the scarlet room and as Peter fell onto the bed with some sense of relief, Remus rounded on Sirius.
"Are you absolutely mad?!" he bellowed. "You could have got yourself in serious trouble if Professor Gratis had walked in when I did. Honestly Sirius, with your reputation with the teachers, you could have been suspended, if not something worse! I'm not having you lot getting into trouble because of me!" Remus paused here, his eyes shining, and Peter took advantage of the silence to squeak,
"It's only because we care about you Remus." He almost regretted this when Remus turned to face him, his eyes ablaze with something intangible, something that none of the boys had ever seen in him before. They had never seen Remus get as angry as this, and were silently willing him to speak to break the tension. When he spoke his voice was quiet as ever, but with an edge to it.
"Listen to me. I know you care, but I don't want any of you to… to get hurt. People around me tend to get hurt. I would hate for it to happen to any of you." Remus' voice died out here, and he sank onto the bed with his head in his hands. Sirius looked down, worried. James and Peter glanced at each other, and then at Sirius. The three boys nodded at each other in a way that said, "It's now or never." James took a deep breath and took a tentative step towards Remus, who was still sat with his head buried in his hands. Feeling slightly more confident, James walked towards the bed and sat down next to Remus on his right hand side. As he sat, the confidence seeped away as quickly as it had come to him. He tried to hold onto it, but it was like struggling to hold onto water in cupped hands and he felt himself shiver.
"Remus." Something in James' voice made Remus look up, and James was troubled by the look in his eyes. He was afraid that Remus was about to cry, and he knew that if he started, everyone else would soon follow. He continued slightly shakily, "You should know that we see you as a really … a really good mate. And we… we would never desert you or anything. Never." All the while he was talking, James wasn't really hearing what he was saying; he was silently willing Remus to look up and understand what he was saying. "Not even if you had a really bad secret." James' voice failed him here, and he looked to his other two friends for help. Sirius came and sat down on Remus' left.
"Not even if this secret was terrible, or if you thought it would make us hate you. You're too good a friend. I wouldn't have a go at that creep Jones for just anyone now, would I?" In spite of himself, Remus smiled at this and shook his head. Peter took this opportunity to come and sit, almost kneel in front of Remus. Sat as they were, he three formed something like a protective triangle round their friend.
"We wouldn't react badly. We promise you Remus. Not even if the secret is that you're descended from Slytherin. Or that you have a thing for Madam Pomfrey. Or that you really don't like us after all." James then said very quietly,
"Or that you're a werewolf." He allowed these words to sink in, and then Remus very suddenly got up and walked towards the window. Peter made to follow but Sirius flung out an arm to stop him. Remus stood looking dully out of the window at the people in the grounds for a time, then with what looked like a considerable effort turned to face his three best friends. His grey eyes had lost their twinkle, and he looked distressed yet strangely defiant. When he spoke, his voice was unnaturally calm.
"Well." His eyes ran from face to nervous face. "I have to give you credit where it's due. You certainly figured it out fast. The children I grew up with took three years to make the connections, and it took you guys just under one and a half years. I am impressed." Unbidden, the image of the snarling beast flashed in front of his eyes and he inhaled sharply. Before he knew it, words were uncontrollably spilling out of his mouth.
* * *
"I was almost seven years old when I received the bite. I was outside, playing in the woods near my home, because Mum was out seeing some friends and Dad was at work. I didn't even see it coming up behind me. The next thing I knew I was running for my life. I was being chased. I couldn't hide. I couldn't see what was chasing but I could feel it; it made my skin cold, it made me sweat. Even though I was too young to fully understand what it was, it radiated power. I've never forgotten the snarling sound it made when it was chasing me. That's why I sometimes wake up screaming in the middle of the night. I go back to that place and that time in my dreams, in my nightmares. And I can still hear the growls; I can still feel the heat of its breath before it bit me. I can still see my father's face, hear my mother's crying hysterically when she saw me run through the door with a bleeding and bitten arm, shouting something about a wolf with a long snout biting me." Remus closed his eyes, and recited something unfamiliar to the boys in the room. "Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night can become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms and the moon is shining bright." He seemed to have completely forgotten the presence of the other three boys in the room as he opened his eyes and continued.
"Of course, my parents were shocked, worried, scared. I'll never grasp how they managed to make me understand how the attack would change my life. Books could only take me so far, and a lot of the time my father had to just sit me down and tell me what would happen. Imagine that… having to tell a six-year-old boy that he wouldn't be able to play with his friends on certain days of the year. Not that I had many friends in that borough anyway." Remus stopped here, and gave a small smile. "Do you see why I didn't tell you? Please tell me that you know why I didn't say anything. It's unforgivable to keep such a big secret from your friends. But you see, I… I've never had friends like you guys before. I just didn't want to lose you three by telling you my secret. Who w-w-wants to be f-f-friends with a f-f-freak…" The rest of the sentence was lost in Remus' racking sobs as he broke down and sank to his knees, sobbing heartbreakingly.
Sirius, James and Peter, who had all been sitting quietly listening, looked at each other, the sorrow visible on every face. Then Sirius, breathing deeply, got up and moved towards Remus. Dropping onto his knees, he said nothing but slowly put his arms round Remus. Even through his tears, Remus saw James and finally Peter come and sit with him and follow Sirius' lead. Nobody in the quartet said anything for a long time; they all just sat there silently, their closeness growing slowly stronger with the more time that passed. Finally, James broke the silence very tentatively.
"Remus… we did say that we wouldn't desert you. And James Potter never goes back on a promise. I'm pretty sure that Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew don't either." Those two nodded their agreement, and James smiled at Remus as he continued. "So Mr. Lupin, are we mates or what?" Remus looked up, hardly daring to believe it. No words followed, just a long session where the four friends sat and talked. And told each other everything.
* * *
Phew! R/R people, the next chapter should be up shortly.
