Title: Being
Nice Doesn't Always Pay Off…
Author: Cactuskitty
Chapter: Fourteen
Summary: Ginny gets mad at a friend and decides that it's time for her
to change. In this chapter, Ginny feels pain beyond belief…
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the Harry Potter book series, they belong to J. K. Rowling, so please don't sue. All I own is the little plot there is, Hillary, Tibby, and Ryan… But that's not muck to brag about. I don't own Aesop's Fable: The fox and the grapes either.
Chapter Fourteen: Never There
(A/N: Great song by Cake. Listen to it while you read this chapter for a full effect.)
The watermarks of tears littered the clean sheets of her journal, as Ginny struggled with the losing battle of winning the ability to write. An idea abandoned as she soon learned that her shaking hand could not hold the quill still enough to write; the thought of being that weak only caused her to sob more. This could not be happening. She had just seen him nearly a month ago. She had just seen him and broke his heart. He was very much alive when she had seen him, so alive that he had even had the audacity to kiss her.
Ginny wondered if it was his last kiss.
"Damn it." She swore bitterly while wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her jean jacket and tried to stand in the spot where she had been staying hidden in the shadows of the fifth floor hallway, miles from Gryffindor Tower. She had to escape not only the warmth of the tower, but the kindness within. Virginia was a failure in more way than one in her mind. Not only had she begun crying in the presence of Malfoy, but also unknowingly given him the article. He needed to see an equal, not a mourner . . . Her insides felt like someone had taken a dull knife to them. She was weak, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and most definitely physically. Ginny was going to vomit, and the tears were not helping her blind dash to the nearest lavatory.
When she was done, Ginny turned to lean on the sink behind her and took in face staring back. The girl parallel to her really did look a fright, her butch, greased, wine colored hair was sticking up at odd angles, mascara smeared from tears and blood red lipstick all tarnished and licked off. Who was this girl, Ginny idly wondered as tears continued to run down the girls face, and her emptied stomach churned signaling that she had better not leave the washroom. The girl in the mirror gave the appearance of once being strong and having a cutting demeanor, but Ginny knew that none of that was true. This was just a sad little girl who didn't believe she could make it on her own, and was pushed to make a physical change in order to insure her survival. However, this change wasn't meshing well with the sadness that dwelled within. Her depression was thick and this continuous pain was searing her internally. The little girl didn't have much longer until her exoskeleton would be dismantled and she would be left again, alone, weak, and battered. The façade was falling and she was terrified – Terrified of going back to before she was her own person; terrified of being used, again. This sadness was going to swallow her whole if she didn't do something soon; Ginny thought stubbornly as she inhaled deeply and began to wash her face with cold water. When she was through, she rummaged through her bag and soon pulled out the object of desire, a little black plastic bag. She dumped the contents out into the empty sink, and began painting her face after re-sharpening her black eyeliner pencil.
Not everything in life is fun and games, but as long as she was still breathing, Ginny was sure as hell going to enjoy it. No dead boy who broke her heart was going to take that away from her.
No dead boy indeed.
* * * *
It wasn't long before she was in the presence of Draco Malfoy again; he sought her out in the library four days later to return her novel. After carefully observing her during the remainder of the previous week Draco decided that he could no longer stand the stone wall protecting her. Draco may be a coward, but he was surely anything but blind. She was hiding her feelings again and nothing bugged him more than her calmness.
"What would you like, Malfoy?" Ginny inquired with out removing her eyes from the current book she was reading and before he had even sat down. This caused Draco to not only have to stop himself from jumping, but wondering if she had been gifted with a third eye. However, his underplayed surprise did not keep him from replying in his normal careless manner.
"Many things, none of which you would be . . .experienced enough to give me." He drawled with a sneer tugging his lips taut. He watched merrily as her mind automatically began to tic towards what those 'many things' could possibly be.
After a moment she sighed, but smirked nevertheless. "You'd be surprised," She said mysteriously, and if Draco had been less of a pokerfaced person, his eyebrows would have gone sky high. This girl really knew how to slap someone in the face. No wonder all the girls in the year questioned her innocence.
Draco let out a curious, "I'm sure I would . . ." before addressing the topic he had been awaiting for four days, and he was anything but patient. "You're sure looking well." Ginny threw him a glance that told him she was wondering where he was going, but before she could reply he continued, "Considering . . ."
"Let's cut the crap Malfoy, I know you have my article." Her tone was dry and biting, just like he assumed it would be, as she began her predictable explanation, "And I want you to know that there are some subject that are better left unsaid, so if you have any integrity in that ferret-like body of yours, you'd leave this one alone. Got it?"
He nodded numerous times, unfazed, while replying in a drawl, "I know, weasel, I know. I'm not that heartless of a prick . . . Stop giving me that look weasel, if you're anything, you're surely not innocent. You strike with low blows too." His voice was indignant, and his right eyebrow was raised, as if it explained everything.
"Really?!" Ginny asked facetiously, raising her face from her book and setting her head in her hands glibly.
Malfoy mocked her tone and actions as he replied, and his face was only inches from hers. "Yes really!"
"Like when?" she asked smirk broadening and eyes widening in emphasis.
"Like four days ago. You called me boring." Draco mocked perfectly, he was glad all those summers with his bratty cousins paid off.
Ginny laid a hand over her heart as she copied perfectly the annoying girlies in her years' favorite expression. Her eyebrows were as heaven bound as her nose was scrunched, while she lightly placed a hand over her heart and plopped back into her chair, "Ouch. That hurt. You never listen to me, do you?"
Malfoy couldn't help it; he raised an eyebrow, his now most common expression second only to his sneer. That was just too unnatural of an expression for her rebellious face, "What do you mean?"
"I've never called you boring." Ginny's face returned to its normal chilled demeanor as she inspected her nails, and subliminally indicated that the game was over.
Draco leaned back in his chair with prestige before replying confidently, "Yes you did."
"No, I didn't," Ginny said without removing her attention from her red nails and cut off his response of 'yes you did,' with the truth. "I called you 'oddly predictable'. Remember?"
He stared at her blankly for a moment before muttering an "Oh yes you did, didn't you?" that surprised him. A Malfoy never admits defeat, and if they must, they're always sore about it. Just look at all his damned Quidditch defeats . . .
Ginny, however, just smirked and returned her attention to her book. Draco involuntarily noticed that she had really lightened up in the last few days. She must have been able to lock his death up in the back of her mind. Malfoy unintentionally sneered at her in admiration, Virginia was much stronger than she knew, but he would never be one to tell her. No, she would have to find that out on her own, he thought as he tried to knick the book she was reading, but she was too fast.
"Ha. Ha." Was her only justification to her preparation while she continued to read.
"Damn it Weasley, I was just going to see what you were reading, not swipe the bloody thing. Why I even bother, I'll never know . . ."He scoffed, only noticing the many meanings of that comment after it was spoken, but Ginny just shook her head in response to his input.
"It's easy to despise what you don't have."
"What?"
"It's from a fable." Draco's look of question caused her to continue, "It's a muggle form of literature that teaches a lesson. The main characters are usually animals and . . ."
His eyelids drooped as he replied flippantly, "I know what a fable is, Weasley, I'm not dense. I just wanted to know which one."
"The Fox and the Grapes, of course . . . A hungry fox finds a tree with a bundle of grapes hanging from a branch."
"This sounds like a bad dirty joke; wait till I tell your brother . . ." Draco yawned, and she shot him a look of despondency.
"Do you want to hear it or not?" He nodded lazily, but she stopped until he urged her to continue.
"Oh, come on Weasley, I was just teasing. I thought you slept on a bed of nails, you're not going to let my little comment stop you from telling it."
"Why should I waste my breath? It's not like you care . . ."
Why do girls always make you beg? He thought as he asked in true earnest, but avoided a certain word that began with a 'p' and ended with 'ease', for reasons that both of them understood. "No, do continue." So she did.
"Well, he see the grapes and tries to make jump for them, but he misses. So he tries again and again. When he finally gives up he curses the grapes by calling them sour . . . Get it?"
He nodded once again before adding curtly, "You have to be one of the oddest girls I have ever met."
"Yeah . . .I get that all the time frm Harry and Ron." If her attention had not returned to her book, she might have seen Draco's own take on the girls in Ginny's year.
"What did I tell you? Low blows." Draco sneered as he removed his hand from where his heart might have been if he ever admitted to its presence. He was just glad that his newest rival hadn't lost her kick, what would entertain him then? Potter could only beat him so many times before the routine got old, Pansy was as ugly as a pug no matter how good her sense of humor was, Longbottom was a bore, and Mudblood was too much of an egghead to be entertaining. Yes, weasels were always more fun, because no one else really reacts as well as they do, or as randomly.
Ginny smirked as she took notice of his staring and decided to address the subject, "I know it's a rarity for you to be in the presence of such beauty, but must you stare?"
"What beauty? I didn't see a mirror near by," Draco sneered. "Surely you weren't talking about someone as un-special as yourself?"
Ginny rolled her eyes before sarcastically replying, "Oh, shut up Malfoy. You fancy me and the whole world knows it."
"Is that so?" he questioned dryly, with an eyebrow raised. That comment was a direct hit that sobered him instantly, "I would hope I had better taste than a lowly weasel."
She nodded sternly mumbling something along the lines of "me thinks thou protestant too much," before changing the subject, "So whaddidya think of A Wrinkle in Time? Finally find one you liked?" Draco folded his arms in front of him and began to stare defiantly, "No, too sappy . . . Golden Compass was better."
"I thought you hated that," Ginny yawned and brushed her hair behind her ears before reaching his eyes.
When her chocolate brown eyes met his own he couldn't help but feel something inside him, no matter how cliché that sounded or as much as he denied it. These 'things' seemed to occur more often when he was around this weasel and her aura of problems. It made him sick, but the feeling was addicting, hence the reason he was going out of his way to talk to her today. "Yeah, I did. It was just more action packed."
"I knew you'd say that . . ." She sneered, once again shooting those 'things' through him.
"You know too much." He seethed.
"I know." Virginia replied, with a blank face, and Draco didn't doubt her.
A/n: All done . . . Sorry it took me so long, but I have been out and about. I just really wanted to get this chapter out before school gets more hectic and all my energies have to be put towards that instead of FanFiction. This year I must study hard if I want any sort of future . . . Oh well, here's my shout outs:
Thanks to my betas, you know who you are, and all my wonderful reviewers. Remember to request songs, and I'll try to update A.S.A.P., but I don't really now where I'm going anymore, and not just in writing. ^_~
Review. Please? I beg you!
Gracias.
