Hakkai froze for a moment, shocked at Sanzo's action. Understandably, it was warmer to be close to another body, but Sanzo? The stoic monk who refused to show emotion, much less make bodily contact with another being?

"Sanzo, I think you may have been hit too hard on the head," Hakkai grinned, not having moved.

"Shut up," the blonde  growled, pulling at the brunette's neck. Hakkai brought his arms around Sanzo's back, as if drawing warmth from him. He was no longer cold. He was shaking now from something else. Something less tangible. He knew Sanzo could feel it too, as their hearts beat in tune with each other.

"I'm not cold anymore, Sanzo," Hakkai closed his eyes, and pressed his lips to the blonde's bare neck.

The monk shivered, pulling away, "Hakkai…" The youkai waited patiently. "I think you may have been hit too hard on the head."

Hakkai grinned, and drew a hand down Sanzo's fair cheek, "Perhaps. Perhaps we both have been, and we're now delirious."

"So be it," Sanzo took the hand and moved it to his lips. He gently kissed each fingertip, before moving to the wrist, the arm, the elbow, the shoulder. As his tongue felt its way up Hakkai's neck, the brunette shifted, pressing the monk hard against him. Sanzo then realized that Hakkai was not looking for sex. He was looking for love. He needed the feeling of someone held close to him, whether that someone be kissing him or fully clothed. Love…"How long have you…"

"A while now, since I awoke one night and saw you crying in your sleep," Hakkai whispered into Sanzo's shoulder. The blonde stiffened, but could not pull away because of Hakkai's embrace. "I knew then, that I would do anything to protect you, to make you stop hurting. Anything."

So, the reason finally came out. The reason for all the shields, the worrying, the sword. This was why. Hakkai had fallen in love with Sanzo.

"How?" much as he tried, Sanzo couldn't keep the pain from his voice. It wasn't physical pain, but the pain of disappointment that Hakkai was stupid enough to love someone like him.

In response, Hakkai merely crushed his body closer, painfully. Sanzo didn't mind the pain. He needed it, to keep him believing. Believing that Hakkai was honest, that he truly loved the monk. Love despite the emotional scars from his past, despite his roughness and coarseness, despite his mask.

Nothing had ever felt so good as Hakkai's chilled arms around his back.

"I'm sorry, Sanzo," Hakkai breathed against Sanzo's skin, "I couldn't help it."

"Idiot. You goddam idiot," Sanzo's voice was also low, as he moved his head deep into Hakkai's  neck.

"I know."

Neither of them wished to move. That is, until Sanzo could not curb himself anymore and he looked up to take Hakkai's lips. Distance was feared, neither wanted the other to disappear. They held each other, so it seemed like every part of their bodies were touching. And neither was cold that night.