Sorry It took so long............................................
Chapter Five: Death's design Thomas' car pulls into a partially filled parking lot. Kimberly, Thomas,
Alex, and Clear file out and head to the door.
KIMBERLY
This is cheery.

THOMAS
Who is this guy, anyway?

CLEAR
A mortician. He seemed to know a
hell of a lot more about death than
he ever told us.

THOMAS
Should we knock?

CLEAR
(looking ill)
He probably already knows we're
coming.
Kimberly, Thomas, Alex, and Clear open the large wooden doors into
a small chapel, creating a loud CREAK. A corpse in an open casket
sits at the front of the chapel, post-wake.
Kimberly, Thomas, Alex and Clear are forced to walk around the dead
body to get to a side door.
The three slowly edge towards a room at the end of a creepy
hallway. An ORANGE GLOW flickers from the far room. The
unmistakable sounds of a furnace make it all the more eerie.
As they near the door, they're able to see inside the room; the
shadow of a figure looms against a steel oven.
They edge closer. They peek inside the --
Oddly there is no one there. As they enter, passing the furnace, a
momentary WHOOSH of flames startles them all!
They jump back - bumping right into:
MR. BLUDWORTH, the dark, sinister mortician from FD1, who has
inexplicably appear BEHIND THEM.
MORTICIAN
Hello, Clear. Alex glad you could come.
I've been keeping an eye out for you.
The mortician rolls a metal gurney carrying EVAN'S EYELESS BODY
toward the firing oven. Kimberly and Thomas are scared.
KIMBERLY
Oh my God. That's Evan Shaeffer.
Clear and Alex, however, seems to expect nothing less.
MORTICIAN
Come to... Pick my brain?
The Mortician slides a gleaming set of medical pliers into Evan's
mouth. And YANKS out a gold tooth. Kimberly recoils as he discards
the bloody tooth on a metal tray.
MORTICIAN
(to Kimberly)
Flesh and bone require 1,600
degrees for cremation. Gold,
prosthetics and other metals must
be removed before the final --

CLEAR
(not falling for this
again)
Just a simple question and we'll
leave you alone with your new
friend.
The Mortician grins; he likes the new Clear. He crosses the room
and hits a LEVER. KA-CHUNK! The oven begins to blaze.
MORTICIAN
Fire away.

Alex
How do you cheat Death once and for
all?
The Mortician, recrossing the room, passes Kimberly and stoops down
to sniff, no INHALE, a terrified Kimberly's essence.
MORTICIAN
Dead. But still fresh.
Kimberly shudders as the Mortician moves back to Evan's body. Clear
has had about enough.
CLEAR
(to the Mortician)
Look, we drove a long way to get
here. So if you happen to know how
to get this death monkey off our
backs, it sure would be swell if
you told us.
The Mortician now CLAMPS THE PLIERS around Evan's NIPPLE RING.
MORTICIAN
For what purpose? You seek a back
way out of a room with but one
door. You can't cheat Death; there
are no escapes.

CLEAR
Bullshit. You told us Death has a
distinct design, a blueprint,
unalterable. But Alex and I
cheated Death not once, but dozens
of times. If the design is flawed,
it can be beaten.
A sick smile crosses the Mortician's lips. He yanks the nipple ring
OFF! Kimberly looks on both horrified and awed when Clear doesn't
flinch back from the pliers, where a bloody nub dangles.
MORTICIAN
Such fire in you now. People are
always most alive just before they
die. Don't you think? By the way
how is the little Browning still
alive I hope.
Clear steps back from him, hate flashing in her eyes.
CLEAR
You stay the hell away from our
son and It can be beaten. And
you know it.
CREEEAAAK-SLAM! The Mortician rolls Evan's body into the oven.
MORTICIAN
Some say that there is a balance to
everything. An equilibrium that is
the connective tissue of the
universe. They say that for every
life there is a death, and for
every death a life...
His words hang in the air. An ominous BREEZE enters.
MORTICIAN
Solus novus anima licet evinco
mortis; Only new life can defeat
death.
(off their confusion)
The list of life is forever set by
the Divine Plan, the guiding hand
that plots the course of the
universe, down to its tiniest
elements.
Thomas looks to Clear; what's he talking about? The Mortician
focuses on Kimberly as if the others had ceased to exist.
MORTICIAN
The list accounts for every life;
from the dawn of man to the great
apocalypse. But the introduction
of life that was not meant to be, a
soul forbidden to roam the earth,
that could invalidate Death's list,
shatter its very existence.
Evan's other eye POPS, startling Thomas and Kimberly.
THOMAS
What the hell does that mean?

MORTICIAN
(with finality)
To figure that out you'll have to
follow the signs.
The Mortician grabs Kimberly.
MORTICIAN
But be warned. To disrupt the
grand design is to unravel the
tapestry of the universe. When you
pull all the threads apart, you may
find yourself hanging from them.
The Mortician finally lets Kimberly go.
CLEAR
One last question. Why is Death
working backwards this time?
The Mortician glances at his watch - Evan's brand new Rolex.
MORTICIAN
(shakes head; a sick
smile)
Sorry, time's up.