Disclaimer: I patent the word "Oro!" *gets hit in the head with a pillow and glares* Or not.

A/N: 1000 apologies for such a very angsty last chapter, ne? _ gomen kudasai! This one will be way more light-hearted, so I hope that makes up for all the blood and dark that was the last chapter. Mucho OOCness again, and you have been warned! A chapter that is not KxK centered! Angst galore, more AxM bits, and Tsubame wakes up! Dun-dun; Sanosuke's past comes clean (o_O and he's actually giving advice!)!

Reviewers' Space!

KeNsHiN – Glad that you like it so far! Yup, definitely gonna continue this story. I'll try to update ASAP, but that depends on my schedule. Thanks for R&Ring and see you around in chapters to come!

InuYasha22 - ^^;; Ah, gomen. This chapter is less depressing! Hope you enjoy it!

Neko Oni – Yeah, loooong chapter that was; double, or even triple the usual _ Mission chapters take up a lot of space ^^;;; that's the trend that I'm beginning to see! Hehe, not that it's a bad thing though; on the contrary, it's probably a good thing! Yup, angst and dark stuff are my flavour too, but fluffy stuff makes me go all "aaawwww" and stuff. ^^ Yeah, Kaoru can definitely hold her own! Time that Kenshin respects that and doesn't go charging in to save her as if she's some damsel in distress, coz I really think that she's not! XD far, FAAAAAAAR from it in this fic too! _ I doubt that she'd be an assassin if she was a damsel in distress in the first place *grin*

Yeah, Misao got some action as well ^^;;; since there was close to nothing in the last couple of chapters about her and Aoshi, so there's more focus on her in this one to make up for that. ;_; it sucks that the kids died, _ I'm feeling guilty for doing that, but well, as you say, not every mission can go well, ne? Ah, blue-haired guy? XD Mwahahahah~ all in due time, my pretty, all in due time.

Downloading WK huh? XD yesh! Another fan added to the list, hehehehe XD the animation in the first half is pretty good, but have ta warn you that it gets pretty crappy after the second half/close to the end. ^^ Yesh, I do know that it's my fault *smiles innocently* I seem to have a habit of getting people addicted to manga and anime and what not. ^^ I got one of my pet bros addicted to Love Hina just because I suggested that he read it, and he's totally glued onto it now XD Yesh, I am mucho evilness. Thanks for R&Ring girl, and looking forward to hearing from you again soon! XD update, update!!!

Irksome one – Really? You think so? XD thanks! I use spell check and grammar check on Microsoft word, and I also reread what I write just so that I can glean out careless errors and what not ^^ Hehe, glad someone recognizes my efforts! Lol. I can't stand stories where the grammar is totally cruddy and punctuation is all over the place either. o_O wow, one of the reasons why you like my fic is coz of the grammar? ^^ If everyone was like you then I'd be having a ton of people liking my fic! XD Anyway, thanx for R&Ring and see you again in the next chapter!

Rogue solus – Who indeed did the deed hmm? Ah, you'll find out soon enough _ hope that it wasn't too sad and depressing _ Yup, they are all in a better place I guess. Glad you liked the chapter! Thanks for R&Ring and see ya round next time!

Cute Emerald – Yup, ^^; finally updated! Just check back once a week or so; I'll probably only post up chapters during the weekends, coz I'm just way too busy during weekdays to have finished them up. Yesh, more Misao and Aoshi coming up, so ^^ enjoy!

Ana – Ah, a new reviewer; hihi! Glad that you're loving the story so far, and I'll do as much as I possibly can! Thanks for R&Ring!

Amanda H. – It's no problem at all! ^^ Welcome back to the story anyway. Glad that you're still reading it! XD (I have fans! Lol j/k) Yeah, by the looks of things, this fic is probably gonna end up with 20+ chapters, if not 30; time will tell! _ I definitely hope that I don't get writer's block too! Thanks for R&Ring and see you around!

Baka-Ryu - _ Sick isn't it? Well, product testing was just _ totally ergh to right, but I'd already figured that I'd write an angsty chapter. Yup, will try to do as much as I can and I'll definitely keep writing, so keep reading, ne? Thanks for R&Ring and see ya next time!

Eeevee – Ooh, a new RK fanfic reader? ^^ Kewl. o_O wow up till 3am reading my story? ^^;;; I feel so loved, haha. XD glad all the Japanese is indeed of some use to you, hehe; Yahiko sure is less irritating in this fic for certain reasons ^^ I like him better this way too. Thanks for R&Ring and hope to see you again in the chapters to come!

Dragona 2007 – Thankees! I'll try to update ASAP! Thanks for R&Ring!

Dragontamer9741 – Wow o_O you're the first person who reviewed who hasn't said anything about the last chapter being depressing or too angsty. ^^ Glad that you like it though, and yeah, Yahiko *is* the king of PS2 in the house! XD thanks so much for R&Ring and please keep reading!

Chris – lol, I should officially name you the guy who hits the nail on the head everytime with questions that everyone wants to know the answers to, ne? There is indeed a hint in the last chapter that may have given it away, but well, you'll sure find out soon enough, ne? Thanks so much for R&Ring and I'll see you again in the next chapter!

Flyinangel777 – Yeah, really freaky chapter that was. It was Tsubame, Megumi will definitely show up in the next one or two chapters. Thanks for the compliment! ^^ I try my best to write as well as I can! Thanks for R&Ring and I'll see you in the next chapter ne!

Missaw – It would serve all those people right too! Mm… I know that the last chapter was rather depressing _ but it shouldn't get too depressing for a while now (unless the fic decides to go and wave bye-bye at me!) Glad that you loved it though! Yup, will definitely update ASAP! Thanks for R&Ring and see you in the next chapter girl!

Kaoru – Ooh, did you get your computer fixed then? Kewl. _ Yeah, I know it was pretty depressing, but I was kinda in a funny state of mind (and was re-reading Linay's Broken Pieces while I was writing it). OVA 2 is waaaaaay depressing, and I absolutely refuse to go along with that ending! I'm not much of a Tomoe fan either, but I would watch it if I could get my paws on it, just to see Kenshin! XD _ Yup, everyone's dead _ well almost everyone. Thanks for R&Ring and I'll see you again next chapter!

Trickster - ^^;;; Lol, you're right, way more than a 'bit' dark and angsty, but understatements are mucho my thing! Yup, it's Tsubame alright! _ feel terrible that I made something like that happen to her, but well, can't just leave Yahiko all alone in the house without another kid around his age, ne? Thanks so much for R&Ring and hope to see you around in the chapters to come!

Nicky – Yeah, it sucked that those kids had to die ne? _ but it had to happen coz it's kinda the appetizer to whatever is gonna show up next. Yup, it's Tsubame alright, but she'll be mucho ok now. Mmm… yesh, have to do something with Sou; poor boy can't be all alone all the time now, can he? Absolutely not! It is depressing to have accomplished a mission, only to find out that the very people that you saved are (excuse the phrase) blown to smithereens right in front of your eyes. =) Thank you! I do try my best to write as well as I possibly can ^^ Yup, I'll try to update ASAP! Thanks for R&Ring, and I'll see you around in the next chapter!

More AUness!

Chapter 16: Dealing with the pain

Thoughts are in ' '

Speech is in " "

I never intended to lie

But irony works against me

And the gift that I had wanted to give them.

Sweet is the smell of death

Sour is the smell of misery.

God save me, for I have sinned. – Makimachi Misao

The overwhelming feeling of helplessness

Something that I thought I would never feel again

But fate plays its hand

And once again I fall, proven wrong.

Must the blood of innocents be spilt

To show us our arrogance? – Kamiya Soujirou

"Misao!" She continued to plod ahead through the rain, stumbling over small pebbles in the pathway. Even the rain seemed to torture her, driving forces of tiny daggers cutting into the waitress uniform that she was still wearing.

"Misao!" Aoshi was a few steps behind her as he reached for her shoulder. This was fast getting nowhere; Aoshi tried again. "Misao, would you please just stop?" His grip on her shoulder was firm but gentle, and she stopped walking, coming to a standstill even as the rain continued to pour down against the dark sky as thunder rumbled overhead and lightning flashed in the sky, painting the very picture of her roiling emotions.

"Please leave me alone, Aoshi-sama." She was defeated, she had failed, and she hadn't been able to do anything. Misao could feel the pain ripping through her soul, shearing it apart as if it was a fragile sheet of paper, and the shreds were fluttering, spiralling downwards to some inner abyss that was bottomless. The guilt threatened to crush her small bones, overwhelming in its entirety. She shut her eyes against the rain, lifting her head up to embrace the thick droplets as they spiked into her face, mingling with the salty tears that ran from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. Warmth flowed from the hand that was on her shoulder into her body. 'Something that I do not deserve.'

"That is something that I cannot do, Misao." His voice was quiet, cutting through the roar of the rain. The voice softened, deviating from its normal coldness for her. "There was nothing that you could do, Misao." Even as he said the words, he could feel her shoulder stiffen under his hand, and she whipped around, face twisted into pain and anguish; her long braid snapped hard into his leg as she whirled around to face him.

"How can you say that? How can you say that I couldn't have helped them? If I hadn't left them there, if I hadn't asked them to get into the van, then they wouldn't have died!" Her fingers curled around the collar of her shirt, twisting into the white fabric that was almost transparent in the rain. Green eyes ridden with pain and guilt stared at the ground blankly. Misao's voice died down to a barely audible whisper. "I lied to them, Aoshi-sama. I told them that they would be safe, but I lied!" The sharp bark of bitter laughter from her throat frightened Aoshi. "I'm such a pathetic liar! 'May you be happy where you are going' I said; are they happy now? Are they happier that they are no longer in this world now?! How could I have lied to them?!" She sank into a crouch on the pathway, and her fisted hands beat into the hard ground, drawing blood where she hit the small stones.

"Misao…" The okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu was at a loss for words. The sight of the once ever-genki young ninja was reduced to this, a sobbing young woman who held the weight of the world in her hands, ridden with guilt, believing that she had been at fault for the lives of fifteen young ones along with a grown man. This was one of the reasons why he had been so reluctant to let her go on the mission, why he had not wanted her to be there at all.

But fate had its way of playing its twisted games.

And here they stood now, like broken toys in the rain, having to deal with the guilt and the loss and the pain. Aoshi hadn't wanted this for her, hadn't wanted her to go through what he had to suffer as an assassin; he should have been the only one to be burdened by the guilt, he should have been the only one to linger in the pain, he should be the only one who feels responsible for those that he had killed, and those that he couldn't save.

Not her. Never her.

'It's too late for that now.' She could no longer go back to the innocence of being unrelated to such violence, could no longer return to times where ignorance was bliss.

"Please Misao, please stop torturing yourself!" The okashira's voice was pleading; he couldn't bear to see the woman he loved suffering like this.

"Don't you understand?! Don't you understand?!" Anguished emerald clashed with pleading blue as their eyes met. "I killed them!!" Her bangs plastered themselves to her cheeks and forehead as her head kissed the pebbly ground. "I killed them." She repeated. That snapped Aoshi out of his shocked stupor and he knelt down in front of her, grabbing her arms and shaking her slightly.

"You did no such thing, Misao. You did not kill them! It was not your fault!" Some of the angst seemed to go out of her eyes as she stared at him, shocked that he would take off the icy mask that he hid behind for her. Then the hooded look was back over her eyes once again, and he could practically see the barriers slam up between them. 'Is this what I do to her?' He wondered to himself. 'Is this how I treat her?' He was finally getting a taste of his own medicine; the hard way.

"But it is." She continued to avoid his eyes, looking at anywhere but him. She hated herself right now; for being so naïve, to think that salvation for the children had come so easily, that they would be in safe hands. "I was so stupid." Misao berated herself in a bare whisper. "I should have noticed something was wrong, I should have seen anything, even a sign!" Her hands fisted into the ground, palms digging into the rough surface. The tears fell faster. "How could I have been so stupid!!"

"If that's what you're blaming yourself for, then we're all guilty of the same thing. We are all seasoned assassins, and we are trained to notice the slightest twinge of wrongness and then back off from the mission if we do." 'Please look at me, Misao.' He implored silently. 'Please just look at me.' "And yet we did not. How then, can this be your fault? How then, can you call yourself stupid?"

She didn't want to understand; wanted to take the responsibility of it all onto her small shoulders, refusing to let anyone else take the burden. It was because of this that she said words that she didn't mean and regretted them the instant that they left her mouth. Her eyes flashed and she snarled at him, emotions clouding her sharp sense of thinking and ruling her mouth.

"What would you understand about it?!"

Realization hit her like a pile of bricks as she saw him stiffen slightly and the muscles in his jaw twitched; she shouldn't have said that. The uncomfortable silence lingered in the space between them as rain dripped off them to add to the many puddles on the ground. Just when the green-eyed girl was about to apologize, Aoshi began to speak in a calm, collected voice.

"I understand more than you would ever know." Startled out of the apology that she had been about to make, her green eyes turned to his face, and she saw that his blue eyes were a dark navy musk, so dark it was almost black, and he was lost in the depths of memories. "I understand all too much what it feels like to take someone's life, when you see the flicker of life leave their eyes and how the blood splatters against your face. I understand much too much about how sane people can be turned into sadistic maniacs; I understand too much how each and every victim of violence is fighting for their life everyday." His eyes turned to meet hers finally, his voice dying down to a soft whisper.

"And most of all, I understand what it feels like to fail the ones who you were meant to protect, and the guilt and self-hate that comes along with it."

Her tears fell again, joining the liquid that streamed down her face, and she buried her head into his chest, fingers fisting into the black fabric as she cried. Misao's voice was muffled as she repeated the words over and over again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry." His hands left the grip on her arms, and one of them wrapped around her waist, pulling her small body closer to him, the other stroked through her wet hair, offering small comfort. The rain slowed to a drizzle as exhaustion caught up with her, and slowly but surely, she fell asleep in his arms, slumping forward in his chest.

His blue eyes were soft as he regarded the sleeping girl.

"There is nothing to forgive."

~*~

He hid his face within the crook of his arms even as he curled into a smaller ball on the tree branch that he was on. Rain pitter-pattered through the cover of the leaves, slipping like dewdrops onto his clothes and skin. Soujirou made no sound even as he suffered from the guilt that weighed heavy in his heart, and his mind kept on replaying the scene of the explosion. No tears touched his face; he kept all emotion locked up tight inside, only occasionally allowing happiness, anger and compassion through. Pain, however, was another issue. He refused to let it out and he refused to express it. A long time ago when his mother had died, he had promised himself that he wouldn't cry anymore, and that he would always keep a smile on his face for Kaoru no matter what. Fourteen years and counting; it was hard smiling all the time, but he felt that it was necessary, to remind himself of the other things that were always swirling around in his mind; to remind himself that he was after all just a boy-turned-man.

This time around, however, he was finding it hard to keep the smile on his face. It was the first time that they had ever failed a mission, and it was a hard blow to his soul. How was it possible to alleviate the guilt that you felt when the fifteen people you were responsible for just up and died in an explosion right in front of your eyes? And how was it possible to not feel responsible for it when you had felt that there was something was wrong with the mission, but had done nothing about it?

How could you keep smiling then?

It had been so long since he had felt like this; eight years ago to be precise. The night that his (and Kaoru's) father had died. It was that same feeling of helplessness and bitter anger aimed at oneself when nothing could have been done to save the ones that you loved, and that you needed to protect. Lives had been snuffed out in mere seconds, and he had been able to do nothing other than stand by and watch as they died. 'Why didn't I heed my senses? Why didn't I listen?' He questioned himself angrily. Another part of his mind retorted in the same manner. 'And what would you have done? Pulled out of the mission? Then those men would surely have had their way with the children. Would you have preferred that they lived instead, only to suffer?'

'No!' He shook his head vehemently in response and his cheeks rubbed against the damp fabric of his turtleneck sleeves. 'But they did not have to die that way!' The ocean-eyed man's fingers tightened on his knees as he tried to seek refuge from the overwhelming emotions. "Why am I so helpless?" He whispered brokenly. "Why couldn't I help them?" His knuckles showed white as he gripped on tighter. "Why couldn't I help them?" Repetition served as no answer.

"You and I damn well know that this is no fault of yours, and neither is it the fault of jou-chan, Kenshin, the Iceman or the itachi-musume." Soujirou's head jerked up from the crook of his arms as the voice invaded his space. He had been so engrossed with his own thoughts that he had failed to notice that Sanosuke had walked up to the tree that he was in, and was now currently standing with his back against the rough bark through the slow drizzle of the rain. The tall man's eyes were closed, brow furrowed slightly in thought. The rain pattered on the leaves, every drop audible in the momentary silence.

"I wasn't there tonight, but I think I can understand what you're going through right now." His eyelids slid open, and for once, his brown eyes held a very serious light in them; Soujirou could not see this, but Sanosuke's quiet voice proved this. He kept silent, eyes unblinking in the dusk already turning to dawn as the older man continued.

"It was a similar situation that led me to the path that I am on now. You know that I once told you I was in a gang that fought for the people before Katsura-san found me right? (1) But I never told you the reasons as to why I ended up here." He paused for a second before going on again. "All of us in Black Dawn respect the need for privacy, and for as long as I've known you and Kaoru and even Iceman, and now Kenshin, you've never once asked me about my past. Now though, I think is the time to let you know that I thank you for giving me a choice of privacy, and I want to tell you a story; my story, that reflects something much like what happened tonight."

His eyelids slid over his eyes again in reminiscence. "I used to be like Yahiko, just a kid on the streets with no last name, parents deceased, and left to fend for myself in such dangerous and needy times. I was way more fortunate than the kid was though, coz I didn't have any paranormal abilities then, and wasn't used as a target (2). It was a tough life on the streets; I was a pickpocket sometimes, but more often than not, I used to rummage through the garbage bins, searching for leftover food that I could survive on. One day though, everything changed."

"It was one of those cold winter days, and there I was shivering like a leaf; there had been nothing edible in the trash, and so I had to resort to pick-pocketing for the day if I wanted to survive through the night. The cold made me sloppy however, and the guy I was pick-pocketing saw what I was doing. I was terrified then, but as he made to hit me, someone stopped him. This man was none other than Sagara Souzou, the head of the Sekihoutai. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but the Sekihoutai were something akin to a modern-age Robin Hood and his gang; stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. My last name was also taken from Sagara-taichou's name; my way of keeping his memory alive."

Soujirou kept his silence, contemplating what Sanosuke was saying, even as the man continued to speak. "I joined the Sekihoutai then, and for five years, enjoyed being part of the group, always helping out on raids, but being kept away from the more dangerous matters. It was the closest thing that I had to a family back then. I was the youngest there, along with another boy, Katsu, and both of us looked up to Sagara-taichou as a father figure. He had given us the gift of life, and had taught us well how to appreciate what we had, to be satisfied with the hand that fate dealt us, and to always help others who were less fortunate."

"Fate that was so kind, however, turned cruel one day." Sadness tinged his voice and Soujirou's eyes widened slightly as he felt a flicker of heavy guilt come through in the older man's ki before it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.

"Some of the yakuza found our headquarters, and they attacked so suddenly that half our group was down before we even understood what was going on. Katsu and I wanted to join in the fight too, but Sagara-taichou pushed us into a trapdoor and then locked us in, refusing to allow us to fight. We were furious, of course, but also feared for taichou's life." His eyes closed, haunted by the pain.

Soujirou interrupted for the first time since Sanosuke had started recollecting his past. "Sanosuke, this is hurting you; you don't have to tell me this." His voice was soft in the darkness. Dark brown eyes cleared as he shook his head, sending raindrops splattering into his surroundings.

"No." He responded firmly. "I don't have to, but I want to tell you." He grinned suddenly. "So shut up, kappa and listen." The younger man smiled weakly at the nickname.

"The fight roared on above the trapdoor that was locked; we couldn't see shit-all but we heard everything. I could hear the thump of bodies on the floor, and the gunshots going off. It took forever to get out of that fucking trapdoor, but by the time we got out of it, the surprise attack was over." He paused for a second before continuing again. "It was the most horrible sight that I had ever seen. The place was literally drenched in blood. Bullet holes were ridden into the walls. There were dead bodies everywhere and each and every member of our group was dead. That wasn't the icing on the cake though." A grim tone entered his voice. "Sagara-taichou's head was adorned on a pole for all to see. I felt so helpless then. I hated myself because I hadn't been able to help, and I was so blinded with anger that all I could think about was revenge for his death; revenge for all their deaths. No words can explain the emotions that I felt back then."

"What happened?" Soujirou was sucked into the story, forgetting for the moment, his own guilt and anger.

"For two years, Katsu and I wandered through the underworld, as fighters-for-hire, trying to find the group that had massacred the rest of the Sekihoutai, closing off all our emotions except for anger and hate. I can't even begin to tell you how much I hated everyone then. I hated how other people were alive, while Sagara-taichou was dead, I hated the government for allowing such criminals to exist while they just sat back and did nothing about it. But most of all, I hated myself. I hated myself for being so weak and for being unable to help them. So I fought to grow stronger. My sanity was gradually being eaten away, and there was nothing that could stop it."

"But Katsura-san found me one day and asked me to join the Ishinshishi. To help others. I couldn't find it in myself to help others when there had been no one there to help us when the Sekihoutai was destroyed, and I was severely pissed. Where had they been when I needed them? I was shocked at how much he knew about my past, but I flatly refused him and walked away from the offer. He refused to give up, and slowly but surely, Katsu and I were able to regain our hold on sanity, and finally, we decided that we would indeed work for him. When I was 17, I left the underworld behind and joined the Ishinshishi, and here is where I am now."

"What I guess I'm trying to say here is that you have to understand that it was not your fault that those kids died. No matter what you say, there was no way that any of us would have been able to see that coming because it was so unexpected. Even if you beat yourself up over the issue, those kids sure ain't coming back." Soujirou wanted to protest and the blatant tone in Sanosuke's statement.

"But if you really want to put those regrets behind you, then look forward, to where you can make amends. Not back into the past where everything has already been set in stone. You may not have been able to save the ones that were lost, but you will be able to save the ones who will need your help in the times to come." The taller man pushed himself off of the bark on the tree, brushing the invisible lint off the back of his sweatpants. "And that, was what I really wanted to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back inside before I start freezing out here." His shoes crunched on the ground as he made his way back to the house, leaving Soujirou alone in the tree once again.

His blue eyes were wide as he contemplated Sanosuke's words in his mind. For someone who seemed to goof around so often, he sure gave good advice when it was required. Sano's talk had brushed away some of the guilt and self-hate that Soujirou had felt over the night, and it was nice to be free of the weight that had been bearing down on him earlier. Sanosuke's words echoed in his ears once again.

"If you really want to put those regrets behind you, then look forward, to where you can make amends."

Soujirou stood up on the branch slowly, trying to bring some vigour back into his joints which had gone stiff after being held in one position for so long. He hopped off the branch, landing easily on the ground with his katana in its sheath in one hand. 'I should go back now.' He thought to himself. It wouldn't do to worry Kaoru after such a traumatic night.

He made his way back to the house slowly, and this time, he was able to truly smile.

~*~

Tsubame cracked her eyes open to find that she was no longer in the large hall filled with a huge crowd of men. The dimly lit room showed that she was not alone. She met the mirror of her own chocolate brown eyes set in a boy's face. The young girl stared openly at him and he matched her stare; her fingers curled in the blanket she had been covered with.

"I see you're awake." Tsubame twisted around in the futon to the voice as Yahiko looked up to the doorway. The Empath got up from his spot on the floor and moved towards Kenshin.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be with Busu? And why aren't you sleeping anyway?" She was surprised to find that the voice belonged a red head that she had seen earlier in the hall. Fear dug its icy grip into her once again. She backed away from him, still within the futon.

"She was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up. I don't need that much sleep anyway, and I feel wide awake." Gentle violet eyes turned to regard the girl in the futon. He blinked at the terrified look on her face. "You're safe here now, there's nothing to worry about." His voice was soft and coaxing, but Tsubame's fear was deep-rooted. He took one step closer but she shrank back further; he sighed inwardly; he would just have to wake Kaoru up. Kenshin made to leave the room. "Yahiko, keep an eye on her for a second, I just need to wake Kaoru." The boy nodded and turned his attention back to the girl in the futon.

He had woken up when Sanosuke had walked through the door with the unconscious girl in his arms. Yahiko knew something was wrong from the moment that his eyes rested on the unconscious form. His eyes shifted to the slightly open front door; Kaoru and Kenshin were outside, and although he couldn't feel anything, the emotions that they were projecting told him that something had gone awfully wrong during the mission. His small brow furrowed slightly. "Where's Soujirou?" he asked as he followed Sanosuke up the stairs.

"Knowing him, he's probably gone up a tree somewhere." The spiky-haired man replied. "I'll have to go talk to him later, but for now, I'll put this lil' jou-chan over here to bed."

"What happened?" The boy asked after Sanosuke had tucked the girl into the covers, switching the lights to a dim glow and leaving the room. By the grim expression on Sano's face, it must have been pretty bad to warrant an 'all-fucked-up' situation in his book. Sanosuke looked at the boy, debating whether or not he should tell him. The determination in his face told him all that he needed to know. He sighed before narrating what Kaoru had told him.

"The mission failed. Someone sabotaged a van that was supposed the take fifteen kids to one of the safe houses, and the only one that they save was the girl here." He jerked his thumb towards the closed door of Kaoru's room. "The van exploded right before their eyes, and lets just say that their emotions right now are really screwed up." Sanosuke's dark eyes met Yahiko's. "Just don't ask them any questions right now. Jou-chan and Kenshin are probably gonna come in soon, and so will the Iceman and the itachi-musume. I'm going out to find the kappa now." Yahiko opened his mouth to protest, but shut it at the dark look that the man gave him.

"You stay here and look after the girl. I won't be too long." With that, the man was gone, leaving Yahiko standing in the corridor. He was surprised when Sanosuke popped his head around not two seconds later.

"By the way, jou-chan wants you to know that she kept her promise." Footsteps echoed on the stairs, and the turning of the knob on the front door told Yahiko that Sanosuke had truly left the house. A wry smile lit the boy's face as he turned the doorknob to Kaoru's room, closing it quietly behind him and taking up a spot close to the sleeping girl. He didn't even know that he had fallen asleep again until he heard the door open, and lifting his head, he saw that Kaoru was wrapping a blanket around him. She saw that his eyes had opened and offered a small smile.

"Tadaima." She whispered in an effort not to wake the girl. He could see that she had been crying; her eyes were red-rimmed and her complexion was pale and blotchy. The boy returned her smile with a tight hug.

"Okaeri." She squeezed him back. "I'm safe and sound, see? And everyone's home too." 'But at what cost?' The thought echoed in Yahiko's mind but he didn't voice it.

"Good." He settled on the one-word response.

"Tadaima." Kenshin's soft voice added to the room. "Yahiko, what are you doing awake?" His voice was tinged with slight disapproval as to what the young boy was doing up so late at night. "It's really late."

"Well, Sanosuke told me to look after her." He pointed to the still-sleeping figure in the futon.
Kenshin frowned slightly, brow furrowing. Kaoru yawned as she ruffled Yahiko's hair, earning a protest from the Empath, then got up. "What I need right now is some shut-eye time. If she wakes up Yahiko, can you come get me please? I'll be in Kenshin's room." The boy nodded in response as the pair closed the door behind them with a decisive click, leaving him in the barely illuminated darkness of the room.

Leaning back against the wall, he decided to observe what little he could see of the girl. Her hair was dark chocolate brown, almost black, contrasting drastically against fair skin; her eyes were closed in peaceful sleep even as her chest heaved softly with every breath she took. He absent-mindedly wondered what colour her eyes were, but the rustle of the blankets in the futon told her that she was awake. Yahiko watched as her eyes opened slowly; her eyes were as chocolate brown as his, and he could feel waves of confusion and trepidation roil off her as her eyes met his. Then Kenshin had walked in, and the girl had been scared.

Yahiko scratched his head, at a loss for words. The silence stretched somewhat awkwardly as Tsubame twisted her hands within the blankets again.

"Um…so…what's your name?" She looked up in surprise. "I'm Myojin Yahiko and I've been living here for about over a week or so. If you're wondering whether anyone here is going to hurt you, then you don't have to worry because they were the ones who saved you from…" Yahiko paused, not quite sure as to what he wanted to say. "…whatever or whomever was going to hurt you. So you can rest easy here, 'kay?"

Her quiet voice filled the room in response to his question. "Sanjou Tsubame desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu, Myojin-san." She was beginning to feel slightly more comfortable now that Yahiko had told her that no one was going to hurt her, but the slight fear was still there. The Empath, on the other hand, was wide-eyed; what had she called him? 'Myojin-san?! And I thought I was polite!' Any other thoughts that he had been having were cut off when Kaoru and Kenshin emerged through the door.

Kaoru immediately went to Tsubame's side, smiling kindly at the girl. "How are you feeling?" Tsubame recognized her as one of the women who had stood up for her at the auction. The icy demeanour that had been there at the auction was a total contrast to the kindness that radiated from the woman now. Kaoru touched the bruise on Tsubame's cheek lightly where the auctioneer had slapped her. "This looks pretty painful." She got up to leave, but a tug on her sweatpants stopped her, and she turned around to look at the girl.

"Please…please can you tell me what happened? I-I'd like to know how I got here." Kaoru noted the quiet tone of her voice and nodded, sitting back down in the spot that she had been earlier. Her eyes flicked to Kenshin momentarily and he nodded, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Kaoru's attention returned to Tsubame.

"To cut a long" 'and gruesome' Kaoru thought to herself. "Story short, we were able to save you from the auctioneer and those people back there in the hall. We left the place and then brought you back here."

"Where's everybody else?" It was an innocent question, but guilt flared up in Kaoru again.

"I'm sorry." Her eyes refused to meet Tsubame's as she looked down to the floor. Her tone of voice was soft and painful as she answered.

"Everyone else is dead." The young girl's eyes were wide in shock and horror and disbelief. "You were the only one that we could save. I'm sorry."

"Kaoru." She jerked her head up towards Yahiko. "Please stop blaming yourself. I…heard from Sano and it's not your fault. You couldn't have seen what was going to happen." Her smile was painful and twisted.

"But I should have." Tsubame felt a wave of compassion for the woman; even though she was a stranger, she could see that Kaoru was being weighed down by a guilt and pain that should not belong to her.

"Kaoru-san." Their attention returned to her. "I don't know what happened, or how it happened, but I somehow know that it isn't your fault. What happened to the others wasn't your fault." Her dark eyes met Kaoru's stricken blue. "I'm sure – I'm sure that they are in a better place now, free from the cruelty of the world, and they are happy. So…please, please stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault."

Kaoru was slightly taken aback with the quiet clarity and wisdom that seemed to come from the girl. Reaching for Tsubame's hands in a thank you, she smiled at the girl.

"Arigatou…" She still didn't know what the girl's name was yet.

"Tsubame. Sanjou Tsubame desu."

Kaoru enveloped the girl in a thankful hug.

"Arigatou, Tsubame-chan."

Maybe Tsubame was right, and maybe she was wrong, but whatever the case, Kaoru could feel some of the guilt easing off her shoulders. Maybe this time round, she had been unable to save them from dying, but maybe again, the children were truly happier where they were now that if they were still down on Earth.

'But next time…next time…I'll make sure that it won't happen again. I won't fail them again.' Small tears rolled down her cheeks as she hugged Tsubame.

And so the slow healing began.

Dictionary

Okashira – head/chief (of a group/organization)

Oniwa Banshuu – spy organization that Misao and Aoshi are part of

Jou-chan – 'little miss'

Itachi-musume – Weasel girl

Sekihoutai – in the manga/anime, this was a group of peasants who had banded together to fight, but the government framed them for something that they didn't do and killed them all. Sanosuke and Katsu were part of the Sekihoutai in the original story.

Taichou – commanding officer

Ishinshishi – group that Kenshin & co. work for

Busu – ugly, hag

Kappa – a mythical water demon. Found in some Japanese folk stories 

Tadaima – I'm home

Okaeri – welcome home

Sanjou Tsubame desu – I'm Sanjou Tsubame

Yoroshiku onegaishimasu – Nice to meet you

Notes:

(1) Sanosuke was in the Sekihoutai before joining Black Dawn.

(2) What Sano means here is that he wasn't being used by others as a tool or object, because he didn't have any paranormal abilities back then, unlike Yahiko, who had had them since he was a child.

A/N: Ahhhh! Finally done! That took forever to write, and I had to rack my brain, coz writer's block set in momentarily. Which totally sucked. Less darker than the last chapter, but still has tons of angst in it. Rah rah rah. 5000+ words so I hope that'll keep you occupied for the week (or not) until my next update. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, and I'll see you all in the next chapter!