Chapter 4: Flashbacks and Dreams


Remus walked quickly through the hallway towards the front room. Forgetting that he was 
supposed to stay where he was, Harry followed. Suddenly, he heard voices.

"Well I think that this is a horrible idea-"

"Calm down now, Molly-"

"Look at him! He shouldn't be out and about like this-"

Harry peeked into the room. Astonished, he saw that half of the Order of the Phoenix had
managed to cram themselves into Lupin's tiny front room: Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Kinglsey
Shaklebolt, Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, and a few others were all standing in a circle around-
his heart skipped a beat- Dumbledore! He stepped fully into view and gasped.

"Professor Dumbledore! I thought you were hurt?" Harry questioned. Dumbledore turned 
towards him, looking exhausted but with a smile on his face. He opened his mouth to 
answer, but Mrs. Weasley interrupted.

"He has just recovered from an injury that could have been FATAL and yet he insists
on travelling! Albus, you should be back at headquarters recovering; you'll catch cold
or get an infection or..." Molly trailed off, concern and anger in her eyes.

"Molly, dear, I will be quite all right," Dumbledore answered, ending the argument. He
turned to Harry. "Yes, as you know Harry, I was hurt. But with a bit of rest I should be
as good as new." He paused. "I still can't apparate, I had to use floo powder to get here,"
he said, brushing some ashes off of his celestial robes. "But back to the reason we have 
come - we are here to escort you to Grimmauld Place." Harry felt a lump form in his throat.
He still did not want to go back to Sirius' old house; he mostly wanted to tell this to 
Dumbledore, but decided against it. He looked up and nodded. Dumbledore looked at him, a 
twinkle in his eye. "I know this may be difficult for you, Harry, but it will be much safer."
Harry sighed. "Please go gather your belongings and we will leave now."

Harry headed upstairs, collecting his clothing which had been tossed all around the tiny 
bedroom. He noticed that this year, Tonks had not even followed him up the steps to help him
carry his things; they all had kept their distance, afraid to be in the way of his anger and
grief. He slammed the lid of his trunk shut. I wish they would all leave me alone, he 
thought to himself. I know I won't get any private time at Grimmauld Place; Ron will 
constantly be bugging me to play chess, Hermione will want to study, Fred and George will
want to talk about their joke shop... He sighed, dragging his things down the steps. 
Remus stood at the foot of the stairs, clutching the photo album, while the others had
remained in the front room. Harry reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Harry-" Remus started, dropping his voice and clearing his throat. "I won't be going to
Grimmauld Place with you. But I'll be sure to drop in frequently," he said, a note of 
determination in his voice. Harry nodded and continued on into the small room. By floo powder,
he traveled back to Grimmauld Place along with the rest of the Order. After an informal dinner,
during which Mrs. Weasley made several comments about how he was looking peaky, pale, thin, and
sick, he returned to his bedroom upstairs and lay on the bed,thinking of the day's events. Just
before he fell asleep, he remembered the photo album that he and Remus had been looking through, 
and realized he had never discovered who the pretty brown-haired woman was.

***********************

Remus Lupin lay awake in his own bed, missing Harry much more than he thought he would. Of course,
Harry had only been at his house for a short time, but it was so nice for once not to be alone.
He would have to move out of this tiny house in two months, he knew that; money was once again
running short and he knew the only way to make ends meet was to live in Grimmauld Place. He would
not be alone there, but the happy crowd made him feel even more distant from the rest of the Order.
He sighed, running his hand through his hair. Always alone. He had been for so long, so why was it
hitting him so hard now? He lay back onto his pillow and fell into a fitfull sleep.

********************

***A cold wind blows down an empty street, chilling the few people outside walking. A young couple reaches
a store window and peers inside. "How beautiful," sighs the woman happily, looking at a new dress robe
hanging in the window. The man looks away sadly.

"I wish I could buy it for you Adele, I really do, but you know I don't have a job again..."

"Oh Remus, I didn't mean that! I don't expect you to buy expensive things for me!" She frowns, worry
etched across her pretty face. "I know you love me; I don't need material posessions to tell me that."
Remus looks up and takes her hands in his own. 

"I wish I could. I wish I could buy you the whole world."***



***Two boys, one with sandy brown hair and one with messy jet-black hair, grin at each other. They turn
towards the voices they can hear off to their left and see two beautiful women talking and laughing.

"Bloody hell Remus, can you believe how lucky we are?" James asks, shaking his head.

"No; I still don't know how I managed to get a girl like Adele," he says, smiling. James turns to him,
grinning. 

"Are you going to ask her, Remus? Lily and I are going to dinner tonight, I'm going to ask her then."
A look of worry crosses his face. "I hope she says yes..." he whispers.

"James, of course she will. You have nothing to worry about. As for Adele... I'm waiting to ask until
the time is right. Marriage is such a big committment, and with my...condition... I'm not sure if she'll
have me... I don't really want to ask," he mumbled.

"Remus, you know she doesn't care about that. She'd say yes, I'm sure. Don't wait too long before you
ask her," he said warningly.***



***A young woman with brown hair and sparkling blue eyes runs across a field and collapses on a blanket,
giggling. A picnic lunch is spread across the blanket, and a young man with brown hair and chocolate-
colored eyes is searching through the picnic basket. "What are you getting now, Remus? Another dessert?
We already had one!" She laughs. 

"Not quite," he answers, smiling to appear calm but his breathing becoming ragged as the nervousness
inside him begins to tear him apart. His hand grasps a small box from inside the basket, and he draws
it out slowly. He drops to his knees in front of the woman, and her her hands fly up to her face as her
mouth drops open in surprise. 

"Oh, Rem..." she whispers.

"Adele... will you marry me?"***



***Remus breathes in unsteadily as he stares stunned at the Dark Mark hovering above a house. Not just
any house; HER house. She could still be alive, he thinks to himself frantically, breaking into a run.
Out of breath, he reaches the door and opens it wide. The stench of death surrounds him as he looks
hurriedly from room to room. Her family is here; her brother and sister, mother and father. But no sign
of Adele can be seen in the smoldering ruins of her former home. "Adele..." he whispers. "I'll find
you, I promise..."***



Remus Lupin awoke suddenly from his sleep, sweat pouring from his forehead and his breath coming in gasps.
Taking a deep breath, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get rid of the images in his head. The picture
he had seen with Harry today had awoken a sense of longing, his desire to be with Adele. Of course she
was with him in everything he did, in every moment. He had never thought it possible to miss her
more, but now he did. Now it was worse. Much worse. "Adele..." he moaned softly. "I know you're still
out there... come back to me, please..."

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