DISCLAIMER: Okay this is getting a bit tiresome. I do NOT own Harry Potter.
I think that should be extremely obvious by now! I am not, nor do I pretend
to be JK Rowling, the real genius behind Harry Potter.
A/N: Thanks a lot to my reviewers. Without you, this story would now be an abandoned one. A special thanks goes out to Samhaincat, my first reviewer and also my favourite author on ff.net. Sorry for taking sooo long to update. My story was deleted from my computer thanks to my little sister, and then I had the worst writer's block in history.
Okay first to make some things clear: In this story, Tom Riddle and Voldemort are not one and the same. Tom Riddle is human and capable of feelings such as remorse etc. Voldemort is a 'monster' and incapable of such feelings. This story never was and never will be slash.
And now for the chapter.
Reflections
After leaving Dumbledore's office, Harry continued running. If only he could leave all his problems behind. If only he could run away from it all. Only when he felt the cold wind against his face was he aware that he was a mere footstep away from the lake. Yet again he contemplated suicide, but he was certain that Dumbledore would stop him and then he would be constantly monitored. No it would be better to avoid a confrontation with any of them.
He understood now for the first time what the prophecy had meant. He was supposed to destroy Voldemort and in the process ensure that Tom Riddle was re-born. Oh he succeeded alright, with one flaw, he killed Riddle in the process! He was no better than Voldemort had been. He was nothing but a murderer. No matter what he did, he could not forget those remorse-clouded eyes. If those eyes had remained as expressionless as they usually were, then it would have been easier for Harry to accept the fact that he had killed him.
At that moment he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the lake. A bitter laugh escaped from behind the bars of his gritted teeth. * This is the reflection of Harry Potter, Light Side champion, Dumbledore's Golden Boy, and cold-blooded killer! He could no longer bear to look upon his image and so took up a handful of pebbles, throwing them vengefully into the water. Soon the small stone fragments became symbols of all of his burdens. Torrents of previously withheld emotions came pouring out as a rain of pebbles fell into the lake. Finally, drained of his energy, Harry sank onto the floor sobbing silently for the loss of his parents, his Godfather and the lives of many others, but most importantly for the loss of innocence.
He became suddenly aware that he was being observed. Turning around he met unreadable dark eyes instead of the twinkling blue ones he had expected to see. Instead of the long white hair and beard, greasy shoulder length black hair framed the face, for in front of him stood the Potion's Master. Half relieved that it was not Dumbledore and half expecting to see a mocking smirk, Harry faced the man before him.
Severus Snape could not believe that he was actually worried about Potter. He knew that his whole attitude towards the boy had changed since he had battled against the Dark Lord. Yet despite the fact that he had fulfilled the prophecy and that he had been the victor in one of the most crucial battles between good and evil, the boy did not seem to be the least bit relieved. In fact the only emotion the boy had shown were frustration and something that seemed to be close guilt if not guilt itself.
Although he knew that Potter was a strange boy, this was very unlike him. Severus was beginning to see that he could have been wrong all along; that maybe the boy was not like his father. He was even more surprised when he saw a hint of relief in the boy's eyes upon his arrival. Even when Potter raised a trembling hand to his untidy hair, the familiar gesture did not seem vain. In fact it only proved how frustrated he was. The Potions Master could not help but feel guilty about his actions towards the boy. He knew now that the teary-eyed boy before him was nothing like his two chief tormentors.
He went over to where the boy was sitting and sat down next to him. "Potter, forgive me if I am wrong, but I would have thought that with what you had accomplished today you would have been relieved for the least." He was nowhere near prepared for the response that he received. "What should I be relieved for? The fact that I became a murderer today?!" "Potter, do you always have to think about yourself? Can you never get over your belief that the world does not revolve around you? Even when you accomplish something so great for the world, must you be self-pitying? Would you have preferred if the Dark Lord had survived to take more innocent lives?"
"I would have preferred not to have killed Tom Riddle!" "Come on Potter, the person you destroyed was no longer Tom Riddle, it was a monster, Voldemort." "No, Professor. It was not Voldemort I killed. Voldemort is incapable of feeling. Before the full curse hit him I saw a hint of remorse in his eyes. It was no monster that I killed, but a human who regretted his actions."
This was more than the Potions-Master had expected and for a moment he almost could not believe what he heard. But the haunted look on Potter's face was enough to confirm it. "Potter..." he began after a long, uncomfortable pause, "if what you are saying is true, you gave Tom Riddle the greatest gift of all. You allowed him to become the closest thing to human he'd ever been for quite a long while before dying. You also gave him the gift of death. If he had not died, then you know what fate would have awaited him. He most likely realized that and was thankful to you for it."
While the professor spoke, the boy became more at ease with himself. If he had not killed Riddle, he would have faced something much worse than death, the Dementor's Kiss. Just thinking about that made him feel, for once, relieved that he did in fact kill the man. He would have hated himself if he had had to hand over someone to those Dementors. He smiled at the formerly hated Potions Master. "Thank you sir," he said a little shakily before continuing, "and I am truly sorry to have caused you all this trouble."
Snape... no Professor Snape replied, "Now Potter, one shock per day is quite enough, and I have had two. Don't make that three by acting civil now." For a moment Harry forgot all his troubles and allowed himself a laugh. "I think that I have had enough shocks today, Professor, but you had to increase it by actually making a joke!" Harry could not figure out why but he somehow felt quite comfortable speaking to the Potions Master.
"As good as it was to confirm the fact that you think I am a monster, we really should get back to the castle before the Headmaster decides to send someone to look for you!" Harry was genuinely touched. Those words confirmed that the man found him out of his own free will, something that he had never before done... well except when Harry was in trouble! They walked back towards the castle together yet neither of them uttered a single word. They had no need to speak. Of course there was much to say, but that was not the time.
Before they arrived in the Entrance Hall, Professor Snape stopped and turned to Harry. "Umm Potter, I was just thinking that maybe you may not want to stay by yourself tonight. If you like you may stay in my quarters tonight since ... you know...." Of course Harry knew what the Potions Master meant. He was thinking about the nightmares that they both knew Harry would have after his experience today. Mistaking Harry's silence for disapproval, the man quickly said, "I would understand if you choose not to, but at least allow me to give you a Dreamless Sleep Potion."
Harry did not know how to respond to this. Finally being on civil terms with Snape did not necessarily mean that he wanted to stay with him. However considering the circumstances, Harry decided that he would. He was sure that Dumbledore would not leave him alone and he would much more prefer to spend the night in the dungeons, or wherever Snape stayed instead of having to answer any questions tonight. "Err Professor, if you don't mind, I think I would stay with you tonight." Despite his surprise, the man replied, "Harry, if I minded, I would never have suggested it!"
Seeing the smile on the boy's face, Severus asked "What's so funny?" "Nothing's funny. It's just that you called me Harry for the first time." Severus sighed and commented wearily, "Today has been the first time for many things." He sighed again and started to say, "Look Harry, I just want to say that I'm ..." "No Professor." "Potter! Let me clear this up will you!" "I will! But not today! Besides, you have no need to say that you are sorry after the way that my father and Sirius treated you! I, on the other hand..." "No! You have absolutely no reason to apologize!" "But I..." "No Harry! And the topic is closed!" By this time, the two were nearly in the dungeons. Surprisingly enough, no one had stopped or confronted them. Harry began to wonder for the first time where exactly the Potions Master stayed. They reached the dungeons where Potions classes were held. The Professor walked up to a torch on the wall and tapped the fifth brick to the right of it. The bricks began to move apart strangely reminiscent of those in Diagon Alley.
A narrow corridor led them to a statue of a unicorn (who would have thought!). Snape said the password "flying high" out loud, assuring Harry that he had earned his trust. The statue for a moment looked like a real unicorn and started fading. A doorway opened leading into a magnificently furnished room.
Harry, not seeing the green goo on the floor, slipped on it and fell. His head hit the floor and blood began spreading across the floor. Severus fell to the ground, sobbing.
(NarnianPrincess conjures shield to protect herself from the flying foodstuff heading her way!) Don't worry! I will NEVER! do that, unless I really, really run out of ideas!
Harry looked around. This was definitely not what he had expected. There was not the slightest hint of silver and green. The walls were a warm shade of cream and the furniture was made of stained mahogany. Harry became suddenly aware of how weary he was. The Potion's Master did not miss this and immediately sent Harry to have a shower before they both had the dinner which had somehow been sent up to the rooms. Severus showed Harry into the bedroom giving him some Dreamless Sleep Potion. The boy fell asleep with a smile on his face.
A/N: Thanks a lot to my reviewers. Without you, this story would now be an abandoned one. A special thanks goes out to Samhaincat, my first reviewer and also my favourite author on ff.net. Sorry for taking sooo long to update. My story was deleted from my computer thanks to my little sister, and then I had the worst writer's block in history.
Okay first to make some things clear: In this story, Tom Riddle and Voldemort are not one and the same. Tom Riddle is human and capable of feelings such as remorse etc. Voldemort is a 'monster' and incapable of such feelings. This story never was and never will be slash.
And now for the chapter.
Reflections
After leaving Dumbledore's office, Harry continued running. If only he could leave all his problems behind. If only he could run away from it all. Only when he felt the cold wind against his face was he aware that he was a mere footstep away from the lake. Yet again he contemplated suicide, but he was certain that Dumbledore would stop him and then he would be constantly monitored. No it would be better to avoid a confrontation with any of them.
He understood now for the first time what the prophecy had meant. He was supposed to destroy Voldemort and in the process ensure that Tom Riddle was re-born. Oh he succeeded alright, with one flaw, he killed Riddle in the process! He was no better than Voldemort had been. He was nothing but a murderer. No matter what he did, he could not forget those remorse-clouded eyes. If those eyes had remained as expressionless as they usually were, then it would have been easier for Harry to accept the fact that he had killed him.
At that moment he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the lake. A bitter laugh escaped from behind the bars of his gritted teeth. * This is the reflection of Harry Potter, Light Side champion, Dumbledore's Golden Boy, and cold-blooded killer! He could no longer bear to look upon his image and so took up a handful of pebbles, throwing them vengefully into the water. Soon the small stone fragments became symbols of all of his burdens. Torrents of previously withheld emotions came pouring out as a rain of pebbles fell into the lake. Finally, drained of his energy, Harry sank onto the floor sobbing silently for the loss of his parents, his Godfather and the lives of many others, but most importantly for the loss of innocence.
He became suddenly aware that he was being observed. Turning around he met unreadable dark eyes instead of the twinkling blue ones he had expected to see. Instead of the long white hair and beard, greasy shoulder length black hair framed the face, for in front of him stood the Potion's Master. Half relieved that it was not Dumbledore and half expecting to see a mocking smirk, Harry faced the man before him.
Severus Snape could not believe that he was actually worried about Potter. He knew that his whole attitude towards the boy had changed since he had battled against the Dark Lord. Yet despite the fact that he had fulfilled the prophecy and that he had been the victor in one of the most crucial battles between good and evil, the boy did not seem to be the least bit relieved. In fact the only emotion the boy had shown were frustration and something that seemed to be close guilt if not guilt itself.
Although he knew that Potter was a strange boy, this was very unlike him. Severus was beginning to see that he could have been wrong all along; that maybe the boy was not like his father. He was even more surprised when he saw a hint of relief in the boy's eyes upon his arrival. Even when Potter raised a trembling hand to his untidy hair, the familiar gesture did not seem vain. In fact it only proved how frustrated he was. The Potions Master could not help but feel guilty about his actions towards the boy. He knew now that the teary-eyed boy before him was nothing like his two chief tormentors.
He went over to where the boy was sitting and sat down next to him. "Potter, forgive me if I am wrong, but I would have thought that with what you had accomplished today you would have been relieved for the least." He was nowhere near prepared for the response that he received. "What should I be relieved for? The fact that I became a murderer today?!" "Potter, do you always have to think about yourself? Can you never get over your belief that the world does not revolve around you? Even when you accomplish something so great for the world, must you be self-pitying? Would you have preferred if the Dark Lord had survived to take more innocent lives?"
"I would have preferred not to have killed Tom Riddle!" "Come on Potter, the person you destroyed was no longer Tom Riddle, it was a monster, Voldemort." "No, Professor. It was not Voldemort I killed. Voldemort is incapable of feeling. Before the full curse hit him I saw a hint of remorse in his eyes. It was no monster that I killed, but a human who regretted his actions."
This was more than the Potions-Master had expected and for a moment he almost could not believe what he heard. But the haunted look on Potter's face was enough to confirm it. "Potter..." he began after a long, uncomfortable pause, "if what you are saying is true, you gave Tom Riddle the greatest gift of all. You allowed him to become the closest thing to human he'd ever been for quite a long while before dying. You also gave him the gift of death. If he had not died, then you know what fate would have awaited him. He most likely realized that and was thankful to you for it."
While the professor spoke, the boy became more at ease with himself. If he had not killed Riddle, he would have faced something much worse than death, the Dementor's Kiss. Just thinking about that made him feel, for once, relieved that he did in fact kill the man. He would have hated himself if he had had to hand over someone to those Dementors. He smiled at the formerly hated Potions Master. "Thank you sir," he said a little shakily before continuing, "and I am truly sorry to have caused you all this trouble."
Snape... no Professor Snape replied, "Now Potter, one shock per day is quite enough, and I have had two. Don't make that three by acting civil now." For a moment Harry forgot all his troubles and allowed himself a laugh. "I think that I have had enough shocks today, Professor, but you had to increase it by actually making a joke!" Harry could not figure out why but he somehow felt quite comfortable speaking to the Potions Master.
"As good as it was to confirm the fact that you think I am a monster, we really should get back to the castle before the Headmaster decides to send someone to look for you!" Harry was genuinely touched. Those words confirmed that the man found him out of his own free will, something that he had never before done... well except when Harry was in trouble! They walked back towards the castle together yet neither of them uttered a single word. They had no need to speak. Of course there was much to say, but that was not the time.
Before they arrived in the Entrance Hall, Professor Snape stopped and turned to Harry. "Umm Potter, I was just thinking that maybe you may not want to stay by yourself tonight. If you like you may stay in my quarters tonight since ... you know...." Of course Harry knew what the Potions Master meant. He was thinking about the nightmares that they both knew Harry would have after his experience today. Mistaking Harry's silence for disapproval, the man quickly said, "I would understand if you choose not to, but at least allow me to give you a Dreamless Sleep Potion."
Harry did not know how to respond to this. Finally being on civil terms with Snape did not necessarily mean that he wanted to stay with him. However considering the circumstances, Harry decided that he would. He was sure that Dumbledore would not leave him alone and he would much more prefer to spend the night in the dungeons, or wherever Snape stayed instead of having to answer any questions tonight. "Err Professor, if you don't mind, I think I would stay with you tonight." Despite his surprise, the man replied, "Harry, if I minded, I would never have suggested it!"
Seeing the smile on the boy's face, Severus asked "What's so funny?" "Nothing's funny. It's just that you called me Harry for the first time." Severus sighed and commented wearily, "Today has been the first time for many things." He sighed again and started to say, "Look Harry, I just want to say that I'm ..." "No Professor." "Potter! Let me clear this up will you!" "I will! But not today! Besides, you have no need to say that you are sorry after the way that my father and Sirius treated you! I, on the other hand..." "No! You have absolutely no reason to apologize!" "But I..." "No Harry! And the topic is closed!" By this time, the two were nearly in the dungeons. Surprisingly enough, no one had stopped or confronted them. Harry began to wonder for the first time where exactly the Potions Master stayed. They reached the dungeons where Potions classes were held. The Professor walked up to a torch on the wall and tapped the fifth brick to the right of it. The bricks began to move apart strangely reminiscent of those in Diagon Alley.
A narrow corridor led them to a statue of a unicorn (who would have thought!). Snape said the password "flying high" out loud, assuring Harry that he had earned his trust. The statue for a moment looked like a real unicorn and started fading. A doorway opened leading into a magnificently furnished room.
Harry, not seeing the green goo on the floor, slipped on it and fell. His head hit the floor and blood began spreading across the floor. Severus fell to the ground, sobbing.
(NarnianPrincess conjures shield to protect herself from the flying foodstuff heading her way!) Don't worry! I will NEVER! do that, unless I really, really run out of ideas!
Harry looked around. This was definitely not what he had expected. There was not the slightest hint of silver and green. The walls were a warm shade of cream and the furniture was made of stained mahogany. Harry became suddenly aware of how weary he was. The Potion's Master did not miss this and immediately sent Harry to have a shower before they both had the dinner which had somehow been sent up to the rooms. Severus showed Harry into the bedroom giving him some Dreamless Sleep Potion. The boy fell asleep with a smile on his face.
