Chapter Four
I don't actually know where this chapter came from, I guess as a senior in high school I've put what I've learned about high school into this chapter, anyway I hope you like it!
"Miranda, don't say that." Lizzie begs, trying to avoid crying in front of Miranda.
"All right, so what should I say?" Miranda's voice is cold, "should I say, oh hey guys, what's up?"
"Is that what you want us to say?" Gordo inquires, "Do you want us to pretend that nothing happened, because we can do that?"
"That's not what I want?"
"Then what do you want?" Lizzie asks, "cause if we can do anything, we will."
"I want you two to leave me alone. You don't know me anymore, you don't know anything about me. So stop pretending you care because you feel guilty."
Gordo looks over at Lizzie who has tears streaming down her cheeks. With a sob Lizzie flees the hospital room. "Are you sure you want us to leave?" When Miranda doesn't say anything else Gordo whispers, "cal us if you need anything, we'll be ready to help if you need us." Once again Miranda doesn't respond so Gordo slips out the door only to find Lizzie sitting on the floor, her knees to her chest, sobbing.
"Lizzie, get up, come on, you are making a scene." Gordo states before thinking and then he sighs, this is what his life had become. There had been a time when he would have been on the floor with Lizzie attempting to comfort her. Dave had become a bitter and cynical person, nothing like the Gordo Lizzie had known.
Lizzie looks up at Gordo, her brown eyes filled with tears, "how can you just say `that. She hates us, she doesn't want anything to do with us."
Gordo sighs and sinks down next to Lizzie. "If she wants out help then she'll have to ask us for it. We can't force out help on her, not if she doesn't want it."
"I just want things to go back to the way they were. I just want to go back to Freshman year when things were so easy."
Gordo leans his head back against the tile wall, "I know what you mean. As the years go on it seems like things keep getting harder. Graces, college applications...."
"Keeping up appearances." Lizzie's voice is shaking as she says the words, wiping at the tears still streaming down her cheeks, "I'm ready to get home, do you want me to take you back to school?"
"No, it's all right, I think I'm going to hand around here for awhile, I'll take a bus back to school."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure, I'll talk to you later."
When Lizzie walked into her house an hour early her mother seemed to be waiting for her. "The school called," Jo comments setting down her mug of coffee. "You didn't show up at any of your classes."
"Gordo and I went to the hospital."
"All right, how is Miranda doing?" Jo asks.
"I wouldn't know, she wouldn't see us, I'm going to sleep."
"I'll call you in if you want."
Lizzie shrugs, "whatever."
Lizzie is crawling into bed when her cell phone rang, "what?" Lizzie asks sharply.
"For someone who didn't show up to any of her classes you sure are in a bad mood." It's Amy, another girl in the school play and a friend of both Lizzie's and Bruni's.
"It's been a long day." Lizzie sighs.
"Well I have a suggestion for a good way to end it. Sophie said practice ran well this morning and she's giving us a free Friday night."
"I couldn't have gone to practice anyway, I didn't go to class so it doesn't much matter either way to me."
"Right, so you didn't know that Bruni's parents are out of town and she's throwing a party."
"I don't think so." Lizzie responds.
"Come on, you can loosen up. You know Bruni, there'll be great music, you can dance, hang out. Come on her mom just catered a wedding there's left over food. Good music, good food..."
"Good alcohol." Lizzie states bitterly.
"Oh, come on Lizzie, you don't have to drink. It'll be fun and you can loosen up."
"I'm not drinking."
"You know I won't force you."
"I'll talk to my parents."
"Great, I'll pick you up at seven, all right?"
By 6:50 Lizzie was ready to leave, her mother had only allowed her to go because she need to cool off, Amy showed up on time in the red mustang that had been a 18th birthday present from her parents.
"Bye Mom!" Lizzie calls before hurrying out of the house and five minutes later they pulled up in front of Bruni's huge house. Lizzie groans inwardly, Kate, a friend of Bruni's as well, was standng near the entrance.
"I figured you'd be at the hospital." Kate comments.
"Well I'm not." Lizzie hisses before continuing inward.
"What's she talking about?" Amy questions.
"Nothing."
"Hello ladies." Brie, Bruni's twin brother, approaches them wearing his mother's cheesy pink and edged in white lace apron and carrying a tray of short glasses full of amber liquid. "Can I offer you a drink?"
"Lizzie isn't drinking and I pass too." Amy responds.
Lizzie stops a minute as her brain is launched into an internal battle, every part of her wanted to take that drink. How many times in the last month had she had this internal battle and beat the urge? "Screw it." Lizzie announces grabbing the shot glass off of Brice's tray.
"Elizabeth!" Amy exclaims. Lizzie downs the hard liquor before Amy can talk her out of it and she quickly swallows a second round. "Brice, go." Amy orders before turning on Lizzie, "what the hell are you doing?"
"What's the point?" Lizzie asks, "you live, you die, you might as well have a good time in-between."
"Beth, a month ago you gave up drinking. You said you were done not being able to remember any of your weekends. Drinking yourself asleep, you said you were done with all of it."
Lizzie can feel the pain surface again, despite how the alcohol had numbed it seconds earlier. "Amy stop! I don't want to have this conversation! I'm here to have a good time, I'll catch you later."
Gordo had been lying in his bedroom for an hour, his parents thought he was asleep. Gordo had avoided his parents all afternoon and in into the evening. He knew they got the call from school, he'd checked caller ID every time the phone rang, he couldn't figure out if he was hoping Miranda would call, or Lizzie. When the phone rang at 10:30 Gordo glanced at the caller ID and not recognizing the number Gordo dropped the phone back on his bed.
Several seconds later there was a knock on his door and his mother called softly, "David, the telephone is for you!"
"Who is it?" Gordo calls back.
"Kate." Gordo's mother sounds surprised.
Gordo rolls his eyes, "tell her I'm not taking calls."
"She says it's important."
Gordo sighs and picks up the phone beside him, "what do you want Kate?"
"I thought you should know," Kate's voice is muffled by the sound of a lot of other voices, "I'm at a party and Lizzie's here, she's a little plastered, she may need a ride home."
"Can't you take her home?"
"I could but I think you should."
"Fine, where are you?" Gordo gets the address and hands up the phone. "Dammit."
"Where are you going David?" Roberta Gordon asks when Gordo storms out of his room.
"I have to take care of something." Gordo responds, "a friend needs."
"All right, be safe."
Gordo swings into an empty spot along the sidewalk and slamming his door he hurries up the driveway. "Where is she?" Gordo asks Kate, whom he spots right away.
"Well knowing Lizzie at these parties, on the dance floor or wherever the alcohol is."
Gordo is taken aback by this statement, this didn't sound like the Lizzie he had grown up with and Gordo suddenly remembers Lizzie's statement earlier that day, about keeping up appearances. Gordo heads straight for the dance floor. Gordo sighs when he can't find her in the throng of people there. Turning around Gordo begins to search the large house for where the alcohol was located. He finds Lizzie first, she has a red plastic cup in her hand.
"Gordo!" Lizzie exclaims hurrying over to Gordo, placing her hands enthusiastically on his chest. Patting his chest she asks, "are you having fun?"
"I just got here." Gordo responds.
"Oh, well, the kegs over there." Lizzie giggles and moves the direction her arm is pointing in, "or over there, I can't remember. But," Lizzie's arms flail, "I can show you."
"No, I'm good, why don't we get going?"
"Going where?" Lizzie asks, "cause, I'm not gonna have sex with you." Lizzie sing songs.
"I was thinking something more along the lines of leaving the party."
"What? Why? That's silly." Lizzie pushes Gordo's chest weakly.
"Come on Lizzie," Gordo slightly grabs Lizzie's arm.
"No!" Lizzie jerks her arm away from Gordo, "I wanna dance."
Gordo catches Ethan's gaze over Lizzie's shoulder. Ethan looks sad and he makes his way through the people, "hey McGuire." Ethan greets.
"Ethan!" Lizzie giggles, "how are you?" Lizzie throws her arms around Ethan's neck. "I'd have sex with you."
"Lizzie why don't you go with Gordo?" Ethan asks.
Lizzie glances up at Ethan and before she can say anything she collapses into his arms. "I'll carry her to your car." Ethan offers.
"Thanks," Gordo responds and once the two guys, who haven't spoken in years move several yard Gordo breaks the silence. "Does she do this often?"
Ethan is slow to answer ,"she hasn't in awhile, but she used to, although usually not this bad. I don't know if I've seen her this bad since the first time she got drunk." Gordo must have a strange expression on her face because Than explains, "she's not the same as she was when you were all friends."
"But at school she seems so put together." Gordo states opening the passenger door.
"Gordon, man, for someone so smart you don't seem to get it. In high school no one is anything like they seem to be in high school. Everyone plays a role in high school, some are better at hiding it than others. Lizzie is excellent at hiding how miserable she is, she's got serious drinking problems and self-esteem, don't go there. And your friend Alan, I bet you don't know he is a crack addict." Ethan lifts his eyebrows, "never would have guessed it, he hides it well."
"All right I admit Lizzie and Alan shock me, but that's not everyone, there are normal people in high school, happy people..."
"Maybe, but everyone has a secret to hide, some people have to many secrets. To many secrets to hide from everyone that sometimes it just seems like it would be easier not to have to deal with any of it anymore."
I don't actually know where this chapter came from, I guess as a senior in high school I've put what I've learned about high school into this chapter, anyway I hope you like it!
"Miranda, don't say that." Lizzie begs, trying to avoid crying in front of Miranda.
"All right, so what should I say?" Miranda's voice is cold, "should I say, oh hey guys, what's up?"
"Is that what you want us to say?" Gordo inquires, "Do you want us to pretend that nothing happened, because we can do that?"
"That's not what I want?"
"Then what do you want?" Lizzie asks, "cause if we can do anything, we will."
"I want you two to leave me alone. You don't know me anymore, you don't know anything about me. So stop pretending you care because you feel guilty."
Gordo looks over at Lizzie who has tears streaming down her cheeks. With a sob Lizzie flees the hospital room. "Are you sure you want us to leave?" When Miranda doesn't say anything else Gordo whispers, "cal us if you need anything, we'll be ready to help if you need us." Once again Miranda doesn't respond so Gordo slips out the door only to find Lizzie sitting on the floor, her knees to her chest, sobbing.
"Lizzie, get up, come on, you are making a scene." Gordo states before thinking and then he sighs, this is what his life had become. There had been a time when he would have been on the floor with Lizzie attempting to comfort her. Dave had become a bitter and cynical person, nothing like the Gordo Lizzie had known.
Lizzie looks up at Gordo, her brown eyes filled with tears, "how can you just say `that. She hates us, she doesn't want anything to do with us."
Gordo sighs and sinks down next to Lizzie. "If she wants out help then she'll have to ask us for it. We can't force out help on her, not if she doesn't want it."
"I just want things to go back to the way they were. I just want to go back to Freshman year when things were so easy."
Gordo leans his head back against the tile wall, "I know what you mean. As the years go on it seems like things keep getting harder. Graces, college applications...."
"Keeping up appearances." Lizzie's voice is shaking as she says the words, wiping at the tears still streaming down her cheeks, "I'm ready to get home, do you want me to take you back to school?"
"No, it's all right, I think I'm going to hand around here for awhile, I'll take a bus back to school."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure, I'll talk to you later."
When Lizzie walked into her house an hour early her mother seemed to be waiting for her. "The school called," Jo comments setting down her mug of coffee. "You didn't show up at any of your classes."
"Gordo and I went to the hospital."
"All right, how is Miranda doing?" Jo asks.
"I wouldn't know, she wouldn't see us, I'm going to sleep."
"I'll call you in if you want."
Lizzie shrugs, "whatever."
Lizzie is crawling into bed when her cell phone rang, "what?" Lizzie asks sharply.
"For someone who didn't show up to any of her classes you sure are in a bad mood." It's Amy, another girl in the school play and a friend of both Lizzie's and Bruni's.
"It's been a long day." Lizzie sighs.
"Well I have a suggestion for a good way to end it. Sophie said practice ran well this morning and she's giving us a free Friday night."
"I couldn't have gone to practice anyway, I didn't go to class so it doesn't much matter either way to me."
"Right, so you didn't know that Bruni's parents are out of town and she's throwing a party."
"I don't think so." Lizzie responds.
"Come on, you can loosen up. You know Bruni, there'll be great music, you can dance, hang out. Come on her mom just catered a wedding there's left over food. Good music, good food..."
"Good alcohol." Lizzie states bitterly.
"Oh, come on Lizzie, you don't have to drink. It'll be fun and you can loosen up."
"I'm not drinking."
"You know I won't force you."
"I'll talk to my parents."
"Great, I'll pick you up at seven, all right?"
By 6:50 Lizzie was ready to leave, her mother had only allowed her to go because she need to cool off, Amy showed up on time in the red mustang that had been a 18th birthday present from her parents.
"Bye Mom!" Lizzie calls before hurrying out of the house and five minutes later they pulled up in front of Bruni's huge house. Lizzie groans inwardly, Kate, a friend of Bruni's as well, was standng near the entrance.
"I figured you'd be at the hospital." Kate comments.
"Well I'm not." Lizzie hisses before continuing inward.
"What's she talking about?" Amy questions.
"Nothing."
"Hello ladies." Brie, Bruni's twin brother, approaches them wearing his mother's cheesy pink and edged in white lace apron and carrying a tray of short glasses full of amber liquid. "Can I offer you a drink?"
"Lizzie isn't drinking and I pass too." Amy responds.
Lizzie stops a minute as her brain is launched into an internal battle, every part of her wanted to take that drink. How many times in the last month had she had this internal battle and beat the urge? "Screw it." Lizzie announces grabbing the shot glass off of Brice's tray.
"Elizabeth!" Amy exclaims. Lizzie downs the hard liquor before Amy can talk her out of it and she quickly swallows a second round. "Brice, go." Amy orders before turning on Lizzie, "what the hell are you doing?"
"What's the point?" Lizzie asks, "you live, you die, you might as well have a good time in-between."
"Beth, a month ago you gave up drinking. You said you were done not being able to remember any of your weekends. Drinking yourself asleep, you said you were done with all of it."
Lizzie can feel the pain surface again, despite how the alcohol had numbed it seconds earlier. "Amy stop! I don't want to have this conversation! I'm here to have a good time, I'll catch you later."
Gordo had been lying in his bedroom for an hour, his parents thought he was asleep. Gordo had avoided his parents all afternoon and in into the evening. He knew they got the call from school, he'd checked caller ID every time the phone rang, he couldn't figure out if he was hoping Miranda would call, or Lizzie. When the phone rang at 10:30 Gordo glanced at the caller ID and not recognizing the number Gordo dropped the phone back on his bed.
Several seconds later there was a knock on his door and his mother called softly, "David, the telephone is for you!"
"Who is it?" Gordo calls back.
"Kate." Gordo's mother sounds surprised.
Gordo rolls his eyes, "tell her I'm not taking calls."
"She says it's important."
Gordo sighs and picks up the phone beside him, "what do you want Kate?"
"I thought you should know," Kate's voice is muffled by the sound of a lot of other voices, "I'm at a party and Lizzie's here, she's a little plastered, she may need a ride home."
"Can't you take her home?"
"I could but I think you should."
"Fine, where are you?" Gordo gets the address and hands up the phone. "Dammit."
"Where are you going David?" Roberta Gordon asks when Gordo storms out of his room.
"I have to take care of something." Gordo responds, "a friend needs."
"All right, be safe."
Gordo swings into an empty spot along the sidewalk and slamming his door he hurries up the driveway. "Where is she?" Gordo asks Kate, whom he spots right away.
"Well knowing Lizzie at these parties, on the dance floor or wherever the alcohol is."
Gordo is taken aback by this statement, this didn't sound like the Lizzie he had grown up with and Gordo suddenly remembers Lizzie's statement earlier that day, about keeping up appearances. Gordo heads straight for the dance floor. Gordo sighs when he can't find her in the throng of people there. Turning around Gordo begins to search the large house for where the alcohol was located. He finds Lizzie first, she has a red plastic cup in her hand.
"Gordo!" Lizzie exclaims hurrying over to Gordo, placing her hands enthusiastically on his chest. Patting his chest she asks, "are you having fun?"
"I just got here." Gordo responds.
"Oh, well, the kegs over there." Lizzie giggles and moves the direction her arm is pointing in, "or over there, I can't remember. But," Lizzie's arms flail, "I can show you."
"No, I'm good, why don't we get going?"
"Going where?" Lizzie asks, "cause, I'm not gonna have sex with you." Lizzie sing songs.
"I was thinking something more along the lines of leaving the party."
"What? Why? That's silly." Lizzie pushes Gordo's chest weakly.
"Come on Lizzie," Gordo slightly grabs Lizzie's arm.
"No!" Lizzie jerks her arm away from Gordo, "I wanna dance."
Gordo catches Ethan's gaze over Lizzie's shoulder. Ethan looks sad and he makes his way through the people, "hey McGuire." Ethan greets.
"Ethan!" Lizzie giggles, "how are you?" Lizzie throws her arms around Ethan's neck. "I'd have sex with you."
"Lizzie why don't you go with Gordo?" Ethan asks.
Lizzie glances up at Ethan and before she can say anything she collapses into his arms. "I'll carry her to your car." Ethan offers.
"Thanks," Gordo responds and once the two guys, who haven't spoken in years move several yard Gordo breaks the silence. "Does she do this often?"
Ethan is slow to answer ,"she hasn't in awhile, but she used to, although usually not this bad. I don't know if I've seen her this bad since the first time she got drunk." Gordo must have a strange expression on her face because Than explains, "she's not the same as she was when you were all friends."
"But at school she seems so put together." Gordo states opening the passenger door.
"Gordon, man, for someone so smart you don't seem to get it. In high school no one is anything like they seem to be in high school. Everyone plays a role in high school, some are better at hiding it than others. Lizzie is excellent at hiding how miserable she is, she's got serious drinking problems and self-esteem, don't go there. And your friend Alan, I bet you don't know he is a crack addict." Ethan lifts his eyebrows, "never would have guessed it, he hides it well."
"All right I admit Lizzie and Alan shock me, but that's not everyone, there are normal people in high school, happy people..."
"Maybe, but everyone has a secret to hide, some people have to many secrets. To many secrets to hide from everyone that sometimes it just seems like it would be easier not to have to deal with any of it anymore."
