Hullo! I be Haily Comet, ferret leader of the Juskacom! Yeah, so you see no weasels or ferrets, huh? They're conquering REDWALL! MWA HA HA HA HA HA! Anyway…A short fic I decide to make. *If you think I am a hamster, then you are wrong!*
Kilconey walked onwards, a pack slung over his back. Birds in treetops stared strangely at him, and they had a reason to, too. The ferret was clad in a hare's ears, a fox's feet, an otter's tail, a mouse's paws, and a pair of squirrel teeth hung in his mouth. This was not the Kilconey who was part of Cluny's army!
"Aye, so, ye wants to know how I became like this, eh? Well, 'suppose I could tell ya!"
At the battle of Redwall
Before Cluny was felled
Blocking out war cries and calls.
I decided I would run away
And try to change me life
Yet no matter how hard I tried
I was stricken always with strife!
I tried to lead a vermin Juska clan
But there was just one problem
All the vixen's mumbo jumbo
Did not fit my nice, new plan!
So I headed to Mossflower's river
To try to become an otter
So I stuck on a rudder tail, but
I was pushed hither and then thither
But I kept the rudder tail
You know, just in case
So if I was ever pushed into a river
I wouldn't sink like a heavy pail (well, maybe I would, in face, I definitely would)
So I decided at the Abbey to become friar
So I donned some mice paws.
But no sooner I had stepped into the kitchens
The friar smacked me and called me a DIRTY VERMIN LIAR!
Then I thought 'Tree climbing's just for me'
So I put on a pair o' squirrel's front teeth
Went up to a great tall oak
And tried to climb a tree!
But alas, I fell and broke a bone
Or two, or maybe three
And because I looked stylish in treewhiffler's teeth
I kept the squirrel teeth I had donned.
Then I figured I was rather sly
A clever fox I would be
So I put on some quiet fox feet
And robbing I did try.
But I got caught quite quickly
So I tired to take off the feet
But the would not budge, the glue was strong
So I left 'em on, the glue I did not beat.
This is my life's story
And I still roam to this day
Trying to find a new life for me
I could or could not, but really, who can say?
