Hullo! I be Haily Comet, ferret leader of the Juskacom! Yeah, so you see no weasels or ferrets, huh? They're conquering REDWALL! MWA HA HA HA HA HA! Anyway…A short fic I decide to make. *If you think I am a hamster, then you are wrong!*

            Kilconey walked onwards, a pack slung over his back.  Birds in treetops stared strangely at him, and they had a reason to, too.  The ferret was clad in a hare's ears, a fox's feet, an otter's tail, a mouse's paws, and a pair of squirrel teeth hung in his mouth.  This was not the Kilconey who was part of Cluny's army!

            "Aye, so, ye wants to know how I became like this, eh?  Well, 'suppose I could tell ya!"

At the battle of Redwall

Before Cluny was felled

Blocking out war cries and calls.

I decided I would run away

And try to change me life

Yet no matter how hard I tried

I was stricken always with strife!

I tried to lead a vermin Juska clan

But there was just one problem

All the vixen's mumbo jumbo

Did not fit my nice, new plan!

So I headed to Mossflower's river

To try to become an otter

So I stuck on a rudder tail, but

I was pushed hither and then thither

But I kept the rudder tail

You know, just in case

So if I was ever pushed into a river

I wouldn't sink like a heavy pail (well, maybe I would, in face, I definitely would)

So I decided at the Abbey to become friar

So I donned some mice paws.

But no sooner I had stepped into the kitchens

The friar smacked me and called me a DIRTY VERMIN LIAR!

Then I thought 'Tree climbing's just for me'

So I put on a pair o' squirrel's front teeth

Went up to a great tall oak

And tried to climb a tree!

But alas, I fell and broke a bone

Or two, or maybe three

And because I looked stylish in treewhiffler's teeth

I kept the squirrel teeth I had donned.

Then I figured I was rather sly

A clever fox I would be

So I put on some quiet fox feet

And robbing I did try.

But I got caught quite quickly

So I tired to take off the feet

But the would not budge, the glue was strong

So I left 'em on, the glue I did not beat.

This is my life's story

And I still roam to this day

Trying to find a new life for me

I could or could not, but really, who can say?