Chapter 20: The Management of Grief Rachel stumbled down the dark tunnel, tripping over a rock. She fell forward, grasping Harry's forearm as she fell. He steadied her worldlessly and continued moving on quickly into the darkness. Rachel followed, panting. "Harry... Where are we going? Can you tell me yet?" she asked, exasperated and out of breath. "Just a bit further..." he replied, but to Rachel the path seemed just as empty and dark as it had been previously. Her mind was moving a million miles an hour. Where is he taking me? What is going on? she wondered silently to herself, a sense of uneasiness settling over her mind. A thought struck her suddenly. Do I trust him? she asked herself. Of course, she answered, shaking her head at her foolishness. She was shaken from her thoughts as she ran face-first into Harry, who had stopped suddenly in front of a dusty ladder that led to a wooden trapdoor in the ceiling; a tiny crack in the wood let in a stream of dust-filled light. Rachel looked up curiously. "Where are we?" she asked, dumbfounded. Harry turned to her, his face smeared with dirt from their rapid trip to the end of the tunnel. "Underneath Honeyduke's," he replied, grinning. "Wha- why?" He laughed at Rachel's apparent confusion. "You wanted dress robes," he replied simply. Her mouth dropped open. "You mean... we're in Hogsmeade? We're going to go shopping?" she squealed, the realization of the situation finally dawning on her. Harry laughed. "Come on, and make sure to keep your voice down," he said, putting his foot on the first rung. "We end up in the backroom of Honeyduke's and I don't think they'd like us being there..." They climbed the ladder quietly, and crawled out of the opening. Immediately Harry heard the sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs at the front of the small storage room. "Rachel! Over here!" he hissed, pulling her behind a box marked "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans". They both held their breath as a man rummaged through a carton on the other side of the room. Rachel was suddenly very aware of Harry's hand resting on her back. Her heart began to beat faster; it was beating so loudly that she was amazed the man who was in the room with them couldn't hear. She had butterflies in her stomach. What is going on with me? she wondered. I do NOT like Harry Potter! "Rachel, I think he's gone," Harry whispered, peering out from behind the box. "Let's go!" Dusting themselves off, they got up and walked carefully up the creaky staircase. The store owners were at the other end of the counter and Harry and Rachel managed to sneak out and blend in with the few customers in the store before running out the door towards the other end of Hogsmeade. They ran all the way to Gladrags Wizard Wear, Rachel laughing the entire way. She collapsed on the ground outside the shop, gasping for air through her laughter. "Harry... what are we doing...here...This is...crazy!" she managed to say. "You wanted dress robes," he replied, and both of them laughed again. "Come on," he said, offering her his hand as he pulled her off the ground. "Let's go inside." They spent nearly an hour in the shop as Rachel tried on robe after robe. "I'm not sure if I like this one," Rachel said, frowning as she modeled an old-fashioned light yellow robe. "Maybe a darker color?" The shopkeeper nodded and returned with a brilliant blue one. "This should fit you perfectly, dear," she said, smiling at Rachel. Rachel nodded and took the robe, retreating to the dressing room. The shopkeeper turned to Harry. "What a beauiful girl you have there. Is she your wife?" she asked. "Ah... er... no, we're friends," he managed to choke out, his face blushing a dark red. "How about this one?" Rachel called from just outside the dressing room. "It's a little tight..." Harry's jaw dropped open as he looked at her. The brilliant blue robe hung all the way to the floor; it was sleeveless and showed off Rachel's arms. It wasn't tight, as she had said, but it fit perfectly and showed off her curves in all the right places. "Dear, it isn't tight, they're meant to fit that way," the storekeeper told her, turning her around to examine the back of the robes. Rachel shrugged. "I guess... I'm just used to my Hogwarts robes," she said, laughing. "Do you like it?" she asked Harry. "Uh.. yeah. It looks great," he managed to stutter out. She laughed. "Okay, we'll take it," she told the shopkeeper. After paying, the two headed back to Hogwarts, making sure they were careful as they entered the tunnel in Honeyduke's. When they reached the other end, Harry stopped once again and pulled out the same piece of parchment. Rachel looked at him questioningly. "What's that?" she asked, craning her neck to see it. Harry shook his head. "Well, guess I might as well tell you... it's a map. A magical map. It shows all of the people inside of Hogwarts." He pointed his wand at it. "I solemly swear I am up to no good." Lines appeared, snaking across the parchment. Rachel gasped. "Awesome!" she cried. Harry laughed. "I didn't know you were this much of a trouble maker, Harry. Did you make this thing?" she asked. He smiled to himself. "No... I got it from some old friends." he replied. ********************** Harry headed back to his common room, triumphantly. Of course, he was starving as he had missed dinner to take Rachel to Hogsmeade, but that didn't matter. He had had so much fun. We're still just friends, he told himself firmly, feeling a bit guilty being with Rachel for so long after deciding to go with Cho to the dance. He entered the common room, still grinning. Hermione and Ron rushed up to him. "Harry, it's 6:45!" Hermione cried, looking at her watch. He was confused. "So?" he asked. "Mate, you're supposed to meet Professor Lupin at 7 tonight. He came and saw us. We didn't think you'd be back in time." Ron told him. "Sorry guys," he mumbled. "It's fine, but you'd better go wash your face or he'll know for sure you were in that tunnel!" Hermione told him, warningly. Harry ran upstairs to his room, washed his face and then raced back down again. "Where am I supposed to meet him at?" he asked them. "His office," they chorused together. Harry nodded and barged out the door, nearly knocking over a few second-years standing on the other side of the portrait. Hermione sighed, looking at Ron. "So were you planning on asking me to the dance or am I just supposed to assume we're going together, since we're going out?" she asked him. He began to blush profusely. "Er... Hermionedoyouwanttogotothedancetogehter." he mumbled quickly. She rolled her eyes. "Sure," she said laughing. "That was romantic." "Hey!" he said defensively. "You knew I wasn't romantic when we started going out!" Hermione laughed even harder. "True," she replied. Suddenly she stopped laughing as a horrible thought occured to her. She turned hesitantly to Ron, fear in her eyes. "Ron... we didn't tell him about Cho. What if he sees her before we can tell him?" ********************* Harry Potter rushed up the final set of stairs before reaching Remus Lupin's office. He knocked and was told to enter. "Harry!" Remus said, looking up. "Thanks for coming, I lost track of time, didn't even realize it was 7:00." He gestured towards a shabby-looking armchair in front of his desk. "Sit down, please." Harry sat, waiting for Remus to begin. "Well, first I wanted to explain a few things. You know who Adele Fleur is." Harry nodded. "She is, er, an old friend of mine. I don't know if you remember the picture or not...." The memory flashed in front of Harry's eyes; he remembered the first time he had seen Adele as a young girl, her blue eyes shining and her pretty brown hair bouncing over her shoulders in curls. Remus continued. "She was also very good friends with your parents, Harry, especially Lily. She wants to talk to you." Harry was shocked. "She - what? Why does she want to talk to me?" he asked. "Well, just because she knew your parents. And Harry - Dumbledore told you she was an anteawean. I'm unsure if you know what exactly that entails but... she's been talking to your parents. And Sirius. She can talk to the dead." Harry's jaw dropped open. Why didn't I think of this before?? he asked himself. Sure, he had known that she was an anteawean, but he hadn't really put two and two together. Remus continued talking, but Harry's thoughts were elsewhere. "-so maybe tomorrow, for some afternoon tea? How about around 4 in the afternoon, is that okay with you Harry?" Remus questioned gently. "Ah, sure. That's fine," he replied vaguely. Remus nodded. "I know this is hard for you Harry. If you ever need to talk things over with someone, I'm here." Harry nodded, said goodnight, and left. He walked back to the common room, confusion clouding his thoughts. He could talk to his mum and dad. He could talk to Sirius. What will I tell them? he thought frantically. He found himself outside the common room door; he mumbled the password and entered. Ron and Hermione jumped up from the sofa immediately. Hermione gasped as she saw the look on his face. "So - so you know? You talked to her?" she cried. "Talked to... who? The only person I talked to was Remus." Harry replied, confused. Hermione collapsed onto a chair, her hand over her heart. "What are you talking about?" he asked. Hermione looked at Ron. "I think HE better explain... He started it," she said angrily. Ron sighed. "Well, mate... Hermione and I were in the library, and this person asks me where you are and I say with Rachel... Then I look up and..." he gulped. "It was Cho." Harry's heart sunk. "Was... was she mad?" he asked, knowing the answer. Ron's eyes widened. "She was bloody furious, mate. I thought she was going to kill me right there, just for knowing you..." "So I can't even talk to other girls? This is ridiculous. We're not even dating. All I did was ask her to the dance." "I think she took it as more than that, Harry. I think she believes you and her are dating again." Hermione's voice rose from behind the book she had picked up. She lowered the book a few inches. "Talk to her. You need to sort things out." "Tomorrow," Harry mumbled, stumbling up the stairs to the dormitories. "I'm tired." *********************** At breakfast the next morning, Harry's heart immediately sank as he saw Cho glaring at him from the Ravenclaw table. Instead of ignorning him like he hoped she would, Cho stood up and stomped over to the Gryffindor table. "I'm so sorry mate, I'm so sorry," Ron moaned, over and over again. Cho stood in front of him, her hands on her hips. "Harry Potter - we're over! I won't take you cheating on me!" she shrieked shrilly. "Fine by me - we were never dating, Cho! We were just going to the dance!" he yelled back. "I've never meant anything to you, have I, Harry? I'm just not good enough for the famous Harry Potter!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face. She stomped back over to the Ravenclaw table. The entire school was staring at Harry. His face red, he put his head down on the table. "Why does it always have to be me?" he whined. *********************** As it was Saturday, Harry had a bit of time to kill as he waited until 4:00 to meet Adele and Remus. He decided to plan out this year's Quidditch team; he knew, with all of the students that had graduated last year, that it would quite a feat. He hung a sign in the common room advertising try-outs for the coming week. The season would be starting soon and, as captain, he needed to get his act together. For the entire rest of the afternoon, he couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was meeting Adele Fleur. What would he say to his parents? What would he say to Sirius? What will they say to me? he thought, at a loss for words. Finally, it was 4:00. He headed quickly up to the hospital wing. Opening the door shyly, he saw that Remus had conjured a worn but nice looking table and three chairs. The furnishings sat oddly in the middle of the otherwise empty hospital wing. An older-looking woman, her shiny brown hair hanging past her shoulders, leaned forward anxiously in her bed. "You must be Harry!" she cried. He nodded, his eyes searching the room for Remus. He was nowhere to be found. Harry walked toward the bed. "Nice to meet you," he mumbled, smiling nervously at Adele. She smiled back at him, tears welling up in her eyes. "Harry, I've heard such wonderful things about you. Sit down, sit down, Remus will be back soon and we can have tea!" Harry sat in one of the three chairs as Remus entered the hospital wing. "Well, I see you've met Adele!" he said happily. He looked at her carefully. "Would you like your tea in bed or do you think you could sit with us?" he asked. "Oh, I'm just fine... a little weak, that's all," she replied, raising herself out of bed. With Remus helping her, she made her way over to the chair on Harry's right. She smiled at him again, a motherly smile, and began to serve the tea. "No, I'll do it," Remus volunteered, taking the kettle away from Adele and pouring the hot liquid into the mugs. After everyone was settled, Adele turned to Harry. "So, Mr. Potter.... what do you want to know?" she asked. Harry's mind swam with a million thoughts. "About what?" he asked. "Anything," she replied gently. "What... what were my parents like? What do they say about me?" he asked nervously. She smiled at him, closing her eyes. "James," she whispered. "Lily." She was silent for a few minutes. "But of course.... yes, yes I will..." Harry felt like he was listening to one end of a phone conversation. Adele paused and looked at him, tears in her eyes once again. "They want you to know that they love you Harry, they're always watching over you. James says..." she paused as her voice broke and tears rushed down her face. "He says he is so proud of you. You're everything he ever wanted in a son." Harry was crying now too, silently, the tears were streaking down his face and falling onto his robe. "Lily says the same, of course, she says to be strong because you were meant for great things, Harry... Although the path is dangerous and heartbreaking, you will become something great." Harry wiped his face on his sleeve, openly sobbing. "Sirius?" he asked shakily. She nodded. "Sirius," she whispered. She smiled to herself as she heard his booming voice answer. "He says not to blame yourself for what happened in the Department of Mysteries, you either Remus, it was neither of you, it was his own fault..." "It was my fault!" Harry burst out tearfully. "No! No, no, it wasn't," Adele answered eagerly, her eyes still closed. "He says you can't blame yourself, Harry. He says to tell you thank you, you were like a son to him... You were his friend and his brother and his son, you were his whole life since he got out of Azkaban..." Harry had his head in his hands, trying to block the tears, but they were still escaping, falling into his palms and moistening his face. "Their message to you is to hold on, Harry... stay strong, keep up the fight. They know you can do it. They are watching over you, they are in a better place, You-Know-Who can't touch them anymore, they are safe. They love you and they want you to succeed, Harry. They know that you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and they know that you can do it. You can save our world." Nodding, Harry looked up at Adele, unable to speak because of his emotions. Instead, he stood and enveloped the tiny, frail woman in a bear hug. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you." ********************************* I have finally written this chapter! I'm so happy it's done. Thanks to all my great readers! I can't believe how many reviews I'm getting. Also - the name of the chapter is from a short story by Bharati Mukherjee - I have to give her credit for borrowing it! Thanks to my awesome reviewers.
