Chapter 4: Crowing Again
A thick silence hangs in the air. Everything is quiet, as though it is anxiously and excitedly waiting to see what will happen. Very, very faintly a ticking of a clock is heard from somewhere deep in the forest.
Wendy's breath catches in her throat. She feels her heart stop beating for a moment, then race wildly in the silence following Tiger Lily's words. It is so loud she fears the two she is spying on will somehow hear it. She is frozen, feeling she has been hit in the face. She does not want to see or hear anymore of what is about to happen. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what she's really doing, Wendy brings her hands away from the bushes, and they move back into their former positions. Quickly and quietly, she scoots backwards from her spying place a short distance.
Several thoughts and emotions fight for dominion in her mind. She realizes how alike Peter and Tiger Lily are – both are cunning, sly. She is now very grateful for Peter's innocence regarding thimbles and kisses. If he was wise in that one area…Wendy does not allow her imagination to play with the wondering. She is shocked by what she has just heard. Immediately at that moment Wendy harbors extreme dislike for the Indian princess. She feels like a mother who wants to protect her child. But Peter is in no danger. It is just a simple exchange of "kisses," that is all. And what right does she have telling Peter what he can or cannot do or with whom? He is captain, she reminds herself. He can do as he pleases. She is the only girl Peter has accepted within his circle of friends. Now Tiger Lily is also Peter's friend – but is that all she wants to be to Peter? Wendy asks herself. A shiver passes through her body as she for a moment she wonders what is now taking place between Peter and Tiger Lily.
She stops backing away and simply sits there on the forest floor, wonderings continuing to swirl around in her mind, making her dizzy.
But, of course, why would Tiger Lily not want to be something to Peter other than a friend? He did save her life, and obviously she is very impressed with him. But Peter in his innocence is not aware of how he unknowingly can wrap girls around his finger. He would not understand what Tiger Lily would want from him. He is only aware of enemies, friends, and mothers. But that would not stop her, Wendy thinks, though she is not fond of the thought.
And yet, Wendy acknowledges, even if Tiger Lily is only a friend to Peter, things possibly will change…. Things have been different – Peter is much more proud and…conceited. Having the old Peter back, and then some, is a mixed blessing. And it is Tiger Lily whom she must thank for that.
Peter sank into a depression following "that evening." He clung to Wendy like a new-born babe, looking for security and acceptance and love. She was alarmed by this change in him, to say the least. He hardly went out from the house underground. Wendy tended his wound every day. When he became distressed at how he could now hardly fly, she tried to reassure him that he would soon be back to complete health.
That time had been very tiring for Wendy. She spent most of the day caring for Peter and trying to cheer him up. She then had to fix dinner for her and the boys. After everyone was tucked in, Wendy would try to complete her darning and sewing for the evening. But usually she spent most of the night cradling Peter in her arms, soothing him to sleep after hearing about the nightmare he had dreamt. Thus, she hardly got any sleep and was quite upset when she had failed to mend the boys' pants for them; so they had to play with holes in the knees. She had nearly broken during those depressing days from her worrying and busyness and lack of sleep. But she kept pushing herself to go on.
The other boys had been so kind and helpful. Curly would come home early and help Wendy with the cooking sometimes. And all the boys were much more polite and respectful to their father. They also assured Wendy that it was more important to make father all better than mending their things.
And Peter…had been very un-Peter like. He had had an air of seriousness about him and cooperated when Wendy changed the bandages on his shoulder. Usually it was hard for him to keep still for such dull things. And he showed Wendy a lot of respect, thanking her for everything she did for him, not being full of conceit. Such humbleness and obedience were a whole new side to him. Though Wendy had sensed that there was a soft tender side to Peter – it just did not come out often.
It had been the night before the old Peter finally returned. She had finished dressing Peter's wound and was about to retire to her sewing when Peter had caught her by the wrist. She turned back to him with worry and was going to ask what was wrong, but he spoke first.
"Are you all right, Wendy?" he asked.
Wendy was greatly surprised by this question and stuttered an answer. "I am fine."
He had peered closely at her, a little concern on his face – something she had not seen him show before, and she was more astounded. "You do not look well," he stated.
She silently agreed that she probably didn't. She had hardly anything to herself to keep herself as tidy as she could. Was her hair all snarled? Was her face dirty?
And she did not feel well. It was getting harder for her to keep up with the boys' energy. She felt like collapsing. Her body ached, and her eyes burned from lack of sleep. But she could not rest. The boys and Peter depended on her to care for them, and she could not do that if she stopped. She feared she might not yet get up again.
"I am fine," she repeated, with a bit more force. She tried to go but Peter tightened his hold.
"You are tired," he observed, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.
Wendy blinked at him. "Oh, no," she denied in a low tone.
"Will you please not stay up tonight? For my sake?" Peter requested in a pleading tone, with a look she had yet to resist.
"If it would please you, Peter…" she trailed off, resigned fully.
He nodded firmly. "It would," he returned simply.
Wendy sighed. How could she refuse him? It is when she nodded that Peter released her. She settled down on her bedding and fell asleep before her head hit the pillow.
That was the first time Wendy saw the tender side of Peter. And she had not seen him like that since.
The next day she woke up after all the boys except for Nibs had gone. She noticed, too, that Peter was gone. Nibs explained that he had gone off to visit the Indians. Wendy was puzzled but thanked the boy for the news.
Peter returned as she was about to start preparing dinner. She immediately noticed a change in him. His eyes seemed alive and bit mischievous. He floated around the room and was smiling, looking quite pleased. Wendy looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and hope. Throwing his head back, Peter crowed. Wendy gasped. It had been a long time since she had heard him crow! She wanted to hug him joyfully but simply grinned up at him and clapped her hands in delight. The old Peter Pan was back!
Excitedly, he told her about his visit to the redskins. Tiger Lily had thanked him for saving her, and her father had named him the Great White Feather. The redskins were now friends of Peter. And Tiger Lily claimed to be his very nice friend and praised how brave he was. He paused, and with that cocky grin of his appearing on his bright face, he exclaimed that he had flown! (Though he was a little rough he admitted. But he had flown nonetheless!)
Wendy simply listened and felt happy for her friend that he was his old self again.
Wendy sighs. Perhaps Tiger Lily's praise had lifted Peter from his sad state, but it also may have been a little too much for Peter's own good. He is so full of himself, more conceited than ever. He enjoys tremendously when the redskins bow before him. And he is delighted with having an Indian name. And Wendy now has the name "squaw," which the redskins call her. She does not particularly like it.
She and the boys have had to deal with Peter's newfound glory. The boys he mocks quite a bit about being a brave. This makes them feel more annoyed toward the redskins. And he feels he has the right to order them around a lot more. To Wendy it seems as though he does not really view her as a mother now, but as one to do as he commands.
She is troubled by this, wondering just exactly how Peter sees her now. Maybe she is not as important as she once was. He used to go with her to different parts of the island, but now she spends most the day by herself. Yes, things have definitely changed since Tiger Lily became an ally. Wendy fears perhaps more changes might come.
I should probably go back to the house. The boys probably are very hungry by now, she thinks. But we cannot start without Peter. It has been only a few minutes since she left her hiding place. She will go back and tell Peter it is time for dinner – just like a mother.
She gets to her feet and walks back toward where Peter and Tiger Lily are, her head held high, making sure to make her presence known. She breathes deeply, gathering her courage.
"Peter!" she calls, pretending to still be looking for him.
She reaches the bushes and starts to push them aside. "Peter?" she shouts again. Mentally bracing herself for whatever she will now find in the clearing, she steps between the bushes.
Who knows how little or much can happen in a short period of absence.
