Frodo and Sam had barely taken two steps before Sam stopped. 'This is it.' He said.
'This is what?' Frodo asked, his eyes darting around, searching for signs of life.
'If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.'
'Uh, Sam? How do you know that?'
'The pub is right there.'
'Right. Come on.'
Sam took another step, then stopped.
'What is it now, Sam?' Frodo asked, eager to get away from the shire and all the crazy imbicils that lived in it.
'If I take one more step...'
Meanwhile, Gandalf was riding to Isenguard. He "somehow" maaged to reach it before the hobbits even took one step out of the shire (jee, how'd that happen? It's not like Sam stopped after EVERY step, now is it?).
By the time the grey (orange?) pilgrim reached Orthanc, his hair had changed colours a total of five times. It was now fuscia.
Saruman greeted him at the foot of the tower, looking quite staggering in his not-so-pure white robes. He also had died his hair a rather violent shade of green. (There was a silent contest between the two to see who could come up with the most outrageous colour.)
'Gandalf, my old friend.' the older wizard said, rather slowly.
'Saruman.'
'Isengard come Grey not Gandalf council For is my rides the to it seeking that you is why have.'
Mithrandir smiled gleefully, and said; 'You mean; Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengaurd, seeking my council. For that is why you have come, is it not?'
'That's what I said, isn't it?'
*****
'If I take one more step...'
'SAM!! SHUT UP AND START WALKING OR WE'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS STUPID PLACE YOU ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT LEAVING!'
'It'll be the farthest from home I've ever been.'
Frodo sigh, and decided that his garder was SO not worth the effort. He decided to take off- only to have the nut of a man come running after him. 'Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo!'
'What?'
'I thought I'd lost you!'
'I didn't even leave your sight, dammit!'
'Yes, but...'
'But what?' somehow, Frodo wasn't really sure he wanted to know.
'But you're my master, and I can't leave you. I can never leave anything that belongs to me, you should know that. It belongs to me, it's mine, MY OWN!'
Frodo had been slowly backing away, hoping to escape his crazed servant, when he was knocked over and plowed down by both Merry and Pippin- his crazed cousins. 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' Frodo screamed.
Sam hauled both of the other hobbits off of Frodo. 'Oy, don't you be touching him! That's MY master you're hurting!'
Merry and Pippin glanced at each other, each mouthing the word 'HIS?' before deciding it was best they run before the guy hurt them back.
The gardner chased after them, yelling 'Get back here and appologize to Mr. Frodo!' Meanwhile, the ringbearer decided this might be a good time to sneak off. However, he was prevented from doing so by a rope that had unknowingly been tied around his middle, causing him to be dragged after the tree insane hobbits.
Inevitably, they toppled over a cliff, where Merry managed to stand up, only to 'accidentally' trip and land on Frodo's windpipe. Fortunately for Frodo, Sam was still concious and he hauled Merry off of the chocking youth, then imeadeatly began to beat the crap out of him. In an attempt to stop this, Pippin got himself knocked out... by his own kick.
Frodo had begun to laugh uncontrollably, and he rolled off the road into a little ditch, where he was almost crushed when Sam tossed Pippin's unconcious body into the foliage. Merry and Samwise soon followed, still rolling about in an attempt to knock each other out.
And so it was that not one of them say the 'black' ridder go by.
*****
Thank you again, Bookworm, for your review. It's nice to know SOMEONE is reading it, *s*.
I'd also like to thank Robin Hood: Men in Tights for their portrayal of Nottingham, who was the inspiration for my version of Saruman.
'This is what?' Frodo asked, his eyes darting around, searching for signs of life.
'If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.'
'Uh, Sam? How do you know that?'
'The pub is right there.'
'Right. Come on.'
Sam took another step, then stopped.
'What is it now, Sam?' Frodo asked, eager to get away from the shire and all the crazy imbicils that lived in it.
'If I take one more step...'
Meanwhile, Gandalf was riding to Isenguard. He "somehow" maaged to reach it before the hobbits even took one step out of the shire (jee, how'd that happen? It's not like Sam stopped after EVERY step, now is it?).
By the time the grey (orange?) pilgrim reached Orthanc, his hair had changed colours a total of five times. It was now fuscia.
Saruman greeted him at the foot of the tower, looking quite staggering in his not-so-pure white robes. He also had died his hair a rather violent shade of green. (There was a silent contest between the two to see who could come up with the most outrageous colour.)
'Gandalf, my old friend.' the older wizard said, rather slowly.
'Saruman.'
'Isengard come Grey not Gandalf council For is my rides the to it seeking that you is why have.'
Mithrandir smiled gleefully, and said; 'You mean; Gandalf the Grey rides to Isengaurd, seeking my council. For that is why you have come, is it not?'
'That's what I said, isn't it?'
*****
'If I take one more step...'
'SAM!! SHUT UP AND START WALKING OR WE'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS STUPID PLACE YOU ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT LEAVING!'
'It'll be the farthest from home I've ever been.'
Frodo sigh, and decided that his garder was SO not worth the effort. He decided to take off- only to have the nut of a man come running after him. 'Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo!'
'What?'
'I thought I'd lost you!'
'I didn't even leave your sight, dammit!'
'Yes, but...'
'But what?' somehow, Frodo wasn't really sure he wanted to know.
'But you're my master, and I can't leave you. I can never leave anything that belongs to me, you should know that. It belongs to me, it's mine, MY OWN!'
Frodo had been slowly backing away, hoping to escape his crazed servant, when he was knocked over and plowed down by both Merry and Pippin- his crazed cousins. 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' Frodo screamed.
Sam hauled both of the other hobbits off of Frodo. 'Oy, don't you be touching him! That's MY master you're hurting!'
Merry and Pippin glanced at each other, each mouthing the word 'HIS?' before deciding it was best they run before the guy hurt them back.
The gardner chased after them, yelling 'Get back here and appologize to Mr. Frodo!' Meanwhile, the ringbearer decided this might be a good time to sneak off. However, he was prevented from doing so by a rope that had unknowingly been tied around his middle, causing him to be dragged after the tree insane hobbits.
Inevitably, they toppled over a cliff, where Merry managed to stand up, only to 'accidentally' trip and land on Frodo's windpipe. Fortunately for Frodo, Sam was still concious and he hauled Merry off of the chocking youth, then imeadeatly began to beat the crap out of him. In an attempt to stop this, Pippin got himself knocked out... by his own kick.
Frodo had begun to laugh uncontrollably, and he rolled off the road into a little ditch, where he was almost crushed when Sam tossed Pippin's unconcious body into the foliage. Merry and Samwise soon followed, still rolling about in an attempt to knock each other out.
And so it was that not one of them say the 'black' ridder go by.
*****
Thank you again, Bookworm, for your review. It's nice to know SOMEONE is reading it, *s*.
I'd also like to thank Robin Hood: Men in Tights for their portrayal of Nottingham, who was the inspiration for my version of Saruman.
