Author's Note: Wahoo! I updated quickly this time. :) *does a little jig* Anyway, thank you all who have reviewed, I really appreciate it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Comments and whatnot are welcomed.

Happy New Year!


Chapter 6: Tortured Thoughts

The sound of air rushing past her thunders in Wendy's ears. She shakes her head slightly, trying to get rid of the slight dizziness she feels. Her body trembles from a passing shiver. Her eyes are starting to burn. Wendy frowns, trying to ignore what her body is doing and to think happy thoughts. Peter looks over at her and mistakes the cause for the expression on her face.

"I am sorry, Wendy – for keeping you and the boys waiting. Don't be upset," he says, pleading.

Wendy is jostled from her thoughts and turns quizzical eyes to him. His voice seems to come from far away, echoing. Her frown deepens.

"Why should I be upset, Peter?" she returns in a tone of resignation before turning her gaze away from his eyes.

Slowly, her eyes travel down from his face to his neck. Colorfully painted leather stands out against the whiteness of his skin. Wendy draws in a ragged breath. She feels irritated and threatened for reasons she does not understand.

It is only gift, she tells herself.

But what if it is only the beginning? another part of her mind objects. What if she does tell him stories, stories that he will not scorn? What then?

Then he will hear stories which he likes, she returns.

Silly girl, sneers the other. You know he may turn from you. You fear what will happen if Peter spends more time with Tiger Lily.

No, I don't… she trails off, uncertain.

You fear Peter will no longer want you.

No.

You will no longer matter to him.

No…

Wendy attempts to turn her mind to other, more pleasant, things. She pictures herself happily playing in the Mermaids' Lagoon, along with the boys and Peter. Laughing, they hit the large bubbles to each other, changing color as the sunlight catches the bubbles at different angles. She smiles as the boys splash one another. The smile is replaced with surprise as she is soaked by a big splash. She rubs the water from her eyes and raises them to see Peter beaming at her.

"Ah-coo!" Wendy staggers in her flight from her sneeze. She sniffs and rubs at her nose with the sleeve of her nightgown. Looking down, she discovers she is slowly sinking. Desperately, she tries to bring back the picture of the bubbles…. But she suddenly feels tired. Her body feels like a weight of bricks, pulling her back to the ground.

She jerks her head in surprise at the realization of a firm, yet gentle grasp on her wrist. Whipping her head around, she meets Peter's hazel eyes, his hold on her stopping her descent. She swallows hard past the lump in her throat.

"Are you all right, Wendy?" Peter asks, confusion in his eyes. He looks down at her wrist and frowns at how warm her skin feels against his own.

Wendy closes her eyes and tries to even her breathing, which is coming out in short gasps. For a moment there, as she looked down, the world was starting to spin. She waits for her heart to stop pounding wildly. Hesitantly, she opens her eyes. Things come into focus, and everything is still instead of swaying. She lets a small sigh of relief escape from her lips.

"Wendy?"

Wendy turns back to Peter, who has not loosened his hold on her wrist. Confusion lingers in his eyes, but it now mixes with concern also. She and Peter have stopped moving and now simply hover in the air.

"I am all right," she finally answers him. She tries to bring back the thought she had, but it is fuzzy.

Peter nods slowly and resumes flying, not releasing her, sensing her need for help.

Gradually the clouds clear away from Wendy's mind. A cozy picture comes to her of Michael playing Indian and his teddy being the captive tied up with string and with a feather poking from the back of its head. Michael prances about, imitating an Indian dance while grinning broadly. The picture causes a small amused smile to spread across Wendy's face.

Her body pushes forward so that she is alongside Peter. He glances at her with a questioning look. She nods. Slowly, he lets her go, watching her intently lest she suddenly needs help. But she is fine. At last he gives her a cocky grin. A calm silence surrounds them for a bit.

"Wendy," Peter calls softly.

"Hmm?" Wendy mutters, the picture of her brother still before her.

"Is it only the mother who can give kisses?" he asks.

Wendy blinks in shock, totally not expecting to hear that from Peter. She blushes and opens her mouth to answer yes. But she pauses, recalling what is to him a "kiss." This time when she opens her mouth, she answers differently.

"No, Peter. A mother is not the only one who can give a kiss," she answers simply and watches Peter from the corners of her eyes.

"Really?" he looks at her with a bit of surprise.

Wendy nods her head. "There is nothing wrong with exchanging kisses with, say, a friend." A new flush brightens her cheeks as she says this.

Peter looks thoughtful and fiddles with the painted piece of leather hanging round his neck.

"Is that a kiss?" Wendy asks quietly.

Peter gazes upon the leather and nods. "Yes. From Tiger Lily."

Wendy is not surprised. She had guessed as much when she first laid eyes on the wonderful piece of leather.

"And you gave her one?" Wendy wonders.

"Yes." Here a strange expression comes over Peter's face, which Wendy does not recognize.

She only nods in reply.

In her mind, Michael gives his captive a pipe as a sign of friendship.

"Do you mind, Wendy?" Peter's voice brings her back to the present.

She met his eyes blankly.

"That I gave Tiger Lily a kiss?"

"No, I do not mind. Why should I? You are free to do as you please," Wendy answers with a sweet tone, ignoring the voice in the back of her head that objects to the words falling from her lips. "You are Captain," she states the obvious.

"That I am," he proclaims proudly. He chews on his bottom lip for a moment. "That's all I wanted to know." Peter grins at her again before returning his gaze to where they are heading.

Wendy gives him a small smile, which he misses. She then also turns her attention to her flying.

Michael sets his captive free and contently hugs his teddy.

The voice in her head starts nagging her. You do mind, though. Afraid he is more interested in the princess's kiss than in yours.

No, she argues, it is not really my business what Peter does or does not do. He has always been free.

But, the voice interjects, you shudder with nervousness at the thought of their being another girl in his life.

He has Tinker Bell, and he visits with the mermaids.

You and Tiger Lily are different, though, the voice whispers.

Wendy cannot come up with an objection.

Instead she turns her mind back to her brother. Michael dances about with his teddy. She looks at the back of his mother, who watches him; her golden orange hair tumbles down her back over her white nightgown. Michael races to her and throws his arms around her in a tight hug. When he draws back, the girl is dressed in leather and animal skins. Her hair, which is as black as a raven, is in a long slim braid.

You fear you will be replaced as his mother.

"NO!" Wendy shouts in passionate frustration.

Peter, startled by her outburst, looks at her with uneasiness. "Wendy?"

Her pleasant thought turning into a nightmare, Wendy does not try to think of another happy thought, upset with the other thoughts plaguing her mind. Like a bird falling from the sky after being shot by a hunter, she starts hurling head first toward the ground.

"Wendy!" Peter shouts above her.

Wendy stares wide-eyed at the looming trees. She tries to concentrate…think lovely thoughts. But she is completely terrified by the rapid speed with which she is falling and not knowing how big a crash landing she will make. There is no room in her mind for happy thoughts. Instead, it is filled with nightmares of how she will meet her end.

She attempts to twist her body so that she is falling feet first, her white nightgown whipping roughly against her body every which way. She can barely swallow. Her vision becomes a blur from the wind rushing into her eyes, causing them to water. Perhaps it is better that she can no longer make out towards what she is plummeting. This is it. What will the boys do when they find out how she met her end? Who will care for them? Amongst her fear, Wendy feels sadness and pity towards her boys. She never really got to say goodbye or how much they meant to her; before leaving them to search for Peter, she had simply told them to behave. Now, each one came to her mind: her brothers, John and Michael; the darling Twins; sweet Slightly, Curly, Nibs, and Tootles. She shall miss them all. Wendy hopes they will not shed many tears because of her. And Tinker Bell…Tink will not weep at the news but probably shall sing and dance for joy. Wendy has never really gotten along with the fairy.

She closes her eyes and tries to brace herself for whatever her fate will be. She pants heavily, and moisture forms on her brow. Her heart is pounding so fast and hard she is surprised it has not burst. Gropingly, she finds the chain round her neck and discovers the smoothness and curves of the acorn button.

Peter. The wind seems to breathe the word around her. Goodbye.