Title: Healing
Authors: Susie and Jenn
Rated: PG13
Warning : A little two on Emotion rape . But nothing graphie.
Summary: Peter tries to help Ray, but will Ray let him? Sequel
to Past, Present and Future
Copyright: 2004
Disclaimers: The Real Ghostbusters are the property of D.I.C.
This story was written for fun and not for profit.
Thanks: To Sandy for the beta
********
The nights of New York City were getting colder but one man
didn't seem to notice. He sat down at his desk running his
hand slowly through his hair. It had been another long night
for him.
Last night had been a year since Ray had been kidnapped and
beaten by Dwayne Hicks. His younger colleague finally appeared
to be getting over the events. Ray had suffered a slight head
fracture that had caused a speech problem. Another blow on the
head had miraculously restored his speech. The doctor had no
idea how that was possible.
Peter figured that it had to be a miracle - something Ray once
said he didn't believe in. He had also suffered two broken
legs and it was some time before he was able to walk. But
after he had caught the ghost of the man who hurt him, Ray was
well on his way to a full recovery.
But on the night of the anniversary of Ray's kidnapping, the
nightmares came back in full force. Peter Venkman had been
lying on his bed reading when he heard Ray's terrified
screams. He shot from his bed and was at his friend's side
before anyone could blink. He held the frightened man until he
calmed down. Once Ray had gone back to sleep, Peter remained
there. And again the nightmares came. So, Peter spent all
night with Ray. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and
turned around to see Egon standing before him holding a cup of
coffee.
"I thought you could use this," Egon said as he gave the cup
to Peter.
"Thanks," Peter said as he took it. "I really could use this."
Egon pointed to a now sleeping Ray. "How is he?"
"I think the worst of the nightmares are over with for now,
but I'm not sure about tonight."
"You could have asked Winston or me to help you."
Peter shook his head. "I couldn't even if I had wanted to. Ray
screamed every time I left him." Peter chuckled softly. "You
must sleep like a stone, Spengs, if Ray's screams didn't wake
you up."
Egon slowly turned away. "I guess I was tired last night. I'm
sorry, Peter. I should have been awake to help you."
Peter stood up. "It's okay, Egon. I'm not mad, but I am
hungry. Why don't you wake Ray while I fix breakfast? How does
eggs, bacon, and home fries sound to you?"
"It sounds fine to me, but Peter..."
"Yes, Egon?"
"Have Winston fix breakfast."
Peter rolled his eyes and nodded as he left the room.
Egon turned back to Ray and saw that he had finally opened his
eyes a little. "Ray?"
"Y-Yeah, Egon?" Ray asked.
"Are you all right?" Egon placed a cold washcloth on Ray's
forehead.
Ray brushed it away. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"You were, uh, dreaming," Egon replied.
"I'm fine!" Ray cried abruptly.
Egon stepped back, surprised. "Ray, that isn't like you," he
said.
"I'm fine, Egon! Why doesn't everyone just leave me alone?"
Ray turned away from Egon.
"Raymond, look at me," Egon demanded.
Ray turned back around. "What do you want, Egon? I had a
dream! People have dreams! But why worry about it? You slept
right through the whole thing." Ray threw back the covers and
got up with a scowl on his face.
Egon started to say something but stopped, realizing that Ray
was not in the mood to hear what he had to say.
Peter heard Ray's angry voice and sighed as he stood up from
his desk where he had gone to after asking Winston to fix
breakfast. That was the last straw for him, as far as he was
concerned. He knew Ray needed to get away for a while. He knew
they were all on pins and needles. Even a year's worth of
therapy from Dwight hadn't helped Ray much. Ray was still
tense when anybody tried to help or talk to him.
Peter picked up his phone and made a call. When he was
finished, he went upstairs to the dining area. "Okay guys, I'd
like your attention, please. I'm taking Ray to Coco Beach and
I don't want to hear another word about it."
Winston and Egon stared at each other. "Fine with me, Peter.
Maybe it will help," said Egon as he turned back to face
Peter. "I know I can't do anything with him."
Winston nodded but Ray shook his head. "I don't want to go."
"That's just too bad, kid. You're going," Peter said firmly.
"You can't make me go anywhere I don't want to go!" Ray
snapped. He got up and started to walk away but Egon stepped
in front of him.
"Raymond, listen to yourself!" Egon yelled.
Ray stopped short in his tracks, surprised at Egon's outburst.
"What?" Ray snapped back.
"Ray, listen to how you sound! You yell all the time. You
hardly talk to us, and what scares me the most is that you're
acting like none of this ever happened," Egon said.
Ray didn't say anything. He stared at the floor.
"All I'm saying is give Peter a chance. Ray, please. He's your
best friend. Talk to him," Egon urged.
"What if I don't want to? I want to act like it didn't happen!
Okay? It didn't happen!!" Ray yelled.
Peter sighed. This was worse than what he thought. "Come on,
Ray. It'll be fun. You and me, sunning on the beach... All
those girls..."
"What girls?" snapped Ray. "They'll only be paying attention
to you! As far as any girl's concerned, I don't exist!"
Peter looked at Ray sadly. "Look Ray, I know you... I thought
that this would make you feel better."
"Peter, I know you're trying to help and I understand. Really,
I do, but going to a beach isn't going to help. I just want to
stay home."
Peter nodded his head. "Okay Tex, you win. We'll stay home but
we really need to talk."
"I talk to Dwight. He's my psychologist, Peter. I'll be all
right." Ray left the room.
Peter turned to the others. "I'm going to have a talk with
Dwight. I want to know what the hell he's doing to help Ray."
The guys nodded and Peter left the room. He caught a cab and
headed over to Dwight's office. After paying the cab driver,
he walked inside the building and headed towards Dwight's
office.
The receptionist looked up as he entered. "Can I help you?"
she asked.
"Yes, I need to speak with Dwight," Peter said.
"And you are…" she glanced at him suspiciously, not liking the
idea of this man addressing the doctor by his first name
"Dr. Peter Venkman. My friend is a patient of his," he told
her.
"One moment, please. Would you please have a seat over there?"
She pointed to the chairs on her right. "Let me check if he's
available to see you." She pushed the intercom button.
"Doctor, there's a Dr. Peter Venkman to see you. He's...."
Before she could finish, Dwight came out. "Peter! What brings
you here? Is Ray all right?"
"No, I don't believe he is. Can we go somewhere else to talk?"
Dwight looked at his receptionist. "Dot, do I have any more
patients today?"
Dot checked the appointment book and looked up. "Mr. Moody at
seven, Doctor. Nobody else until then."
"Thanks, Dot." He turned back to Peter. "Okay, I'm all yours.
Let's go get a bite to eat."
*****
The two men sat down in a restaurant not too far away from
Dwight's office and ordered lunch. Dwight waited for Peter to
talk after their food and drinks were set down, but they both
discovered they were rather hungry and conversation was kept
at a minimum.
"I want to know what Ray's telling you," Peter finally said
after they were halfway through with their meals.
"Peter, you of all people should know that I can't break
doctor-patient confidentiality!"
"Damn it, Dwight! He's my friend and I want to help him."
Dwight slowly got up. "I'm sorry, Peter. I can't help you. If
I tell you anything, I'd be betraying Ray's trust."
Peter grabbed Dwight's arm as he stood up. "Come on, I need
something! Ray won't talk to me."
"Peter, I can't and you know it! I've got to go. Thanks for
lunch."
Peter watched him leave. "Yeah, you're welcome - and thanks
for nothing."
After paying for lunch, Peter hailed a taxi and went back to
the firehouse. As he walked inside the office, Janine was
waiting for him. "They got a call." She reached over and gave
him a piece of paper. "Egon said to come as soon as you got
back. Here's the address."
Peter quickly got a cab and went to the address Janine had
given him, but it looked like the guys were gone already. With
that out of the way, Peter headed back. When Peter got back,
the guys were already home.
"Hey Pete, we missed you on the bust," Winston said with a
smile.
Peter returned the smile sheepishly. Ray didn't say anything
to him but just walked upstairs looking angry. "What's his
problem?" he asked.
"He knows why you weren't there, Peter," Winston murmured.
"Oh…" Peter sighed and headed after Ray. "Tex?"
"You can't just let me live my life, can you?" Ray shouted as
he turned around to face Peter.
Peter jumped, startled by Ray's reaction. "What do you mean,
Tex?" he asked.
"You went to go talk to him, didn't you? To Dwight?" he
snapped.
Peter sighed. "Yeah, but he wouldn't tell me anything," he
said truthfully.
"And he shouldn't! He's MY psychologist, damn it! You're not,
so quit trying to act like you are!" Ray cried.
"Fine, Ray! If you want to go talk to some stranger rather
than me, that's perfectly all right by me!" Peter snapped.
"For your information, Mister I've Got to Stick My Nose in
Everybody's Business, Dwight Summers was YOUR friend in
college! You're the one who made me go to him! I didn't want
to, but you made me!" Ray shouted.
"That's because you wouldn't talk to me!" Peter yelled back.
"IT DIDN'T HAPPEN TO YOU! IT HAPPENED TO ME! YOU HAVE NO
IDEA!"
Peter took a deep breath to calm down. "No. You're right. I
don't, but I'm here to listen."
Ray also calmed down because he hated getting mad. "I'm sorry,
Peter. I don't know why I'm acting this way. I thought once I
was healed it would go away but it's hasn't and the nightmares
are getting worse."
Peter reached out and Ray went into his arms. "It's okay, Ray.
I'm here if you want to talk."
Ray nodded and suddenly burst into tears. Peter handed him a
tissue.
"You have no idea what it's like," Ray stammered.
"I'd like to know, Ray. I'd like to help you." Peter put a
hand on Ray's shoulder. "But I can't help you unless you talk
to me."
"Nobody can help me," Ray cried, shaking his head. "Nobody
knows what it was like over there."
Peter sighed. They were going back to square one. "Ray, we may
not have known what it was like, but we know that he hurt
you…" Peter didn't mention his name.
Ray sobbed a little. "He hurt me more than I can even tell
you," he sniffled.
Peter waited patiently. Ray slowly got up, walked over to the
coffeepot and poured himself a drink. "I never knew from one
day to the next what they were going to do to me. Peter, I was
so afraid that they would..." Ray took a deep breath. "Rape
me."
Peter clenched his fist. "I'm sorry, Ray."
"Not your fault. My fault."
"No it wasn't. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
Ray shook his head and took a big gulp of the coffee, letting
it burn his throat. "One night they even put me in a hole with
rats. They were crawling all over me."
Peter shuddered. "Come on, Ray. Let's sit down. Take your
time. I'm here and I'll listen to everything you have to say.
All of us will help you get through this."
Ray nodded and tried to smile unsuccessfully. "Peter… They
would…torture me, not let me eat for a day or so… and then
feed me some sort of meat. I-I didn't know what it was… It
made me sick…" Ray gulped.
Peter found his hands turning into fists. "It's okay, Ray. I'm
listening… I'm here…" he reminded Ray.
Ray nodded shakily. "O-One time I was naked… Don't know w-why,
s-since they didn't rape me… B-but Peter, t-they saw me…" Ray
looked down.
"Oh Ray…" Peter whispered.
"O-One of them…I think…m-might have been g-gay, because he-he
looked at me…b-but t-they wouldn't let him do anything…." Ray
shivered.
Peter immediately placed his arms around Ray and was glad when
Ray didn't pull away but leaned into him. He gently in a
brotherly way held him as he felt Ray give in to what he had
been hiding all these months. "Let it go, Ray. That's part of
the healing process."
Ray held onto Peter like he was a life preserver. "I remember
the day they broke my right leg." He took a deep breath. "They
had stripped me down to my boxers and after whipping me, the
one they called Mike, I think - took this heavy bar and
slammed it into my leg..." he shuddered. "It hurt so badly. I
screamed, Peter. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help it.
Hicks said I was a baby that had to be punished and he broke
my other leg."
Peter held him tighter, wishing he could do more. "Why did you
let us think everything was okay?"
"I didn't want you to hate me because I was weak and couldn't
fight them. You would've talked your way out. Egon wouldn't
have been so stupid as to walk into that trap in the first
place, and Winston would've fought his way out. I didn't. I
rolled over and let them hurt me."
"Ray, listen to me! There's no way I could have fought them
off. We bust ghosts! We're not superheroes."
"Peter's right, Ray. You mustn't think we would have fared any
better than you did."
Both Ray and Peter turned around as Winston and Egon walked
in. "How much did you hear?" Peter asked.
"Enough," Egon answered.
Ray hung his head.
"Raymond! Look at me!" Egon demanded. Ray slowly lifted his
head to look at him. "I don't ever want to see you looking
ashamed again. You did nothing wrong. "
"I... I... I'm sorry, Egon."
"Will you stop saying that, Ray? It's getting old."
"I'm sorry, Peter."
Peter sighed. "I know. Just stop, okay?"
"I'll try."
Peter smiled suddenly. "Guys, I don't know about you but I'm
starving." Ray tried to smile also, but failed. "So... Who's
up for pizza?" Peter asked.
"PIZZA!" Slimer shouted as he floated upstairs, excited.
"As long as it's not that pineapple pizza junk, Pete," Winston
said, making a face.
Peter made a face at Winston in return. "That's the best
though, buddy!"
"We'll get half and half, guys - and one for the spud!" Ray
cried, laughing a little.
The guys smiled at him.
"Okay, half and half. Uh, Ray half of what?" asked Peter as he
dialed the number.
"Half with pineapple and half with pepperoni and chocolate
sauce."
Egon put a hand over his mouth.
"Yeah! Yeah! Chocolate sauce," Slimer piped in.
"Chocolate sauce, Ray? Are you expecting?"
Ray looked a little embarrassed. "No Winston, but it's good."
"Yeah! Good! Yummy!" Slimer exclaimed as he rubbed his
stomach.
"So **you** say," Egon muttered, looking positively revolted
at the pizza topping combination being discussed.
Peter shook his head. "Yeah! Hello. I want to order four large
pizzas. One Hawaiian pizza and two with pepperoni and
chocolate sauce... Yeah, you heard me right: chocolate sauce!
Look pal, I'm paying for this and I'll ask for whatever I
want! Yeah. Okay, and one regular pizza. Deliver to
Ghostbusters Central. Yeah... Thanks!" He hung up the phone.
"Jerk!"
The pizza arrived twenty minutes later and the guys ate it and
sat up most of the night talking and laughing. Peter watched
Ray as he and Slimer shared the last piece of pizza. 'I'm
going to help you, Ray. I promise.'
******
The next morning Peter called Dwight's office.
"Hello. This is Doctor Summers' office," the receptionist
said.
"Yes, this is Doctor Venkman and I'd like to speak with Doctor
Summers."
"Hold on. I'll put you through."
A few moments later, Peter heard Dwight's voice over the
receiver. "Hello. Doctor Summers speaking. May I help you?" he
said.
"Hey, Dwight. This is Peter," replied Peter calmly.
"Hey, Peter. What's up? Ray's not due for a session until
Friday."
"I have one thing to say, Dwight."
"Yeah? What is it, Peter?"
"We don't need you anymore!" Peter snapped.
"What?" Dwight asked, not believing his ears. "Peter, are you
crazy? Ray still needs my help!"
"You heard me, buddy. We don't need you anymore. Ray's talking
to me. I'll help him from now on," Peter said.
"Peter, Ray and I have been working together. I don't think
this is a wise idea…" Dwight said.
"That's too bad. You're fired!"
Suddenly the phone was taken from Peter's hand. "What do you
think you're doing?" Egon demanded as he put the receiver down
on the table.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm firing Dwight!"
"Peter, you can't do that!"
"Why not? I can help Ray!"
"You're too close to this!"
"Egon, Ray's finally talking to me!"
"I know, Peter, but the next time he may not. You can't fire
Dwight. That's Ray's decision to do such a thing."
"Let's ask Ray." Peter walked away before Egon could say
another word. He found Ray reading. "Hey Tex, I'm going to
fire Dwight and help you instead. Is that okay with you?"
Ray never looked up. He just nodded. Peter turned back to
Egon. "See? He said it was okay. So tell Dwight he's fired!"
He then turned around
Egon walked right up behind Peter. "PETER CHARLES VENKMAN!" he
cried.
Egon yelled so loudly that Peter turned around, startled. He
was not used to hearing his friend be so loud. "What?" Peter
cried back.
"Do you **really** think I'm that stupid? You think I don't
know what you just did?" Egon asked. "You're trying to take
over Ray's life again, Peter, by doing this!"
"What?" Peter cried, defending himself. "No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!" Egon said. "Go back there, make sure Ray's
listening, and then ask him again. He probably didn't even
hear you when you asked him because he had his nose buried in
that book and you know it! Stop being so damned selfish!"
Peter turned away.
"Hey! Dwight's still on the phone," said Janine as she stood
in the doorway.
"Janine, tell him we'll call him back."
"Okay, Egon."
Peter slowly walked up to Ray. "Hey, Tex. Put the book down. I
want to ask you something."
"Yeah, Peter?"
"Ray, I want to help you so I'm going to fire Doctor Summers.
What do you think of that idea?"
"Whatever you think is best, Peter."
"No, Ray. I want to know what you think."
"I don't want you to fire him. He's doing a great job, Peter.
I'll talk to you too, but there are some things I just can't
tell you."
"Okay, Ray. I understand. Thanks." Peter walked away and Ray
went back to reading.
"Well?" asked Egon.
"Dwight stays on."
Egon nodded. "And are you all right with this, Peter? It's
probably the best thing for Ray."
Peter nodded. "You're right Spengs, and no - I'm not really
all right with it, but at the same time I do know it's best
for him. Being in this profession, I know that I'm too close
to him for him to tell me everything. Heck, he probably blames
me for some of the things that happened to him."
Egon put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "He doesn't blame you,
Peter."
"Oh no? I see it in his eyes, Egon, because we weren't there.
I saw it when we talked the other day, and I see it now."
Peter shook his head. "No, Egon. He blames us and I think
that's why he likes talking to Dwight because he's too ashamed
or embarrassed to tell us that."
"Peter, are you sure about this?" Egon asked. "You can't
presume this."
Peter shrugged. "Right now it's just a guess, Egon. Until he
tells me more, then I won't know so I'm not assuming anything.
Right now, I'm just hoping and praying that it will work
itself out and Ray will be all right."
Egon nodded in agreement with Peter. They were all worried
about Ray and it made them all act a little irrationally. They
were worried that they would never have the fun-loving,
excitement-filled Ray that they used to have before.
The next day, Ray was up and eating breakfast when Peter
walked in. "You're up early. That's not really like you,
Peter."
"I heard you get up. Thought I'd take you to see Dwight
today," Peter replied airily as he poured himself a cup of
coffee.
"No, you don't have to. I'll take a cab."
"Ray, I really want to."
"I know, Peter, but I really want to go by myself."
"Ray... I'd feel a lot better if I went with you."
Ray got up as he finished the last of his juice. "I'll talk to
you later, Peter."
Peter sighed as Ray left and looked out the window, watching
him get into a cab. "Yeah. Later, Ray."
When the cab pulled up, Ray paid for the fare, walked into the
building and he headed for Dwight Summers' office suite.
"Hello, Ray. The doctor will see you in a moment," the
receptionist told him with a smile as she showed him into
Dwight's office.
"Thanks." Ray sat down and leafed through a magazine.
"Hello Raymond," Dwight's friendly voice filled the air as he
walked into the room.
"H-Hi Dwight," Ray sighed. He looked around the room nervously
because he felt uncomfortable lying on the couch.
"Something the matter, Ray?" Dwight asked
"M-Maybe I can come back another time," Ray got up and started
to leave
"Wait a minute. Have a seat, Ray. If the couch bothers you,
you can sit in the chair and talk to me. I won't bite," Dwight
said with a smile.
Ray shuddered when he said that. He decided to go to the couch
instead of having a seat. He lay down, looking up at the
ceiling to avoid Dwight's gaze.
"Was it something I said?" Dwight asked, pulling up a chair.
"Something they did to you?"
Ray had tears in his eyes, but he nodded. "Y-Yes… Well, i-it
was Hicks… When he had me… He said…the same thing, and t-then
he bit my arm…" Ray shuddered again. "I-It was h-his idea of a
sick joke."
"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories,"
Dwight said, taking notes. Ray watched silently as Dwight
wrote on his pad. "You said earlier that you weren't raped.
Ray, are you hiding something?"
Ray turned his head toward Dwight. "I wasn't raped."
"Ray, there are different types of rape. You may not have been
raped physically, but emotionally, you were."
Ray suddenly sat up. "Stop saying that! I wasn't raped!"
"Look at you! You haven't been able to cope with anything.
Every sound makes you jump. You're on the edge. You're pushing
your own friends away."
Ray got up and paced the floor. "I wasn't raped. I... I... I
was hurt. The guys deserted me!"
Dwight wrote more down on his pad. "You said that Hicks bit
you and you were naked at one point. Why were you naked?"
"I don't know! Stop asking me that! Peter's right!"
"Peter's right about what?"
"You're not helping."
"I can and so can Peter as soon as you admit that Hick raped
you emotionally."
Ray turned and left without saying a word. Dot watched him
leave, knowing that something was wrong. She hurried into
Dwight office.
Dwight was on the phone. "Calm down, Peter! Yes, he's very
upset!"
"I'll calm down! What did you say to him?"
"I just wanted to admit he was emotionally raped. Once he
does, we can help him."
"No, Dwight. I can help him. I don't care. Ray needs me. I'll
keep you on, but Ray needs me now." Peter hung up the phone.
"What's wrong?" asked Winston.
"Dwight upset Ray. I'm going to go find him."
"Do you know where he might go?"
"I've got a good idea where he might be," Peter replied grimly
as he walked out the door.
******
"I wasn't raped! I wasn't raped! I wasn't raped!" Ray kept
saying over and over in his mind. He kept having flashbacks
and he shook them away, desperately trying to forget them. He
finally burst into tears. He was sitting on a bench right next
to his parents' old house. This place brought peace to him
sometimes, but not today. If he admitted he was raped then it
was true and he just couldn't do that.
The flashbacks wouldn't leave him alone. Ray stood up and
tried to think of something else, something that would block
them from his memory, but nothing worked. He started jogging
around the block and then came back and sat on the bench,
exhausted.
"Have a nice run, Tex?"
Ray slowly lifted his head. "Go away, Peter! I want to be
alone."
"Since when did you become Greta Garbo?"
Ray turned away from him.
"Dwight called me."
"So?"
"He said you got upset with him."
"He said I was raped."
"And?"
"I wasn't."
"I see." Peter sat down on the bench next to Ray. "Tex, what
do you think rape is?"
"What kind of a question is that?"
"Just a question, that's all."
"When you're forced to have sex."
"That's one type of rape, but there are others. I noticed
those bite marks. Did Hicks do that?"
"Yes," Ray answered, avoiding Peter's gaze.
"And I guess he called you all sorts of names and put you
down. In fact, I bet that he made you feel lower than a
snake."
Ray looked up, tears now escaping from his eyes. "Yes. He did
all that."
"Ray, that's raping someone mentally."
"Peter, please help me! I'm so scared."
Peter reached over and pulled Ray into a hug. "I will, buddy.
I will."
*****
That night back at the firehouse, Peter sat down at his desk
going over some bills. He was thinking about what he and Ray
had talked about. Emotional rape, though not as bad as
physical rape, could still leave behind scars. Peter sighed as
he finished up the bills.
"Hey, man. You okay?"
"Hi, Winston. Yeah, I'm peachy. Just worried about Ray, that's
all."
"Yeah. Me too, man."
"Winston, how are you holding up?"
Winston shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I'm cool, man. Just wish
none of this happened."
"Yeah, me too, Winston - but it did and we've got to deal with
it."
Winston nodded. "I hear you, my man. I just wish it wasn't
Ray."
"I know. I'd rather it had happened to me than the kid, but
that isn't the case. He's hurting, Winston... He's hurting and
I feel like there's nothing I can do," Peter sighed.
Winston placed a hand on Peter's shoulder. "You're doing
everything you can, Peter, and that's keep us sane as well.
You're doing more than your share, buddy."
Peter nodded, sighing.
Ray came down a minute later. "H-Hi Peter-" he said.
"Hi, kiddo. You want to talk?" Peter asked.
Ray nodded.
"I'll leave you two alone, my man," Winston said, smiling at
Ray.
"Thanks Winston," Ray said quietly.
"What do you want to talk about, buddy?" Peter asked.
Ray stood, nervously staring at Peter. "Peter, I want you to
know that I appreciate what you are doing for me, but there
are just things that I can't tell you right now."
"Why, Ray?"
Ray walked over to the pole and stared down through the hole.
"I guess I feel you won't like me any more."
Peter walked over to him. "You know that's silly, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I can't help thinking it. Dwight told me one way to
get over the bump was to re-act it out."
"What? You mean everything?"
Ray nodded.
Peter turned away for a moment before turning back to face his
friend. "It sometimes works. It lets the victim change the
outcome, but it can also backfire. If you do decide to do
this, I want us to be there."
"I already told Dwight that."
"Good. So, do you want to do it?"
"It might be the only way, but I'm scared," Ray admitted.
"Just remember this time it's not real and we will be there."
"Yes Ray .Peter is right we will all be there ."
Ray and Peter turn to see Egon and Winston.
"Thanks Egon."
The next morning everyone woke up early, even Peter. Winston
woke up to make pancakes for everyone. Ray came out rubbing
his eyes.
"Morning partner," Winston smiled.
"Morning," Ray yawned.
"One pancake or two?" Winston asked.
"Uh… None, really. I'm not too hungry," Ray said as he lowered
his head.
Winston handed Ray a pancake anyway. "Ray, you need to eat
something. So please, don't make me force you. It could get
ugly."
Ray smiled and nodded. Peter and Egon arrived shortly after.
They also sat down and had breakfast. Once breakfast was done
and cleaned up, they all got into Ecto and drove to the
doctor's office. Sitting in the back seat, Ray kept fiddling
with his hands.
"You'll do fine, Raymond," Egon said as he put a hand on Ray's
shoulder.
"I-I'm glad you guys are with me," Ray replied, trying to
smile.
When they arrived at Dwight's office, they were told to go
straight in. Dwight walked over to them. "I'm glad you all
decided to help Ray in this. Now I need to tell you what to
expect. I will place Ray under hypnosis. This way he will be
able to remember everything but the outcome will be
different." Dwight paused when he saw the look on Ray's face.
"It will be okay, Ray. I will have a suggestion word to bring
you out. "
Ray nodded.
Dwight nodded in return before facing the other Ghostbusters.
"Now, you three need to listen to this carefully. While under
hypnosis, Ray will see everything as it was when he was a
prisoner, you three included. In other words, he'll see you
three as the men who kidnapped him. So, if he attacks you or
whatever he might do under hypnosis, I don't want any of you
go off in a temper saying that Ray blames me. If you do, I'll
end this so fast that your heads will spin. Do I make myself
clear?"
All three of them nodded. Dwight took Ray over to a couch.
"Ray, please lie down and relax. Take deep breaths, all
right?"
Ray slowly lay on the couch. "I want you to focus on this and
my voice," Dwight said as he reached over for a large piece of
clear crystal. The light hit off the angles of the crystal,
making little images of rainbows on the wall.
Ray's breathing slowed as he reluctantly allowed himself to
relax. His eyelids began to droop slightly as he focused on
the crystal Dwight held in his hand.
"Ray, you are standing on a hillside. The sun is shining and
the air smells fresh and clean. Can you sense that?" Dwight
murmured soothingly.
"Yes..."
"Now listen to me: when I count to three, you will no longer
be there but in the place you never want to see again. Do you
understand?"
"Yes."
"I'm going to count, but before I do, remember busted. This
word will bring you back. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"All right... One... Two... Three."
They all watched as Ray's features suddenly transformed to an
absolutely enraged _expression as he stood up and stared at
them. He then turned to face Winston, his lips pulled back in
an ugly snarl. "Hicks, you filthy piece of crap, I'm gonna
kick your butt from here to next Tuesday!" Ray yelled as he
threw himself at Winston. "I'm gonna make you pay for what you
did to Winston, that poor girl, and me! Do you hear me, you
piece of slime?"
Ray began punching Winston but the older man was holding the
punches at bay.
"Stop him, for crying out loud!" yelled Peter.
"No, I'm okay. Ray needs to do this!" Winston said, raising
his voice so he could be heard over Ray's shouting. "Let him
be!"
"You bastard! How could you do this to anyone? What kind of a
man are you?" Ray screeched as he continued trying to punch
Winston.
Egon rose to his feet. "Winston, I agree with Peter. This must
stop before someone gets hurt!"
Ray suddenly turned around. "You two shut up! Hicks is gonna
pay for everything he's done!" Ray suddenly placed his hands
on Winston's throat and began squeezing.
Winston remained calm but Peter didn't. "BUSTED!" he yelled.
Ray shook his head and then stared down at his hands around
Winston's neck. "Oh my God... Winston... I'm sorry... I didn't
mean to," he muttered, slowly removing his hands from his
friend.
"It's okay, Ray. I'm okay."
Egon whirled around to face Dwight. "What was that supposed to
do? Ray could have killed Winston!"
Dwight ignored Egon and spoke to Ray. "How do you feel, Ray?"
Ray looked around. "A little confused but I also feel relief -
like something heavy was taken off my back that was weighing
me down."
"It was your fear. Once you stood up to Hicks, your fear left
you." said Dwight. A few more sessions and I think you will be
fine."
Ray smiled. He wiped his eyes when he realized they were
watering. The guys silently walked outside.
Peter put an arm around Ray's shoulder. "Are you feeling any
better, Tex?"
Ray nodded. "Yeah, Peter. I am, really."
Peter squeezed Ray's shoulder. "You don't blame us?" he asked.
Ray didn't answer for a second.
"It's okay, buddy. You don't have to answer right now. It's
like Dwight said, after a few more sessions, you'll be your
old jumpy self again," Peter said with a grin.
Ray returned the shoulder squeeze. "Thanks Peter," he
whispered.
The sessions lasted a few more weeks and Dwight was right -
Ray was finally reverting to his normally cheerful self. The
night after the last session, Peter was sitting down on the
sofa reading over the bills.
"Peter?"
Peter looked up at the sound of Ray's voice and smiled. "Hey,
Ray! Come on over and have a seat."
Ray sat down on the couch and gazed at his friend for a long
time before speaking. "Peter, do you remember when you asked
me if I blamed you and I couldn't answer you?"
Peter nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"Well, now I can. I did at first. I didn't want to, but I
couldn't help it. But I don't blame you guys now."
Peter stood up and gave Ray a hug. "I'm glad, Ray. So, are you
up for a game of cards? How about a game of gin?" he asked as
he picked up a deck of cards and they walked into the kitchen.
"Only if you don't cheat."
"Cheat? Me? Ray, I'm hurt!" Peter replied in a mocking voice.
"Ray laughed as he sat down at the table. "Just deal, Peter!
Hey you guys, we're playing gin!"
The other three joined them in the kitchen and they all had a
good time.
The End
Authors: Susie and Jenn
Rated: PG13
Warning : A little two on Emotion rape . But nothing graphie.
Summary: Peter tries to help Ray, but will Ray let him? Sequel
to Past, Present and Future
Copyright: 2004
Disclaimers: The Real Ghostbusters are the property of D.I.C.
This story was written for fun and not for profit.
Thanks: To Sandy for the beta
********
The nights of New York City were getting colder but one man
didn't seem to notice. He sat down at his desk running his
hand slowly through his hair. It had been another long night
for him.
Last night had been a year since Ray had been kidnapped and
beaten by Dwayne Hicks. His younger colleague finally appeared
to be getting over the events. Ray had suffered a slight head
fracture that had caused a speech problem. Another blow on the
head had miraculously restored his speech. The doctor had no
idea how that was possible.
Peter figured that it had to be a miracle - something Ray once
said he didn't believe in. He had also suffered two broken
legs and it was some time before he was able to walk. But
after he had caught the ghost of the man who hurt him, Ray was
well on his way to a full recovery.
But on the night of the anniversary of Ray's kidnapping, the
nightmares came back in full force. Peter Venkman had been
lying on his bed reading when he heard Ray's terrified
screams. He shot from his bed and was at his friend's side
before anyone could blink. He held the frightened man until he
calmed down. Once Ray had gone back to sleep, Peter remained
there. And again the nightmares came. So, Peter spent all
night with Ray. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and
turned around to see Egon standing before him holding a cup of
coffee.
"I thought you could use this," Egon said as he gave the cup
to Peter.
"Thanks," Peter said as he took it. "I really could use this."
Egon pointed to a now sleeping Ray. "How is he?"
"I think the worst of the nightmares are over with for now,
but I'm not sure about tonight."
"You could have asked Winston or me to help you."
Peter shook his head. "I couldn't even if I had wanted to. Ray
screamed every time I left him." Peter chuckled softly. "You
must sleep like a stone, Spengs, if Ray's screams didn't wake
you up."
Egon slowly turned away. "I guess I was tired last night. I'm
sorry, Peter. I should have been awake to help you."
Peter stood up. "It's okay, Egon. I'm not mad, but I am
hungry. Why don't you wake Ray while I fix breakfast? How does
eggs, bacon, and home fries sound to you?"
"It sounds fine to me, but Peter..."
"Yes, Egon?"
"Have Winston fix breakfast."
Peter rolled his eyes and nodded as he left the room.
Egon turned back to Ray and saw that he had finally opened his
eyes a little. "Ray?"
"Y-Yeah, Egon?" Ray asked.
"Are you all right?" Egon placed a cold washcloth on Ray's
forehead.
Ray brushed it away. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"You were, uh, dreaming," Egon replied.
"I'm fine!" Ray cried abruptly.
Egon stepped back, surprised. "Ray, that isn't like you," he
said.
"I'm fine, Egon! Why doesn't everyone just leave me alone?"
Ray turned away from Egon.
"Raymond, look at me," Egon demanded.
Ray turned back around. "What do you want, Egon? I had a
dream! People have dreams! But why worry about it? You slept
right through the whole thing." Ray threw back the covers and
got up with a scowl on his face.
Egon started to say something but stopped, realizing that Ray
was not in the mood to hear what he had to say.
Peter heard Ray's angry voice and sighed as he stood up from
his desk where he had gone to after asking Winston to fix
breakfast. That was the last straw for him, as far as he was
concerned. He knew Ray needed to get away for a while. He knew
they were all on pins and needles. Even a year's worth of
therapy from Dwight hadn't helped Ray much. Ray was still
tense when anybody tried to help or talk to him.
Peter picked up his phone and made a call. When he was
finished, he went upstairs to the dining area. "Okay guys, I'd
like your attention, please. I'm taking Ray to Coco Beach and
I don't want to hear another word about it."
Winston and Egon stared at each other. "Fine with me, Peter.
Maybe it will help," said Egon as he turned back to face
Peter. "I know I can't do anything with him."
Winston nodded but Ray shook his head. "I don't want to go."
"That's just too bad, kid. You're going," Peter said firmly.
"You can't make me go anywhere I don't want to go!" Ray
snapped. He got up and started to walk away but Egon stepped
in front of him.
"Raymond, listen to yourself!" Egon yelled.
Ray stopped short in his tracks, surprised at Egon's outburst.
"What?" Ray snapped back.
"Ray, listen to how you sound! You yell all the time. You
hardly talk to us, and what scares me the most is that you're
acting like none of this ever happened," Egon said.
Ray didn't say anything. He stared at the floor.
"All I'm saying is give Peter a chance. Ray, please. He's your
best friend. Talk to him," Egon urged.
"What if I don't want to? I want to act like it didn't happen!
Okay? It didn't happen!!" Ray yelled.
Peter sighed. This was worse than what he thought. "Come on,
Ray. It'll be fun. You and me, sunning on the beach... All
those girls..."
"What girls?" snapped Ray. "They'll only be paying attention
to you! As far as any girl's concerned, I don't exist!"
Peter looked at Ray sadly. "Look Ray, I know you... I thought
that this would make you feel better."
"Peter, I know you're trying to help and I understand. Really,
I do, but going to a beach isn't going to help. I just want to
stay home."
Peter nodded his head. "Okay Tex, you win. We'll stay home but
we really need to talk."
"I talk to Dwight. He's my psychologist, Peter. I'll be all
right." Ray left the room.
Peter turned to the others. "I'm going to have a talk with
Dwight. I want to know what the hell he's doing to help Ray."
The guys nodded and Peter left the room. He caught a cab and
headed over to Dwight's office. After paying the cab driver,
he walked inside the building and headed towards Dwight's
office.
The receptionist looked up as he entered. "Can I help you?"
she asked.
"Yes, I need to speak with Dwight," Peter said.
"And you are…" she glanced at him suspiciously, not liking the
idea of this man addressing the doctor by his first name
"Dr. Peter Venkman. My friend is a patient of his," he told
her.
"One moment, please. Would you please have a seat over there?"
She pointed to the chairs on her right. "Let me check if he's
available to see you." She pushed the intercom button.
"Doctor, there's a Dr. Peter Venkman to see you. He's...."
Before she could finish, Dwight came out. "Peter! What brings
you here? Is Ray all right?"
"No, I don't believe he is. Can we go somewhere else to talk?"
Dwight looked at his receptionist. "Dot, do I have any more
patients today?"
Dot checked the appointment book and looked up. "Mr. Moody at
seven, Doctor. Nobody else until then."
"Thanks, Dot." He turned back to Peter. "Okay, I'm all yours.
Let's go get a bite to eat."
*****
The two men sat down in a restaurant not too far away from
Dwight's office and ordered lunch. Dwight waited for Peter to
talk after their food and drinks were set down, but they both
discovered they were rather hungry and conversation was kept
at a minimum.
"I want to know what Ray's telling you," Peter finally said
after they were halfway through with their meals.
"Peter, you of all people should know that I can't break
doctor-patient confidentiality!"
"Damn it, Dwight! He's my friend and I want to help him."
Dwight slowly got up. "I'm sorry, Peter. I can't help you. If
I tell you anything, I'd be betraying Ray's trust."
Peter grabbed Dwight's arm as he stood up. "Come on, I need
something! Ray won't talk to me."
"Peter, I can't and you know it! I've got to go. Thanks for
lunch."
Peter watched him leave. "Yeah, you're welcome - and thanks
for nothing."
After paying for lunch, Peter hailed a taxi and went back to
the firehouse. As he walked inside the office, Janine was
waiting for him. "They got a call." She reached over and gave
him a piece of paper. "Egon said to come as soon as you got
back. Here's the address."
Peter quickly got a cab and went to the address Janine had
given him, but it looked like the guys were gone already. With
that out of the way, Peter headed back. When Peter got back,
the guys were already home.
"Hey Pete, we missed you on the bust," Winston said with a
smile.
Peter returned the smile sheepishly. Ray didn't say anything
to him but just walked upstairs looking angry. "What's his
problem?" he asked.
"He knows why you weren't there, Peter," Winston murmured.
"Oh…" Peter sighed and headed after Ray. "Tex?"
"You can't just let me live my life, can you?" Ray shouted as
he turned around to face Peter.
Peter jumped, startled by Ray's reaction. "What do you mean,
Tex?" he asked.
"You went to go talk to him, didn't you? To Dwight?" he
snapped.
Peter sighed. "Yeah, but he wouldn't tell me anything," he
said truthfully.
"And he shouldn't! He's MY psychologist, damn it! You're not,
so quit trying to act like you are!" Ray cried.
"Fine, Ray! If you want to go talk to some stranger rather
than me, that's perfectly all right by me!" Peter snapped.
"For your information, Mister I've Got to Stick My Nose in
Everybody's Business, Dwight Summers was YOUR friend in
college! You're the one who made me go to him! I didn't want
to, but you made me!" Ray shouted.
"That's because you wouldn't talk to me!" Peter yelled back.
"IT DIDN'T HAPPEN TO YOU! IT HAPPENED TO ME! YOU HAVE NO
IDEA!"
Peter took a deep breath to calm down. "No. You're right. I
don't, but I'm here to listen."
Ray also calmed down because he hated getting mad. "I'm sorry,
Peter. I don't know why I'm acting this way. I thought once I
was healed it would go away but it's hasn't and the nightmares
are getting worse."
Peter reached out and Ray went into his arms. "It's okay, Ray.
I'm here if you want to talk."
Ray nodded and suddenly burst into tears. Peter handed him a
tissue.
"You have no idea what it's like," Ray stammered.
"I'd like to know, Ray. I'd like to help you." Peter put a
hand on Ray's shoulder. "But I can't help you unless you talk
to me."
"Nobody can help me," Ray cried, shaking his head. "Nobody
knows what it was like over there."
Peter sighed. They were going back to square one. "Ray, we may
not have known what it was like, but we know that he hurt
you…" Peter didn't mention his name.
Ray sobbed a little. "He hurt me more than I can even tell
you," he sniffled.
Peter waited patiently. Ray slowly got up, walked over to the
coffeepot and poured himself a drink. "I never knew from one
day to the next what they were going to do to me. Peter, I was
so afraid that they would..." Ray took a deep breath. "Rape
me."
Peter clenched his fist. "I'm sorry, Ray."
"Not your fault. My fault."
"No it wasn't. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
Ray shook his head and took a big gulp of the coffee, letting
it burn his throat. "One night they even put me in a hole with
rats. They were crawling all over me."
Peter shuddered. "Come on, Ray. Let's sit down. Take your
time. I'm here and I'll listen to everything you have to say.
All of us will help you get through this."
Ray nodded and tried to smile unsuccessfully. "Peter… They
would…torture me, not let me eat for a day or so… and then
feed me some sort of meat. I-I didn't know what it was… It
made me sick…" Ray gulped.
Peter found his hands turning into fists. "It's okay, Ray. I'm
listening… I'm here…" he reminded Ray.
Ray nodded shakily. "O-One time I was naked… Don't know w-why,
s-since they didn't rape me… B-but Peter, t-they saw me…" Ray
looked down.
"Oh Ray…" Peter whispered.
"O-One of them…I think…m-might have been g-gay, because he-he
looked at me…b-but t-they wouldn't let him do anything…." Ray
shivered.
Peter immediately placed his arms around Ray and was glad when
Ray didn't pull away but leaned into him. He gently in a
brotherly way held him as he felt Ray give in to what he had
been hiding all these months. "Let it go, Ray. That's part of
the healing process."
Ray held onto Peter like he was a life preserver. "I remember
the day they broke my right leg." He took a deep breath. "They
had stripped me down to my boxers and after whipping me, the
one they called Mike, I think - took this heavy bar and
slammed it into my leg..." he shuddered. "It hurt so badly. I
screamed, Peter. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help it.
Hicks said I was a baby that had to be punished and he broke
my other leg."
Peter held him tighter, wishing he could do more. "Why did you
let us think everything was okay?"
"I didn't want you to hate me because I was weak and couldn't
fight them. You would've talked your way out. Egon wouldn't
have been so stupid as to walk into that trap in the first
place, and Winston would've fought his way out. I didn't. I
rolled over and let them hurt me."
"Ray, listen to me! There's no way I could have fought them
off. We bust ghosts! We're not superheroes."
"Peter's right, Ray. You mustn't think we would have fared any
better than you did."
Both Ray and Peter turned around as Winston and Egon walked
in. "How much did you hear?" Peter asked.
"Enough," Egon answered.
Ray hung his head.
"Raymond! Look at me!" Egon demanded. Ray slowly lifted his
head to look at him. "I don't ever want to see you looking
ashamed again. You did nothing wrong. "
"I... I... I'm sorry, Egon."
"Will you stop saying that, Ray? It's getting old."
"I'm sorry, Peter."
Peter sighed. "I know. Just stop, okay?"
"I'll try."
Peter smiled suddenly. "Guys, I don't know about you but I'm
starving." Ray tried to smile also, but failed. "So... Who's
up for pizza?" Peter asked.
"PIZZA!" Slimer shouted as he floated upstairs, excited.
"As long as it's not that pineapple pizza junk, Pete," Winston
said, making a face.
Peter made a face at Winston in return. "That's the best
though, buddy!"
"We'll get half and half, guys - and one for the spud!" Ray
cried, laughing a little.
The guys smiled at him.
"Okay, half and half. Uh, Ray half of what?" asked Peter as he
dialed the number.
"Half with pineapple and half with pepperoni and chocolate
sauce."
Egon put a hand over his mouth.
"Yeah! Yeah! Chocolate sauce," Slimer piped in.
"Chocolate sauce, Ray? Are you expecting?"
Ray looked a little embarrassed. "No Winston, but it's good."
"Yeah! Good! Yummy!" Slimer exclaimed as he rubbed his
stomach.
"So **you** say," Egon muttered, looking positively revolted
at the pizza topping combination being discussed.
Peter shook his head. "Yeah! Hello. I want to order four large
pizzas. One Hawaiian pizza and two with pepperoni and
chocolate sauce... Yeah, you heard me right: chocolate sauce!
Look pal, I'm paying for this and I'll ask for whatever I
want! Yeah. Okay, and one regular pizza. Deliver to
Ghostbusters Central. Yeah... Thanks!" He hung up the phone.
"Jerk!"
The pizza arrived twenty minutes later and the guys ate it and
sat up most of the night talking and laughing. Peter watched
Ray as he and Slimer shared the last piece of pizza. 'I'm
going to help you, Ray. I promise.'
******
The next morning Peter called Dwight's office.
"Hello. This is Doctor Summers' office," the receptionist
said.
"Yes, this is Doctor Venkman and I'd like to speak with Doctor
Summers."
"Hold on. I'll put you through."
A few moments later, Peter heard Dwight's voice over the
receiver. "Hello. Doctor Summers speaking. May I help you?" he
said.
"Hey, Dwight. This is Peter," replied Peter calmly.
"Hey, Peter. What's up? Ray's not due for a session until
Friday."
"I have one thing to say, Dwight."
"Yeah? What is it, Peter?"
"We don't need you anymore!" Peter snapped.
"What?" Dwight asked, not believing his ears. "Peter, are you
crazy? Ray still needs my help!"
"You heard me, buddy. We don't need you anymore. Ray's talking
to me. I'll help him from now on," Peter said.
"Peter, Ray and I have been working together. I don't think
this is a wise idea…" Dwight said.
"That's too bad. You're fired!"
Suddenly the phone was taken from Peter's hand. "What do you
think you're doing?" Egon demanded as he put the receiver down
on the table.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm firing Dwight!"
"Peter, you can't do that!"
"Why not? I can help Ray!"
"You're too close to this!"
"Egon, Ray's finally talking to me!"
"I know, Peter, but the next time he may not. You can't fire
Dwight. That's Ray's decision to do such a thing."
"Let's ask Ray." Peter walked away before Egon could say
another word. He found Ray reading. "Hey Tex, I'm going to
fire Dwight and help you instead. Is that okay with you?"
Ray never looked up. He just nodded. Peter turned back to
Egon. "See? He said it was okay. So tell Dwight he's fired!"
He then turned around
Egon walked right up behind Peter. "PETER CHARLES VENKMAN!" he
cried.
Egon yelled so loudly that Peter turned around, startled. He
was not used to hearing his friend be so loud. "What?" Peter
cried back.
"Do you **really** think I'm that stupid? You think I don't
know what you just did?" Egon asked. "You're trying to take
over Ray's life again, Peter, by doing this!"
"What?" Peter cried, defending himself. "No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!" Egon said. "Go back there, make sure Ray's
listening, and then ask him again. He probably didn't even
hear you when you asked him because he had his nose buried in
that book and you know it! Stop being so damned selfish!"
Peter turned away.
"Hey! Dwight's still on the phone," said Janine as she stood
in the doorway.
"Janine, tell him we'll call him back."
"Okay, Egon."
Peter slowly walked up to Ray. "Hey, Tex. Put the book down. I
want to ask you something."
"Yeah, Peter?"
"Ray, I want to help you so I'm going to fire Doctor Summers.
What do you think of that idea?"
"Whatever you think is best, Peter."
"No, Ray. I want to know what you think."
"I don't want you to fire him. He's doing a great job, Peter.
I'll talk to you too, but there are some things I just can't
tell you."
"Okay, Ray. I understand. Thanks." Peter walked away and Ray
went back to reading.
"Well?" asked Egon.
"Dwight stays on."
Egon nodded. "And are you all right with this, Peter? It's
probably the best thing for Ray."
Peter nodded. "You're right Spengs, and no - I'm not really
all right with it, but at the same time I do know it's best
for him. Being in this profession, I know that I'm too close
to him for him to tell me everything. Heck, he probably blames
me for some of the things that happened to him."
Egon put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "He doesn't blame you,
Peter."
"Oh no? I see it in his eyes, Egon, because we weren't there.
I saw it when we talked the other day, and I see it now."
Peter shook his head. "No, Egon. He blames us and I think
that's why he likes talking to Dwight because he's too ashamed
or embarrassed to tell us that."
"Peter, are you sure about this?" Egon asked. "You can't
presume this."
Peter shrugged. "Right now it's just a guess, Egon. Until he
tells me more, then I won't know so I'm not assuming anything.
Right now, I'm just hoping and praying that it will work
itself out and Ray will be all right."
Egon nodded in agreement with Peter. They were all worried
about Ray and it made them all act a little irrationally. They
were worried that they would never have the fun-loving,
excitement-filled Ray that they used to have before.
The next day, Ray was up and eating breakfast when Peter
walked in. "You're up early. That's not really like you,
Peter."
"I heard you get up. Thought I'd take you to see Dwight
today," Peter replied airily as he poured himself a cup of
coffee.
"No, you don't have to. I'll take a cab."
"Ray, I really want to."
"I know, Peter, but I really want to go by myself."
"Ray... I'd feel a lot better if I went with you."
Ray got up as he finished the last of his juice. "I'll talk to
you later, Peter."
Peter sighed as Ray left and looked out the window, watching
him get into a cab. "Yeah. Later, Ray."
When the cab pulled up, Ray paid for the fare, walked into the
building and he headed for Dwight Summers' office suite.
"Hello, Ray. The doctor will see you in a moment," the
receptionist told him with a smile as she showed him into
Dwight's office.
"Thanks." Ray sat down and leafed through a magazine.
"Hello Raymond," Dwight's friendly voice filled the air as he
walked into the room.
"H-Hi Dwight," Ray sighed. He looked around the room nervously
because he felt uncomfortable lying on the couch.
"Something the matter, Ray?" Dwight asked
"M-Maybe I can come back another time," Ray got up and started
to leave
"Wait a minute. Have a seat, Ray. If the couch bothers you,
you can sit in the chair and talk to me. I won't bite," Dwight
said with a smile.
Ray shuddered when he said that. He decided to go to the couch
instead of having a seat. He lay down, looking up at the
ceiling to avoid Dwight's gaze.
"Was it something I said?" Dwight asked, pulling up a chair.
"Something they did to you?"
Ray had tears in his eyes, but he nodded. "Y-Yes… Well, i-it
was Hicks… When he had me… He said…the same thing, and t-then
he bit my arm…" Ray shuddered again. "I-It was h-his idea of a
sick joke."
"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories,"
Dwight said, taking notes. Ray watched silently as Dwight
wrote on his pad. "You said earlier that you weren't raped.
Ray, are you hiding something?"
Ray turned his head toward Dwight. "I wasn't raped."
"Ray, there are different types of rape. You may not have been
raped physically, but emotionally, you were."
Ray suddenly sat up. "Stop saying that! I wasn't raped!"
"Look at you! You haven't been able to cope with anything.
Every sound makes you jump. You're on the edge. You're pushing
your own friends away."
Ray got up and paced the floor. "I wasn't raped. I... I... I
was hurt. The guys deserted me!"
Dwight wrote more down on his pad. "You said that Hicks bit
you and you were naked at one point. Why were you naked?"
"I don't know! Stop asking me that! Peter's right!"
"Peter's right about what?"
"You're not helping."
"I can and so can Peter as soon as you admit that Hick raped
you emotionally."
Ray turned and left without saying a word. Dot watched him
leave, knowing that something was wrong. She hurried into
Dwight office.
Dwight was on the phone. "Calm down, Peter! Yes, he's very
upset!"
"I'll calm down! What did you say to him?"
"I just wanted to admit he was emotionally raped. Once he
does, we can help him."
"No, Dwight. I can help him. I don't care. Ray needs me. I'll
keep you on, but Ray needs me now." Peter hung up the phone.
"What's wrong?" asked Winston.
"Dwight upset Ray. I'm going to go find him."
"Do you know where he might go?"
"I've got a good idea where he might be," Peter replied grimly
as he walked out the door.
******
"I wasn't raped! I wasn't raped! I wasn't raped!" Ray kept
saying over and over in his mind. He kept having flashbacks
and he shook them away, desperately trying to forget them. He
finally burst into tears. He was sitting on a bench right next
to his parents' old house. This place brought peace to him
sometimes, but not today. If he admitted he was raped then it
was true and he just couldn't do that.
The flashbacks wouldn't leave him alone. Ray stood up and
tried to think of something else, something that would block
them from his memory, but nothing worked. He started jogging
around the block and then came back and sat on the bench,
exhausted.
"Have a nice run, Tex?"
Ray slowly lifted his head. "Go away, Peter! I want to be
alone."
"Since when did you become Greta Garbo?"
Ray turned away from him.
"Dwight called me."
"So?"
"He said you got upset with him."
"He said I was raped."
"And?"
"I wasn't."
"I see." Peter sat down on the bench next to Ray. "Tex, what
do you think rape is?"
"What kind of a question is that?"
"Just a question, that's all."
"When you're forced to have sex."
"That's one type of rape, but there are others. I noticed
those bite marks. Did Hicks do that?"
"Yes," Ray answered, avoiding Peter's gaze.
"And I guess he called you all sorts of names and put you
down. In fact, I bet that he made you feel lower than a
snake."
Ray looked up, tears now escaping from his eyes. "Yes. He did
all that."
"Ray, that's raping someone mentally."
"Peter, please help me! I'm so scared."
Peter reached over and pulled Ray into a hug. "I will, buddy.
I will."
*****
That night back at the firehouse, Peter sat down at his desk
going over some bills. He was thinking about what he and Ray
had talked about. Emotional rape, though not as bad as
physical rape, could still leave behind scars. Peter sighed as
he finished up the bills.
"Hey, man. You okay?"
"Hi, Winston. Yeah, I'm peachy. Just worried about Ray, that's
all."
"Yeah. Me too, man."
"Winston, how are you holding up?"
Winston shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, I'm cool, man. Just wish
none of this happened."
"Yeah, me too, Winston - but it did and we've got to deal with
it."
Winston nodded. "I hear you, my man. I just wish it wasn't
Ray."
"I know. I'd rather it had happened to me than the kid, but
that isn't the case. He's hurting, Winston... He's hurting and
I feel like there's nothing I can do," Peter sighed.
Winston placed a hand on Peter's shoulder. "You're doing
everything you can, Peter, and that's keep us sane as well.
You're doing more than your share, buddy."
Peter nodded, sighing.
Ray came down a minute later. "H-Hi Peter-" he said.
"Hi, kiddo. You want to talk?" Peter asked.
Ray nodded.
"I'll leave you two alone, my man," Winston said, smiling at
Ray.
"Thanks Winston," Ray said quietly.
"What do you want to talk about, buddy?" Peter asked.
Ray stood, nervously staring at Peter. "Peter, I want you to
know that I appreciate what you are doing for me, but there
are just things that I can't tell you right now."
"Why, Ray?"
Ray walked over to the pole and stared down through the hole.
"I guess I feel you won't like me any more."
Peter walked over to him. "You know that's silly, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I can't help thinking it. Dwight told me one way to
get over the bump was to re-act it out."
"What? You mean everything?"
Ray nodded.
Peter turned away for a moment before turning back to face his
friend. "It sometimes works. It lets the victim change the
outcome, but it can also backfire. If you do decide to do
this, I want us to be there."
"I already told Dwight that."
"Good. So, do you want to do it?"
"It might be the only way, but I'm scared," Ray admitted.
"Just remember this time it's not real and we will be there."
"Yes Ray .Peter is right we will all be there ."
Ray and Peter turn to see Egon and Winston.
"Thanks Egon."
The next morning everyone woke up early, even Peter. Winston
woke up to make pancakes for everyone. Ray came out rubbing
his eyes.
"Morning partner," Winston smiled.
"Morning," Ray yawned.
"One pancake or two?" Winston asked.
"Uh… None, really. I'm not too hungry," Ray said as he lowered
his head.
Winston handed Ray a pancake anyway. "Ray, you need to eat
something. So please, don't make me force you. It could get
ugly."
Ray smiled and nodded. Peter and Egon arrived shortly after.
They also sat down and had breakfast. Once breakfast was done
and cleaned up, they all got into Ecto and drove to the
doctor's office. Sitting in the back seat, Ray kept fiddling
with his hands.
"You'll do fine, Raymond," Egon said as he put a hand on Ray's
shoulder.
"I-I'm glad you guys are with me," Ray replied, trying to
smile.
When they arrived at Dwight's office, they were told to go
straight in. Dwight walked over to them. "I'm glad you all
decided to help Ray in this. Now I need to tell you what to
expect. I will place Ray under hypnosis. This way he will be
able to remember everything but the outcome will be
different." Dwight paused when he saw the look on Ray's face.
"It will be okay, Ray. I will have a suggestion word to bring
you out. "
Ray nodded.
Dwight nodded in return before facing the other Ghostbusters.
"Now, you three need to listen to this carefully. While under
hypnosis, Ray will see everything as it was when he was a
prisoner, you three included. In other words, he'll see you
three as the men who kidnapped him. So, if he attacks you or
whatever he might do under hypnosis, I don't want any of you
go off in a temper saying that Ray blames me. If you do, I'll
end this so fast that your heads will spin. Do I make myself
clear?"
All three of them nodded. Dwight took Ray over to a couch.
"Ray, please lie down and relax. Take deep breaths, all
right?"
Ray slowly lay on the couch. "I want you to focus on this and
my voice," Dwight said as he reached over for a large piece of
clear crystal. The light hit off the angles of the crystal,
making little images of rainbows on the wall.
Ray's breathing slowed as he reluctantly allowed himself to
relax. His eyelids began to droop slightly as he focused on
the crystal Dwight held in his hand.
"Ray, you are standing on a hillside. The sun is shining and
the air smells fresh and clean. Can you sense that?" Dwight
murmured soothingly.
"Yes..."
"Now listen to me: when I count to three, you will no longer
be there but in the place you never want to see again. Do you
understand?"
"Yes."
"I'm going to count, but before I do, remember busted. This
word will bring you back. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"All right... One... Two... Three."
They all watched as Ray's features suddenly transformed to an
absolutely enraged _expression as he stood up and stared at
them. He then turned to face Winston, his lips pulled back in
an ugly snarl. "Hicks, you filthy piece of crap, I'm gonna
kick your butt from here to next Tuesday!" Ray yelled as he
threw himself at Winston. "I'm gonna make you pay for what you
did to Winston, that poor girl, and me! Do you hear me, you
piece of slime?"
Ray began punching Winston but the older man was holding the
punches at bay.
"Stop him, for crying out loud!" yelled Peter.
"No, I'm okay. Ray needs to do this!" Winston said, raising
his voice so he could be heard over Ray's shouting. "Let him
be!"
"You bastard! How could you do this to anyone? What kind of a
man are you?" Ray screeched as he continued trying to punch
Winston.
Egon rose to his feet. "Winston, I agree with Peter. This must
stop before someone gets hurt!"
Ray suddenly turned around. "You two shut up! Hicks is gonna
pay for everything he's done!" Ray suddenly placed his hands
on Winston's throat and began squeezing.
Winston remained calm but Peter didn't. "BUSTED!" he yelled.
Ray shook his head and then stared down at his hands around
Winston's neck. "Oh my God... Winston... I'm sorry... I didn't
mean to," he muttered, slowly removing his hands from his
friend.
"It's okay, Ray. I'm okay."
Egon whirled around to face Dwight. "What was that supposed to
do? Ray could have killed Winston!"
Dwight ignored Egon and spoke to Ray. "How do you feel, Ray?"
Ray looked around. "A little confused but I also feel relief -
like something heavy was taken off my back that was weighing
me down."
"It was your fear. Once you stood up to Hicks, your fear left
you." said Dwight. A few more sessions and I think you will be
fine."
Ray smiled. He wiped his eyes when he realized they were
watering. The guys silently walked outside.
Peter put an arm around Ray's shoulder. "Are you feeling any
better, Tex?"
Ray nodded. "Yeah, Peter. I am, really."
Peter squeezed Ray's shoulder. "You don't blame us?" he asked.
Ray didn't answer for a second.
"It's okay, buddy. You don't have to answer right now. It's
like Dwight said, after a few more sessions, you'll be your
old jumpy self again," Peter said with a grin.
Ray returned the shoulder squeeze. "Thanks Peter," he
whispered.
The sessions lasted a few more weeks and Dwight was right -
Ray was finally reverting to his normally cheerful self. The
night after the last session, Peter was sitting down on the
sofa reading over the bills.
"Peter?"
Peter looked up at the sound of Ray's voice and smiled. "Hey,
Ray! Come on over and have a seat."
Ray sat down on the couch and gazed at his friend for a long
time before speaking. "Peter, do you remember when you asked
me if I blamed you and I couldn't answer you?"
Peter nodded. "Yeah, I do."
"Well, now I can. I did at first. I didn't want to, but I
couldn't help it. But I don't blame you guys now."
Peter stood up and gave Ray a hug. "I'm glad, Ray. So, are you
up for a game of cards? How about a game of gin?" he asked as
he picked up a deck of cards and they walked into the kitchen.
"Only if you don't cheat."
"Cheat? Me? Ray, I'm hurt!" Peter replied in a mocking voice.
"Ray laughed as he sat down at the table. "Just deal, Peter!
Hey you guys, we're playing gin!"
The other three joined them in the kitchen and they all had a
good time.
The End
