Hermione Granger had invited her friends Ron and Harry out to London with her and her girlfriends Padma and Luna, as a break from studying for University exams. They were walking up and down the street; trying to decide what bar they wanted to go into. The first played nothing but disco, which only Harry was fond of, and they had to drag him forcibly away. "Please, no Disco Harry tonight!!" Ron was heard to be screaming, as Hermione and her laughing friends grabbed Harry's other arm as strains of "Kung Fu Fighting" floated through the air.
The next bar was a swing club named the Black Cat, where they stayed for a few songs as Ron spun Hermione and Padma through the likes "Zoot Suit Riot". Luna was forced to run back to the Disco club when they discovered Harry had gone missing again.
Finally they all agreed on a small little karaoke bar. The patrons' singing was interspersed with music videos of random bands on huge screens on two walls of the bar. Hermione settled in with a nice fuzzy navel at the bar, while Harry and Ron went through the music list, and Padma and Luna went to the ladies. A rather drunk, but slightly familiar slick haired man settled into the stool next to her. She could feel his eyes staring intently at her.
"What do you want!?" she asked him, as he continued staring at her.
"Do you know the way to San Jose?" He whispered to her.
"Ummm, no, not really." She answered.
"Pity" he said, and continued staring at her.
"Do you want anything else?" she asked again
"I want You to want Me?"
"Argg" she replied, and went to see what Harry and Ron were up to.
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"Well, I think we should all do YMCA first as a group, and then Good Times, or maybe I Will Survive, I really like that one." Harry was saying. Groans answered him.
"I think we had way too much of your rendition of "I Will Survive" at the party after we defeated Voldemort." Ron nodded vigorously with Hermione.
They relented to all singing YMCA together, and then went to sit at a table, and watched some music videos. The bar was just beginning to fill. They watched a very interesting Nine Inch Nails video that inspired Padma to admit that the lead singer reminded her of Professor Snape. They laughed hard enough to annoy the singers that were starting to sing the next karaoke song, and Padma blushed bright red.
But the next video after the singers caught Hermione's attention. It was a newer group that seemed to have roots in the hair band craze of the eighties. She was drawn to the lead singer, who seemed very familiar.
"Now if you're looking for someone to remind you of Snape, there he is," Hermione told the group, pointing to the lead singer on the screen. Who had just hit a really, really high note. And was wearing a white rhinestone jumpsuit, with a v down to his navel.
"Is Snape that limber?" Luna remarked, as the singer kicked a leg almost over his head.
"But look at his face, same nose, same eyes, and he has the same hands." Hermione insisted. She always noticed hands.
"With bright red nail polish." Ron noted, "I think Snape would be more of a dark red polish kinda guy." Harry snorted.
"The nose is the same." Luna finally admitted "Big and ugly"
Hermione could not convince her friends, but she was sure that the man on the screen had to be Snape's long lost brother, or cousin, or something.
~~**~~
Hermione was still remembering the Snape look-a-like the next day after her exams. Like most of the Hogwarts girls, she had had a crush on Snape while at school. She had thought herself over it, but her fantasies had returned to her last night, and now her black robed fetish had turned into a weird jumpsuit fetish. She found herself getting on her muggle computer, and instead of studying, browsing the bands website. She found out they were having a concert the next week, in Portsmouth, and ordered a ticket for herself.
After she ordered the ticket, she tried to remember all she could about Snape after Voldemort was defeated, and found out that she didn't really know what he was doing now. He had immediately quit his job teaching potions, applied for Defense Against the Dark Arts, been refused again, and then left the school entirely. 'Yes, teaching potions and being a Spy to being in a hair band- right, Hermione', she thought to herself. 'But if it's just his hot younger brother or something at least it would explain why he never wanted to talk about his family….' Her fantasies continued.
Concert day came, and she came early to catch the opening act, and get a good spot by the front. Her first interesting observation was that the stage smoke was coming from cauldrons, and not from smoke machines. Could be just normal props for the band she reasoned, as she waited for them to be done with sound check.
"I Think I Love You." A voice whispered by her ear suddenly. She screamed.
"Aren't you that guy from the bar last week! What the hell are you doing here?" she looked on in horror, at the strange slick haired man.
"I'll Stand by You." He answered, nodding sagely.
"Ok, I suppose you can stand by me, but just don't talk to me anymore."
"Lets Talk About Love." He smirked
"Why don't you just die and put you out of my misery." She groaned, pushing her way farther to the front through the crowd.
The band came on, and the lead singer came prancing onto the stage. He had Snape's long black hair; only now instead of slick and greasy it was frizzy and wavy. A lot like her own hair, she thought, twirling a strand of it. But his had white blossoms in it for a headband. She frowned. But there was the nose… and then she saw his coal black eyes, set off with bright blue eye shadow, and she KNEW it was him. Not a brother, not a cousin, but one Severus Snape, rock princess.
