The guitars wailed, but Snape's voice soared higher in falsetto, he kicked, he nanced about, his lips pursed and pouted. But he could rock. She jumped up and down and screamed with the fangirls… and with the fanboys.
After the concert, she joined the mob getting autographs, and when she made it to Snape, she smirked, and leaned over to talk into his ear, her breath heating the silver cross hanging from his lobe. "Hi Professor Snape, great show."
He smiled up at her, the smirk he was so good at, but this time it reached his glittering eyes.
"So you found me out. I wondered who would discover me first." He grabbed her arm, and pulled her beside him, and whispered "Now I have to kill you" Hermione couldn't help herself, she started laughing while Severus dragged her to the bus, much to the disappointment of all the scantily dressed groupies.
"Most people would not laugh at a death threat from me, Miss Granger." He muttered, pulling his flowered headband from his hair.
Hermione could barely stifle her laughter, pointing at him, and gasping incoherent words. "It all just finally hit me" she managed finally, as they stopped by the door of the bus, and she leaned her back against it. "You really are in a.." more explosives giggles "… hair band. "
"Yes, you have an amazing grasp of the obvious Miss Granger, 10 points to Gryffindor" he said dryly
More hysterical laughter "Even…. Better… than Neville's Boggart…"
Snape just shook his head and sighed. "Well, you might as well come on in." he said, opening the door of the bus and walking in, not bothering to see if she was following.
~~**~~
Back on the tour bus Hermione kicked back with some beers, Snape and his band mates, two other wizards and one squib. She found herself perched on the edge of couch, drying her cheeks of the tears from laughing so hard. She was suddenly a little nervous about being on a bus with three men she didn't know, and one professor she thought she had figured out, but who apparently had some secrets she would never had guessed at. Such as a rather sweaty, hairy chest and a penchant for rhinestones.
"Did you like the show Hermione??" Evan, the squib asked, tying his frizzy mop into a ponytail, and sipping a Zima.
"I loved you all." she answered, "But why aren't you guys a wizard band instead of trying to make it in the muggle world?" The looks they gave her then could have given a basilisk pause.
"Potter, its all Potter and Blacks fault." Severus muttered darkly into his drink, suddenly looking much more familiar with an angry scowl, even though the silver lipstick was still alarming.
A heavy silence followed his words, and Hermione, never one to let matters lie, tried again. "What did Harry's dad and Sirius do?"
Snape cursed, and went to the back of the bus, slamming the door behind him. Evan sighed, and decided to tell Hermione The Story.
"Well, you see, back when we all went to Hogwarts, our fifth year we decided to start a band… but even then our music was about the same as what we play today. But those bastards heard we had started a band, and decided that they should too."
Hermione jumped in her seat as the sound of glass breaking came from the back room.
"There's a lady present Sev, knock it off lad!" Angus pounded on the divider to the back of the bus.
"He still takes it a bit hard, lass" Angus explained, "He can carry a grudge, old Severus can."
Evan continued with his story. "So there's James, playing lead guitar, and Sirius with these crazy vocals, the music sucked, but there was Sirius going all Ziggy Stardust on us. They had all the glitz, the glam…"
"Goddamn posers." Perry punched the table "But the ladies loved them! Who came to our concerts? Not anyone, they were all at the Marauders shows."
"They got all the attention, all the girls…" Angus shook his head
"The world just wasn't ready for us yet. Our time just hadn't come yet, and when the hair band craze came in the eighties…" Evan sighed, "Severus had since gone off like a fool and taken the Dark Mark and we never talked anymore, all the fuss with Voldemort, then the aftermath of the war. We just didn't feel like playing anymore. It was a sad time for everyone."
"But now, Severus has finally broken free of Hogwarts, and Voldemort is gone forever, we decided to try it again. And I think the muggle world is much more appreciative of our art than the wizards ever could be." Perry smiled at her
"The wizarding world be hanged, I'm through with them!" Snape had come back out with the rest of them, and looked just a little more normal in jeans and a t-shirt. Hermione had a chance to see that the Dark Mark was only one of many tattoos that Snape sported. She especially liked the red heart with wings, and "your name here" written inside, on his left bicep. The dark mark was still very visible and sinister, but so was the buxom naked woman that appeared to be straddling it. She found herself staring at both of them.
"Yeah, that one really frightened Fudge when he saw it for the first time." Snape said, noticing her interest.
"The Dark Mark would be a very intimidating thing to him." Hermione said primly
"Nah, he meant the titty-girl!" Angus guffawed "Prolly the first time ol' Cornelius ever saw such a thing!"
Hermione had the grace to blush, and sank down into the cushions of the couch.
"Well, we're headed for the Three Broomsticks for a little after the show relaxation. Severus, why don't you invite your lady friend along?" Perry asked, standing and smiling apologetically at Hermione, who managed to blush even redder to his surprise.
Severus on the other hand smiled broadly. "Of course. You want to go out for drinks with us darlin?"
~~~~**~~~~
Authors Note: Thanks to all of you who see my story as the amusing bit of imagination that I hoped it to be. I realize this Snape is completely off character and having a bit of fun :)
I will firmly support my bizarre fascination with the band known as The Darkness. Falsettos Rock my small minded world.
All reviews are appreciated, the harsh ones serve as more inspiration than one may think.
Natsumi the Pirate Girl I admit I feel for your bookcase, what did it ever do to you?
Falling Alone, all will be revealed…
Barbi-Bee (go fellow cross-dressing challenger!) , and Hobo-Hobisho, Thanks!!
