It's taken me a while, but I've come up with the perfect fate for Boromir. Thanks to Bookworm2000 and Erestor (the later doesn't really know about their accidental role in inspiring me). This chapter is dedicated to both of you.

'Hey Gimli,' asked the 'rock' from where it sat beside him in the boat he shared with Legolas.

'What is it Rocky?'

'Rocky?'

'Yes, do you like your name?'

'Uh. anyway, what was it you said to Galadriel and Celeborn?'

'I told them that I spit on their grave.' The dwarf replied quietly. 'But now I realize that I should have directed the comment at Celeborn alone.'

'Oh. I see.'

'Merry, I'm hungry. Boromir, I'm hungry.'

'We know.'

'Right. Okay um. I'm hungry.'

'There was only so much more the travelers could take.' Boromir muttered.

'You can say that again! If you don't quit that commentary, you're going to find yourself in the bottom of the river. Oh, and Pippin? That goes for you too.'

Both shut up, for a time.

After a while, the never-ending trees opened up onto a small clearing where, on either side of the river were two large totem poles, defaced with graffiti as they were. None-the-less, they were still an interesting sight.

'What is that?' Pippin asked.

'Like you care!' Merry replied, his patience on a short string.

'I do! I honestly do this time!'

'Shut up, it's the Argonath.' Boromir said, upset that he wasn't allowed to continue his commentary. This was such a dramatic moment, too.

Shortly after, they pulled up on the shore. Frodo hurried off, hoping to get a few moments to himself without having Sam clinging to him or Merry and Pippin shouting Christmas carols in his ear.

Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas, of course, didn't notice. Gimli was engaged in a conversation with 'Rocky', and Aragorn was polishing his cocktail sword and sulking because he was clean (Frodo and Sam had 'accidentally' capsized their boat a while back). Sam had gone to sleep, and amazingly enough didn't wake up when HIS master disappeared. Merry and Pippin were reading their new book.

Boromir, on the other hand, did notice, and he went off to see what the problem was. Besides, they needed more firewood.

'None of us should wander alone.' He said upon finding the hobbit.

'Why? Are you scared of being alone?' Frodo countered.

'Uh. "no", why do you ask?'

Frodo thought about this a moment, then shrugged and started to edge away.

'Why do you recoil? I am no thief!'

'I never said you were! You know, I bet you want the ring.'

'Why would I want that it's all ugly and evil and-' Frodo held up the chain on which he carried the ring. '-And shiny. oo, perty. I like the glittery gold-y band.' A rock came out of no where and hit the man on the head, knocking him unconscious.

'That's MY master you're talking too!' Sam yelled from the shore. Frodo ran, only to fine that the trees were now crawling with the evil chipmunks of doom, the only thing of which Frodo was more afraid of than Sam.

In the chaos, the ring bearer managed to climb into a boat and start to row away, but it was not to be. Sam soon caught up to him, and forced his way into the boat with his master. They headed on towards what they hoped to be Mordor.

In the meantime, Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli were desperately trying to fend off the attacking rodents.

Merry and Pippin were making friends with them, as pg. 23 of 'How to Kill Your Cousin Without Setting His Crazy Gardener On You' suggested they do. Besides, if all else failed, Merry was determined to end Pippin's insatiable hunger. If that meant eating a chipmunk-stew, then so be it.

Boromir woke just in time to see the two younger hobbits making off with hoards of little furry animals. 'Good thing Gandalf's not here.' He muttered, only to have Aragorn come up and step on his hand. 'OW!'

'Sorry, don't put your fingers under my feet and it won't happen again.' He was happier than he had been; the chipmunks had messed up his hair enough that he looked somewhat dirty, even if he didn't smell too bad. Yet.

'Oy, Gimli, let's go after Frodo and Sam.' Rocky began, but then seemed to change his mind. 'On second thought, Merry and Pippin are probably the safer bet.'

'Right.' The dwarf replied. 'Aragorn! Don't you think we need to go after our brave leader Merry?'

'Um. oh, right. Let's go then. Boromir, are you alright?' The gondorian was staring at the river.

'It's so shiny. not golden, but still perdy.'

'Uh, right. Come on.'

And so they set off after Merry and Pippin.

End of 'The Company of the Band' Up next, 'A Couple of Castles', which will continue in this fic. I want to keep everything together.

Bookworm2000 ~ My favourite reviewer, *smile* Thank you so much for that little tid-bit of information, it's been bugging me for a really, really long time. And yes, they still think he's mute; I put that in just for you. The Acronym was for Espionage. I was quite happy with M&P's gift too; it'll come in useful to them. Well, it would if Sam hadn't just dragged Frodo off. Oh, and you're welcome for the review!

Arwen, I will try to answer all your questions. Frodo is afraid of Bilbo because for 33 years he lived with his uncle's annoying habit of jumping out at him and yelling 'you're looking for it, I know you want it!' The wraiths are white and shiny because their not really wraiths, their wreaths, that is, Christmas. Merry and Pippin want Frodo dead for no really reason other than it's amusing to write. The comment about Sam breaking Rosie's heart was just there because it's something a lot of people say concerning young women. Bilbo is afraid of his old travelling friends because he doesn't want to go on another adventure with them. Frodo was hiding from Gandalf because he crashed the wizard's cart and was afraid of what was going to happen to him. No, I'm not picking on the hobbits. Not only, anyway. STRIDER gets the worst treatment. I'm assuming that, providing you kept reading, you understood why Gandalf didn't want to be around Sam. There, does that help?