Chapter 30: Don't Give Up Hope
Harry and Ron stood transfixed, staring at the Disillusioned person standing against the wall across from them. Harry heard
the doors of the Great Hall open and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the teachers begin to filter in from their unsuccessful
search of the castle.

"Professor McGonagall!" he cried. She turned to come towards him, but she was beaten by Professor Snape.

"What is it now, Potter?" he snapped, striding across the Great Hall.

"There's a person over there - against the wall - Disillusioned-" Harry stuttered, pointing at the wall. Professor Snape hurried
over to the wall to examine it.

"I see no one, Potter," he hissed quietly. "And I am quite tired of your little games. There are much more serious events going 
on right now, and all you can do is look for imaginary intruders?"

"But-" Harry objected, faltering as he stared back at the wall. It was now blank and empty, as normal. Snape stalked off, joining
a group of professors over in the far side of the Hall.

******************

Hermione still had not been found. The security in the school had been heightened and prefects, professors, and ghosts 
patrolled the halls at all times. Professor Lupin was seen strengthening the shields that prohibited apparation and Professor
McGonagall frequently was spotted walking past the statue that covered the passage to Hogsmeade, ensuring that the charms she
had placed upon it had not been broken. Harry's prefect duties had been cancelled; because he was the assumed target of this 
sudden kidnapping, Dumbledore thought it was safer for him to stay inside of his dormitory or classrooms at all times. Ron had 
been assigned to follow him. Harry hated the thought of someone following him night and day, but tried to remain calm; he knew 
Ron had no choice in the matter.

Harry and Ron were distraught over Hermione's disappearance, but there was nothing to do but follow Dumbledore's advice and
stay out of trouble for the time being. Reluctantly, Harry admitted to himself that he could not save Hermione right now; he
did not even know where she was. Dumbledore assured them both that he was working with the Ministry of Magic and had sent out
many aurors to find her.

Half-heartedly, Harry found himself facing the year's first Quidditch match. Dumbledore had refused to cancel the sport in 
fear that it would lower the students' spirits. Harry wasn't sure he could feel any worse, even if Quidditch had been cancelled.

"Okay team, I think that's enough," Harry called out after only 45 minutes of flying. It was the week of the big game
against Ravenclaw and the entire team had been flying poorly. No one's heart was in the game, especially Harry's. Ron had
let in every shot that was made against him and the Quaffle had been dropped an uncountable number of times. 

"Just when we were getting good," Jack Sloper mumbled sarcastically as he walked off the field.

"Well, Harry, you tried," Lavendar Brown said, sighing.

"Don't worry, Harry, they're going to find her," Ginny said, laying a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I sure hope so, Gin. I sure hope so," he replied, staring up mournfully at the dark sky as the first few cold raindrops fell
onto his face.

*****************

That evening, Harry walked slowly towards Professor Dumbledore's office for his first Occlumency lesson. He knocked quietly on
the wooden door and was told to enter.

"Harry, welcome," Dumbledore greeted him warmly as he entered.

"Hello, Professor. Any news about Hermione?" he asked, not daring to hope. Professor Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed
his hands tiredly over his face.

"I'm afraid not. There are some leads, however. We're doing our best." Harry simply nodded. He was tired from practice and only
wanted to get into bed. He knew from last year's experience that this was probably the worst time to practice Occlumency - when
he was tired and weak. However, he hadn't wanted to disappoint Dumbledore, and as he stood in the office, he learned even more
reasons why he should be there.

"Harry, I'm afraid the situation with Miss Granger may put you at even more of a disadvantage. I don't want Voldemort breaking
into your mind again. We don't want any repeats of, well, similar situations..." Harry cringed as he thought of last year.
Sirius, he thought, his heart breaking at the mere thought of his Godfather. He nodded towards Dumbledore, swallowing
hard. "In any case, I want to hear about all of your dreams that have any connection to the Dark Lord. Not normal dreams, I
think you know the kind." Harry nodded again. "Practicing Occlumency may weaken your mind for the time being, but in the future
you will be grateful that you learned. Now, please stand right over here...." They placed themselves in opposite corners of 
the office. "First, Harry, I'm going to try to break into your mind, but I'm not going to seek a specific memory, do you 
understand? This should make your defense easier. Clear your mind." Harry closed his eyes tightly, imagining a white space.
There's nothing there... Everything is blank... he thought to himself. 

"Ready?" He heard Dumbledore ask. "On the count of three... one, two... three. Legilimens!"

Harry kept his eyes tightly clenched shut. He could feel a presence trying to break in, but he kept pushing it out. Stay
away, he told it. Give in, it replied. It will be so much easier. A sudden memory floated in front of his
eyes: Rachel, leaning in to kiss him. NO! he thought powerfully, pushing the memory away. Suddenly the sensation stopped.
He opened his eyes.

"That was amazing, Harry. I had no idea you were that talented. Let's try a specific memory now, shall we?" he asked. Harry
agreed, and Dumbledore raised his wand again. Harry slipped his wand into his pocket; he didn't want to accidentally curse
Dumbledore like he had done to Snape last year.

"Legilimens," Dumbledore said again. This time Harry wasn't quite as prepared, but still managed to gain control over his
own mind again. He suddenly found himself remembering the dragons at the Tri-Wizard tournament during his fourth year. Clenching
his hands into fists, he tried to block it from leaving his mind but failed. Dumbledore stopped.

"Well, that will take a bit more practice. But really, you've done wonderfully so far. Just so you know, Harry, within the next
few weeks I will begin to instruct you in Legilimency."

"Legilimency? I'm going to be able to read people's minds?" He was amazed at the thought. Dumbledore chuckled. 

"In a manner of speaking. Be forewarned however, that Legilimency is much harder than Occlumency." Harry nodded before gathering
his things and leaving. The lesson actually had not gone that badly, and it had taken his mind off Hermione for a short while.
Hermione, he thought to himself sorrowfully. Where are you?
********************

Harry walked back from his lesson alone; Ron, for once, was not following him. Must be in the common room, he thought,
climbing in through the portrait hole. However, as he glanced around, it was apparent that Ron was not there. The noise level
was considerably lower than normal; most likely because the fear of intruders had scared the younger students. Harry made his
way over to a corner where Neville, Seamus, and Dean were playing a game of Exploding Snap. 

"Hey guys," he greeted them. "Seen Ron lately?" His question caused the group to go silent immediately.

"He's upstairs," Neville began quietly. "He's really upset Harry, about the whole Hermione thing, I think. I don't know if you
should go talk to him or just let him be alone for a while..."

"Mate, he's been up there for a bloody hour now!" Seamus argued. "Go on, Harry, go up and have a chat with him. I'm tired of 
being down here, I'd like to go up to my own room!"

"I'll go talk to him," Harry replied, standing up and walking towards the steps to the dormitories. He heard Dean mutter behind
him in a soft voice, "I hope he's okay." Harry stood outside his own bedroom door and knocked quietly.

"Ron? Are you in there?" he asked, his voice raised.

"Leave me alone!" came an angry voice on the other side of the door.

"Ron, please let me in. I know you're upset, I'm upset too," Harry pleaded. He heard the lock click and he cautiously opened
the door. "Ron?" he said softly. Ron sat hunched on the floor, his face in his hands, tears streaming down and his breath
ragged. Ron looked up at Harry hopelessly. 

"What if they never find her, Harry? What am I going to do?" he whispered, choking back a sob. "I miss her so much..." Tears
stung Harry's eyes as he bit his lip to keep from crying, but it was too late. The tears were flowing freely anyway. He sat
down next to Ron and placed his arm comfortingly around his friend's shoulders.

"So do I, mate. But she'll come back. Don't give up hope."

*******************

For once, the Qidditch season passed without Harry even noticing. Gryffindor lost their first game against Ravenclaw; Cho had
been smirking at him for weeks, but he didn't even seem to notice. Nothing was the same without Hermione. It seemed like all of
the other houses had gotten over her disappearance and had moved on with their lives. Even most of the Gryffindors could be 
seen laughing and joking in the hallways. But life for Harry Potter and Ron Weasley had come to a stand-still. Not even Rachel's
gentle voice could comfort Harry any longer.

The Occlumency lessons continued. As Dumbledore had suggested, they did indeed weaken his mind, but not to the extent of last
year. His worst dreams were of Hermione; they proved she was still alive, but in what state, Harry didn't even want to guess.
He only told these dreams to Dumbledore; he was afraid of what would happen if he told Ron, who was getting more depressed with
each passing day.

Neither Harry nor Ron had decided to go home for the holidays; Harry of course had nowhere to go, and Ron still hoped that
Hermione would show up and he wanted to be at Hogwart's when she did. Harry found himself one evening sitting in a chair
facing the window in the common room, completely empty except for himself. Ron had gone to bed early, as had Harry, but yet
another nightmare had disturbed his sleep. He had awoken panting for breath and drenched with sweat; in his dream, he had
been Voldemort and he had been using the Cruatious curse on Hermione. Unable to fall asleep again, he had escaped to the 
common room where he sat alone, the cold window in front of him his only connection to the outside world. 

Tomorrow's Christmas and I don't even care, he thought to himself, shaking his head. He couldn't remember a more
dismal Christmas Eve, even when he was living with the Dursley's. At least then he had felt happy for the season; even with
the spectacular snowfall in front of him, however, the Christmas spirit was missing.

He stared outside at the snow which had begun to swirl; a blizzard was beginning, the storm
had just started but it was getting more forceful every minute. Harry shivered with the chill of the room but didn't have the
energy to get up and get a jacket or blanket. Instead, he realized the winter had become like his very mind, cold and uncaring
about anything. He felt like he was an empty shell; he was the solitary snowflake being thrown again and again against the
window. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass and stared down at the window pane outside. Three snowflakes fell into
view, each similar but different in its own way. He smiled, thinking of how he, Ron, and Hermione had perfectly complimented
one another's personalities. And now she was gone. It had been nearly a month since her disappearance, and the hope that she
would be found was quickly draining from Harry's mind. He stared out the window again and thought about the coming day; tomorrow,
the rest of the world would wake up and open their gifts, but Harry knew he wouldn't care even if he didn't get anything. All 
he wanted was for Hermione to be safe.

Harry heard a sudden "pop!" and turned to see what it was. Dobby the house elf grinned up at him from under his many layers of
hats that Hermione had knitted; on top of all this a sprig of mistletoe and some Christmas bells were perched precariously.

"Hi Dobby," Harry greeted him wearily. "Do you have to work on Christmas Eve?"

"Oh no, sir," Dobby replied, shaking his head. "Master Dumbledore is giving all of the house elves today and tomorrow off, sir!
I is coming to see you, Harry Potter, because I is knowing you is still missing your friend. I is knowing you is lonely. 
You is wanting some hot cocoa, Mr. Potter?" he asked, offering him a steaming mug.

"That sounds wonderful, Dobby. Thanks a lot," he answered, taking the cup. He raised it to his lips and drank; the wonderful
chocolate taste reminded him of the first time he had met Remus Lupin on the train to Hogwart's. He smiled at Dobby.

"Merry Christmas, Dobby," he said. 

"Merry Christmas to you too, Harry Potter," Dobby replied, disappearing. Harry finished his cocoa, still staring out the window.
He drifted into a deep but fitful sleep, tossing and turning in the small armchair in the Gryffindor common room.

***************************

Sorry it's so depressing! I promise, the next chapter will be happier. Thanks to my reviewers - you're awesome, as always.
Contrary to popular belief, I don't enjoy torturing people, I just love having suspenseful endings! For those of you who hate
cliffies - thanks for reading anyways!

I've also noticed a lot of new readers!! Welcome! I hope you're enjoying the story!