Disclaimer: Potterworld is mine! Mwahahahahaha! No siriusly (hahaha) its not mine, its JKs, I just borrow the characters, and cast the Imperius curse on them to make them do what I want.
Nobody can stop me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hmm... yes...
Summary (somewhat mangled):
In his 7th year of Hogwarts, the boy-who-wouldn't-bloody-die encountered Voldemort (again :P).
The Prophecy was fulfilled.
Voldemort was killed by Harry, who used some weird random spell that destroyed him, but somehow brought back all those that Voldemort had killed, right back to his parents, through Voldie's wand.
Don't ask me how, I have no idea, this is just some weird explanation for this story.
Well, anyway, now Harry has parents again and he's like *yay!*
So they rebuild their house in Godric's Hollow, and go live there.
Remus comes too, and somehow the veil at the ministry went kaput and Sirius was able to cross back into the realm of the living (hey I never said he was dead, in fact, I don't think he is dead. Why should he be dead? I mean, fair enough, Jk says Harry'll never see him alive again, but maybe he's sorta in between? Hell, I'm making no sense. I just don't wanna think Sirius is dead. Nooooo! Not Sirius!)
ANYWAY, so Sirius is living with them too, and now everyone is happy all the time, and Harry has the life he always dreamed of.
Wormtail is dead, because I say so. And no, no one killed him, Harry somehow exploded everything with the killing of Voldie and he died in the explosion.
Fudge isn't Minister anymore, he got kicked out. Now Arthur Weasly is, cos I say so, and because there is evidence in the 5th book that says he will be. U no, when Ron says that they have about us much chance of winning as his dad does of being the next Minister of Magic, and they win! So that's my logic, too bad if you don't like it :D
Harry hasn't seen Petunia, Vernon, or Dudley since before 7th year, and he really doesn't care either. Petunia, of course, has no idea that Lily is alive again, so hee hee hee :D
Catch my meaning? Excellent, lets begin...
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Chapter 1 – A Fudgey Revenge
"So, Harry," James said, wiping tears off laughter from his face as he scrambled back onto the couch, "where on earth did you spend the past 16 years? When you weren't at Hogwarts, I mean."
Harry's face darkened, joyous mood forgotten. "The Dursley's" he muttered angrily.
"The WHAT?!" his mother and father were on their feet in an instant.
"Mum, Dad, calm down! It's not like I had anywhere else to go!"
Lily was looking livid. "If I find out that that stupid, evil," – here Lily inserted some more words that would drive up the rating of this fic – " sister of mine made your life hard, if she was ever mean or hurtful to you, if she ever treated you badly, she will regret it oh so very much." She declared defiantly.
James obviously figured he couldn't put it any better than that so he just stuck out his chin and proclaimed with a mighty air,
"Yeah!"
Harry raised an eyebrow. "That was very intimidating, Dad."
"Hey...!"
Harry just shook his head. "No, mum," he said, not wanting to cause a fuss, "It was fine there."
Lily relaxed a bit. "All right, but if I ever find any evidence that you were mistreated, Petunia is going to have some explaining to do."
Harry nodded, and made a mental note to cover such evidence.
"Yeah," said his father, always slower on the uptake than his quick-witted wife, "and that goes for me too! If that great big lump of fat that calls himself a muggle hasn't been good to you, I'll turn his hair dark green, and make his face fluro pink, which, I might tell you, I think matches perfectly fine!"
"Are you kidding!?" James' wife shrieked, "when you came out wearing abysmal outfit yesterday morning, I almost had a heart attack! You do not wear a fluro pink tie with a dark green shirt, it simply does not match! No scratch that! It makes me wanna puke! Its disgusting! How could you even think of wearing that tie– "
But James was spared from his wife's wrath as Sirius and Remus burst into the room, out of breath. Instead, she turned on them.
"Where have you been?! Its been 6 hours since you left and I was started to get worried! You stupid, insolent – "
"Yes Mummy," Sirius grinned as he cut her off, "but please, spare the ear drums."
Lily just glowered, but James looked curious. "No seriously, where have you been?"
Remus and Sirius' grins grew even wider.
"Uh oh, " Harry muttered (fairly loudly of course), "why don't I like the look of that?"
"We," said Sirius with pride, as Remus grinned like a maniac, "have been Fudgey hunting!"
Silence hung over the house for a moment, then Harry and James burst out laughing. Lily, however, looked scary.
"You've been WHAT?!" she screamed "You've been tormenting the EX -MINISTER FOR MAGIC?!"
"Uhuh!" said Remus, quite proud of himself. "After all, he does deserve!"
Lily crossed her arms.
"Oh come on Lils!" Sirius whined. "You know what an idiot he was! He sent bloody dementors after me, he refused to believe that Voldemort was back, and didn't realise til a year later, which got me thrown into that bloody veil, and you know what he said about Harry! He told everyone that he was a raving lunatic!"
Lily's expression softened at the mention of her son.
"What did you do to him?" she sighed.
"Well, we investigated a bit, and found out he was very, very much afraid of worms, and huge black dogs that look an awful lot like grims..."
"Oh no" she groaned, "what'd you do?"
"Well," Remus jumped in, "first Sirius and I located him at the Leaky Cauldron, where he's staying. We found him down at the bar drinking a butter beer, and Sirius transformed, waltzed right up to him, and slobbered all over his robes."
Lily's mouth twitched.
"Then, when he realised that there was a monstrous black dog, that looked an awful lot like a grim, drooling all over his clothes like a pathetic stray..."
"Hey! I'm not pathetic!"
"I'm so sorry Padfoot, would dismal or hopeless be a better word?"
"Hmph." *evil glare*
"Anyway, I think he got the impression that it was attacking him, and he emptied his butter beer all over the man next to him, who wasn't very pleased, as you can imagine."
Lily started sniggering uncontrollably.
"This is the part where I come in. We had painstakingly collected about 60 worms and put them in a jar. Sirius had run away, and transformed back into a human. Fudge was apologising profusely to the man, and had performed cleaning charms. While he was grovelling, I levitated the worms down the back of his robes. He didn't feel them at first, but then they started wriggling, and he started dancing around the pub waving his around his back."
Lily was now rolling around on the floor at the image of portly Fudge looking like a crazed monkey.
"And then, Padfoot came back inside, walked right up to Fudge and said something horribly intimidating to him, which I believe was "Hellooooooo Fudgey Wudgey! Didya miss me?!" Fudge of course was absolutely terrified, and started screaming. So here he was, dancing around the pub like a maniac, and screaming to everyone that Sirius was gonna kill him."
Lily was now in stitches, tears streaming down their cheeks. Harry and James weren't doing much better, and Sirius and Remus were grinning like idiots.
"Yeah," said Sirius, "and the funny part was that everyone knew I was innocent and had been pardoned, so they were all getting a bit scared of his antics. Old Tom decided he was drunk, and tipped a bucket of icey water over his head, and Fudgey ran up to his rooms screaming. Looking for some soltitude, I imagine. Of course he didn't realise that we'd also put worms in his bed, so I imagine he guests of the Leaky Cauldron will be getting a nice scream any time now!"
"Well," said Remus a couple of minutes later, when the laughter had died down, "it was worth it wasn't it."
Needless to say, Lily approved.
~*~*~*~
Well, more chapters are coming! Probably 1 to 2 more. It's not a very big story.
I'm sorry if this wasn't really written that well, it was just a spur of the moment thing u no?
You'll all live!
Tschüss!
