Chapter 6
"The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting right next to you, and know that you can never have them."
--
Ash fumbled with the key in his jacket pocket as he and Melody reached the top
of the stairway in his building. He felt her latching onto his arm as he
tried to unlock the door to his apartment. They eventually succeeded in
getting inside and he was relieved at the fact that he could finally sit down
and try to forget about the heartache he had previously experienced.
"That was a fun party," Melody announced. Ash nodded mutely,
barley taking recognition to her words.
He shook his head to himself, wondering how everything had become so messed
up. He had a girlfriend, so why was he even upset about this? In
his heart he knew it was wrong for him to continue misleading Melody but she
was his only source of comfort, he needed to at least feel loved by someone
even if it wasn't the person he wanted to be loved by. It was all just
one big mixed up cycle. Melody loved Ash, Ash loved Misty, but Misty
loved Rudy. The surrealism of it all, made the entire situation at hand
seem like some poorly written soap opera plot.
Ash's musings were interrupted as Melody continued to give her input.
"Misty and Rudy looked so happy," she informed in her usual chipper
tone.
"Well, at least someone is," Ash muttered harshly under his breath,
too busy wallowing in his own self despair to hold up his end of the
conversation.
Melody laughed at what she interpreted as his tired appearance. "Are
you a little drunk, sweetie?" she queried impishly and Ash managed a faint
nod despite the fact that the few beers he consumed did not have a thing to do
with his inner turmoil. "I should have been watching you better,"
Melody giggled once again. "But me and Tracey were too busy keeping
an eye on Brock. It's weird, I've never seen him so wasted before,"
she finished with a quizzical expression and Ash smirked in disbelief.
"Are you kidding me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"We're thinking about sending him to an AA meeting." Melody
smiled again at his small joke.
"Well, anyway, getting back to the subject of Misty and Rudy," she
began once more and Ash's expression immediately darkened at the sound of the
two names together. People were always referring to the both of them at
the same time, as if they were one unit. But Ash knew it was impossible
for them to complete one another, Misty was twice the person than Rudy would
ever be. "I seriously think they
are going to last a long time," Melody went on, interrupting his
musings. "I mean, they just look so great together, don't you
think?"
He shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "I guess," he mumbled
under his breath, casting his eyes toward the floor. The resentment in
his tone did not go unnoticed by his girlfriend this time and she immediately
knew that his lack of interest in the happy couple was not alcohol induced.
"Uh oh," Melody remarked, eyeing him seriously. "I'm
sensing some bitterness in that voice of yours. What's up, what's wrong
now?"
"Nothing," he mumbled, fixating his gaze to the ground.
"Ash..." she said, moving closer toward her boyfriend and placing her
arms around his neck. "What is it? Come on, you can tell
me."
Ash sighed. "It's just.... Misty." As soon as he finished
Melody's expression faltered and she removed her arms from their position.
"Oh?" she inquired, trying to sound more concerned than agitated.
"I just really don't think that Rudy is the right guy for her," Ash
continued and Melody tried to keep her emotions in check.
"Why?" she asked through clenched teeth.
He shrugged. "I don't know. Misty is so sweet and caring and
Rudy is, well, he's not so much, I'll tell you that," he scoffed, letting
out a humorless snicker. "I mean, Misty..." Melody felt
her irritation reach the breaking point and she could no longer hold back.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed loudly, averting her gaze from him.
"When is this going to end? It's always Misty-this, Misty-that, I
mean, enough is enough!" A sense of exasperation and tiredness was
added to her tone as she spoke. "It's like you're obsessed with her,
she's all you ever talk about!"
"Well, Mel, she is my best friend," Ash cut in harshly.
"I know. And she's my friend too but you don't see me bringing her up
in every one of our conversations or feeling the need to mention her when we're
having a romantic moment or badmouthing her fiancé every five minutes!"
she cried. "Seriously, what is your problem? Are you jealous
or something?" Neither own of them spoke and Melody's mouth went
agape as a realization dawned over her. "Oh my God, you're
jealous..."
"No!" Ash interrupted her, once again denying a very truthful
fact. "Why?" He let out a forced laugh to try and
convince her so. "Why would I be jealous?"
"I don't know, why don't you tell me? I mean, it's pretty obvious
don't you think? You're not over her."
"Mel, there was never anything between Misty and me..."
Melody was the one to interrupt this time. "Yeah, but you wish there
had been," she concluded. "And it's pretty clear that you still
love her."
Ash sighed. "Mel, no I don't, I love you," he forced himself to
say, although, he secretly was thinking the exact opposite.
"Do you? Or am I just a substitution so you can try and get your
mind off of what you can't have?" she queried weakly and Ash no longer
found the strength to deny what she had surprisingly figured out to her
somewhat ditzy personality.
Melody exhaled strongly, pulling her jacket back around her. She
approached Ash with a sincere expression on her face. "Look, I'm
sorry that I'm not her and that I couldn't give you what you needed. But
as a friend, can I give you a little piece of advice?" Her question
was obviously not one that was meant to be answered because she began to speak
before Ash could even get a word or a nod in. "Move on," she
stated bluntly. "You seriously need to. Because no other woman
is ever going to settle for being second place next to what you never
got."
Ash still did not say anything, forcing himself not to listen to her words
although he had heard them numerous times from many different people
lately. He couldn't move on, because moving on would be giving up... and
as long as he was still living and breathing, Ash would never give up a chance
to make Misty his own.
Melody watched as her now ex-boyfriend became deep in thought and she shook her
head, naturally assuming who he was thinking about. She leaned up and
pressed a kiss on his cheek as a sign of closure. "I'll see you at
the wedding," she told him quietly before making her exit.
Ash watched her departing figure and listened as the door slammed behind
her. He sighed heavily, raking a hand through his hair and forcing not to
let any of the tears that threatened fall. He did not understand why he
would cry now. Melody had been fun to be with, but it was not as if he
had lost very much along with her, he had already known that their relationship
could never last. He then shook his head to himself, frustrated. He
knew why he was so upset, it wasn't because he had just lost Melody, it was
because she had just reminded him of everything he did not want to face.
Ash glanced around his apartment, suddenly feeling more alone than ever.
He couldn't be in this place for any longer, Melody's blunt words of reality came
shooting back to him and he had to do everything in his power to block them
out. He needed something that made him happy even it was just for a
little while and even if he could not possess it. And with that fact, Ash
grabbed his keys and exited his apartment, driving his car in the direction of
the Cerulean gym.
--
The car door to Rudy's sleek convertible slammed shut after it had come to a
complete stop in front of the Cerulean gym. Misty gazed up at her fiancé
as they retreated from the vehicle and began to walk down the path leading
toward the gym.
"I had fun tonight," she lied, while resting her head on his
shoulder. She looked up at Rudy, waiting for him to response in agreement
but he said nothing, he was simply staring off into space like he had something
more important on his mind. "Rudy?"
"Huh?
Oh, yeah, I had a great time too, baby," he replied somewhat distractedly
as he placed a kiss on her head before he returned to his pensive state.
"So, you know..." Misty began. She stopped in her path and
turned to face him. "Lily went home with the waiter and if I know my
sister I won't be hearing from her until late tomorrow morning," she
snickered slightly. "We have the whole place to
ourselves."
Rudy smiled lewdly. "So what you're saying is you want us to have some quality alone time?" Misty rolled her eyes incredulously. Why was it that everything she said to Rudy, he immediately interpreted it as something with a sexual reference? She had honestly wanted to sit down and talk with Rudy, if she was going to have to spend the rest of her life with him she might as well start to try and stand him a little bit.
"Yeah," she
responded flatly. "Some quality time with our clothes on that is," she
clarified in an annoyed tone of voice and Rudy immediately cringed at his misinterpretation
of what she had been implying.
"Oh, I know," he chuckled in a somewhat forced tone.
"Look, babe, I would love to, believe me," Misty frowned for a
moment at what seemed to be sarcasm on his part, "but I have this big work
thing back at my apartment to do tonight."
"Oh," she responded flatly, unable to find any other response.
Rudy leaned
down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Rain check?" he
questioned. Before Misty even had a chance to respond he was walking back
down the pathway and into his car.
"Okay, sure," she finally answered as his car was driving away.
"That's what you always do anyway," she added under her breath.
Misty shook her head to herself. It wasn't the fact that she would not be able to spend the night with Rudy that bothered her; it was the fact that he was the one rejecting her. Misty's feelings about Ash riddled her with guilt so she always felt too bad for rescheduling plans with him. He, however, had no problem with it, and that was what pissed her off to no end. She needed to be the one in control of the relationship; she wanted to be the one that Rudy had to create his schedule around. Deep down, she knew it was a stupid reason and very wrong, but still, with everything that was going on, Misty needed to feel that she had some control in her life.
A sigh escaped
her lips as she made her way down the long pathway that led up to the
gym. She stopped several feet in front of the entrance when she noticed a
person sitting on her doorstep, his/her identity unknown due to the shadows of
the night. She took a step closer and a quizzical expression formed on
her face as she was able to decipher who it was.
"Ash?" Misty inquired upon making out the figure. He lifted his
head up, confirming her statement, and she immediately approached him.
"What are you doing here?"
Ash sighed. "Oh, nothing, I just needed someone to talk to."
She offered a weak smile and plopped a seat next to him on the step.
"Well, that's what I'm here for," she told him cheerily.
"What's going on?"
"Melody and I broke up," he found himself saying.
"Oh, honey," she muttered sympathetically. She reached over and
stroked his arm affectionately. "I'm sorry." Ash waved
his hand, indicating that she had no reason to apologize.
"Don't be. I was actually the one who ended things with her."
Misty looked confused. "What? Why?"
"I don't know," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.
"I just didn't see us having a future," he informed, pleased that his
answer at least held some recognition to the truth within it.
"And you just realized this now?" she inquired with a raised
eyebrow. "I mean you had been with her for a while."
He shrugged his shoulders aimlessly. "I guess," he replied in a
somewhat tired tone. "Everything has just been really screwed up
lately, you know?" he asked, sighing longingly. Misty averted her
eyes toward him sympathetically, although not understanding that he was
referring to his heartache over her engagement rather than his breakup.
"Ash, don't beat yourself up about this," she told him gently in a
comforting tone. "There's somebody else out there for you."
I know, I'm sitting right next to her,
Ash thought to himself bitterly at the same moment that Misty wished that she
could apply to her last comment. He sighed heavily, raking a hand through
his hair. "Yeah, right," he mumbled under his breath.
Misty stared at him sympathetically for a moment before speaking.
"Hey," she said, taking a grasp of his left hand with her
right. "You know, you've always got me."
"Do I?" Ash interrupted softly, bringing his gaze to meet
her's. "I'm not going to have you for much longer, Myst. Soon
you'll be married, having kids, and you and Rudy will have to move out of the
city to be near a Volvo dealership or something," he muttered and Misty
managed a slight laugh at his conclusions of her future.
"Okay, number 1; I would never drive a Volvo," she bluntly stated,
causing Ash to crack a smile. "And number 2," she went on in a
more serious tone. "What are you talking about? What happened
to everything you said to me? What happened to our promise to always be a
part of each other's lives?" she asked weakly.
Ash sighed. "I don't know," he responded in a somewhat tired
tone while stretching his legs across the steps. "Everything is just
changing so much..."
"Yeah, but we won't change," she interrupted. "You and me
always," she spoke, quoting what he had said to her in the car.
"Remember?"
He hesitated for a moment before responding and letting his previous thoughts
vanish for the moment. "I remember," he spoke, while entwining
his fingers with her hand which was still holding his own.
Misty grinned. "Well, good," she said softly. She inched
closer to him and moved her free hand to rest on his arm. "And don't
you forget it," she reminded him in a playful tone, while adding a slight
laugh.
Ash stared at her for a moment, astounded by her beauty as well as the kindness
she was displaying toward him. The moonlight flickered off her angelic
face, leaving an illuminating glow on her gorgeous features. They were in
the perfect romantic setting, sitting at night just intimately talking with one
another. Had this been a made-for-television movie, Ash would have
admitted his undying love of her and she would have returned it, forgetting all
about the man she was to wed. But this wasn't fiction, [[A/N:
Yeah, okay, lol]] this was real life. His feelings would not be
returned and all that could result was awkwardness between him and Misty as well
as Rudy, and a loss of the friendship that they had so intently spoken of with
one another. But still, he could not sit there and say nothing, so
instead he said the words he had been rehearsing for so long, leaving out the
essential parts which would confirm his love for her.
"You are incredible," he stated and Misty blushed slightly at his
blunt compliment. "Really," he assured, having noticed her
modestly dismiss the comment with a wave of her hand. "You've been
such an important part of my life, Myst," he continued. "The
most important for that matter. I know the circumstances of our meeting
were entirely by accident, but that had to have been the best accident I ever
made because had I not, I would have never of met you." Her smiled
widened as he continued, touched by his heartfelt words. "What we
have goes beyond friendship, Misty, beyond everything, it's... forever."
Misty stared at him intently for a moment, taking deep consideration into his
words of comfort and tenderness. A profound sigh escaped her lips as she
leaned over and embraced him in a hug, a gesture which he immediately accepted.
"God..." Ash murmured as he wrapped his strong arms around her,
breathing in her sweet scent and running his fingers through her silky
hair. A sudden thought entered his mind as he recalled how his actual
confession of his devotion to her was supposed to end. He hesitated for a
moment; taking consideration into what he was about to say and what kind of
reaction she would have to it. In the end, he found himself no longer to
hold back and he spoke his next words, words which she would interpret in
regard to their friendship and when he meant their actual meaning. After
taking a deep breath, Ash found himself saying those words with as much emotion
as he could.
"I love you, Misty."
She froze as soon as the statement left his mouth. She felt her chest
tighten as well as her hold on him did and her breath get caught in her
throat. Those simple morsels of speech had such a strong impact upon her
for they were what she had so desperately been dying to hear for years on
end. Never directly had Ash told her that he loved her, he said he loved
things about her or loved spending time with her but never did he say that he
actually loved her. Half of
Misty felt overjoyed but the other half was filled with overwhelming
sadness. It was clearly obvious that he had spoken the words in a
friendly manner and not in the romantic way she wished he had meant them.
And that fact pained her more than anything, that she had gotten what she
wanted but not the way she wanted it. However, Misty still managed the
only applicable response, unbeknownst to Ash that her reply meant more than
friendship.
"I... I love you too, Ash."
TBC
--
A/N: Well, one couple broken up, only one more to go before everything is hopefully worked out ;). I hope you liked this chapter, the next one will be up shortly, please review =)
