Chapter 11
"Why do we always hurt the ones who love us… and love the ones who hurt us?"
--
I hate you, I love you
I just can't remember to forget you
Who are you, who needs you?
You make me feel alive, I die, so high
I'm crawling on the ground
I have found I can fly
One of these days it all comes together
One of those days that goes on forever
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever
What's it all about?
It's about life, it's about fun
It's over before it has begun
It's about you, it's about me
It's about everything between and I say
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you
with no clue
It's about time that I
Make up my mind
The cool breeze rustled throughout the trees, causing whatever was left of their green leaves to sway in the wind, winter was rapidly approaching and it wouldn't be long until snow was cast upon the ground. The sun had well risen above the horizon, falling into late morning and lighting the forest with its illuminating glow. The sunlight reflected off of the clear blue body of water creating a mirror image. Misty gazed deep into her reflection which she saw in the river she stood in front of.
A longing sigh escaped her lips as she took recognition into her location. A part of her really did not know why she had chosen this place of all places to stand and think of how drastically her life had changed within the past ten or so hours. She had come here several times before whenever she needed to do some serious thinking, most of which regarded Ash. She did not know if he was the main reason for her coming here this time, however. This was the place they had met but Ash was not her fiancé who she had found in bed with another woman not so long ago.
She still did not understand why she hadn't cried yet. Misty expected herself to burst into endless tears and lock herself in her room for months, moping around the house about losing her 'true love' But she wouldn't do that. Because in all honesty Rudy had not been her true love. Hell, she never even really loved him at all. He was simply someone she had settled for when in reality she knew it was not the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Sadly, however, that particular person did not return her feelings and she had stupidly pushed him away with her own naivety.
Misty's eyes lingered to the engagement ring which she had yet to remove from her hand. An annoyed thought flew through her head as realized at all the canceling and explanations that were going to have to be made. She remembered Rudy's muffled 'Can I at least keep the ring?' after she slammed the door to his apartment and she immediately became disgusted with herself for not noticing the sings earlier. She glanced down at the diamond once again. She had a half a mind to return it and keep the cash he had paid for it herself. Her own conscience ruined that idea, however. Although it would certainly pay her back for all the money she had lost investing into the wedding she knew deep in her heart it wouldn't be right.
And on that note, Misty slid the piece of jewelry off of her finger before throwing it into the lake, witnessing as it splashed on top of the water and sunk beneath the surface.
She found a smile creeping onto her face for some unknown reason as the ring disappeared from her vision. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was now free of Rudy, and would no longer have to deal with the lies he had fed her for God-knew how long. One other issue still remained, however. Her situation with Ash.
She still could not believe some of the things she had said the night before. In her heart she knew she had not meant most of them, but her anger for at Ash for what she thought was him trying to deprive her of what he interpreted as happiness overpowered the very truthful fact that he had never once lied to her. She remembered the hurt evident in his gaze when she accused him of not speaking the truth. It was as if her siding with Rudy had pained him in the worst way imaginable and her simple denying of his words had pushed him over the edge. She also recalled the emotions readable on his face when she had asked him to give her away. His reasons behind it seemed to go beyond the fact that Rudy was not the man she was meant to marry. They seemed more personal and applicable to his own best interest. But for some reason Misty could not decipher what that particular emotion was.
And then suddenly, out of nowhere it hit her. Like a ton of bricks and the force of an earthquake it smashed against her mind and opened her eyes up to the hidden meaning behind the countless situations she had been completely oblivious to see. It was plainly obvious and Misty found herself disgusted by her own naivety and blindness to what had been right in front of her face the entire time.
It all made sense to her now. The reason behind his blushing whenever she playfully kissed or hugged him. The reason behind why he would get overjoyed by a simple positive comment from her and become depressed over a minor argument. The reason behind why he stayed forever by her side for the past fourteen years, not even leaving when gaining his title but actually moving to the city she lived in the be closer to her. The reason behind his intense stares into her eyes and the way he would become speechless when seeing her in her full beauty. The reason behind why he had been saddened when hearing the news of her and Rudy's engagement and the reason why he had said the things he did to her the previous night. All of those reasons added up and only came to one possible solution. He loved her. Ash had been in love with Misty all along, and she had never known it.
An incredulous sigh escaped Misty's lips as the startling realization dawned over her out of nowhere after over a decade of obliviousness. Her own feelings for Ash had blocked out what she had not been able to see, her own fears of his rejection forced her to believe he could never think of her in that way and they would be nothing more than best friends for as long as they were together. It was truly unbelievable.
A wave of sadness washed over her as she began to imagine the wonderful life they could have had together. By now they could have already been married after years of being in a relationship. They would have had the perfect future that every person dreamed of one time or another. Childhood sweethearts falling in love and spending the rest of their lives together. It was a fairy tale cliché, one that Misty had always fantasized about as her future, and it could have been true.
It can be, she thought to herself suddenly. Misty did not know why she was berating herself for depriving the wondrous experience she could have been indulged in with Ash. That dream of her's could have very well been proven as reality. He loved her, she loved him, she was single now and everything was as it should be. They would finally have what they had each been so desperately wanting forever.
With a wide smile and an excited expression Misty scampered off, hurrying to get back into the city... and hurrying to start the life she so longed to have.
--
It's simple, confusing, the truth is I'm winning but I'm losing
And pulling and pushing, won't do me any good
It could, it should
I'm honest to myself that the truth is I lied
One of these days it all comes together
One of those days that goes on forever
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever
What's it all about?
It's about life, it's about fun
It's over before it has begun
It's about you, it's about me
It's about everything between and I say
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue
It's about time that I
Make up my mind
--
Misty frantically turned of the ignition of her car once she had parked it in the desired spot. She sighed, trying to control herself but it was no use the anticipation and excitement she was experiencing would not die down. Here she was, about to do the one thing she had been trying to do for years. The initial anxiousness was unavoidable.
She grasped the door handle preparing to open it once she had checked her reflection in the mirror which opened above the steering wheel. Pulling her jacket tightly over herself she made her way to the doors of Ash's apartment building, slipping inside as one of the building's resident's entered.
She couldn't get up the stairs fast enough. They led to Ash.
Time is creeping behind
me, surrounding around me
Fading the words so desperately
Now give me a reason that I can believe in
Time is something you can't rewind
One of these days it all comes together
One of those days that goes on forever
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever
What's it all about?
It's about life, it's
about fun
It's over before it has begun
It's about you, it's about me
It's about everything between and I say
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue
It's about time that I
Make up my mind
--
Her hands were shaking as she reached the floor that Ash's apartment was located on. It's okay, you can do this, she desperately tried to reassure herself but feelings of uncertainty were arising within her. What if she was wrong? What if she had not really figured out Ash's true intentions? What if he opened the door and was not willing to forgive her, let alone proclaim his love for her? What if this had all been a huge mistake? No, she told herself stubbornly, fighting back the sudden doubts that had begun to overwhelm her. She wasn't wrong, Ash loved her. If she was sure about anything it was that.
Misty exhaled deeply before raising her hand to knock on his door. She pulled her fist away after three sharp raps were banged against the door. Apprehension and impatience she was experiencing were bubbling to the surface and she had to fight to keep her emotions in check. Her breath got caught in her chest as she saw the doorknob begin to turn, but as the door opened to reveal its occupant the excited smile disappeared from Misty's face only to be replaced by an expression of pure shock, anger, and despair.
For instead of Ash standing there, ready to take her into his arms and never let him go, was Melody.
Instantly, a flashback of the night before occurred, except this time it wasn't the same. Other characters were playing the offending roles, but she was still the victim who suffered the hideousness of situation.
She swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in her throat. Oh God, she thought, not again, this isn't happening again.
Melody stared back at her in shock, but her stunned expression was nothing to match Misty's who stared at the appearance of the other woman before her meticulously.
The brunette's make-up was smeared, dark circles of mascara and eye-liner beneath her long lashes, and her hair was a mess. She was clad in a short black dress, high heels decorating her feet. Everything about her appearance was filled with implications, resting on Misty's final conclusion that Melody had indeed spent the night in Ash's apartment.
While Misty was lying in her bed by herself, after having caught Rudy in the act, they had been…
They had been doing the exact same thing her ex-fiancé and that woman had been.
She couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't think, she couldn't even breathe, in this terrifying scenario that was inching over her reality, changing every aspect of her life so fast that it blurred before her eyes. All she knew was that she had to get out of there; her very own sanity depended on getting away from the scene of the crime. Melody opened her mouth to speak just as Misty turned on her heel and hurried down the stairs of the apartment.
She ran as fast as she could, turning down corridors, sharply turning corners, the scene she had just witnessed replayed itself over and over in her mind like a broken record, only one possible explanation available for it. She gulped, blindly running down the hallway as tears welled in her azure eyes.
Never, in her entire twenty-four years of existence, had she felt so hurt, so betrayed, so… stupid.
She had thought she had it all figured out. She had thought her eyes had finally been opened to what she had been blind to see this whole time. She had thought that he loved her.
She had thought wrong.
She didn't know this kind of pain existed. She had been shocked to find Rudy doing just what Ash accused him of but surprisingly, no gut-wrenching heartbreak had enveloped her like it would to most people in her situation. Seeing him there, with someone else, just made her realize how unimportant he had been to her and how she wasn't losing him because quite frankly, she never had him in the first place.
But this, this was different. This was a million times worse. This was Ash.
Misty scampered down the steps as fast as she could; swinging the door of her car open so fast it practically tore off its hinges. She quickly slammed it behind her, plopping down on the leather of the seat, her shaky breathing the only sound that was heard.
Where did she go from here? The endless cancellations regarding her and Rudy's wedding were unavoidable. She absolutely dreaded the explanations she would have to give to her friends, family, caterers, and florists, of why the engagement was suddenly off. She had no source of comfort to get her through this. Ash, who she would have normally run to under any circumstances, was not an option. He had made it perfectly clear the night before that he did not want anything to do with her. And besides, he was probably going to be too busy rebuilding his relationship with Melody to deal with Misty's problems. He was always putting his life on hold for her, desperately trying to make her happy in any way possible, she had never realized just how much she had taken his generosity and kindness for granted.
Until now.
Misty closed her eyes, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness washing over her as she tried to deal with the sudden turn of events that were rapidly changing from bad to worse. She sighed longingly to herself, closing her eyes and raking her hands through her hair.
Before putting her head in her hands and sobbing.
TBC
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A/N: Dun, dun, dun, and the drama grows lol ;) But don't worry, things will get better soon, I hope you've all enjoyed everything up to this point.There's only two chapters to go, including the epilogue. The song is It's About Time by Lillix, please review =)
