I feel the tears in my eyes, but I don't think I remember how to cry.
Forgive me?
It's been so long, and still it hurts. I still see his smile in the mirror, the sadness in his eyes never completely erased by the joy he tried to show.
I wonder if he'd miss me, if I were the one.
I watched in slow motion As the pieces of my life fell apartLike a child building a tower of wooden blocks, on an uneven surface.
Eventually,
The tower must fall.
And the child cries.
I miss him so much. I wonder if he misses me.
I still see you sometimes. A flash of smile, a twinkle in an eye. It breaks my heart.
I know they wonder, I know they blame me.
They should.
It hurts me to look at you now, to think what you were, what you might have been.
You're empty now.
I shouldn't have let you in.
I shouldn't have let you care.
I couldn't have stopped you.
I should have tried.
I still love you.
I wonder if you can still love me.
It breaks my heart to see you,
That loving smile over vacant eyes.
Going through the motions.
You're not there anymore.
I want to cry, but I don't remember how.
You're still here, but you're gone.
I may not have killed you, but it's my fault you're dead.
I wish I could be with you.
I look up, and you're smiling.
There's no joy in your eyes.
I wonder if you remember how you used to smile.
I smile, but there are tears in my eyes.
Can you forgive me?Would I deserve it, if you could?
