Disclaimer - Don't own it, don't want to own it. Also, I do not have rights to the song mentioned in this fic.
A/N - No, I'm not used to writing Mary Sue angst . . . also, this is most definitely not my best work. That would be an original fiction story that is still ongoing.
Now, on with the story!
"Adriana sat up and yawned, still exhausted from staying up late the night before. Ever since her parents divorce, her mother had been treating her unfairly, often taking out her anger on her daughter by yelling at her and calling her cruel names, sometimes even slapping her and blacking her eyes before retreating to her bedroom to cry herself to sleep."
In Adriana's room, I had to hold my head as the stupid name-calling and pointless violence were played out in the hallway, trying not to listen to Adriana's mother's annoying voice, or the Mary Sue's whining.
"Agh! No! I can't take it any more! Where's the suicide scene? I want to get out of here!" I cried.
Just then, an author's note invaded my mind as the time frame shifted. "Like, this like takes place a few days later, after A's mom just finished beating her up and her boyfriend dumped her 'cause she's not pretty enough for him. K, thankies, plz r&r" flashed before my eyes in a horrifying shade of violet.
"Agh! No!" I screamed, as the words were burned into my brain. "Please read and review, please read and review . . . ha ha - Mommy, look at all the pretty lights!" I babbled, slowly losing all sense of reason as the Mary Sue took over.
"In the bathroom, Adriana looked at herself in the mirror and cursed inwardly. Even now, trying to end her life, she was being a coward. She could not bring herself to get a knife and cut her wrists. "I am a coward," she thought. "The kids at school were right. I'm nothing." She shouted it out loud. "I'm nothing!"
Feeling suddenly angry, she picked up a small hand mirror off the counter, and threw it down on the floor, where it promptly broke into a thousand pieces against the cold tile. The sound of its breaking calmed her, helped sooth her mind. There was no doubt of what would happen now.
Calmly, thoughtfully, she turned on the radio to her favorite station. 'Tourniquet' was being played now; she recognized the introduction. Perfect.
She positioned herself on the floor, picked up a piece of broken mirror, and used it to slit her wrists.
The sounds of Evanescence were all that could be heard as slowly her life slipped away."
I awoke lying on a bathroom floor surrounded by small piles of glitter.
"Where am I?" I asked myself, looking at the mess on the floor and wondering what had happened.
"Mary Sues bleed glitter." Said a nonchalant voice from a region somewhere above my head.
I tilted my head forward. Sitting on the toilet, calmly sipping a soda was the character who had been, until a few moments ago, Adriana's mother.
"What . . . happened?" I asked, with the vague feeling that I should be somewhere else.
"The author killed you, dear. Don't worry - it happens all the time. On the bright side, if she doesn't decide to torture you by sticking you in some other fandom, you won't be a Mary Sue anymore." Adriana's former mother answered calmly.
"But - I am the author!" I cried.
"Oh. Sorry. Didn't realize it was a self-insert." My character replied, uncaring.
Just as I was about to protest that it wasn't a self-insert, and that my life would never be as bad as Adriana's, everything melted and ran, only to be replaced by a scene that I knew well. Lothlorien, where a curious Haldir was bending over Adriana's irrate form . . .
Without warning, I felt the story gain control as Adriana awoke to find herself in Arda.
"'Where am I?' Adriana asked herself groggily. 'What happened?"
Beside her, a tall blond man answered seriously, 'You are in Lothlorien, my lady. Or do you not remember?'
'Remember what?' Adriana inquired.
"Your heritage! Why you were sent from Lothlorien! Can you not recall your past, daughter of Queen Galadriel?' Haldir, alarmed, asked her, sounding desperate. 'Can you not remember me?"
"No. Who are you? You look like that blonde guy out of that film - The Lord of the Rings. The one that didn't like the dwarf, Gimli. Who are you?" Adriana persisted in asking.
"You do not remember. I am Haldir - your betroathed! We were to be wed when your mother sent you out of the Golden Wood, out of fear that your sister might harm you. Celebrian was jealous of our love - she was jealous that you had won my heart."
"Celebrian," said Adriana slowly, almost dreamily. "Where have I heard the name before?"
"Your sister, Lossenlossëwen. She is your sister." Haldir told her, sounding desperate.
As one waking from sleep, Lossenlossëwen turned to face him, and, unsure, asked, "Haldir? My love?"
"My darling!" Excalimed Haldir, wrapping her tight in his arms, in a passionate embrace."'
It was about then that I, Melissa, trapped in Adriana's form, almost lost my lunch. "Eugh! Knock it off! I yelled, as their - his and mine - mouths met. "No! Don't! Stop it!"
The story line froze. Haldir peeled away from me as if I had just announced I had the plauge. "Ai Elbereth!" He swore. "What was I doing?"
I didn't answer him, as I was too busy spitting and wiping my mouth alternately.
He drew and nocked an arrow, pointing his loaded bow at my face. "Who," he said softly, dangerously, "are you, to be wandering the Golden Wood?"
I put my hands in the air. "Whoa boy! Don't shoot. My name is Melissa, I'm a fan fiction writer, and currently I am trying to find my way out of his horribly squicky story."
Haldir gave me a suspicious look, and did not lower his weapon. "What is this 'squicky' you speak of?"
"Sick and icky. What just passed between me and you. In all reality, I don't love you, I think that you're more than slightly arrogant, and I'm not an elf. I'm a human by the name of Melissa, as I already said." A thought suddenly occured to me. "Shoot me."
"Why do you wish me to do you harm?"
"Just kill me, okay? If you kill me, chances are that I'll be able to leave this story." I winced as I remembered the form I'd had to fill out. "Or maybe not. Either way, I'll be out of her. Here. Both."
Haldir drew back the bow string, preparing to fire. "As you wish," he said, looking more than slightly sadistic. "I care not whether these Sues live or die."
Just as his fingers left the string, the fic took over again, and the arrow speeding at me disentragated into ashes.
"My love," said Lossenlossëwen, "Should we not tell my poor mother that I have returned?"
Haldir stopped hugging her, apparently lost in thought. "Yes, the Lady will be joyous that you have returned. But I do not know what Celebrian will think - she is married now, with children of her own, but she has not forgiven you, or me, for what happened. She has not forgiven us ever since the plot to kill you and take your place as the heir to the throne of Lothlorien was discovered."
"I know that in her heart she will have found a way to forgive me, for else wise why would she marry?" Lossenlossëwen remarked thoughtfully.
Haldir took both his hands in hers, and got down on one knee. "Lady," he said gravely, "Will you . . ."
Just then, Lossenlossëwen chose to interrupt him. "Yes, my love!" She exclaimed happily.
"Let me take you to your mother?" Haldir finished, somewhat lamely.
"Oh. Very well then." Lossenlossë answered.
Together they set out for the heart of the Golden Wood"
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew. That was the end of the first chapter - now only twenty four more to go."
Haldir glared at me from where he stood. "Twenty and four? Whatever possessed you to write so many chapters?"
I shrugged. "They were short. I thought there should be a lot of them."
He muttered something along the lines of, "Drat these Mary Sues."
I only smirked, happy that even though I was trapped in my own story, Haldir was being tortured along with me.
A/N - This chapter was just . . . squicky. My apologies. By the way, the name for the Sue came from the Barrow Downs name generator. I typed in "Adriana the Mary Sue" and the generator did the rest. :o)
Reviewer Replies: For anyone that has a question, I have an answer!
Almighty Isboo- I have a fan! Hooray! Glad to know that you liked the first chapter - hope that this one didn't make you lose your lunch.
The Noble Platypus - Thanks. I hope you're happy - I reviewed! :o)
nicole297- Here's the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it. :O)
A/N - No, I'm not used to writing Mary Sue angst . . . also, this is most definitely not my best work. That would be an original fiction story that is still ongoing.
Now, on with the story!
"Adriana sat up and yawned, still exhausted from staying up late the night before. Ever since her parents divorce, her mother had been treating her unfairly, often taking out her anger on her daughter by yelling at her and calling her cruel names, sometimes even slapping her and blacking her eyes before retreating to her bedroom to cry herself to sleep."
In Adriana's room, I had to hold my head as the stupid name-calling and pointless violence were played out in the hallway, trying not to listen to Adriana's mother's annoying voice, or the Mary Sue's whining.
"Agh! No! I can't take it any more! Where's the suicide scene? I want to get out of here!" I cried.
Just then, an author's note invaded my mind as the time frame shifted. "Like, this like takes place a few days later, after A's mom just finished beating her up and her boyfriend dumped her 'cause she's not pretty enough for him. K, thankies, plz r&r" flashed before my eyes in a horrifying shade of violet.
"Agh! No!" I screamed, as the words were burned into my brain. "Please read and review, please read and review . . . ha ha - Mommy, look at all the pretty lights!" I babbled, slowly losing all sense of reason as the Mary Sue took over.
"In the bathroom, Adriana looked at herself in the mirror and cursed inwardly. Even now, trying to end her life, she was being a coward. She could not bring herself to get a knife and cut her wrists. "I am a coward," she thought. "The kids at school were right. I'm nothing." She shouted it out loud. "I'm nothing!"
Feeling suddenly angry, she picked up a small hand mirror off the counter, and threw it down on the floor, where it promptly broke into a thousand pieces against the cold tile. The sound of its breaking calmed her, helped sooth her mind. There was no doubt of what would happen now.
Calmly, thoughtfully, she turned on the radio to her favorite station. 'Tourniquet' was being played now; she recognized the introduction. Perfect.
She positioned herself on the floor, picked up a piece of broken mirror, and used it to slit her wrists.
The sounds of Evanescence were all that could be heard as slowly her life slipped away."
I awoke lying on a bathroom floor surrounded by small piles of glitter.
"Where am I?" I asked myself, looking at the mess on the floor and wondering what had happened.
"Mary Sues bleed glitter." Said a nonchalant voice from a region somewhere above my head.
I tilted my head forward. Sitting on the toilet, calmly sipping a soda was the character who had been, until a few moments ago, Adriana's mother.
"What . . . happened?" I asked, with the vague feeling that I should be somewhere else.
"The author killed you, dear. Don't worry - it happens all the time. On the bright side, if she doesn't decide to torture you by sticking you in some other fandom, you won't be a Mary Sue anymore." Adriana's former mother answered calmly.
"But - I am the author!" I cried.
"Oh. Sorry. Didn't realize it was a self-insert." My character replied, uncaring.
Just as I was about to protest that it wasn't a self-insert, and that my life would never be as bad as Adriana's, everything melted and ran, only to be replaced by a scene that I knew well. Lothlorien, where a curious Haldir was bending over Adriana's irrate form . . .
Without warning, I felt the story gain control as Adriana awoke to find herself in Arda.
"'Where am I?' Adriana asked herself groggily. 'What happened?"
Beside her, a tall blond man answered seriously, 'You are in Lothlorien, my lady. Or do you not remember?'
'Remember what?' Adriana inquired.
"Your heritage! Why you were sent from Lothlorien! Can you not recall your past, daughter of Queen Galadriel?' Haldir, alarmed, asked her, sounding desperate. 'Can you not remember me?"
"No. Who are you? You look like that blonde guy out of that film - The Lord of the Rings. The one that didn't like the dwarf, Gimli. Who are you?" Adriana persisted in asking.
"You do not remember. I am Haldir - your betroathed! We were to be wed when your mother sent you out of the Golden Wood, out of fear that your sister might harm you. Celebrian was jealous of our love - she was jealous that you had won my heart."
"Celebrian," said Adriana slowly, almost dreamily. "Where have I heard the name before?"
"Your sister, Lossenlossëwen. She is your sister." Haldir told her, sounding desperate.
As one waking from sleep, Lossenlossëwen turned to face him, and, unsure, asked, "Haldir? My love?"
"My darling!" Excalimed Haldir, wrapping her tight in his arms, in a passionate embrace."'
It was about then that I, Melissa, trapped in Adriana's form, almost lost my lunch. "Eugh! Knock it off! I yelled, as their - his and mine - mouths met. "No! Don't! Stop it!"
The story line froze. Haldir peeled away from me as if I had just announced I had the plauge. "Ai Elbereth!" He swore. "What was I doing?"
I didn't answer him, as I was too busy spitting and wiping my mouth alternately.
He drew and nocked an arrow, pointing his loaded bow at my face. "Who," he said softly, dangerously, "are you, to be wandering the Golden Wood?"
I put my hands in the air. "Whoa boy! Don't shoot. My name is Melissa, I'm a fan fiction writer, and currently I am trying to find my way out of his horribly squicky story."
Haldir gave me a suspicious look, and did not lower his weapon. "What is this 'squicky' you speak of?"
"Sick and icky. What just passed between me and you. In all reality, I don't love you, I think that you're more than slightly arrogant, and I'm not an elf. I'm a human by the name of Melissa, as I already said." A thought suddenly occured to me. "Shoot me."
"Why do you wish me to do you harm?"
"Just kill me, okay? If you kill me, chances are that I'll be able to leave this story." I winced as I remembered the form I'd had to fill out. "Or maybe not. Either way, I'll be out of her. Here. Both."
Haldir drew back the bow string, preparing to fire. "As you wish," he said, looking more than slightly sadistic. "I care not whether these Sues live or die."
Just as his fingers left the string, the fic took over again, and the arrow speeding at me disentragated into ashes.
"My love," said Lossenlossëwen, "Should we not tell my poor mother that I have returned?"
Haldir stopped hugging her, apparently lost in thought. "Yes, the Lady will be joyous that you have returned. But I do not know what Celebrian will think - she is married now, with children of her own, but she has not forgiven you, or me, for what happened. She has not forgiven us ever since the plot to kill you and take your place as the heir to the throne of Lothlorien was discovered."
"I know that in her heart she will have found a way to forgive me, for else wise why would she marry?" Lossenlossëwen remarked thoughtfully.
Haldir took both his hands in hers, and got down on one knee. "Lady," he said gravely, "Will you . . ."
Just then, Lossenlossëwen chose to interrupt him. "Yes, my love!" She exclaimed happily.
"Let me take you to your mother?" Haldir finished, somewhat lamely.
"Oh. Very well then." Lossenlossë answered.
Together they set out for the heart of the Golden Wood"
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew. That was the end of the first chapter - now only twenty four more to go."
Haldir glared at me from where he stood. "Twenty and four? Whatever possessed you to write so many chapters?"
I shrugged. "They were short. I thought there should be a lot of them."
He muttered something along the lines of, "Drat these Mary Sues."
I only smirked, happy that even though I was trapped in my own story, Haldir was being tortured along with me.
A/N - This chapter was just . . . squicky. My apologies. By the way, the name for the Sue came from the Barrow Downs name generator. I typed in "Adriana the Mary Sue" and the generator did the rest. :o)
Reviewer Replies: For anyone that has a question, I have an answer!
Almighty Isboo- I have a fan! Hooray! Glad to know that you liked the first chapter - hope that this one didn't make you lose your lunch.
The Noble Platypus - Thanks. I hope you're happy - I reviewed! :o)
nicole297- Here's the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it. :O)
