I Forgot To Tell You
By trory-goddess
DISCLAIMER: Nope…still not mine. Shocker, I know.
A/N: So…how's it hangin' everybody? I figured since I had some time I'd update and see if anybody still reads this -- I sure hope so. I had a great time writing it, and I hope that plays into you enjoying reading it.
Thank-you's: To Surya, for being an awesome beta and an even awesomer friend -- love you babe; also to the #1 Suser-Llama -- thanks for all the feedback, and for being an amazing person that I look forward to chatting with all the time; and to my love, the Naters (*kiss*) -- you're the best hun; shout-outs and love bunnies to Bumblebee, Lessa, Tayce, Nat, Mel, Stef, Kelly, and any other chatters I forgot -- you all rock.
Onward, and hope you all like it!
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CHAPTER III: Home
'Cause it's you that I'm running to baby
And it's you that I'm feeling for lately
And it's like the pain that never goes away
And it always starts today
'Cause you are home to me…
Standing behind the counter of Karen's Café, Haley sprayed and wiped down the linoleum top with some all-purpose cleaner and a hand towel - like she always did at closing time. She had already closed out the register and put all the chairs upside-down on top of the tables; now she was just burning time until Lucas got out of his game and swung by to either pick her up or walk her home - like he always did at closing time. But, he was uncharacteristically late tonight, and it seemed she was doomed to wipe the same spot on the counter until he showed up. Oh the joy and the rapture…
Presently, a light rapping on the glass door shook her from the monotonous activity and begged her to answer. Only one problem - it was the wrong Scott.
Trying not to appear crestfallen, she put down what she was working with, took off her apron, and made the trek to the door, unlocking it for him to come in.
"Y'know, the sign says we're closed - for all of us who are hooked on phonics and can actually read…looks like we're gonna have to change our tutoring approach, you're - a lot more behind than I thought," she teased, not being able to resist a jab at his academic standings.
Nathan made a sour yet playful expression at her taunting, rolling his eyes.
"Ha ha ha - you should ditch the whole tutoring thing, take your act on the road, you'd make a great stand-up comic…really."
"Well, yes that is true - but my act would pale in comparison to your tour of the talk-show circuit promoting your auto-biography of 'I'm a misunderstood jock bully who suffers from commitment problems but it's never my fault'…"
He gave a surprised face at her wit, still grinning.
"Alright alright, fine - truce, we're even, now would be the time when you tell me why you're here," she redirected the conversation.
"Oh right…"
He got quite shifty and fidgety all of a sudden, clearing his throat more than was necessary - for anybody.
"You weren't at the game tonight," he informed her, obviously not saying what he had intended to.
"You know, Nathan, you're so right - could it be that I was working - maybe? Just a thought…"
"Yeah, yeah I knew that…"
"Right…"
Nathan was getting fed up with himself - this was just ridiculous. He didn't get nervous around girls; if anything, girls got nervous around him. But something about Haley made him lose his game - and not his basketball game either. Rolling his eyes again, he decided to take the plunge.
"And we have attempt number two, folks; let's see how far he gets this time," Haley interjected when she saw his mouth opening.
"Anyway - y'know Prom's coming up pretty soon…"
"That it is."
He waited for her to continue for him, but nothing happened.
"Okay listen…I know you don't really know me, and I don't really know you but - I like you; you're a lot of fun to be with, even though we've only just done tutoring sessions, but whatever, and you're one of the nicest people I know - and - I think it would be cool if we went together."
"To prom," she clarified.
"Well, yeah."
"You want us - to be each other's dates - and go to prom - together…"
"That was the plan."
Now it was her turn to clear her throat and feel nervous.
"Wow, um…Nathan - that sounds really nice and really sweet, but…"
"Is there always a 'but'?"
"I just don't think it's a good idea."
"Why? Oh, let me guess - because of Lucas…"
Haley shut her eyes briefly and sighed.
"Yes…not only have I just got our friendship back on track, but he's still having a really rough time dealing with all the stuff you did to him and to tell you the truth - so am I," she confessed.
"Look, Haley - I know I was an ass to him and - I shouldn't have done all that shit, okay, it was stupid - but I - I can't help the way I feel about you," he told her, his eyes growing serious.
"Well, maybe you should try because us dating - it doesn't make sense, Nathan, it really doesn't."
"I know…I know it doesn't, but - it can. I can be a nice guy, Haley, I just - I need you to give me a chance - one chance, that's all…"
She watched as he handled her face, his thumb caressing her cheek lightly - and she didn't stop him.
"Say you'll think about it," he pleaded, more quiet now that he was closer.
He anticipated she was going to resist him again and he accordingly talked over her.
"It's just one night - I'm not asking you to wear a ring or anything…"
She chuckled at that and was tempted to comply. But then she remembered a conversation she'd had with Lucas not two days ago, the night they'd forgiven each other and rebuilt their friendship; she was sitting on his bed next to him, and he'd asked her…
"I can't - I - I said I'd go with Lucas."
Nathan became resigned and started to drop his hand.
"So he asked you…"
She shifted her vision away, wanting to avoid the subject altogether.
"Well…no, bu -"
"Okay then," he interrupted, his smile having returned.
"But - we said we'd go together, un - unless w -"
He stood, waiting for her to finish her thought.
"Unless we found someone else to go with."
"Hey, look at that - you found somebody," he said, hinting at himself and still invading her personal space.
"But I don't think he meant…"
"It doesn't matter what he meant - it's what he said, isn't it?"
Why couldn't she just say no? This wasn't going to end well, at all - she could see the misery and chaos waiting to erupt, it was practically inevitable…but for some reason, in that moment, looking into Nathan's eyes with one of his hands on her face and the other resting on her arm, she couldn't think of anything else to say except…
"Yes."
"Alright - and whether or not you wanna admit it, I know somewhere, deep down, you like me too."
All she did was smile shyly in response - but she didn't say no.
She wouldn't have had the chance anyway, as their moment was interrupted by the dinging of the bell over the door signaling someone's entrance - and this time it was the right Scott.
Her eyes went to the direction of the sound and were met with a familiar yet saddened light-blue stare, and she froze…possibly from the frigidness of his somewhat icy gaze on her, but most likely from the pain of her own guilt burning a hole through the pit of her stomach.
Nathan appeared to be unaffected by the scene that played out and continued the exchange.
"So you'll think about it?"
Haley barely recognized the sound of her voice over the low drumming in her ears from her heart ready to pound its way out of her chest, but she was somehow able to respond, even though she wasn't really looking at him at all.
"Sure," she heard herself say, and yet didn't really feel like she'd committed to anything except willfully bringing more trauma into her and her best friend's relationship.
Nathan gave her cheek one last brush and made his way to the exit, but not before stopping by Lucas' ear and whispering so only they could hear,
"Oh and uh - sorry about the hold-up after the game, man - you know how the guys get - they always wanna mess around with somebody's stuff…had to be yours I guess…"
With that, he finally waltzed past Lucas and out the door, with no small amount of satisfaction.
The two remaining just stood there, locked in a trance and unable to understand what had just happened. Haley didn't know why she felt so guilty; it's not like Lucas was her boyfriend or anything…
5 MINUTES EARLIER…
Lucas walked up to the glass, prepared to make his way in and greet Haley as usual, but then - he couldn't. Someone else was already there - and he wasn't a big fan of that somebody else either. He watched as Nathan got closer to her than he would have liked, his discomfort only heightened by Nathan's hand on her face. He could care less about what they were saying to each other, why the hell was he touching her? And why was she letting him?
Lucas had seen the way Nathan had interacted with Haley back when he and Haley weren't talking to each other and that whole fiasco, but he never expected anything to come of it, especially since he and Haley had reconciled their differences. But there it was - the ugly truth - pointing and laughing like a hyena right to his face…Haley wasn't his anymore.
He couldn't stand it; he couldn't stand to watch someone else hold her face like that, or touch her arm or look into her eyes or any of it. He'd never felt so insanely and murderously jealous in his entire life…and he had a pretty good idea why.
He felt through his memory and remembered what it was like to look at Haley's face that day, for the first time in a while, knowing she had waited in his front yard for him to come back; he could still see those pigtails, and that favorite outfit of his, and her expressive brown eyes staring back at him, begging for forgiveness. It was the first time that he'd begun to appreciate how naturally and completely beautiful she was. In the minutes and hours that passed, the feeling became more pronounced and he was that much more assured that something was different; she wasn't just his best friend anymore. He just couldn't have been more convinced that Haley could have belonged to him - that she was truly his. It scared the living daylights out of him but was, at the same time, more comforting than anything he'd ever felt for another person, besides his mom, though in a totally different way. And whether he'd told Haley anything or not didn't matter. That feeling had been his solace, and he'd planned to share it with her…eventually.
But now his faith in the strength and value of that feeling had been violently shaken upon viewing her - his Haley - with the bringer of his torment and shame, that ass bag who had put him through hell for absolutely no viable reason. She was letting him touch her; she was giving him a grin that Lucas thought surely had just been reserved for when only they were together. For the life of him he couldn't understand why - but he was going to find out.
Pushing the door open, he stood and waited to be recognized. She was the first to acknowledge his presence, her pleasant expression flattening into a guilty representation of someone who had been caught doing something they knew someone else wasn't going to like. All he could do was stare at her; he didn't really have any cause to be so jealous, it's not like she was his girlfriend or anything…
PRESENT…
Yes, Nathan did have the audacity and gumption to remind Lucas why he'd been late in the first place before gallivanting off like somebody who'd just won a bet or accomplished some devious plan - sick little bastard.
And yes, Haley was still giving him the same guilty look, it was so pathetic. But even so, Lucas had to fight to be angry with her; he was fighting so damn hard…and he couldn't do it.
"What the hell was that?"
His question ended up coming across as curious instead of upset.
"Lucas…"
"What the hell was it Haley?"
"N - nothing, I -" she stuttered.
She could tell by his face that he wasn't taking any crap, so she just collected herself and told him the truth.
"Nathan - asked me to go with him - to prom - as his date."
If anything about his attitude had resembled angry, it was now replaced with heart-broken, and she honestly felt like the biggest bitch in the world.
"Are you serious," he asked his voice becoming small.
All she gave in response was a nod.
"What d - what did you say?"
"I said - I would think about it."
As she finished her statement, she could feel him distancing himself from her, both emotionally and physically, and she scrambled for an explanation.
"Lucas, you said that if we found other people to go with it wouldn't be a big deal…"
"I know…I j - why does it have to be him?"
She dropped her gaze, unable to answer.
"Do you like him," he forced himself to inquire.
It was a fair-enough question - she just couldn't bring herself to respond it, affirmatively or otherwise.
"Haley…"
"I don't know - maybe."
"Wh - what does that even mean?!"
"I don - I'm just - really confused right now, okay? I haven't really thought about it and…"
"Don't make excuses, alright, either you do - or you don't. You can't ha -"
Lucas caught himself, swallowing the words 'You can't have both of us' bitterly and re-evaluating what he wanted to say.
"You can't just not know," he finally got out with much difficulty.
Haley could tell something was different with him; he wasn't relating to her like he normally did, and he seemed to care a little bit more than was expected. So, she decided to call him on it.
"Why does it matter so much to you anyway?"
There was no hostility in her tone, but it had come out sharper than she'd intended. She observed the changes in his countenance - from scared, to evasive, to nervous, and then - nothing…completely emotionless.
"I don't know," he said evenly, throwing her words back at her and walking out of the café, leaving the situation quite unresolved.
Oh no, he was not going to get away with another triumphant exit after they had a disagreement, no sir, not in this lifetime. Sadly though, Haley couldn't leave the café as it was; she had to finish with the counter and she had to put away the cash wrap drawer and she had to lock up. By the time she had finished all said tasks, he had already driven off and was long gone - damn Keith for letting Lucas borrow that truck, just damn him.
It wasn't over, Haley decided, and she followed through on her plan of making the journey to his house; it wasn't like she didn't remember how or hadn't been there before. Besides, there was no way he was going to look at her like he did and act like he had and not have to explain himself - things just don't work that way, sorry.
Having reached the side door that led directly to his room, she knocked impatiently.
Within the confines of his bedroom, Lucas paced back and forth, his mind and emotions a wreck - he was definitely losing his nerve. He wasn't supposed to utter a single word about his -- internal revelations until the time was right, and now he'd almost spoiled everything…actually, given Haley and her sharpness he very well had spoiled everything. It was just - when it came to her, he couldn't fake how he felt. Before that had meant friendship - now it meant…
Oh, someone was knocking.
Timidly, he turned the knob and saw that it was indeed the very subject of his inner turmoil and deliberation come to confront him. Shit.
"Okay first of all, this little bad habit you seem to have with - storming off into the distance, or whatever, and not letting me say anything just - has to stop, and second…"
"Haley," he tried to interject, but she wouldn't hear of it.
"No! I am going - to say what I have to say and you are going to listen to every word of it Lucas, you know why…"
Lucas pulled Haley inside by the hand that was pointing straight at his face and closed the door behind her, almost regretting what he was about to do - but then again, not so much.
"Do you want to know why, because I said so! Yeah, that's right, I'm telling you th- "
Impulsively, he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her - yes, you read correctly, he kissed her - Lucas kissed Haley.
It's not like she had time to really protest or anything; she just held onto his forearms and let him kiss her without either of them really moving - almost frozen in time. It was a bit awkward, this having been her first real encounter of any nature - with anyone - let alone a guy she'd known since the age of bland, overly-processed and watered-down food that came in little glass jars. But suddenly, it didn't seem so bad.
Luckily for the both of them, Lucas remembered that humans needed to breathe, and he pulled his mouth away though he was still very much attached to her. They could both feel each other slightly heaving for air, as well as anything that came close to a reason for what had just taken place. She was positive that was the purest, simplest kiss she would ever get from anybody ever in life. He'd rendered her breathless, for crying out loud.
Picking up her previous train of thought, she continued,
"…or, you could just - kiss me - and completely change everything…"
He dropped his hands to her shoulders, keeping his forehead pressed against hers.
"Sorry," he managed…when he'd remembered how to talk, of course.
"That was…weird," she admitted.
"Yeah," he agreed.
Tentatively, she brought her mouth to his again, their tongues brushing against each other at a feather-light pace. The kiss was over as soon as it had started. She kept her eyes closed for a while, both of them licking their lips in hopes of tasting what had just been there.
"Better?"
"A little…why are we doing this again?"
"Uh…w-well, I, um…"
"Forget it I don't wanna know," she cut him off, standing on her toes and sliding her arms around his neck so she could kiss him more passionately, leaving Lucas to wind his arms around her waist and let her tongue do all the exploring it desired.
They'd probably talk about it later anyway.
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Alrighty everybody -- that's all for IFTTY! I hope you all enjoyed it. The sequel, "When All Else Fades" is already mostly written and mapped out and will hit ff.net shelves when…I have time. ;-)
Thanks to the reviewers:
turntable, amanda, i02heydude, wishingfairy637, Kay, jess, Hales, Sus-aka-Susie, Madj, MrSchimpf, Pluie Douce, jennycraig10, KiKi, and The Good Girl
You all's support means so much, I can't begin to describe, and I hope you review the next installment.
Namári
