We'll Always Remember
Author's Notes: Well we come to chapter five. It's been…somewhat of a break between updates, but what with juggling work, results day, more work and to top it all off, starting the sixth form – new courses, new subject, new teachers…things have kinda run away from me a bit! But having said that, this chapter was still pretty great to write, as you'll find out a bit lower (excuse my bias towards the character used – you just gotta love her!) But, enough of that. I'm going to keep this section short. Just one big thank you to the ever amazing Brooke – hehe you're such a sweetie, thank you for your help!! On and your services will be required again soon, just so you know – having a few inspiration problems! So read, enjoy…and I'd love to know your honest opinions, either by form or a review, or you can e-mail me on surrender_something@hotmail.com. Lastly – read the dedication below, it may not make sense to you, but it means a lot to me.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, the actors, the setting…all I own is the plot. That is entirely my creation – based around such wonderful characters obviously (hoping if I grovel the lovely people won't sue)
Characters: We're here. The infamous Susan Lewis chapter – written from the point-of-view of the best character in the show, in my humble opinion. Of course the focus is still on John Carter/Abby Lockhart so…don't despair. I'm combining my favourite character with my favourite couple and the results promise to be explosive!
Rating: I'm gonna go with PG-13, although at the moment it's probably only PG. Like I said, I have plans for this story…
Spoilers: Nothing after "The Letter"/"On The Beach". Forget all about the events of "Lockdown"/the whole of series 9.
Summary: the tale of a friendship progressing into something much more, told through a series of poignant firsts charting discoveries about each other, their relationship...and love.
Dedication: this chapter is dedicated to a very special person who I still can't believe is gone. She was an amazing friend throughout the three short years I knew her, and I couldn't think of a more fitting tribute than this – she'd have loved a chapter dedicated to her, she loved ER, and she loved Carter and Abby. But most of all, she loved life. Harriet, this is for you – to quote the title, we'll always remember you.
xxx
Chapter 5: She Shoots, She Scores
(Susan's POV)
I'm not really sure when I noticed it first. They've been clever about it; I'll give them that for starters. I can't begin to imagine how hard they've worked to achieve this very gradual change in their relationship, so that it's almost impossible to notice. They've always been friends; I knew that as soon as I came back to Chicago. I guess, deep down, I knew that something would happen eventually - there were too many sparks there for them to deny forever.
If I had to pinpoint the moment I was absolutely certain their relationship was about more than friendship, I guess it would be that day in Doc Magoo's. Now don't get me wrong, I know Carter and Abby have always had this tradition, something about coffee and pie. I don't know how it started, but I'm sure there's some hidden meaning that only they know about. So I'm never surprised to see them sharing a booth during a break or after their shifts, discussing the meaning of life over two cups of coffee.
Which is why I thought that day was no different. I was getting some coffees for Deb and I, as Weaver was too stingy to give us a decent break. I saw them sitting there, at a table littered with mugs of coffee and empty plates, which gave away the length of their visit. I was waiting for my order and, as you do, I started to people watch. The big fat guy shovelling what appeared to be his third main course into his mouth held my attention for a few seconds, and I only awarded a passing glance to the assortment of couples, friends and families having a leisurely lunch. Yeah, I was jealous of them because I had to return to the hellhole that masquerades under the name of County General.
But Carter and Abby caught my attention...I know I said I'm never surprised to see them there, but my mind was working overdrive at the time...and I noticed something that didn't quite make sense to me. Whenever Abby's telling a story, her hands play a big part. She'll gesture wildly or opt for waving her hands about aimlessly, but they're never still. As her friend I've had many a discussion with her, so I can tell you that for certain. She's just not capable of telling a story without both hands featuring in some way.
But not today. She was clearly telling a story, as Carter wasn't saying a lot. Her left hand was working overtime to further her points with some meaningful - or meaningless - hand gesture, to compensate for the fact that her right hand was perfectly still. A quick glance confirmed that her plate was empty, fork balanced in the centre, and her coffee cup was seated firmly on the table...no hands in sight there then. And then I realised. Her right hand was linked, ever so casually, with Carter's left hand.
It was actually quite a captivating sight. The simplicity of the gesture made me wonder firstly how long it had been going on, secondly whether I'd missed a truck-load of perfectly obvious signals that they were more than just friends, and thirdly exactly how far their relationship had progressed if they were simply holding hands, sitting on opposite sides of the table. Possibly that was simply for appearances sake - after all it took me long enough to notice the hand-holding. I guess that's what they had in mind.
I've kept it to myself for nearly a week now. There have been plenty of chances to question either Abby or Carter, find out the exact details of their relationship...but I wanted to give them the chance to tell me first. But the suspense is driving me crazy - and they're clearly in no hurry to tell anyone. God knows I've had enough time to observe their movements over the past week. It's amazingly obvious once you know what's going on.
If Carter needs a nurse, Abby's his first choice 100% of the time. Same goes for whenever Abby needs a doctor. Carter every time, without a doubt. I never noticed how often they ask people "seen Abby?" or "is Carter around?" Well...ask everyone but me that is. They avoid asking me unless it's absolutely necessary. I guess they knew I'd figure things out eventually. They just underestimated my detective skills. I said they were clever, but I never called them geniuses.
Their shifts coincide 99% of the time. The other 1% is made up of Weaver being in a foul mood and, for example, making Carter pull a double. Which puts them all out of sync. You almost gotta feel sorry for them...yeah, almost. No sympathy from this friend. They arrive together. They take breaks together. They leave together. Together as in walking through the doors together. And as soon as the doors close behind them, one will glance round to check for anyone they know, before he slips his arm round her shoulder as hers wraps itself round his waist...
Then there are the smouldering looks across the admin. desk. I don't know how I missed those. Funny. When you're not actively looking for something, it seems invisible. Not any more though. Carter's the worst. He can be having a conversation with someone, either in person or on the phone, supposedly concentrating on a chart...anything in fact, and his eyes will drift to Abby. She's guilty too of spending a little too much time gazing at him, but she's much subtler.
But now, their precious secret is precariously close to being uncovered, completely unbeknownst to them! And trust me, this is one task that I am going to enjoy greatly. The thing is, I'm not really too sure how to make her tell me. I mean, I know I could just ask her outright, but where's the fun in that? "Are you in a relationship with John Carter?" "Oh, yes" "Congratulations." Yup, right barrel of laughs that'd be. No, I want to make her sweat a little…
But how?
I honestly don't have a clue. And I don't admit that very often, trust me. But Abby…she's perceptive, to say the least. Very hard to hide things from…complete opposite to me, as we've just proved. But this…this has got to be good. It's got to be very good, in fact. Abby-proof.
No mean feat.
Hmm. Maybe I could accidentally bump into them at what they might consider a slightly inappropriate moment…pretending to be clueless. Or ask how Abby's love life is? Suggest to her that Carter may have a new girlfriend, watch her reaction…there are so many ways. But none of them seem to have that magic element I want. They'd all involve me coaxing it out of her, whereas I want to put her in the situation where she wants to tell me.
'You're looking way too serious to actually be reading that gossipy magazine' insert Abby…this could be very good timing on her part.
'It's all a cover-up Abby, all a cover-up. I'm actually reading an article on the conservation of South America's tropical rainforests' I deadpan, giving her what I hope is a controlled smirk. It works, rewarding me with a laugh as she heads over to her locker. I jump up and follow, leaning on the locker next to her. 'That is…if Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have anything whatsoever to do with the rainforests!'
'You idiot!' she teases good-naturedly, swinging the door to her locker open and reaching towards the back to retrieve something…knocking a piece of paper out in the process.
Now what's this? Abby having little folded pieces of paper tucked away in her locker, almost like…almost like those little love letters you used to send in high school. But…
No. Surely it's not Carter's style to be writing love letters…or is it? Maybe I've been underestimating the guy – after all we only dated for what, a couple of months, and that was hardly a love letter kind of relationship now, was it?
I bend down, literally moments quicker than Abby as I snatch the note off the floor.
'Passing notes in class again Abby? You know you could get in trouble for that.' She laughs, holding out a hand as if she expects me to simply hand over the note without even glancing at the contents. Hmm well…she's got another thing coming, hasn't she! What does she take me for, a gullible fool?
'Suusan!' she moans, seemingly preparing herself to put that wide-eyed gaze of hers to good use. Little does she know that I'm not falling for that one again. Lets not even go into what happened the last time I did…lets just say it resulted in a few rather interesting conversations, and many of my colleagues never being able to think of me in the same way again. Last time I let Abby guilt trip me into something, let me tell you that for starters.
'Uh-uh. Not like you to be so secretive about something…unless this is something I really don't want to read.' Oh I'm so enjoying this. She's just so easy to wrap around your little finger – I'll have her spilling all the gory details in a matter of minutes, trust me.
'You're going to make me tell you if I don't let you read it, so whatever I chose I'll lose, right?'
'Spot on Abby. So what's your choice? Either I read this and come to my own conclusions' I offer, waving the paper around in front of her, 'or we sit down over there and you tell Auntie Susan exactly what you're being all secretive about'
'Okay, okay, you win Susan, I'll tell' she decides, flopping down in a seat…resigned to her fate. Matter of minutes? Matter of seconds more like. Susan wins again…although she is pretty easy to crack!
'Soo what's the big secret?' I ask, placing the paper down in front of her…best to start off with a simple query, before I reveal how much I already know!
'Well it's barely anything really, I mean it's not exactly had time to develop properly – you can't call something a matter of weeks old a relationship, can you?' Aww, cute. She's going for the coy approach. If it weren't John Carter we were talking about, I'd almost say she was making a fool out of herself.
But then again, Abby and Carter are basically a pre-requisite. It's been so obvious to so many people for so long…guess they're a little slow though.
'Fess up Abby, our break's only going to last so long. We're talking about a relationship with who exactly?' I ask…oh she's just providing me with so many good opportunities. It'll make the shock all the better when I reveal that I've actually known about their relationship all along!
'Umm…would you believe me if I said John?' Ohh we're on first name terms now are we? This must be serious…not that I ever suspected it wasn't!
'John?' I ask, faking ignorance.
'Carter!' she expands, blushing a furious shade of red.
'You and Carter? Abby Lockhart and John Carter? The head nurse and the chief resident? I knew I was right – what other reason would you have to be holding hands in Doc Magoo's, after all?' she shoots, she scores.
'You…you evil person Susan!' Ahh, recognition dawning all over her face – such a good moment! 'You really do have a nasty streak, you know that right?' she asks, coming to her senses and snatching the offending love letter off the table before I get a chance to read it. Maybe she's not so slow after all.
'Oh I know Abby…isn't it great? Now c'mon, I want details. I want dates, times, locations, word for word renditions of your conversations…'
'So basically a blow-by-blow account?' she queries, shaking her head as she tries not to laugh. 'You've got absolutely no chance of that, let me tell you!' Damn. Worth a try anyway – I did already know Abby's a private person…subtle route it is then.
'Okay, okay, I'll settle for a few details' I persist, resting my head on my hands as I look at her…and the reddish hint that still lingers on her cheeks. 'How did it start?'
'You remember that massive thunderstorm a couple of weeks ago?' What's a thunderstorm got to do with their relationship? She'd better not be trying to change the subject again. Good thing I'm not as gullible as she is, hmm? Oops! I must have nodded, because she's talking again! '…A perfectly good reason for it, but I hate thunderstorms. So anyway…he came round and…' whoa! Is she saying what I think she's saying? That one thing led to another and…whoops. Think she's caught the expression on my face. 'Not in the way that you're thinking. If you must know, he was a complete gentleman. I guess I just needed someone in that moment and he was there.'
'So nothing actually happened?'
'Nothing that night' Wow. They have more self-control than I realised!
'So then what?'
'Well there was this night by the river, and we had this whole long talk about a bunch of stuff,' stuff? What sort of a word is stuff? I want details.
'What sort of stuff?'
'It's a whole other story. I'll tell you that some other time.' What's this, Abby actually wants to tell me now? This is a development. 'So we basically decided that we wanted to, I dunno, take things further…but that there was also a whole bunch of stuff that we, or mainly I, needed to sort out first. So we're just taking it kinda slow'
'Aww Abby! It's…it's you and Carter, it's just so right!'
'You think so?'
'Come on. You guys were meant to be. Everyone knew it!'
Hmm. Abby, acting all coy. That's a new one, for sure – I've never seen this side of her character before. Sarcastic Abby, slightly depressed Abby, even happy Abby…those are all responses that I'm prepared for. But this coyness…my God a relationship with John Carter really can scar you for life!
Oh no, wait, that was meant to be 'a relationship with John Carter really can bring out new sides of your personality!' Just a slight…slip of the tongue there, honest!
'So you're happy then?' simple question, guaranteed it won't be a simple answer.
'I guess…yeah. It's…things are good Susan, things are really good. I just really don't want this one to go wrong…so the taking things slowly works for me. He's been like my best friend for three years, its not something I'm going to throw away in a hurry'
Wow. Guess she's really committed. However there's one thing I've just got to find out. You know those things that just can't be left unsaid? Well this is one of them.
'Have you…you know, slept together yet?'
'Susan! Does the whole concept of taking things slowly mean absolutely nothing to you?' she queries, sitting up in her seat and looking at me almost incredulously.
'Okay that one's a no then!' I pause… 'You have kissed him right?' She nods, that blush creeping across her cheeks again. My God she is a teenager all over again. I stand up, aiming my coffee cup in the general direction of the trashcan.
'I can so see this getting sickening in a while. I mean, it's sweet and all but…just don't shove it in my face' I inform her teasingly, pausing to swing my stethoscope around my neck. 'However I wouldn't say no to regular updates on any big events…seeing as I am the first one to find out!'
'Basically you just want some gossip to add to the infamous County gossip train?' she asks, laughing. 'Speaking of that…you won't say anything about this will you? At least not for a while. I mean, to tell the truth I'm kinda happy that someone knows…I just don't think I'm ready for it to be common knowledge yet.' She stands up as well, walking over to the door before turning to look questioningly at me.
'Okay, okay. I won't tell anyone yet – I'll be the very soul of discretion. Just…keep the public displays of affection to a minimum, yeah? Unless you want more people to employ my amazing powers of deduction' I retort, laughing.
'What public displays of affection? We don't do public displays of…oh, you..!'
'One to me Abby! Although you might want to watch the hand holding, smouldering looks and little pointless conversations – I mean they were enough for me to guess…!' I catch her eye as we venture once more into the madness that is the ER…and we both laugh.
Sadly, it's enough to make the lovely Kerry Weaver notice that we're actually not using our time profitably and either seeing a patient or doing some charts, but are in fact having a private gossip session.
'Patients don't heal themselves, much as I'm sure you'd both appreciate that development in medical science…so as I believe we're not paying you to gossip, perhaps you'd care to make a start on clearing the board?'
'Yes Kerry' Abby deadpans, shooting me her very best sarcastic grin. I can't stop myself from laughing harder, although I have to force myself to regain some composure when Kerry rewards me with a glare.
'Whatever you say Kerry' I manage, watching as Abby does her very best to control her own giggles as we head over to the board. I lift a chart, waving it in front of her. 'Five-year-old who thought she could fly if she jumped off the bunk-bed suit you Abby?' I query, grinning.
'Suits me. She sounds kinda fun'
'There is a difference between fun and self-destructive!' I remind her, writing my initials next to the little girl's name on the board. And…there's no response from Abby on that. If I turn round, I wonder what I'll see?
Could've guessed. Abby leaning back against the counter, Carter standing on the other side of the desk, attempting to have a serious conversation with Gallant.
Her eyes on him, his eyes very much on her.
I guess some things never change, huh?
