Grandpa and Grandma
"Haman," Lilith approached me after one of our meetings, looking a little pale. "How many times before your release did Trinity visit the Oracle?"
I scanned my memory. "Only once," I replied, a feeling of melancholy creeping over me. The one about the One. "Why?"
"Because the Neb just requested to go to broadcast depth."
"Morpheus wants to take her?"
"No, she requested to meet Trinity," Lilith replied, pausing at each word for emphasis. The Oracle never requested a meeting, not even when she met me all those years ago.
"I have to go in and speak to her first," I replied, walking away. I had to find Demo, see if there were any disturbances in the code. Had something changed? Had we held her back too long?
"Old friend, you know as well as I do your trips into the Matrix ended the day Thomas Anderson was born," Lilith stepped in front of me, blocking me. She was, as usual, correct. One thing my failure as a Messiah taught me was that I should listen, and Lilith and Dillard were it seems my conscience.
"What if Trinity's not ready to here what the Oracle has to tell her?"
"Obviously the Oracle thinks she is. Stand back, Haman. We can advise now. That is all."
I swallowed the lump in my throat, suddenly humble. Fate had relegated me to a minor player in the drama about to unfold. I couldn't protect Trinity now, nor could I make the new Thomas Anderson do what I could not. All I could do now was advise, give hints, and hope. Believe.
"Any word from Demo on the new Thomas Anderson?" I asked, changing the subject.
Lilith gave a small smile, "Well, he's 34. No close attachments. On his computer for hours. Just the way Morpheus would like him. A couple of more years like this, he'll take a jar full of red pills."
"I just hope the Oracle knows what she is doing. Unplugging a 34 year-old..." I began, interrupted by Lilith laughing.
"You didn't do such a hot job being released at 11." She teased, patting my shoulder. Had to admit she had me there. Then a thought hit me.
"No close attachments? What about his parents? His sister Amanda?" I asked, mentally reminding myself to say his, not my.
"They died in a car crash nine years ago." Lilith said flatly, scanning my face for a reaction. I felt nauseous. While we always reminded ourselves it wasn't real, our Matrix lives, just our RSI's, I still remembered them. They were the cool parents - that's what my friends said anyway. My dad played modern rock on the guitar, or what was modern for that time. My mom was the one who let all the friends come over, made everyone feel right at home, and didn't complain about the mess. Christ, Amanda. Nine years ago. She would have only been 20.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, taking a sharp inhalation of breath.
"Haman, I didn't know how you'd react. There was so much going on. Trinity was released. You were battling so many demons I didn't want to add another."
She grabbed my shoulder, "For what its worth. I'm sorry. If its any consolation, it was quick."
I gave a quick nod, composing myself. "So, no girlfriends?"
Lilith chuckled, "It seems our Messiah isn't too big with the ladies. He spends most of his evenings with his computer."
I put on a surprised face, "You mean....I am a dork? Say it isn't so!"
We both laughed, "Afraid so. I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Trinity."
"Why?"
"All that frustration finally getting released? She'll have to be quite a woman to handle all that."
I just shook my head, smiling. "Maybe that'll make him appreciate her. Did Dillard give the O.K. to the Neb?
"Yes."
"Well then, it seems that Tommy's evenings with the computer will be ending soon."
When the Neb returned after Trinity's meeting with the Oracle, Morpheus came into my chambers. He was concerned for Trinity.
"She's gotten thinner. And so distracted. It's as if she is afraid of something," he confided. He had requested that Trinity stay in Zion while the rest of the crew returned to the ship. Trinity had made a careless mistake in the Matrix that almost cost she and Apoc their lives.
"Did they pump a virus into the system?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.
"Not that we can tell," Morpheus replied, shrugging. "Apoc, Switch, and Cypher are fine."
"Could it have been her meeting with the Oracle?" I queried. I always wondered if Trinity had told Morpheus her prophecy.
"I don't know. She hasn't told me what the Oracle said. But it did seem to start around that time."
"Maybe the old woman's baking skills aren't what they used to be." I joked. Morpheus smiled, but he was too concerned to laugh. I had never thought about how that prophecy affected Trinity, but now I could see it, from what Morpheus told me. She was afraid. Afraid of being exposed. Hurt. And damn me, I did it all. Maybe the Oracle was right having Morpheus find Neo later this time. Maybe those lonely nights by the computer would help him appreciate that love he would receive. Still, was a Trinity trained by Dillard able to love like my Trinity was?
"So, Morpheus? How is Niobe?" When I saw his reaction, I briefly wished that I could be in the Matrix so I could turn back time.
"We are no longer together. Not since the meeting with the Oracle."
Their relationship had been strained for awhile, that I did know. Niobe not being a believer in the quest that burned closest to his heart. Still, I was not prepared for what came next.
"She is with Lock now."
"You mean Deadbolt?!?!" I asked incredulously, once again feeling like an idiot. As a member of the council, I would not be privy to that nickname. Morpheus looked at me quizzically, and then chuckled. "The very same."
I made a mental note to tell Dillard. She would have a fit.
Dillard's POV
Out of all of the women who Haman freed, I was the only one unable to bear children. It's not that I didn't try. But heck, how many times can you fuck? Not that anyone of the younger generation would believe this, but the early days of Zion were filled with two thoughts – survival and reproduction. One was tough, one was fun., and I don't think anyone minded the latter Still, when the children started being born and my stomach remained smooth and flat, I felt depressed. Not that I wanted children, I felt like I had let down Haman. One thing I did not question, and that was I loved him. I loved him from the first, and his mission became my mission. And while it was obvious I couldn't serve that purpose by breeding, I became determined to enter the Matrix and fight our enemies.
Why did I love Haman? I don't know. Maybe it was because out of all the men I had been with, he was the only one who treated me like a lover. Not a slam piece. I don't blame them for their attitude. It was like a drunken frat party – screw as many as you could. Half the time people didn't even look for privacy, and you could walk over an oblivious couple mid-coitus and no one cared. There was no jealousy, you took as many partners as you could to try to increase your chances of conceiving. One the rare occasion we did actually reminisce, we just have to laugh at ourselves. How would the younger generation react to the thought of the illustrious counsel fucking like rabbits? Haman took me somewhere private, made sure that I felt pleasure. He didn't enter me right away, but caressed me, spoke to me. Our pace wasn't quick, but slow and gentle. My climax wasn't the quick one borne of lust, but deeper in my body. In my soul. I knew he didn't love me, his heart belonged to another. Still does, if you ask me. But I will never forget that when we were together, we were connected. Many years later, he confided in me that he never came to me again because he was afraid he would fall in love with me. After me, he turned to Lilith – someone who he liked but knew he could not love. The love I felt faded over time, but my respect for him never did. When I loved him, I made a vow that I would do whatever he needed of me. While I no longer love him, I keep that vow. He is frightened, I know that. The past is merging with his present, scaring the shit out of him. I will be there for him, give him my strength, and do whatever I have to do. So maybe it was divine providence that brought Trinity to me that day, for advice.
Because I also saw fear that day - fear in the face of Trinity.
"Trinity, keep your guard up!" I reminded her again that day. Trying to keep my temper, which for me is a big feat. What had gotten into this girl? She was 26, and she was worse then when she first came to me nine years ago. The prophecy had to be the reason. She would love Neo.
"I'm sorry Counselor Dillard," she responded, throwing down her sword in disgust. She was angry at herself, that I could tell. "After nine fucking years I should know what the hell I am doing!" In all the time I had trained her, I had never seen Trinity so angry with herself. She balled her hands into fists, pacing like a cat that let a mouse allude them. "Damn it!"
"Trinity, what the hell is with you?"
She stopped and looked me in the eyes. There was a storm brewing in there.
"Was it something the Oracle said to you?" I asked, putting my arm around her shoulders. I never liked that damn program. If she was so full of homespun goodness, why didn't she just tell us what to do?
Trinity didn't respond, but I did see her flinch. I had struck a nerve.
"Talk Trinity," I gave her shoulders a hug, "Being strong doesn't me you have to suffer in silence."
She gave me a quizzical look, and then a quick smile.
"Can I ask you a question, Counselor Dillard?"
"Yes?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
I gave a small smile. When you get older, younger people forget you have led a life before the wrinkles and the gray hair. "Yes, my dear. I have been. Part of me still is. Why do you ask?"
"What do you do......" she began, and then turned away.
"When you're in love?" My brows furrowed, trying to give the right answer. I knew what this girl's purpose was, and I had a feeling that she needed to hear the right things. "My girl, when you are in love you can do things you didn't know were possible. It makes you stronger than you can imagine."
"Stronger?" she asked in shock, her eyes opening wide.
"Trinity. Let me tell you something. When you truly love someone, completely and totally, their causes become your causes. But be sure it is reciprocated. Because when two people are in love they become like a stronger unit. Be his strength, he'll be yours." I punctuated my last words with taps from the sword we were sparring with.
She gave a small smile and a nod, as if considering my words.
"What do you have to give up when you are in love?" she asked, and I could tell this was important to her. I had heard the stories, as Haman had made us keep an ear on Trinity's life. Part of me felt it was stupid gossip, but now I could see why the others called her an ice princess. She tried to be so calm, controlled, never allow a vulnerability to show. That, I discovered early on, was more of a sign of weakness then anything else.
"For the person you love, you will be prepared to give everything and anything. Because without them, you do not exist. Truly allowing yourself to love another person is the ultimate strength. Not allowing yourself to love is the ultimate weakness." I gave her a sly smile, "Besides, regular sex does wonder for your battle skills."
The girl looked at me strangely, and then became hysterical laughing.
"Hope he's good." She choked out between chuckles, and I gave a smile.
"Trust me, he will be." She didn't have to know that I could say that from personal experience.
"Haman," Lilith approached me after one of our meetings, looking a little pale. "How many times before your release did Trinity visit the Oracle?"
I scanned my memory. "Only once," I replied, a feeling of melancholy creeping over me. The one about the One. "Why?"
"Because the Neb just requested to go to broadcast depth."
"Morpheus wants to take her?"
"No, she requested to meet Trinity," Lilith replied, pausing at each word for emphasis. The Oracle never requested a meeting, not even when she met me all those years ago.
"I have to go in and speak to her first," I replied, walking away. I had to find Demo, see if there were any disturbances in the code. Had something changed? Had we held her back too long?
"Old friend, you know as well as I do your trips into the Matrix ended the day Thomas Anderson was born," Lilith stepped in front of me, blocking me. She was, as usual, correct. One thing my failure as a Messiah taught me was that I should listen, and Lilith and Dillard were it seems my conscience.
"What if Trinity's not ready to here what the Oracle has to tell her?"
"Obviously the Oracle thinks she is. Stand back, Haman. We can advise now. That is all."
I swallowed the lump in my throat, suddenly humble. Fate had relegated me to a minor player in the drama about to unfold. I couldn't protect Trinity now, nor could I make the new Thomas Anderson do what I could not. All I could do now was advise, give hints, and hope. Believe.
"Any word from Demo on the new Thomas Anderson?" I asked, changing the subject.
Lilith gave a small smile, "Well, he's 34. No close attachments. On his computer for hours. Just the way Morpheus would like him. A couple of more years like this, he'll take a jar full of red pills."
"I just hope the Oracle knows what she is doing. Unplugging a 34 year-old..." I began, interrupted by Lilith laughing.
"You didn't do such a hot job being released at 11." She teased, patting my shoulder. Had to admit she had me there. Then a thought hit me.
"No close attachments? What about his parents? His sister Amanda?" I asked, mentally reminding myself to say his, not my.
"They died in a car crash nine years ago." Lilith said flatly, scanning my face for a reaction. I felt nauseous. While we always reminded ourselves it wasn't real, our Matrix lives, just our RSI's, I still remembered them. They were the cool parents - that's what my friends said anyway. My dad played modern rock on the guitar, or what was modern for that time. My mom was the one who let all the friends come over, made everyone feel right at home, and didn't complain about the mess. Christ, Amanda. Nine years ago. She would have only been 20.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, taking a sharp inhalation of breath.
"Haman, I didn't know how you'd react. There was so much going on. Trinity was released. You were battling so many demons I didn't want to add another."
She grabbed my shoulder, "For what its worth. I'm sorry. If its any consolation, it was quick."
I gave a quick nod, composing myself. "So, no girlfriends?"
Lilith chuckled, "It seems our Messiah isn't too big with the ladies. He spends most of his evenings with his computer."
I put on a surprised face, "You mean....I am a dork? Say it isn't so!"
We both laughed, "Afraid so. I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Trinity."
"Why?"
"All that frustration finally getting released? She'll have to be quite a woman to handle all that."
I just shook my head, smiling. "Maybe that'll make him appreciate her. Did Dillard give the O.K. to the Neb?
"Yes."
"Well then, it seems that Tommy's evenings with the computer will be ending soon."
When the Neb returned after Trinity's meeting with the Oracle, Morpheus came into my chambers. He was concerned for Trinity.
"She's gotten thinner. And so distracted. It's as if she is afraid of something," he confided. He had requested that Trinity stay in Zion while the rest of the crew returned to the ship. Trinity had made a careless mistake in the Matrix that almost cost she and Apoc their lives.
"Did they pump a virus into the system?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.
"Not that we can tell," Morpheus replied, shrugging. "Apoc, Switch, and Cypher are fine."
"Could it have been her meeting with the Oracle?" I queried. I always wondered if Trinity had told Morpheus her prophecy.
"I don't know. She hasn't told me what the Oracle said. But it did seem to start around that time."
"Maybe the old woman's baking skills aren't what they used to be." I joked. Morpheus smiled, but he was too concerned to laugh. I had never thought about how that prophecy affected Trinity, but now I could see it, from what Morpheus told me. She was afraid. Afraid of being exposed. Hurt. And damn me, I did it all. Maybe the Oracle was right having Morpheus find Neo later this time. Maybe those lonely nights by the computer would help him appreciate that love he would receive. Still, was a Trinity trained by Dillard able to love like my Trinity was?
"So, Morpheus? How is Niobe?" When I saw his reaction, I briefly wished that I could be in the Matrix so I could turn back time.
"We are no longer together. Not since the meeting with the Oracle."
Their relationship had been strained for awhile, that I did know. Niobe not being a believer in the quest that burned closest to his heart. Still, I was not prepared for what came next.
"She is with Lock now."
"You mean Deadbolt?!?!" I asked incredulously, once again feeling like an idiot. As a member of the council, I would not be privy to that nickname. Morpheus looked at me quizzically, and then chuckled. "The very same."
I made a mental note to tell Dillard. She would have a fit.
Dillard's POV
Out of all of the women who Haman freed, I was the only one unable to bear children. It's not that I didn't try. But heck, how many times can you fuck? Not that anyone of the younger generation would believe this, but the early days of Zion were filled with two thoughts – survival and reproduction. One was tough, one was fun., and I don't think anyone minded the latter Still, when the children started being born and my stomach remained smooth and flat, I felt depressed. Not that I wanted children, I felt like I had let down Haman. One thing I did not question, and that was I loved him. I loved him from the first, and his mission became my mission. And while it was obvious I couldn't serve that purpose by breeding, I became determined to enter the Matrix and fight our enemies.
Why did I love Haman? I don't know. Maybe it was because out of all the men I had been with, he was the only one who treated me like a lover. Not a slam piece. I don't blame them for their attitude. It was like a drunken frat party – screw as many as you could. Half the time people didn't even look for privacy, and you could walk over an oblivious couple mid-coitus and no one cared. There was no jealousy, you took as many partners as you could to try to increase your chances of conceiving. One the rare occasion we did actually reminisce, we just have to laugh at ourselves. How would the younger generation react to the thought of the illustrious counsel fucking like rabbits? Haman took me somewhere private, made sure that I felt pleasure. He didn't enter me right away, but caressed me, spoke to me. Our pace wasn't quick, but slow and gentle. My climax wasn't the quick one borne of lust, but deeper in my body. In my soul. I knew he didn't love me, his heart belonged to another. Still does, if you ask me. But I will never forget that when we were together, we were connected. Many years later, he confided in me that he never came to me again because he was afraid he would fall in love with me. After me, he turned to Lilith – someone who he liked but knew he could not love. The love I felt faded over time, but my respect for him never did. When I loved him, I made a vow that I would do whatever he needed of me. While I no longer love him, I keep that vow. He is frightened, I know that. The past is merging with his present, scaring the shit out of him. I will be there for him, give him my strength, and do whatever I have to do. So maybe it was divine providence that brought Trinity to me that day, for advice.
Because I also saw fear that day - fear in the face of Trinity.
"Trinity, keep your guard up!" I reminded her again that day. Trying to keep my temper, which for me is a big feat. What had gotten into this girl? She was 26, and she was worse then when she first came to me nine years ago. The prophecy had to be the reason. She would love Neo.
"I'm sorry Counselor Dillard," she responded, throwing down her sword in disgust. She was angry at herself, that I could tell. "After nine fucking years I should know what the hell I am doing!" In all the time I had trained her, I had never seen Trinity so angry with herself. She balled her hands into fists, pacing like a cat that let a mouse allude them. "Damn it!"
"Trinity, what the hell is with you?"
She stopped and looked me in the eyes. There was a storm brewing in there.
"Was it something the Oracle said to you?" I asked, putting my arm around her shoulders. I never liked that damn program. If she was so full of homespun goodness, why didn't she just tell us what to do?
Trinity didn't respond, but I did see her flinch. I had struck a nerve.
"Talk Trinity," I gave her shoulders a hug, "Being strong doesn't me you have to suffer in silence."
She gave me a quizzical look, and then a quick smile.
"Can I ask you a question, Counselor Dillard?"
"Yes?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
I gave a small smile. When you get older, younger people forget you have led a life before the wrinkles and the gray hair. "Yes, my dear. I have been. Part of me still is. Why do you ask?"
"What do you do......" she began, and then turned away.
"When you're in love?" My brows furrowed, trying to give the right answer. I knew what this girl's purpose was, and I had a feeling that she needed to hear the right things. "My girl, when you are in love you can do things you didn't know were possible. It makes you stronger than you can imagine."
"Stronger?" she asked in shock, her eyes opening wide.
"Trinity. Let me tell you something. When you truly love someone, completely and totally, their causes become your causes. But be sure it is reciprocated. Because when two people are in love they become like a stronger unit. Be his strength, he'll be yours." I punctuated my last words with taps from the sword we were sparring with.
She gave a small smile and a nod, as if considering my words.
"What do you have to give up when you are in love?" she asked, and I could tell this was important to her. I had heard the stories, as Haman had made us keep an ear on Trinity's life. Part of me felt it was stupid gossip, but now I could see why the others called her an ice princess. She tried to be so calm, controlled, never allow a vulnerability to show. That, I discovered early on, was more of a sign of weakness then anything else.
"For the person you love, you will be prepared to give everything and anything. Because without them, you do not exist. Truly allowing yourself to love another person is the ultimate strength. Not allowing yourself to love is the ultimate weakness." I gave her a sly smile, "Besides, regular sex does wonder for your battle skills."
The girl looked at me strangely, and then became hysterical laughing.
"Hope he's good." She choked out between chuckles, and I gave a smile.
"Trust me, he will be." She didn't have to know that I could say that from personal experience.
