Disclaimer: I still don't own any LoTR peoples. Or the HoJo's. Or SheerBlonde. Warning: Contrary to the 1st chapter, I wrote this at like 6am... so it is still really random and im not responsible for it. Normally I don't write stuff this retarded just for the record, but 5of my No Doubt cds are scratched so I am having no doubt withdrawel and im going crazy! ^_^

Chap 2

Gandalf kicked back in a bubbling jaccuzi that was installed in his private hotel room. After the bus ride, the gang felt that they needed to relax so the lot of them had booked rooms in the Middle Earth Howard Johnson. He was wearing a blue speedo that said Magic! on it, which Sauruman had given him last Christmas, so feeling a little wild and crazy, decided to steal the comlimentary soaps etc. He grabbed a bottle of shampoo to stuff in his towel. It said: CRAPPY HOTEL SHAMPOO. FREE. MAKES HAIR CLEAN. He shrugged and decided that it wasn't worth it. Then suddenly a light shone from the cabinet under the sink, and he yanked it open to reveal an empty bottle of Sheer Blonde Shampoo, with a picture of a blonde model on the front. It read: SHEER BLONDE; FOR HILIGHTED, COLOR TREATED, AND NATURAL BLONDES. MAKES HAIR SILKY AND SHINY AND PRETTY AND SEXY AND HOLLYWOOD BLONDE. EXPENSIVE BUT WORTH IT. Gandalf looked sadly at his grey, withering beard and a though struck him. Grabbing the phone that rested above the toilet, which he still did not understand, he dialed room service.
"Hello, yes, I would like some Sheer Blonde shampoos and conditioner. Room 555. Yes, Gandalf. Yes, I use shampoo! Yes, I'm naturally blonde! Alright just bring me the damn stuff will you?" with that he slammed the phone down. Cackling at his own rudeness, he sat back to wait for room service. He was not prepared for the door to suddenly be broken down and two short hairy figures to shoot into his room. Merry and Pippin bolted inside and hid behind Gandalf's massive bed. Eowyn ran in after them, her face red, screaming.
"MERRY AND PIPPIN! YOU GIVE ME THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" she lunged at the bed and fell, while Merry and Pippin darted into the bathroom.
"HoJos! HoJos! We love the HoJos!" they chanted.
"Whoa hey there Gandalf," Merry suddenly said.
"You're wearing a banana hammock," Pippin piped up.
"What's all this commotion!?" he said as Eowyn appeared in the doorway, gasping and covering her eyes.
"They stole my-"she started, and then dropped off. Merry and Pippin just started cackling.
"You're what? Speak up woman!" Gandalf said, growing impatient.
"My—"
"Oh for God's sake," he said, and snatched the thing out of Pippin's hands. It was a pair of pink underwear, with the words 'Estel' and 'Aragorn' written all over it with little socks. Eowyn had turned bright red and was looking hopelessly at Gandalf.
"Eowyn, that is just sad. You write on your underwear. Take this and get out!" Gandalf said throwing at her. Pippin caught it in midair again, and ran out the door.
"Pippin!!!!" Eowyn called behind him as Merry laughed evilly.

Pippin ran down the hotel hallways, kicking up the carpets as he went. He rounded the corner near the soda machine, and ran smack into...Faramir and Wormtongue. "Hey Pip! Whats that you got there?" "Erm nothing just um something that you er wouldn't appreciate." Wormtongue peered closely at the underwear under Pippin's arm. "Is that underwear? It is! Wow that looks a lot like a pair that Eowyn has." Pippin and Faramir just stared O.o "When we were in Rohan I had plenty of spare time to rummage through her room," he explained, and Faramir gave him an 'oh I see' kind of look. Pippin just stared. "Oh wow. I will leave you two alone," he said, but before he could get away, a hand grabbed his neck. Eowyn had been sneaking up on him silently, and she grabbed the underwear, trying to rip it from his grimy little hands. "Gimme!" "No!" "Gimmie!" "No! Stoppit!" "It's MY underwear!!" "I'll tell Strider!" he screamed, and she let go, giving him an evil look. "Dear, do you want us to confiscate this hobbit?" Faramir and Wormtongue both said. Eowyn nodded in exasperation. Faramir drew a knife and the horn of Gondor, which he had put back together with duct tape. Pippin's eyes bugged out and he ran away, but not before Eowyn ripped her underoos out from his fingers, and since Faramir was after him he had no time to get it back. She walked away in satisfaction and headed to her room, where Sam was waiting so they could girl talk.

Sam sat dejectedly in Eowyn's room, watching Oprah, waiting for her to return. Eowyn was the only person that would understand his predicament with Frodo. She was the only one that knew how he felt about him, and she had been about to give him advice when Merry and Pippin showed up and grabbed her underwear. He shook his head. Strange situation indeed. At any case, there was a knock at the door, and then he heard it open. Suddenly Frodo's voice came from around the corner. "Eowyn? Eowyyyyn..." he gasped when he saw Sam. "Sam! Ack!" "What are you doing here Mr. Frodo?" "Erm, Eowyn wanted me to try some of her casserole." Sam's eyes lit up at the mention of casserole, which was secretly a code for 'hit on frodo'. "Well just lie down here Mr Frodo and I will get you a slice, she keeps it in the mini-fridge." Frodo looked suspiciously at Sam and lay down. Sam lunged for the other side and ended up on top of Frodo. "Sam?" "Oh gosh I'm sorry, I meant to make it all the way across so I could reach the fridge... oops." "Yeah, oops. Now get off." Sam pretended to try to do a push up off of Frodo, but then fell again. "Oh, damn, I can't seem to move. We will just have to wait until Eowyn gets here to help me off. Too bad." Frodo groaned.

As Eowyn walked towards her room, 558, she remembered Sam's situation. Poor Sam! She hoped that he could end up happily with Frodo. It was like her and Aragorn! .....well sort of. She liked Aragorn, Aragorn liked Arwen. Sam liked Frodo, Frodo liked the ring. Arwen was kind of like the ring... maybe Eowyn could throw her in mount doom. Mwahahaha! Mwaha! Hahahamwaha. She walked into her room and heard two people talking. Suspicious. She saw Sam on top of someone... Frodo?? "Wait to go Sam!" she cheered. "Frodo, I'm glad to see that you embraced your inner gay man. Later!" she decided to leave. "No Eowyn! WAAAIT!" Frodo wailed. But she was gone. Suddenly she was sad. Not fair! Sam was happy and she wasn't! Well she should be happy for Sam. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. Don't be sad. Suddenly she saw Sauruman and Theodon playing poker, wearing old-man poker clothes and she felt sick to her stomach. "O god." Then she heard a sudden screech that made all the windows fall out. 10 rabid fangirls attacked the elevator, which Legolas was presently stepping out of. This sent Eowyn over the edge, because deep down she was in love with Legolas because everyone is deep deep down, even the un- mainstream kids. Except Marissa Herzog. Anyway. So she ran up to him and kissed him to make the fangirls disperse. They just glared, and one of them kicked her. Legolas looked confused. "Legolas! I'm lost. What should I do?" "Dotdotdot..." "About Aragorn! And Arwen..." "Well, you must look deep down inside your heart and do what it tells you. Listen to the rippling waters of Lorien in your head, and" "I've never been to Lorien." "Shut up don't ruin the moment! And the whispering wind of, um, Rohan, and the lapping waves upon the shore of..well the ocean... and the answer will come to you." Eowyn looked confued. The fangirls all sighed dreamily. "What?" "What do you mean what?" "Well does that mean I should go try to do something?" "Sure." "But what if it doesn't work out?" "Be optimistic. Life's a bowl of cherries." "What if you don't LIKE cherries??" "Well then the world is your oyster." "But oysters are stupid crustaceans that sit around and do nothing!!!!" "THEN SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING YOU CRUSTACEAN!!" the fangirls all gasped in horror. "I mean... heh heh... look into your soul and ask yourself, do I really want to be a crustacean for the rest of my life?" The fangirls sighed again. "No..." "Okay then! Have at him." "Um... okay..." "Now run along, I need to converse with my fangirls." "Okay..." the fangirls automatically flocked around him as soon as Eowyn, rather puzzled, walked away toward's Aragorn's room.

Aragorn was stretched out on his king-sized bed, while Arwen blowdried her hair. "Arry, you're sure that that horrible girl won't bother us?" she asked from the bathroom. "Yeah I'm sure. I had Gandalf put us a floor apart." Arwen immerged from the bathroom, and walked over to sit next to Aragorn. "This is a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really 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"...really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY big bed," Arwen finally finished. "Yes, it is. It really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really" "Arry stop, that gets really annoying after a while." "..really is." "Yeah." "It's king sized...for a king!" Aragorn laughed at his own stupid joke. "Well the bigger the better," Arwen said in what Aragorn thought was a seductive manner, and leaned in to kiss him. Just as she touched his lips there was a massive knock on the door. Aragorn rolled his eyes and went over to open the door. Eowyn was standing there biting her nails, looking like a girl scout that came to deliver cookies. "What are you doing here???" he asked angrily. The speech she had prepared rushed out of her head. "Uhh...I need to stay here tonight. Sam and Frodo are...using... my room." "No." "PLEEASE! Oh Aragorn yougottaletmestayotherwiseiwillhavetosleepinthehallandiwillgetkickedoutandth eniwontbeabletogoontherestoftheroadtripandmyunclewillbeallaloneanduncaredfor and..." "I think Sauruman is taking good enough care of him," Aragorn noted to himself. "Yeahbuthereallyneedsmeandireeeeeeeeeallywannagocomeonpleasecanipleaspleasep lasestayherearagornpleaseyouhavetoletmeotherwiseeomerwillsendtheridersofroha nafteryouandthatwouldbesadsoplease!!!!!!!" "Grrr...fine. But you have to-" "Great!" she said bubbly, and skipped into the room. "I'm tired, lets go to bed. It's pretty late." "Um... fine. Why don't you take a cot into the hallway? Arwen and I um aren't going to bed...yet..." "No, I think I'll just stay here," she said, and jumped into the bed in between Arwen and Aragorn. "I mean the bed's big enough, isn't it? What would you need a bed so big for?" Aragorn gave her a weird look. "Don't answer that. Well anyway, goodnight!" Eowyn silently cheered. She had managed to get in bed with Aragorn! It wasn't quite as she had expected...but close enough! MWAHAHAHAHA

This chapter wasn't supposed to happen but I kind of had the urge to write it so if I have another pathetic moment real early in the morning than I will write another chapter... or if reviewer people want more... yeah. HALLO ALL YOU LAMBS! ~fay from anaheim~ Anaheim rocks baby!

The Lady Ellesar: thx im glad u thought it was funny! Btw awsum name!! (

Totally-sara: hahah im glad you liketh

Dark Triforce: so you get what im dealing with! My friends have very very odd sences of humor! Lol but its mostly being awake at 6 am... :-P

Rhianna Sulumae: muchos gracias! The casserole/asshole thing was actually from that movie Stealing Harvard... such a dumb movie but still kinda funny!