Standing At The Edge

Disclaimer:  All character belong to Tolkien.

                I stand and look out over the rolling hills. I can scarce believe only a few short months ago one of the greatest battles of this age was fought on the rolling green before me. But then I can scarce believe tomorrow my daughter will be its queen.  I feel a bit like Thingol. I gave the young mortal a quest I thought he could never fulfill for the hand of my daughter. And like Beren before him he succeeded. And like Luthien she gave her grace for a life to match his. I still find it ironic that she will bear the same fate as the one she so closely resembles. I only pray my fate will not be the same as her father's, smote in my own halls. But then, I was not so foolhardy to ask for a cursed jewel.  I only asked for a kingdom.

 My Estel.  My battles with him are over now. I cannot even remember how I grew so distant from the man I once thought of as a son. He became the man he is now in my halls. And as a father I must say I am very proud of him. As the father of his bride, however... But would any man, mortal or immortal, ever be good enough for my Arwen? No, I don't think so.  I still remember when I was told Celebrian was with child. We were in Lorien. Lord Celeborn came to me. He and I stood looking over the trees and he clapped me on the shoulder and said, 'we feel as if we truly are great lords. And we love our queens and we admire them. But we never truly realize how quickly they can bring us to our knees until they hand us the children they have borne us. Only then do we feel the true power they wield over our hearts. Only then do we know how weak they can make us.'  And I agreed completely. I never imagined I could feel more humbled and insignificant than when I was handed my sons. But when the tiny bundle that was my daughter was placed in my hands… I knew from that day on my world would begin and end with her. Even when Celebrian was injured and sailed across the sea I knew all would be well because Arwen was still there. And in time her grief healed and her laughter again filled the halls of Imlardris.

I can hear her coming from the citadel behind me. But I also hear the commotion on the stairs. Those sounds follow my sons constantly. Since the moment they came into this world they have filled it with a cacophony of sounds. In their younger days it was often curses that followed their antics. But I remember those times. Had Elros and I not been terrors in our own right? How fitting that my children should take after me. I do not need to turn to see how they greet her. Their baby sister. Elrohir drops his effects to the ground and scoops her up in a hug pressing a kiss to her cheek. He has always been the more impetuous of the two. Elladan waits his turn quietly. Soon enough he wraps her in his arms as well pressing a kiss to her forehead. Ever the quieter, more reserved twin. She should see the gleam in their eyes. She should know better than to forget exactly who her brothers are. With a look her fate is sealed. Elladan holds her arms while Elrohir grabs her feet and in unison the pair makes for the edge of the citadel meaning to dump her over the edge. She giggles and screams and squeals as they pretend to throw her over but stop just in time.  She had become accustomed to their tricks over the years. They put her down on the flagstones and she pushes them each in mock anger. It is a play I have seen carried out many times and I don't need to see now it to know it goes on. She has seen me now though. Soon I feel her arms come around my waist as she leans into my side. I put an arm around her shoulder and hold her for a moment.  "I'm sorry, Ada." She whispers. I know what she apologizes for. For giving up her immortal life. For never being able to see the shores of Valionr. For marrying a mortal ranger. "You have nothing to apologize for, Arwen." I kiss the top of her head. We stand like that for a great while looking over the Pelennor fields. She knows our people's time is coming to an end. She knows soon I will take Vilya and sail to the west. And all too soon her time will come to fade from this land. Though I have the gift of sight, when she was born I would not use it. I could not bear to have any knowledge of mine cloud her life. Now she and I both know that is the only place I will see my grandchildren. We stood there until the sun began to peak over the horizon. Then she silently took her leave.

In the morning I stood in the crowed and watched my only daughter's marriage and coronation. She looked so beautiful standing there. I see so much love in both their eyes for each other. I know he will treat her as she deserves. Her brothers strand near the front bowing respectfully to their sister the newly crowned queen of Gondor and her king, the man who had been as a brother to them. In this moment I wish Celebrian could be here to see this. To see what her children had come to be. Her brave sons, her regal daughter.  It pains me to know she will never see Arwen as the maiden she has become. And soon enough I will bear her the news that our daughter has chosen the same fate as Luthien Tinuviel. I only take comfort that the twins have promised to cross the sea when the time comes. Our line is gifted with the right to choose and they have sworn to sail to the west when they tire of this land.

They stop before me now and I bow my head slightly in respect. She steps foreword and embraces me. I see in his eyes he wishes he could do the same but it would not be proper. I whisper soothing words to her and they continue on. That night after the festivities have subsided I stand again at the edge of the city. He joins me there. I stand beside the great king in silence. Neither of us needs words. I look over at him the growing twilight. I tell him the same thing Celeborn told me when I discovered Arwen was to be born. He looks at me curiously. 'I tell you this now,' I say, 'because I will not be here to tell you when she bears you a child.' He nods and I see a glimmer of unshed tears in his eyes. I lay a hand on his shoulder as I turn to leave. 'You will be one of the great kings, Estel. I have seen it.' He nods and does not stop me as I leave the city.