Hey everybody! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Life's been
crazy (as always). I'm glad you're all enjoying my fic though.
Author's Notes – Sorry if the last chapter was confusing, I'll try my best not to let that happen anymore. Ha, also someone mentioned in a review that the title of this fic reminds them of those Gap ads from Christmas...well there's a reason for that. When I started this fic, I had the hardest time coming up with a title, and I heard that song on TV, and that's where I got the title.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!
This chapter is from Carter's POV.
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they never will be. : (
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I woke up expecting her to be right where she was when I fell asleep. Next to me, wrapped in my arms. She wasn't though. I should've known better. I should have known she wouldn't be there. I looked over at the clock. It was 9:00. Abby was probably home now. I picked up the phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?" Susan answered.
"Hey Susan, is Abby there?"
"No I haven't seen her all morning, I figured she was with you."
"Well if she shows up, tell her to call me." I say hanging up the phone. I get dressed because I have an idea where she might be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I saw her sitting on the bench next to the river. It used to be our spot. I used to come here a lot when I first came back from Africa and she was gone. Then it just got too painful, and I stopped coming. To be honest, I hadn't been to this spot for almost fifteen years.
"You could've left a note." I said, sitting down next to her.
"What are you doing here?" She didn't turn to look at me. She just stared straight ahead.
"I was looking for you. Why did you leave?"
"I needed time to think"
"About last night?" She nodded.
"Carter I...I think last night was a mistake."
"What? Abby, you...you told me you wanted it to happen. You told me you loved me." I saw a tear fall down her face. I reached up to wipe it away, but she pushed my hand away.
"I do love you Carter, but it's just...too complicated. When we were together before, we hurt eachother so much. Now we have a daughter to think about."
"She's a big girl, if for some reason things didn't work out, she could handle it. Abby two people who love eachother should be together."
She shook her head. "Not when those two people are us. We just...we bring so much pain to eachother."
"Abby that was before. When Gamma had died, and when you were dealing with Eric and Maggie. So many things have changed since then. We've changed. We can be together without all of those obstacles in our way."
"It's not that easy John! We can't just rush back into this. I can't let you break my heart again. I can't watch you walk out on me again."
"I won't Abby! I'm not going anywhere."
"Like I haven't heard that before. Remember the first time you told me that? When I was dealing with Eric, you told me that I could count on you, that you weren't going anywhere. Then you left."
"Abby..."
"No...we can't be together. That's just the way it has to be."
"I sure wish you would have told me this before I slept with you, and told you I loved you. I put my heart on the line for you lastnight because I thought you wanted the same things I did. I thought you wanted to be with me, and I thought you wanted for you, me, and Christina to all be a family. I thought you had changed. I thought you stopped being so afraid to let me in."
"I'm not afraid to let you in! I'm just trying to protect myself, and my daughter from getting hurt."
"Fine. If this is the way you want things to be then we won't be together, but I'll be damned if you bring my daughter into my life, just to take her away from me."
I got up and walked away. There wasn't anything left to say, so there was no point in staying there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been almost a week since Abby and I had our talk by the river. We didn't speak much, except when we were at work, or when I came over to pick up Christina so we could spend some time together.
I knocked on the door to the house they shared with Susan. The door flew open and Christina stood in the doorway. "Hey dad." She moved out of the way and let me in. I looked around for Abby.
"She's at work"
"Who?"
"Mom"
I nodded. "So, what do want to do today?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"It's really nice out, lets go for a walk."
We walked out of the house and into the cool, spring air. "So dad, what's going on with you and mom? Why are you two acting so strange?"
Wow, I thought the mom's were suppose to get all the tough questions. Where do I start? "Well...it's a long story."
"We've got time." She's not backing down.
"Look, you're 16, you're mature, so I'm just going to be straight forward with you."
"Good, it'd be nice to hear the truth."
"Abby and I slept together about a week ago, and she told me she loved me, but the next morning she told me that we couldn't be together."
"Why did she tell you that the two of you, couldn't be together?"
"Well I guess what it all comes down to, is she's afraid of getting hurt again."
"Ugh, why does she have to do this? Why can't she just be happy and in love?"
I shrugged. "I wish I knew."
"I wish you could see how much she's changed since she left here." We ended up walking to the river. She sat down on the bench that Abby and I had argued on, nearly a week ago. Her brown hair blew in the wind, and I noticed just how much she looked like her mother. Aside from a few traits she'd gotten from me, she was a spitting image of Abby. I sat down next to her. She looked over at me and continued talking. "She quit drinking and smoking the minute she found out she was pregnant with me. She hasn't picked up a drink or a cigarette since. She's more open about her feelings too. Except when it comes to you."
"She's the person I always knew she could be."
"After Antonio died, grandma and aunt Susan were afraid mom would start drinking again." She laughed a little. "Everytime she had a drink in her hand, someone would always ask her what it was. She got really annoyed, but you know, she stayed strong. She was sad for a long, long time, but she didn't let it get her down. She sort of shocked everyone with that."
I guess I hadn't realized just how much Abby had changed. When she told me we couldn't be together, I just thought it was almost...typical of her. It never occurred to me that she was just trying to protect herself. She's obviously been through a lot the past sixteen years.
"Dad, I think that you should try to talk to her again. It's been a week, she's had time to think about everything that happened."
"I don't know...I think maybe I should give her some more time."
Christina sighed. "I'm sorry, I think I'm being selfish. It's just I've always wanted a family. I mean, sure I grew up with all these great people, but I wanted a real family. Complete with two parents, who don't have two separate lives."
"Christie, that's not selfish. I want to be able to give you that family. I know what it's like to grow up and not really have both of your parents around."
"I just want you to know, that I'll be alright if you and mom can't work things out. Every kid dreams of the perfect family, but sometimes that's all it is; a dream. If things don't work out, I'll understand. At least I'll still have two parents, you know? Even if were not a family."
I pulled my daughter into my arms and kissed her on top of her head. She was amazing. I don't know how I got to be so lucky. Even if Abby and I don't work out, I'll always have a part of us.
Author's Notes – Sorry if the last chapter was confusing, I'll try my best not to let that happen anymore. Ha, also someone mentioned in a review that the title of this fic reminds them of those Gap ads from Christmas...well there's a reason for that. When I started this fic, I had the hardest time coming up with a title, and I heard that song on TV, and that's where I got the title.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!
This chapter is from Carter's POV.
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they never will be. : (
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up expecting her to be right where she was when I fell asleep. Next to me, wrapped in my arms. She wasn't though. I should've known better. I should have known she wouldn't be there. I looked over at the clock. It was 9:00. Abby was probably home now. I picked up the phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?" Susan answered.
"Hey Susan, is Abby there?"
"No I haven't seen her all morning, I figured she was with you."
"Well if she shows up, tell her to call me." I say hanging up the phone. I get dressed because I have an idea where she might be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I saw her sitting on the bench next to the river. It used to be our spot. I used to come here a lot when I first came back from Africa and she was gone. Then it just got too painful, and I stopped coming. To be honest, I hadn't been to this spot for almost fifteen years.
"You could've left a note." I said, sitting down next to her.
"What are you doing here?" She didn't turn to look at me. She just stared straight ahead.
"I was looking for you. Why did you leave?"
"I needed time to think"
"About last night?" She nodded.
"Carter I...I think last night was a mistake."
"What? Abby, you...you told me you wanted it to happen. You told me you loved me." I saw a tear fall down her face. I reached up to wipe it away, but she pushed my hand away.
"I do love you Carter, but it's just...too complicated. When we were together before, we hurt eachother so much. Now we have a daughter to think about."
"She's a big girl, if for some reason things didn't work out, she could handle it. Abby two people who love eachother should be together."
She shook her head. "Not when those two people are us. We just...we bring so much pain to eachother."
"Abby that was before. When Gamma had died, and when you were dealing with Eric and Maggie. So many things have changed since then. We've changed. We can be together without all of those obstacles in our way."
"It's not that easy John! We can't just rush back into this. I can't let you break my heart again. I can't watch you walk out on me again."
"I won't Abby! I'm not going anywhere."
"Like I haven't heard that before. Remember the first time you told me that? When I was dealing with Eric, you told me that I could count on you, that you weren't going anywhere. Then you left."
"Abby..."
"No...we can't be together. That's just the way it has to be."
"I sure wish you would have told me this before I slept with you, and told you I loved you. I put my heart on the line for you lastnight because I thought you wanted the same things I did. I thought you wanted to be with me, and I thought you wanted for you, me, and Christina to all be a family. I thought you had changed. I thought you stopped being so afraid to let me in."
"I'm not afraid to let you in! I'm just trying to protect myself, and my daughter from getting hurt."
"Fine. If this is the way you want things to be then we won't be together, but I'll be damned if you bring my daughter into my life, just to take her away from me."
I got up and walked away. There wasn't anything left to say, so there was no point in staying there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been almost a week since Abby and I had our talk by the river. We didn't speak much, except when we were at work, or when I came over to pick up Christina so we could spend some time together.
I knocked on the door to the house they shared with Susan. The door flew open and Christina stood in the doorway. "Hey dad." She moved out of the way and let me in. I looked around for Abby.
"She's at work"
"Who?"
"Mom"
I nodded. "So, what do want to do today?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"It's really nice out, lets go for a walk."
We walked out of the house and into the cool, spring air. "So dad, what's going on with you and mom? Why are you two acting so strange?"
Wow, I thought the mom's were suppose to get all the tough questions. Where do I start? "Well...it's a long story."
"We've got time." She's not backing down.
"Look, you're 16, you're mature, so I'm just going to be straight forward with you."
"Good, it'd be nice to hear the truth."
"Abby and I slept together about a week ago, and she told me she loved me, but the next morning she told me that we couldn't be together."
"Why did she tell you that the two of you, couldn't be together?"
"Well I guess what it all comes down to, is she's afraid of getting hurt again."
"Ugh, why does she have to do this? Why can't she just be happy and in love?"
I shrugged. "I wish I knew."
"I wish you could see how much she's changed since she left here." We ended up walking to the river. She sat down on the bench that Abby and I had argued on, nearly a week ago. Her brown hair blew in the wind, and I noticed just how much she looked like her mother. Aside from a few traits she'd gotten from me, she was a spitting image of Abby. I sat down next to her. She looked over at me and continued talking. "She quit drinking and smoking the minute she found out she was pregnant with me. She hasn't picked up a drink or a cigarette since. She's more open about her feelings too. Except when it comes to you."
"She's the person I always knew she could be."
"After Antonio died, grandma and aunt Susan were afraid mom would start drinking again." She laughed a little. "Everytime she had a drink in her hand, someone would always ask her what it was. She got really annoyed, but you know, she stayed strong. She was sad for a long, long time, but she didn't let it get her down. She sort of shocked everyone with that."
I guess I hadn't realized just how much Abby had changed. When she told me we couldn't be together, I just thought it was almost...typical of her. It never occurred to me that she was just trying to protect herself. She's obviously been through a lot the past sixteen years.
"Dad, I think that you should try to talk to her again. It's been a week, she's had time to think about everything that happened."
"I don't know...I think maybe I should give her some more time."
Christina sighed. "I'm sorry, I think I'm being selfish. It's just I've always wanted a family. I mean, sure I grew up with all these great people, but I wanted a real family. Complete with two parents, who don't have two separate lives."
"Christie, that's not selfish. I want to be able to give you that family. I know what it's like to grow up and not really have both of your parents around."
"I just want you to know, that I'll be alright if you and mom can't work things out. Every kid dreams of the perfect family, but sometimes that's all it is; a dream. If things don't work out, I'll understand. At least I'll still have two parents, you know? Even if were not a family."
I pulled my daughter into my arms and kissed her on top of her head. She was amazing. I don't know how I got to be so lucky. Even if Abby and I don't work out, I'll always have a part of us.
