Chapter One - Running (Again)
And it's true I must be going, but I swear I won't be long...
-Great Big Sea
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains
-Paul Simon
The school was a nice place, Logan thought as he paced through the halls, really it was. He could feel comfortable here. Hell, he could wander the halls at night and nobody cared. He passed by a bedroom door and caught a whiff of soap. Irish Spring. And there, down the hall, that was that girl's favorite perfume...what was her name? Oh well. Nothing suspicious or unfamiliar in the air. It was almost creepy. Still, he felt better out here, on patrol, than tucked away in his room like the little boy he must surely have once been.
He kept going down the hall, smiling as he picked up everyone's scent and sound in turn. That John kid was snoring again. He wondered how the guy's roommate put up with it.
On and on past the kitchen, which was empty but still held an aura from dinner. Pork chops. Logan liked pork chops, though the ones they made here were a bit chewy and a bit bland for his taste.
He started walking faster, trying to get past the shadows, trying not to think about the dreams that had woken him up again. Now that he was awake, of course, there was no way he'd be getting back to sleep anyway. That feeling again-that electricity, acid in his blood. He started flexing his fingers, walking faster. He'd go to the gym. That would keep him from exploding. That was when he heard the familiar voice in his head.
Logan...I need to see you.
Now?
You had other plans?
Logan sighed and turned around. The gym could wait, he supposed.
When he got to the professor's office, the lights were off, as usual. As usual, Logan didn't turn them on. He wasn't about to give in yet. And there was the professor, sitting and waiting. Logan folded his arms and leaned against the doorway, waiting also. It took Xavier almost five minutes to turn around and look him in the eyes. Logan smiled triumphantly.
"You must be wondering why I asked you here," Xavier began.
Logan just raised his eyebrows.
"I've been checking into some things for you," Charles said. "I asked some of my contacts about a place called Alkali Lake, a military installation, up by where we first ran into you. It took a lot of persuasiveness on my part to do this, you understand. This is not exactly a well-publicized area."
"Why? What do they do there?" Logan asked.
"Well, there are a number of projects I've heard rumors about. One of them involves mutants. I don't know much more than that. They've been operational since at least the early 1950s, in connection with Project Paper Clip and some of the other less savory operations after the war. Mostly the base seems to come up in connection with biological warfare research over the next ten years. I haven't found any information after 1970, except that it was officially decommissioned in 1974. After that, nothing traceable. That's all I have right now, but it should be a good place for you to start."
Logan nodded. "Okay. I appreciate all this."
Xavier just smiled. "Thank me once you've been there, Logan."
"Is that it?"
Xavier eyed him in that way Logan had never gotten used to, and said, "Well, there is just one other thing."
"What?" Logan asked.
"Have you been enjoying your time teaching here?" Xavier asked.
"Sure, it's been all right," Logan said. "Why?"
"You just seem a bit distracted lately, a bit restless."
Logan thought for a minute. "Yeah, just a little restless. I've always been like that."
"How long do you typically stay in one place before leaving?"
"A couple of months." Logan paused again to think. "I think it's been about four now. Since Liberty Island."
"So it has," Xavier agreed. "You'll want to be getting along to Alkali Lake, then."
Logan sighed. "Yeah. It just feels worse than the other times."
Xavier smiled. "You'll still have a place here if you choose to return for it, if that's what's worrying you."
"I've heard that before."
"Most of us have," Xavier said. "Here we mean it."
"It takes some getting used to," Logan said.
Xavier nodded. "It does. But we'll be here once you're ready."
"All of you? Even if I leave?"
"It's not the leaving, Logan," Xavier said. "It's how you do it."
Logan thought about that, making his way back through the dark corridors. He'd always found that to be true. Usually it was best to leave quietly, without making much trouble. Usually, by the time he left someplace he'd made enough trouble already. No doubt that was true here too. He didn't look forward to having to face Scotty and tell him, tell all of them, he couldn't stay. Couldn't be an X-Man. It was all he could do to fight for himself without taking on the whole world. Besides, he figured they'd be just as relieved as everyone else he'd left, and probably not just Scott. It was time he left before he made himself unwelcome here too. Somehow, he couldn't bear the waiting this time, the inevitable disgrace. Best to leave while he wasn't really letting them down yet.
Somehow, though, when he went to pack the next day, it occurred to him to do his own checking up on this Alkali Lake. He may not have sources, he figured, but he had his Internet connection. There was a lot more information out there than the average person might have thought. He found three more bases mentioned in connection with Alkali Lake, two of them from the same biological warfare program, all closed. He also came across a base in the same area as Alkali Lake that didn't seem to be connected to it, but might be worth checking out anyway. At least it was still officially in operation. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find out anything about what this program was supposed to have done. He'd done everything he could from here. By this time it had been several days since his little talk with Charles. Logan hadn't said anything to anyone about his plans, and he had no intention to. He finally packed up his things and was slipping through the hall when he saw her.
Rogue- Marie- was hanging out in one of the rec rooms, playing foosball with some of the other kids. He was glad. She deserved better than the life she'd been living when they met. This was more what she was meant for, with no other worries than the boys in her class. He turned to g, but by then she'd seen him, and when she came running over, he was trapped.
"You running again?" she asked him, serious, hurt, and it cut him more than anything else she could have said. Of course I am, he thought. What else could I do? You'll get over it, he wanted to tell here, but the words stuck in his throat. All he could do was answer her.
"Not really. I have some things to take care of up north," he told her. It wasn't a lie, after all. He owed this to himself. But maybe, he realized as he looked her in the eye, he owed her too. After all, they'd brought each other here. When she said she didn't want him to go, he knew he owed her. So he gave her the dog tags. It would be something for her-not much, but it would help. And it would keep him from letting her down. He couldn't just run off now, he reminded himself; he had kids to take care of. So he walked out the door, almost like he'd planned. And when he got back, they would be waiting for him.
To be continued...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I strike again! Sorry I took so long to update; for those of you still reading this, thank you for your loyalty. I know, I'm a horrible updater, but between school and my other story, and being a lazy ass when I'm not in school, plus my taking a while to figure out where I'm going with this story, it just doesn't happen. I hope this has been worth the wait. I've got something of a plot figured out now. I'm afraid there won't be a whole lot happening, mostly a sort of detective story, but I hope y'all like it anyway.
Oh, and sorry if the quotes at the beginning seem overly pretentious. They seemed right.
And it's true I must be going, but I swear I won't be long...
-Great Big Sea
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains
-Paul Simon
The school was a nice place, Logan thought as he paced through the halls, really it was. He could feel comfortable here. Hell, he could wander the halls at night and nobody cared. He passed by a bedroom door and caught a whiff of soap. Irish Spring. And there, down the hall, that was that girl's favorite perfume...what was her name? Oh well. Nothing suspicious or unfamiliar in the air. It was almost creepy. Still, he felt better out here, on patrol, than tucked away in his room like the little boy he must surely have once been.
He kept going down the hall, smiling as he picked up everyone's scent and sound in turn. That John kid was snoring again. He wondered how the guy's roommate put up with it.
On and on past the kitchen, which was empty but still held an aura from dinner. Pork chops. Logan liked pork chops, though the ones they made here were a bit chewy and a bit bland for his taste.
He started walking faster, trying to get past the shadows, trying not to think about the dreams that had woken him up again. Now that he was awake, of course, there was no way he'd be getting back to sleep anyway. That feeling again-that electricity, acid in his blood. He started flexing his fingers, walking faster. He'd go to the gym. That would keep him from exploding. That was when he heard the familiar voice in his head.
Logan...I need to see you.
Now?
You had other plans?
Logan sighed and turned around. The gym could wait, he supposed.
When he got to the professor's office, the lights were off, as usual. As usual, Logan didn't turn them on. He wasn't about to give in yet. And there was the professor, sitting and waiting. Logan folded his arms and leaned against the doorway, waiting also. It took Xavier almost five minutes to turn around and look him in the eyes. Logan smiled triumphantly.
"You must be wondering why I asked you here," Xavier began.
Logan just raised his eyebrows.
"I've been checking into some things for you," Charles said. "I asked some of my contacts about a place called Alkali Lake, a military installation, up by where we first ran into you. It took a lot of persuasiveness on my part to do this, you understand. This is not exactly a well-publicized area."
"Why? What do they do there?" Logan asked.
"Well, there are a number of projects I've heard rumors about. One of them involves mutants. I don't know much more than that. They've been operational since at least the early 1950s, in connection with Project Paper Clip and some of the other less savory operations after the war. Mostly the base seems to come up in connection with biological warfare research over the next ten years. I haven't found any information after 1970, except that it was officially decommissioned in 1974. After that, nothing traceable. That's all I have right now, but it should be a good place for you to start."
Logan nodded. "Okay. I appreciate all this."
Xavier just smiled. "Thank me once you've been there, Logan."
"Is that it?"
Xavier eyed him in that way Logan had never gotten used to, and said, "Well, there is just one other thing."
"What?" Logan asked.
"Have you been enjoying your time teaching here?" Xavier asked.
"Sure, it's been all right," Logan said. "Why?"
"You just seem a bit distracted lately, a bit restless."
Logan thought for a minute. "Yeah, just a little restless. I've always been like that."
"How long do you typically stay in one place before leaving?"
"A couple of months." Logan paused again to think. "I think it's been about four now. Since Liberty Island."
"So it has," Xavier agreed. "You'll want to be getting along to Alkali Lake, then."
Logan sighed. "Yeah. It just feels worse than the other times."
Xavier smiled. "You'll still have a place here if you choose to return for it, if that's what's worrying you."
"I've heard that before."
"Most of us have," Xavier said. "Here we mean it."
"It takes some getting used to," Logan said.
Xavier nodded. "It does. But we'll be here once you're ready."
"All of you? Even if I leave?"
"It's not the leaving, Logan," Xavier said. "It's how you do it."
Logan thought about that, making his way back through the dark corridors. He'd always found that to be true. Usually it was best to leave quietly, without making much trouble. Usually, by the time he left someplace he'd made enough trouble already. No doubt that was true here too. He didn't look forward to having to face Scotty and tell him, tell all of them, he couldn't stay. Couldn't be an X-Man. It was all he could do to fight for himself without taking on the whole world. Besides, he figured they'd be just as relieved as everyone else he'd left, and probably not just Scott. It was time he left before he made himself unwelcome here too. Somehow, he couldn't bear the waiting this time, the inevitable disgrace. Best to leave while he wasn't really letting them down yet.
Somehow, though, when he went to pack the next day, it occurred to him to do his own checking up on this Alkali Lake. He may not have sources, he figured, but he had his Internet connection. There was a lot more information out there than the average person might have thought. He found three more bases mentioned in connection with Alkali Lake, two of them from the same biological warfare program, all closed. He also came across a base in the same area as Alkali Lake that didn't seem to be connected to it, but might be worth checking out anyway. At least it was still officially in operation. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find out anything about what this program was supposed to have done. He'd done everything he could from here. By this time it had been several days since his little talk with Charles. Logan hadn't said anything to anyone about his plans, and he had no intention to. He finally packed up his things and was slipping through the hall when he saw her.
Rogue- Marie- was hanging out in one of the rec rooms, playing foosball with some of the other kids. He was glad. She deserved better than the life she'd been living when they met. This was more what she was meant for, with no other worries than the boys in her class. He turned to g, but by then she'd seen him, and when she came running over, he was trapped.
"You running again?" she asked him, serious, hurt, and it cut him more than anything else she could have said. Of course I am, he thought. What else could I do? You'll get over it, he wanted to tell here, but the words stuck in his throat. All he could do was answer her.
"Not really. I have some things to take care of up north," he told her. It wasn't a lie, after all. He owed this to himself. But maybe, he realized as he looked her in the eye, he owed her too. After all, they'd brought each other here. When she said she didn't want him to go, he knew he owed her. So he gave her the dog tags. It would be something for her-not much, but it would help. And it would keep him from letting her down. He couldn't just run off now, he reminded himself; he had kids to take care of. So he walked out the door, almost like he'd planned. And when he got back, they would be waiting for him.
To be continued...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I strike again! Sorry I took so long to update; for those of you still reading this, thank you for your loyalty. I know, I'm a horrible updater, but between school and my other story, and being a lazy ass when I'm not in school, plus my taking a while to figure out where I'm going with this story, it just doesn't happen. I hope this has been worth the wait. I've got something of a plot figured out now. I'm afraid there won't be a whole lot happening, mostly a sort of detective story, but I hope y'all like it anyway.
Oh, and sorry if the quotes at the beginning seem overly pretentious. They seemed right.
