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One Ring to Mordor
(based on "Last Train to Clarksville" by the Monkees; original words and music by Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart)

(Gandalf tells Frodo about the Ring, and Frodo asks what he must do. Gandalf begins to sing, with Sam singing back-up from outside, where he's been listening.)

Take the One Ring to Mordor
You can take young Samwise with you
You can be there by next Springtime
And save all the free races
Don't be slow
Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don't know if you're ever coming home...

'Cause Sauron's getting stronger
And his orcs are everywhere
We'll have a little more time together
'Til I go see Saruman
But you must go
Yes, you must go!
Yes, you must go!
But I'll see you when you reach Elf Elrond's home...

Take the One Ring to Mordor
But first stop at Rivendell
There we'll hold a counsel
And choose the Fellowship
Oh, yes we will!
A Fellowship!

(Sam pokes his head in and joins Gandalf in a chorus of "doo-doo"s)

Take the One Ring to Mordor
Throw it in Mount Doom
You'll have to fight ol' Gollum while there
But you'll win
Yes, you will win!
Yes, you will win!
So I guess that means you'll be coming home...


Take the One Ring to Mordor
You can take young Samwise with you
You can be there by next Springtime
And save all the free races
Don't be slow
Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don't know if you're ever coming home...

Take the One Ring to Mordor!
Take the One Ring to Mordor!

(Gandalf and Sam continue the last line, eventually fading out.)