The Curse of The Clip On Tie!

"...so anyway, he dived - speeding closer and closer to the ground. It was the most tantalizing moment in quidditch history- could Harry catch the snitch in time? He was, after all, only one of the few, measly first years like yourselves-" Fred said evilly, catching the eyes of everyone in the room. Hermione threw him a pointed look and rolled her eyes, walking towards the boys dormitories to where Ron and Harry were stationed, getting ready for their first day of seventh year classes. She paused at the door frame.

"...but never the less, Harry would pull through. Strong, noble, and humble gryffindor that he was. Yes kids, he caught the snitch..." The room below her erupted into shouts and Hermione had to laugh out loud. She climbed the rest of the stairs eagerly. A new wave of classes would be joining her soon, nothing brought her more joy. When she reached their door, she knocked.

"Who is it?" came a high pitched voice, certainly false.

She tapped her foot impatiently. "Hermione. Why, are you expecting some one else?"

The door flung wide open and Dean and Seamus gestured her in with wide grins attached to their faces.

"Madame! Welcome to our humble abode," Dean said artistically.

"You two are in a good mood."

"Yes, well, our fortunes fair better than our poor friend over there," Seamus said, keeping with the jest. "May I escort you to the victimized?"

She scooted past his arm playfully and reached Harry and Ron. Harry looked as if he were trying not to laugh. And Ron- well Ron looked like he was trying to kill himself.

"Ron!" She shrieked, aghast.

He turned around, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration at the task at hand. He ripped his untied tie from his neck and stared at its now limp, wrinkled form.

"What is going on?"

Harry covered his head with his pillow, he was laughing too hard.

"Its not funny," Ron defended. He snapped the tie back so that it snapped, making a loud cracking noise.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, her eyes wide. "Are you sure that you know how to handle that thing? You should, after six years of wearing ties here at Hogwarts I should think that you of all people would know how to put one on," she said smartly.

Ron frowned. "My dear brothers thought that it would make a great joke to extend all my ties. They're like- snakes or something."

Hermione took in a breath sharply, trying not to laugh. Harry was beating his pillow with his fists, and Seamus and Dean were watching with amused expressions. "Snakes?" she questioned.

"Well what would you call it?"

"I'm afraid that I'm going to have to let you in on a big secret, Ron," she said with a mischievous grin.

"And what is that?"

"Those aren't snakes." She briskly walked towards him and took the tie from him. "This is what a real tie looks like."

"But its missing the little clippy thing-" he stopped talking when the room shook with laughter, with the exception of Hermione. With the fondness of a mother, she took the tie and held it up to him.

"Mind if I take over?"

He mumbled a 'no' and shot his supposed friends angry looks.

"You really should have learned how to do this your first year," she said, patronizingly.

"Mhm," Ron said, straining to see his neck- a quite impossible task considering the position they were in.

"Honestly," she added.

"Well its not like I do everything wrong," Ron defended.

"Have you finished your homework assigned from over the summer?" she asked simply.

He smiled. "Almost."

"Almost?!" she readjusted part of the tie she had just yanked down on. "When do you plan on completing this 'almost'?"

"Never," Ron said to her.

"Typical," she said.

"Have you done you're homework?" Ron asked.

What a pointless question, Hermione thought. "Of course."

"Hm... typical," Ron countered.

"Some people never change," she said, avoiding his bating.

"True. Are you almost done?" he complained.

"Just give me another second, its not as easy at it looks."

"And I suppose that if it were me, I should have had this done by now?"

"Well, yes."

"And why is that?"

"Because I said so. Here, go look in the mirror," she ordered.

Ron walked to the mirror hanging on the wall. He tugged at the tie warily. "Its tight."

She threw her hands up in the air. "Never perfect, is it?"

"No," Ron said, agitating her. He snickered.

"Fine, see if I ever help you again," she said. Swiftly, she ran up next to him and with the flick of her wrist, was able to undo the knot holding the tie together.

"Hey!"

"Well you said it wasn't perfect. I wouldn't want to taint your record of perfect-ness," she bated.

"For your information, perfect- ness isn't even a word!"

"Oh yea?"

"Yea!"

"Well fine! The point is that your tie is still untied and I'm not going to retie it for you!" she said stubbornly.

"Why not?"

"I can't run the risk of making it too tight," she mimicked.

"You just came up here looking for a fight, didn't you?"

"No."

"Yes you did, why else would you?"

"To help my abominable friends tie their ties!"

"Then why don't you do what you came here to do and TIE IT?!"

"I ALREADY DID!"

He glared down at her, and Hermione looked just as scathing from below him.

"Um, guys?" came Harry's voice.

"What?!" they snapped simultaneously.

"Never mind," he said meekly.

Feeling like a child again, she stepped on Ron's foot hard and left the room.

"BLOODY HELL!"

"I heard that!" she yelled from the stair case.

"BLOODY HELL!" He shouted twice as loud, hanging his head out of their doorway. At the bottom of the stairs, Hermione had crossed her arms and was looking very threatening indeed. "What are you going to do now? Untie my tie AGAIN?" He ran down the stairs to meet her.

"If I could, I would! Why couldn't you just say thank you and let me be on my way?"

"I was a little distracted by the throbbing in my foot! But now that you mention it, THANKYOU!" he said snobbily.

"Argh! You are most UN- welcome!"

Silence took over the scene as the two continued to glare at each other. Typical, indeed.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked, scowling.

"I'm waiting for you to do something. Why are you staring at me?"

"Same thing!" she shot back immediately.

Crickets, although notorious for residing in environments outside of the castle, somehow cast their monotonous song over the duo. Temperaments were strained.

"Well, are you going to DO something?" she asked.

"Are you going to DO something?" he said at the same time.

"Not likely," they both answered.

Their scowls left unhampered, the two were nose to nose and staring at each other madly. In a flurry of motion, they both leaned in and kissed one another. It was a small kiss, but one none the less. When they finally realized what they were doing, they both flung back.

"You kissed me!" she said incredulously, scowl remaining.

"Au contraire, YOU kissed ME!" Ron roared back.

"I think not!"

"Well there's only one way to find out!" he shot.

"What is that?"

"Hell if I know-"

So they snogged and they snogged. They snogged like there was no tomorrow- and then they snogged some more. Needless to say, there were some very surprised first years watching with repulsed interest.

"Now that, my friends, is history in the making," said Fred.

A/N: I wasn't going to post this, but I needed an homage to the Hermione/ Ron ship. And if you're wondering why Fred is in there, I have no idea. He's just... there. Visiting! Right- o! Drop me a review, my ickle- readers! Mwuah!