Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me, they are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox
This is my first published fanfic, so please bear with me as I figure out how this works...LOL
I updateded these a bit to correct some errors in spelling and grammer.
Chapter 1 is Jayne's POV, remembering a bit of his past...or my version of it.
Feedback is MOST welcome.
Many thanks to L.A.Guns, since I shamelessly stole the title for this piece from them.
It takes place about a year after Ariel...a couple months after OiS.
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Jayne sat on his bunk, looking down at the white box sitting in his hands. It was the box his Ma had sent him his new hat in a couple months back, though that was not what sat in it now. Jayne reached out gingerly and ran a fingertip lightly over the soft fabric inside, remembering the first time he'd seen them sittin' in that shop window back home....home, he hadn't let himself think much on that place in years. He closed his eyes and let himself remember her and all that lead up to his leaven' for the first time since he'd flown off that rock.
Jayne had known her most of his life, Megan was the daughter of the Magistrate Jayne's family had been indentured too. He'd been a fair man, bit harsh at times but all things considerin' Jayne knew his family had been lucky. He'd seen more men take undue advantage of their indentured servants in the years since he'd left then not. His Pa had died in a mining accident when Jayne was 11. Jayne, being the oldest, had taken Pa's place in the mines working off the family's debt. Least Magistrate Anders had been a fair enough man that only one of them had to work the mines for him, most places the whole family would'a been working off the debt. Ma would'a done it but there had been young'ns needed looking out for and their little plot of land to take care of, so Jayne had left off his schooling and gone to work. It was hard, back-breaking work haulin' the minerals out of the mines and Jayne had been a bit scrawny when he'd started workin' there. He'd toughened up mighty fast though. Got so's he was the biggest and strongest by the time he was 16. What with him workin' off the debt and his siblings helpin' out at home they got by well enough, was never much left off for savin', but they were fair in line for being free folks by the time he was 20, never occurred to Jayne when he was 16 that he'd do anything other then stay where he was, working the mines for money once he was free and livin' with his family on their tiny farm.
And there was a bright spot in it all, seeing her when she'd come to visit the mines with her father. Jayne knew she was above him, out of reach...with her golden hair and bright blue eyes...she was his angel, but sometimes she smiled at him. Megan was a year or two older, wiser....at 16 Jayne had been working 5 years already, from before sun up to after sundown, hadn't had time for gettin' to know girls and such. Even though he had no plans to leave he wanted to be free...his family to not owe, not be owned anymore...and he wanted to be a man. He knew it would make little difference to Megan, he still had little hope of being with her...but there was some...some small chance he had of her seein' him as a man if he was free that he did not have as things were. She made him feel all soft inside, when she walked by somethin' in him melted. She was so fragile, delicate...he knew he was too rough for her but he couldn't stop dreamin' of her.
Then there was that night he was walking home after his shift, tired as always, grimy as always, hungry as always....not starving, but never really full neither. Megan had stepped out from behind a tree in front of him, near scared him to death. She giggled softly when she saw his pale face in the soft light comin' from the other moon. He knew he must look pretty foolish gaping at her like that. She spun gently...dancing under the night sky...just for him. "I know what you want" she whispered "I know what I want, too." She'd danced right up next to him, now she was still, standing in front of him almost touching. She reached out, letting her hands run up his broad chest. "So big, so strong" one of her hands trailed down slowly as she grinned up at him "wonder if your as big and strong down here." Jayne felt like he was going to die, couldn't breath, his breath was stuck in his throat. "Yes, I do believe you are" she giggled up at him, then she kissed him, letting her tongue slide out over his lips, tasting him....hers were so soft against him he thought he was gonna burst right then and there. He hadn't, not till later, after she'd shown him what other things her lips could do. Then she'd shown him what his could do for her, and then what their bodies could do for each other. Jayne never made it home that night.
Things went back to how they had been before after that, 'cept she smiled at him every time now, smiled with a knowing, wanting look. And then on one of his rare days off he'd seen them in that store window. They reminded him of that night, how she'd danced for him, of how soft and graceful and pretty she was. He'd put what little he had down on them, started making payments on them picking up extra shifts where he could to pay them off sooner. Jayne figured her father had been upset when she hadn't come home that night and was keeping close tabs on her, plus with his working more she'd have a harder time catching him going home. Her knowing little smiles left him no doubt that she still wanted him. That she had plans to see him again like that. So he worked his shifts and made his payments while dreaming that someday soon she'd come to him again. He heard the rumors of course, 'bout her being betrothed to that rich guy that sometimes came to the mines with the Magistrate. But he knew she did not love him, that she wanted him, Jayne. He'd seen it in her eyes. He knew when he got a chance to give her what he'd bought that she'd see he wanted her too. That things would work out.
A couple weeks after he finished payin' them off she came to him again, it had nearly been a year since that first time. Same place as before, which was good since that was where he'd hid 'em. She came to him all softlike at first, then gotten real rough with him. Taking what she wanted, not that Jayne minded...he wanted to give it to her. Wanted it as much as she did. Afterwards he'd lain there drifting off a bit before he remembered what he had for her. He knew he had to give them to her tonight, her wedding was only a week off. He'd almost given up hope that she would come to him before then so he could show her how he felt and they could be together. So he'd gone and gotten the box out of it's hiding place...setting it down shyly next to her. She looked at it and Jayne felt a sense of unease as he realized her expression was not a happy one. "What's that." she'd asked harshly. "Present for you" Jayne said softly "thought ya might like it...." She looked up at him with something like scorn in her eyes, but she'd opened it....and laughed. She laughed so hard tears rolled down her face. Jayne felt like all the blood was drainin' out of him. "What made you think I would want this go se Jake?" she asked....and Jayne felt his heart break....she didn't even know his name. "Look.." she said, her face gettin' hard " I am marrying the richest man this part of the galaxy in a week, this means nothing, never did, never will...I wanted some fun before I take my place in society, but I will be taking it!" Her look plainly told Jayne nothing he could offer her...ever...would be enough to even tempt her to give up her rich, well ordered life and if he tried to make trouble about her wedding she'd make him pay for it.
He watched her leave through the tears in his eyes...then gently gathered up the things she'd discarded and went home.
He'd gone back to his empty life in the mines, finished up his family's debt then took the first transport off that forsaken rock. He'd never been back neither...kept in touch when he could with his Ma, if he got some spare he'd send that back too. But he never once returned. He'd drifted for a while, lookin' for something he was good at that wasn't mining. Got in a few bar brawls along the way, learned to shoot. In one of those brawls his first partner spotted him, Ace was a wiry, smart fella without much brawn to him...probably why Jayne caught his eye. He'd taught Jayne about the in's and out's of being a Merc...been almost like a new Pa to him. 'Course, he'd sold Jayne out a year later when they'd gotten in a tight spot. Last thing Ace taught him was not to trust anyone ever again, not even his partner. Ace had also been the only one that'd seen what Jayne had sown into the lining of his duffle bag. Only one that knew what Jayne still carried with him. They were all Jayne had left to remind him of her except the memories he wouldn't let himself think on. And he never wanted to forget that woman...if he ever did he might make the same mistake and Jayne had no intention of ever lettin' a woman get that close to him again.
He shook his head, clearing the clouds of memories away, letting the hum of Serenity bring him back to his bunk. He felt a bit drained, but otherwise ok...which seemed a bit odd. He'd never let this memory come back because it had always brought a sting to his eye when it tried to. But he had needed to remember, if he hadn't he wouldn't be able to let her go and Jayne needed to let her go now...he had found who she reminded him of.
"Gorramit Jayne, gettin' all sentimental..." he muttered to himself. He looked down at them laying there in the box where he'd put them an hour or so ago, then he started wrapping them up, wonderin' why he was thinking on giving them away again.
This is my first published fanfic, so please bear with me as I figure out how this works...LOL
I updateded these a bit to correct some errors in spelling and grammer.
Chapter 1 is Jayne's POV, remembering a bit of his past...or my version of it.
Feedback is MOST welcome.
Many thanks to L.A.Guns, since I shamelessly stole the title for this piece from them.
It takes place about a year after Ariel...a couple months after OiS.
********************************
Jayne sat on his bunk, looking down at the white box sitting in his hands. It was the box his Ma had sent him his new hat in a couple months back, though that was not what sat in it now. Jayne reached out gingerly and ran a fingertip lightly over the soft fabric inside, remembering the first time he'd seen them sittin' in that shop window back home....home, he hadn't let himself think much on that place in years. He closed his eyes and let himself remember her and all that lead up to his leaven' for the first time since he'd flown off that rock.
Jayne had known her most of his life, Megan was the daughter of the Magistrate Jayne's family had been indentured too. He'd been a fair man, bit harsh at times but all things considerin' Jayne knew his family had been lucky. He'd seen more men take undue advantage of their indentured servants in the years since he'd left then not. His Pa had died in a mining accident when Jayne was 11. Jayne, being the oldest, had taken Pa's place in the mines working off the family's debt. Least Magistrate Anders had been a fair enough man that only one of them had to work the mines for him, most places the whole family would'a been working off the debt. Ma would'a done it but there had been young'ns needed looking out for and their little plot of land to take care of, so Jayne had left off his schooling and gone to work. It was hard, back-breaking work haulin' the minerals out of the mines and Jayne had been a bit scrawny when he'd started workin' there. He'd toughened up mighty fast though. Got so's he was the biggest and strongest by the time he was 16. What with him workin' off the debt and his siblings helpin' out at home they got by well enough, was never much left off for savin', but they were fair in line for being free folks by the time he was 20, never occurred to Jayne when he was 16 that he'd do anything other then stay where he was, working the mines for money once he was free and livin' with his family on their tiny farm.
And there was a bright spot in it all, seeing her when she'd come to visit the mines with her father. Jayne knew she was above him, out of reach...with her golden hair and bright blue eyes...she was his angel, but sometimes she smiled at him. Megan was a year or two older, wiser....at 16 Jayne had been working 5 years already, from before sun up to after sundown, hadn't had time for gettin' to know girls and such. Even though he had no plans to leave he wanted to be free...his family to not owe, not be owned anymore...and he wanted to be a man. He knew it would make little difference to Megan, he still had little hope of being with her...but there was some...some small chance he had of her seein' him as a man if he was free that he did not have as things were. She made him feel all soft inside, when she walked by somethin' in him melted. She was so fragile, delicate...he knew he was too rough for her but he couldn't stop dreamin' of her.
Then there was that night he was walking home after his shift, tired as always, grimy as always, hungry as always....not starving, but never really full neither. Megan had stepped out from behind a tree in front of him, near scared him to death. She giggled softly when she saw his pale face in the soft light comin' from the other moon. He knew he must look pretty foolish gaping at her like that. She spun gently...dancing under the night sky...just for him. "I know what you want" she whispered "I know what I want, too." She'd danced right up next to him, now she was still, standing in front of him almost touching. She reached out, letting her hands run up his broad chest. "So big, so strong" one of her hands trailed down slowly as she grinned up at him "wonder if your as big and strong down here." Jayne felt like he was going to die, couldn't breath, his breath was stuck in his throat. "Yes, I do believe you are" she giggled up at him, then she kissed him, letting her tongue slide out over his lips, tasting him....hers were so soft against him he thought he was gonna burst right then and there. He hadn't, not till later, after she'd shown him what other things her lips could do. Then she'd shown him what his could do for her, and then what their bodies could do for each other. Jayne never made it home that night.
Things went back to how they had been before after that, 'cept she smiled at him every time now, smiled with a knowing, wanting look. And then on one of his rare days off he'd seen them in that store window. They reminded him of that night, how she'd danced for him, of how soft and graceful and pretty she was. He'd put what little he had down on them, started making payments on them picking up extra shifts where he could to pay them off sooner. Jayne figured her father had been upset when she hadn't come home that night and was keeping close tabs on her, plus with his working more she'd have a harder time catching him going home. Her knowing little smiles left him no doubt that she still wanted him. That she had plans to see him again like that. So he worked his shifts and made his payments while dreaming that someday soon she'd come to him again. He heard the rumors of course, 'bout her being betrothed to that rich guy that sometimes came to the mines with the Magistrate. But he knew she did not love him, that she wanted him, Jayne. He'd seen it in her eyes. He knew when he got a chance to give her what he'd bought that she'd see he wanted her too. That things would work out.
A couple weeks after he finished payin' them off she came to him again, it had nearly been a year since that first time. Same place as before, which was good since that was where he'd hid 'em. She came to him all softlike at first, then gotten real rough with him. Taking what she wanted, not that Jayne minded...he wanted to give it to her. Wanted it as much as she did. Afterwards he'd lain there drifting off a bit before he remembered what he had for her. He knew he had to give them to her tonight, her wedding was only a week off. He'd almost given up hope that she would come to him before then so he could show her how he felt and they could be together. So he'd gone and gotten the box out of it's hiding place...setting it down shyly next to her. She looked at it and Jayne felt a sense of unease as he realized her expression was not a happy one. "What's that." she'd asked harshly. "Present for you" Jayne said softly "thought ya might like it...." She looked up at him with something like scorn in her eyes, but she'd opened it....and laughed. She laughed so hard tears rolled down her face. Jayne felt like all the blood was drainin' out of him. "What made you think I would want this go se Jake?" she asked....and Jayne felt his heart break....she didn't even know his name. "Look.." she said, her face gettin' hard " I am marrying the richest man this part of the galaxy in a week, this means nothing, never did, never will...I wanted some fun before I take my place in society, but I will be taking it!" Her look plainly told Jayne nothing he could offer her...ever...would be enough to even tempt her to give up her rich, well ordered life and if he tried to make trouble about her wedding she'd make him pay for it.
He watched her leave through the tears in his eyes...then gently gathered up the things she'd discarded and went home.
He'd gone back to his empty life in the mines, finished up his family's debt then took the first transport off that forsaken rock. He'd never been back neither...kept in touch when he could with his Ma, if he got some spare he'd send that back too. But he never once returned. He'd drifted for a while, lookin' for something he was good at that wasn't mining. Got in a few bar brawls along the way, learned to shoot. In one of those brawls his first partner spotted him, Ace was a wiry, smart fella without much brawn to him...probably why Jayne caught his eye. He'd taught Jayne about the in's and out's of being a Merc...been almost like a new Pa to him. 'Course, he'd sold Jayne out a year later when they'd gotten in a tight spot. Last thing Ace taught him was not to trust anyone ever again, not even his partner. Ace had also been the only one that'd seen what Jayne had sown into the lining of his duffle bag. Only one that knew what Jayne still carried with him. They were all Jayne had left to remind him of her except the memories he wouldn't let himself think on. And he never wanted to forget that woman...if he ever did he might make the same mistake and Jayne had no intention of ever lettin' a woman get that close to him again.
He shook his head, clearing the clouds of memories away, letting the hum of Serenity bring him back to his bunk. He felt a bit drained, but otherwise ok...which seemed a bit odd. He'd never let this memory come back because it had always brought a sting to his eye when it tried to. But he had needed to remember, if he hadn't he wouldn't be able to let her go and Jayne needed to let her go now...he had found who she reminded him of.
"Gorramit Jayne, gettin' all sentimental..." he muttered to himself. He looked down at them laying there in the box where he'd put them an hour or so ago, then he started wrapping them up, wonderin' why he was thinking on giving them away again.
