Willow tried to enjoy herself as her own birthday party commenced, full steam. But she couldn't help wondering where Tara was. Part of her was worried that something had happened. Part of her was mad that Tara was late. When the phone rang, she stood to answer it, but Buffy beat her to it. She watched as Buffy moved into the kitchen to get away from the noise.
"Anya, why are you calling?" Buffy asked, glancing over her shoulder to make sure nobody else heard her end of the conversation. Especially Xander. "Why is Tara over there?" Buffy listened as Anya explained everything. She looked back into the living room at Willow, concerned about keeping this secret. "Okay, Xander and I are coming over. Yeah, we'll make up an excuse for Willow."
When she returned to the living room Willow was waiting to find out who was on the phone, hoping it was Tara. So Buffy told Willow what she wanted to hear.
"Tara's really sorry she's late. She got stranded on campus," she said. She turned to Xander. "We'll go pick Tara up. It won't take long. You just keep enjoying your party, birthday girl."
Willow smiled, relieved that Tara was okay and that she hadn't intended on being late. The story was believable. "Okay. Hurry back."
Xander and Buffy walked out of the house and as soon as they were in the car, Buffy filled Xander in on what was going on.
* * *
Tara was no longer unconscious, but she was still lying down on the sofa. Buffy and Xander were shocked by how weak she looked. She almost looked moments away from death. Buffy sat on the edge of the sofa next to Tara and Xander stood nearby. Anya sat on a stool near the kitchen.
"Tara, what happened? What did the spell do to you?" Buffy asked, deeply concerned.
"Oh, she explained that to me," Anya said. "It drained her of all her power, her strength. She would have died if I hadn't been here. It only made me dizzy."
"Did you find out why you're having the headaches?" Buffy asked.
"I don't belong here," Tara said quietly.
"She keeps saying that. Not much else. I think the spell weakened her brain too or something," Anya said.
"What do you mean you don't belong here?" Xander asked, ignoring Anya's comment. "Why don't you?"
"It's an alternate reality. Somebody conjured…or wished…I don't…" She paused, trying to compose her thoughts. "I'm supposed to be dead."
Nobody knew what to say. Buffy didn't want to accept that. She had come to truly despise the words dead and death. Especially when they were said in relation to people she cared about.
"No. That can't be right," Buffy said. "I mean, why? Why you?"
"It wasn't…meant for me," Tara replied. She attempted to push herself up into a sitting position. Buffy reached forward to help. She glanced warily at Buffy, knowing what she was about to say was definitely something Buffy would refuse to accept. "It was meant for you."
"Me?" Buffy asked. She leaned back and looked down at the floor. Another friend was in danger because of her.
"What was meant for her?" Xander asked. "I don't get it."
"Warren," Tara said.
"Who's Warren?" Anya asked, just as confused as anybody else.
"I don't know," Tara replied. She didn't know. She only had impressions. She didn't have all the facts. "He's a human. That's all I know."
"A human who wants me dead, but gets you instead," Buffy summarized. She stood, having made up her mind about what they should do. "Well, it's not gonna happen. We're going to find out who this Warren is and we're going to stop him."
"No," Tara shook her head. "It already happened, but not in this reality. You can't stop him."
"I'm still about finding this Warren guy," Xander said. "He sounds like somebody who's not playing with a full deck. He might not be killing you guys in this reality, but he could be killing other people."
"So we research Warren and alternate realities," Buffy said. "Anya, we're going to need to use the resources at the Magic Box."
Anya sighed in annoyance. "Fine, you can use the books in the shop. But if you need supplies you're paying for them."
"We thank you for your generosity," Xander said sarcastically.
"Willow can track down this Warren guy," Buffy continued.
"I don't wanna involve Willow," Tara objected. Buffy looked her in the eye, trying to be understanding.
"Tara, you promised. Besides, you look like a light breeze would blow you over," she said. "Willow will take one look at you and know something's up. And if you don't come back to the house, she'll know something's up. She has to be involved." Tara hesitated. "If you were Willow and she was you, wouldn't you want to be involved?"
Tara looked down and nodded her head. Buffy turned to Xander and Anya. "Anya, if you could get started at the Magic Box that would be a huge help. Xander and I are going to take Tara home and then we'll meet you."
Anya nodded her head. Xander stepped forward to help Tara off the couch but stopped when he noticed the look on her face. He rested a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, Tara. I've known Will since the sandbox," Xander said. "A little research does her body good. As long as she's not doing or witnessing a spell, she'll stay on the Magic Anonymous wagon."
Xander and Buffy each took an arm and carefully helped Tara stand. Tara tried to think of what exactly to say to Willow as they made their way slowly out to the car.
* * *
Willow paced at the end of the bed where Tara sat. Buffy and Xander had left for the Magic Box, taking Dawn with them. Willow had been oddly calm when they had arrived back at the house. They all sensed that Willow and Tara needed to be alone for some major discussion. Willow was trying to control her anger. She hated that Tara had kept this secret from her. She knew she was still working on earning Tara's full trust, but she thought Tara trusted her enough to tell her about this. They never kept secrets, not since Willow had given up magic completely.
"Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I know you don't trust me completely yet, but I figured you'd tell me about life or death stuff. Like the part where you do a spell that almost causes your death. And you went to Anya for help? That's not just a lack of trust in me. That's like an insult to my intelligence."
"I just…I needed an anchor for the spell, and you can't…" Tara began, not sure what to say. She didn't trust Willow fully when it came to magic. She hated saying it or even thinking it, but it was the truth. But she knew now that she could have at least told her. Willow would understand the trust issue when it came to magic. Tara knew that. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I didn't want to worry you."
"Did Buffy and Xander know you were doing this spell? Was everybody in the loop except me?"
"Buffy knew I was doing the spell, but she didn't know the side effects," Tara replied. "They knew that I thought the headaches I've been having were magical."
"So, who else knew? Did Danny down at the Espresso Pump know? Or are he and I in the same boat?"
"You're not in any boat. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just had to be sure," Tara said. She started to try to stand to approach Willow and cringed as her knees started to give way. Willow moved over and caught her, moving her back toward the bed.
"You need to rest," Willow said, her concern only slightly evident in her voice. "We'll talk about this when you have your strength back. I'll figure out who Warren is."
She started to head out the bedroom door when Tara tried to stop her, "Willow, wait."
"Later," Willow said, not looking back from the doorway. "Get some rest."
She left the room and Tara laid back on the bed, running her hands through her hair. She knew Willow wouldn't stay mad at her forever. She just had to do some apologizing once she got her strength back. Soon Willow was out of her head as she fell into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Warren and her own death.
